Journal Of A Journey - Book One

Book One

I had been obsessing for ages, living in a fantasy of my wife finally giving in to the desires I suspected she denies herself which, if she does so, will fulfil my wishes too. I had always harboured a wish to see her being fucked by someone else and knowing of her past before we were married it has not been a stretch of the imagination to picture her doing so. Indeed, when we were first wed we did discuss doing things such as getting involved with the Swinging scene - and we came close a few times - but for the past 25 years, it had only ever been my cock and cum in her.

Earlier we spoke about my upcoming 50th birthday and she said something to me I never saw coming; she said, “You know that you can request your present at any time. I am ready.”

I had no idea what she was talking about and asked, “What kind of present?”

She said, “Your present from me is a 24 hour period when I will unconditionally give my body for you to use as you see fit.”

My immediate reaction was a mix of being stunned, shocked, confused. She continued, "You just tell me what to do and I will do it without questioning it". After a short pause she added, "Just so we're clear what I’m offering as your present is for one full day you can do whatever you like to me or with me". I started to smile and she said as clear as day, "You can finally live out your wildest fantasy; if you want another guy to fuck me then we just need to make sure he's healthy if I’m going to let him cum in me".

All I could say was, "Are you serious?”

She replied, "This is your one chance; pretend I'm your sex-toy for the night and live out your fantasies before you turn 50".

"Any fantasy?”

She smiled back and said, "Honey, if you can arrange that gangbang I suspect you've always dreamed of, I'll be fine with it". She laughed for a second and added, “Just be sure of what you are asking for yourself because, you know, I just might enjoy it too!".

So, there it is, an offer to live out every fantasy I had ever had and I decided to write it all down.

My name is Stefan and my wife is Suzanne. I have always kept a diary; what follows is my journal of our journey.

******

Fulfil my fantasies; a Gangbang; really? My mind was still in turmoil at what Suzanna had suggested, no, had no-strings, no ifs or buts offered. But a gangbang; phew.

I'm now thinking seriously about seeing if there's a way to find more than one guy. I mean if we're going to do it, we might as well do it all. I have read about clubs or groups of guys who offer this kind of service and some clearly mentioned that they would gladly be tested. I mean, why wouldn’t they? If I decide to ride down this path it would have to be done bareback for that's something I know she would actually want for she invariably squeals with delight when I cum. From what she's told me she just loves it when I cum in her a lot (always has) and I have always been able to cum a lot! She's on the pill and the risk of her (at her ripe-old age!) becoming pregnant is minimal.

Would my asking for this be pushing it; is her making this suggestion related to a fantasy of her own; do women really dream about being gang-banged or is it maybe something she'd really dislike (albeit how can you dislike sex?)? I know she'd be okay with me watching one guy do her, she already told me that would be really hot, but more than one? I need to check a few things out.

*******

I’ve given it some thought and if I can be sure it's safe and that she won't freak out or something like that I honestly would love to see a bunch of guys fill her pussy with cum. She loves it when I cum in her and she loves it when I get her ‘warmed up’ with lots (and I mean LOTS) of lubricant and her very realistic dildo. I tell her when I'm fucking her, "...Baby, this is how you'd feel after another guy had you first..." and she totally responds. It’s a good job our house is on a open lot and the neighbours can’t hear her squealing when she cums.

I did start checking things out. There are these ‘Mandingo’ groups who are well organized and claim they are regularly tested. The clue is in the title and I discovered they're black guys but as far as I know she was never with a black guy before we were married much less a bunch of them!

I’m now thinking about putting an ad on Craigslist to see what might happen. I have nude pics of her and I’m hoping she’ll be cool with that. No matter what though, there's going to be at least one other guy enjoying her other than me on my birthday, of that I'll be sure.

I might bring it up this weekend somehow and gauge her reaction.

******

As my birthday date got closer I became a little less certain as to the sincerity of her offer for I never felt any real enthusiasm from her whenever the topic was bought up and, to be honest, I wanted her to be at least a little excited or interested.

However, life took an unexpected turn when about a month ago she started on a new project at work which required her to go for training on some computer application. Usually training is given locally but she said that the new job will involve having to travel a bit for both for the training and eventually to deploy the project to some of the company’s field offices. I don't know exact dates but I think she said the first class was going to be in March after Easter.

So, I'm now my thoughts are going in a whole new direction of encouraging her to play away while she's at her training class. I'm thinking of putting some Penthouse Letters magazines, some nice lingerie (she has a nice all lace bra and panty set) and so she is clear of my intention, I'd also pack her diaphragm and gel. I almost got the nerve to do this about 10 or more years ago when she was also going to travel for work but I never got the courage. Maybe I’ll slip a note into her luggage from me encouraging her to have a little fun.

******

Suzanna is travelling this coming week, leaving tomorrow afternoon, Sunday. She’s flying up to Boston and will be there until Friday evening when she returns. It's the first time she's travelled for work in years and years.

I’ve given up on the gangbang/Mandingo idea but I have floated the idea of her maybe ‘having some fun’ on the side while she is away. She didn’t reject the suggestion and indeed seems receptive, almost excited by the idea.

There have been times in the past when she’s let her inhibitions loosen but we've never gotten beyond the first few steps. We love to go the local nude beach here and she has learned over time to enjoy and appreciate guys looking/staring at her as we lay out in the sun. There was period when we went to a few local swing clubs and gotten naked there and fucked in front of lots of other people but from other guys she's never gone past just dancing and a couple of feels and maybe a kiss. We even tried a posting on the web which led to meeting with two different guys who she said ‘maybe’ after she'd/we'd Emailed them a few times but each time she just didn’t go further than just some feels. One of them got his hand in her panties but that was as far as it went.

But this travelling away thing; it was something I was hoping to do years ago, when her company used to spend more money on training and she used to go away for days at a time to other sites. Then, just as I was getting the nerve to suggest it, the company cut their budgets and the travelling stopped so the opportunity was lost.

******

I'm thinking of adding a ‘care package’ to her suitcase before she leaves tomorrow. In it I’ll put one or two Penthouse Letters magazines (ones I know have stories that gets us very aroused during our foreplay), her dildo and her diaphragm and contraceptive cream. I’ll add a note encouraging her to be brave and to explore her fantasies more freely without me.

When she sees the diaphragm and cream I know that she'll know I am hoping she'll fuck someone else. She knows right now that I want her to try it but she also knows that it's not something I'd ever force her to do or to beg her to ‘do it for me’ or anything like that.

If she does it then I want it to be because she wants it. Just that thought drives me crazy, her wanting another guy in her. I do know that deep down she does want it - she's even told me that - but she just can't let that desire surface. Maybe if she's away and clearly has both my permission and encouragement, she'll finally let it happen?

I figure I've got about 30 more hours to decide.

*****

I went through with it. I even bought two different kinds of condoms - Avanti's (they're polyurethane and supposed to feel better) and plain old lubricated Trojan's. It's been over 20 years that she's been either on the pill or using a diaphragm but I figure under these circumstances one can’t be too careful so I packed 6 of each kind. I found two different Penthouse Letters magazines the sort I seem to find her reading most. I slipped her diaphragm case in after checking that the thing was in there; contraceptive cream with the applicator and finally I put ‘Jim’ (her name for her favourite vibrator) into a manila envelope along with a note from me.

I didn't say much other than that I loved her and wanted her to know that she was free to act on any desire she might have with my love, support and encouragement.

When the car-service came to pick her up about 5pm I didn't know if I could stand it but I let her go and then went back in and got busy putting stuff away from our early dinner with the kids before she left.

*****

I figured her shuttle up to Boston should have put her in the hotel by about 9pm and sure enough, about 9:30 she called and I sensed right away that she'd found the package. We made idle talk about the flight up and our daughter already being in bed but the topic on my mind seemed to be studiously being avoided. Fed up with so much beating around the bush I finally just came out and asked if she'd unpacked yet.

There was that silence that I was dreading but then came a quiet, “yes; yes I did,” before she lapsed into another a big pause.

So I just started to talk to her like every other time that I had suggested she have a bit of fun. I told her that I loved her and that I thought that a beautiful lady who was free for an entire week might like to enjoy that freedom.

She stayed quiet as I spoke but then began to talk back with me, to have a proper conversation. I reminded her that the deal was that she didn't need to do anything she didn't want to do but, by the same token, I assured her that I was happy for her to choose whatever she DID want to do; to have some fun if she wanted and that would be my birthday gift from her to me. I reminded her how much fun she'd had in the past letting guys chase after her but how this time, if she felt like it, she didn't have to let the fun end.

I don't remember her exact words but she said in a really nice tone that she thought I was something-else and that she was surprised at just how much I wanted her to have this moment. She giggled about how I had even gone out of my way to buy her condoms. She said that it had sent out a signal to her that I truly wanted her to do it. I hadn’t really thought about that until she said it.

Now it was my turn to feel a pang of nervousness and silence but then I just said, "Absolutely honey, that’s what I was trying to say".

She said that she wasn't going to promise anything but that she'd give it some more thought later. Then she just changed subjects and without pause went into talking about the kid’s routine for tomorrow morning and other domestic stuff. I let her prattle on for a while but finally said, “Honey, you're away, forget about that stuff. We’ll deal with it. I want you to concentrate on your training, learn what you need from your class and enjoy the rest of the time however you like. We’ll be fine but you need to forget about this stuff for a while and focus on what’s important.

She just laughed at that and said again that she loved me and that I should have a good night. I told her to do the same and just as she was hanging up she said something like she might have to visit with Jim tonight before she went to sleep.

And that was it. She's away. All sorts of thoughts are going through my head and I'll have plenty of time to sort them out.

******

I spoke to her only briefly about 6:30pm when she called me on my cell phone just before I got home, I was driving so it was brief. I asked her all about her day and whether the class was going to be difficult for her.

She said it was okay; that she'd seen some of it before so she felt good about it.

I asked her if she knew anyone and she said that some of the faces looked familiar. I didn't ask what was on my tongue, whether any were guys.

I asked her what her plans were for the night and she said that as several people from the class are staying in the same hotel that they were going to get together for dinner and that they were meeting in the bar about 6:45 so she was getting changed as we spoke.

I asked in a sexy tone in my voice what she was going to wear and she just laughed and told me I shouldn't get any ideas, that she was just wearing jeans and a comfy shirt. I asked her if she'd wear sneakers instead of shoes with her jeans - something I find really is sexy - but she told me no.

I told her to have a good time and to give me a call later whenever she got back casually adding, "you know I'm always up late".

She laughed again and told me to keep my imagination going. As we said goodbye I said to her to, "Make sure you put some condoms in your purse, just in case..." adding, "that alone would be a turn-on for me even".

She laughed again and said, "okay, if that will make you happy for a few hours".

A quick ‘I-love-you’ to each other and we hung-up.

It's 9:00pm and my son is busy with something in the basement, our daughter is in bed and I'm realizing that maybe just maybe something could happen tonight. It's such a strange feeling going along with my thoughts of hoping she'll find some other guy but it’s a feeling that will keep me hard all night.

******

She called me about 11:30 and said she'd been back in her room since about 11pm. I asked her how her evening was and she said it was nice and then a whole lot of idle stuff about who everyone was and mentioned the names of two of the guys and some of the women. They'd had some drinks in the bar in the hotel and had then gone to some French restaurant around the corner. After dinner they came back to the hotel bar and talked until one of the women said she had to leave and that sort of started them all leaving. I was trying to figure out what to ask, to maybe find out who these guys were so I told her about my night and how I watched some TV with the kids and stuff; how I had recorded stuff for her when she gets back.

She did the thank-you thing and all that and instead of asking about the guys, instead I asked her if Jim (her dildo) had seen any action. She giggled and said, "Not yet" which I took to mean that as soon as I hung up with her that would change.

As we said goodbye and that stuff, I just reminded her and said, "You know, you ARE away for another 4 days".

She giggled and just said, "good night" softly and I was left with the click as she hung up.

Maybe I should have said more but I don't want to push it.

*******

Her second day and we spoke briefly; it seems the 5:30-6pm window works best. She said they'd worked through lunch and they were getting dinner later. I spoke with her again about 10pm and she said she was in for the night but she told me that they'd talked about going out somewhere nicer tomorrow night. She sounded tired so we just said goodnight. Boring, I know.

I've been thinking about what I could do to move things along. Maybe I’ll send her a text message tomorrow while she's out. My thinking is that maybe she'll have had a few drinks and that I might catch her in the right mood. She just needs a push at the right moment.

*******

I got a Text message from Suzanna before lunch saying ‘Going to lunch with Grant today’. I remembered Grant was one of the guys in the group from her class. I'm hoping there's a meaning behind the message and that she's not just doing this to tease me. I do know that they are all doing their ‘nice dinner’ tonight so I’m thinking I’ll send her a message of my own later tonight.

I haven't been able to focus on work since I got that message from her.

******

I just spoke to her and although she didn't come out and say it, something was definitely on her mind. I asked how lunch was and then added, "who is Grant?” She gave me that giggle and said lunch was very nice and that, "Grant is just a guy from class who asked me to lunch".

I said if he was a gentleman he should have paid for lunch and she said he did. I didn't like to ask more indeed, I think I was even a little scared to ask more.

She then changed the subject and began to tell me about the web stuff she's learning, flash something or other. I know how to use the computers but not how to write code for them so most of what she said went over my head. I then asked her about dinner; if they were all going; where; what and when. She said they were going to some French restaurant with most of the group. I didn't ask if Grant would be there but I'm assuming he will.

I asked her if she thought it'd be a late night and she said that it could be. With that she said that she really had to be going as they were supposed to be meeting at 7:00.

I tried to think of what to say but all I could come out with was, "have a good time". She said she would and that she'd call me later. I told her that I'd be up late so, "whenever".

Before she said goodbye I asked quickly if she still had the rubbers in her purse. She gave me that giggle again and said, "Yes, they're still there but don't be thinking anything".

I think I'll wait till about 9:00pm before sending her that text message reminding her to enjoy herself.

******

Well, I did it, I sent her a note saying she did NOT have to get back to call me later. I told her to have fun without me and to let herself go. I still can't believe I did that but I did.

******

A part of me wants to call her cellphone and ask what's going on. But the other part of me is sitting here hoping she's doing something - anything, but something.... I doubt I’ll sleep till she calls or at least texts me.

*****

She just called during a coffee break in her class. I asked her if she was okay; if she had a nice night and how was dinner? I must have sounded so excited.

She gave that same giggle again and said, "It was fine but don’t you want to know about after dinner?"

At that I just sort of asked, "Did you?" and with another giggle she just said, "not yet, but almost everything except that!"

I told her to tell me as much as she felt like and that my imagination would take me the rest of the way. All she'd say for now was that they'd all had a nice dinner together and they were having some drinks afterwards when she got my text message that made her smile. She said she'd already decided by then that she might want Grant. After drinks back at the hotel she said she went to his room where they, as she said, "did just about everything but fuck!”

I nearly squirted all over myself.

She said she would tell me everything ‘later’ so for the moment I felt I shouldn't push it, she sounded so happy. She whispered and added with another giggle that, “he has a nice body and cock!” Just her saying that made me throb.

She said when they got to his room she'd left her panties on and they made out on the couch; she added, "I even sucked on him."

I gave my hard a cock a squeeze and just told her I loved her, was very proud of her and VERY turned on.

That's when she said, "I think I'm going to sleep with him tonight if you're okay with it?"

All I could say was "go for it baby".

She called off and just said, "I love you so much.”

Needless to say, after hanging up I got some much needed relief! It's so wild to be sitting here knowing she's sitting in a class 300 miles from here with a guy she's going to fuck tonight! I thought about it this morning and I guess I'll just have to wait till tonight for more questions - like whether she’ll want him to use the condoms or whether she'll feel safe enough to use her diaphragm. And to think, it's all my fault. How wonderful!!!

*******

It's hard to concentrate at work today. I haven't heard from her all day today but I'm not going to initiate any contact with her; I don't want to spook her. For myself I am trying desperately to think about other things because every time I think about what she might be doing tonight I just get so turned on by it. Thinking that she might actually fuck another guy is so exciting - I’m actually excited for her! I've run through so many scenarios in my head; might she spend the night with him; Will she suck him again; Will she swallow (she loves my stuff); Will she really fuck him; Will she go with a diaphragm and/or condom? I just hope whatever happens that she enjoys herself and, of course, that she shares all the details with me.

******

She sent me one text message this evening about 7pm. All it said was "I won't be back till late but I promise I'll call you when I am. I love you."

My kids asked me what the look on my face was about when I read that. I just smiled and said it was good news about something at work which wasn't such a far stretch. I'm torn between letting my imagination and my right hand go to town or waiting till later whenever that might be.

It's coming up to 9:00pm, they could already be fucking. Just that thought gets me going.

******

Its 11:45 and I haven't heard from her yet. I am sure that means that she is no longer a "married virgin I can't really describe how I feel knowing she's done it finally and for sure. The thought of her letting another guy in her pussy after almost 25 years is just such a turn-on for me.

That sounds crazy, I know, but my mind is going in all directions; the thought of her being naked is his arms; her feeling his orgasm and him feeling hers for sure. I actually feel happy in a strange sort of way. It's actually very exciting to wait for her call, almost knowing what she's going to tell me about or at least hoping that's what she'll tell me about.

I'm saving myself for later, for when she calls and tells me anything. I want to be as horned up as I can be.

******

She called just after midnight. It was a bit awkward. She said hi and I said hi.

I asked her how her night went to which she asked, "are you sure you're okay with this?"

I just said, "oh baby, I am so turned on, I love you so much".

I heard that giggle again and then she just said, "so you won't be upset that your wife was a bad girl tonight?"

I said was that I was so happy for her and that I hoped she'd had a good time. I don't recall her exact words but she said that after dinner they'd gone back to his room and as she put it, "we fucked and fucked and fucked". Then she said, a bit guiltily, "I was so surprised when I came so easily with him".

I pushed and found she did use condoms with him so, as she put it, "I've still only had your stuff in me," but she added that "So now yours isn't the only cock I've had".

We just talked in general after that. She said she was very scared at first but once they got started, it just seemed very natural. She admitted that it was even better than she thought it'd have been. She asked me if I was turned on and I told her I'd somehow managed to save myself for after she called. She said she was a bit tired and asked if I could wait till tonight for more details and of course I said, "no problem baby it'll be a lot of fun when you get home".

She has a 5pm (or thereabouts) shuttle flight back to Newark which should get her home by 8pm at the latest. I know what I'm going to be doing tonight; reclaiming her pussy after she has been fucked by another man! Something I've dreamed about doing.

******

I sensed last night that she was tired and didn't really want to share all the details. Maybe not tired - but certainly relaxed. Turns me on now to think she was mellow from the afterglow of sex. I'm also not sure whether she was still with him or back in her room since she called me from her cellphone. Just thinking about it gets me aroused.

I have pictures in my head. I wonder if she felt confident enough for her to be on top. She loves that but only when she's really horny and lets herself go with me and be almost demanding. She used to always be like that when we first met. To think she may have gotten there last night just makes me stiff.

Flowers might be a great idea, I'll be sure to get some before she gets home tonight. I did send her one text about 8:45 this morning and I just said, "I love you and can't wait to see you tonight”

I need to get back to work but, damn, just knowing she had another guy’s cock in her last night is just incredible. I wonder if maybe I'm more excited that she even is. I hope she feels like sharing more tonight and I may find out if she matched my wild fantasies last night as I masturbated myself to sleep.

*****

It turned into a crazy day at work which fortunately took my mind off of things. I did get a Text message from her that she was at the airport and that she'd see us at home later tonight. Meeting her at the airport won't work logistically and she has car-service arranged already. But I will have flowers and champagne waiting for her when she gets home.

The class she was at was run by an independent education company and trains people from all over. I do not believe that Grant either works with her or that he lives near us but I will find out for sure tonight.

I am aware of the possible downsides here of how women can't always separate the physical from the emotional regarding sex. I know we're going to have to have a big discussion about all of this to see what she wants for sexual partners and whether this is something she wants on an ongoing basis. I am not opposed to sharing her but agree with the issues of her possibly getting too close and developing other emotional attachments.

Of course, I'd never share any of my concerns or anxieties with her that much I knew going into this and I recognise that I have a tendency to ‘overthink’ things but I have given her nothing other than positive reinforcement and my steadfast encouragement to enjoy herself in any way she wants. I also have to believe after almost 25 years together and 20 years of marriage, that she too will be cautious with her feelings too.

I am so turned on at the thought that after almost 25 years that another guy got to enjoy her charms. I would still like her to have the experience with the other actually cumming inside her. She has always (at least she's seemed to) enjoyed it when I and the guys before me cum inside her. It was one of the things that attracted me to her in the first place that she would fuck bareback. A guy who I worked with way back then had told me about her; that she was on the pill and that she didn't make him use condoms. So even before we married the knowledge that she'd slept around a bit was something that aroused me.

Now, I need to let my hard-on relax before I can leave the office and head home. I can't wait to undress her and see the body she shared with Grant.

******

It's almost 8pm so she should be home soon. I'm on pins and needles and I know it's just me because the kids are off doing their own thing.

I wonder if she will be wearing the panties she let Grant get inside. It would be hot to see or even put those panties on but I don't know if I’m ready to ask her for that just yet. At the moment I want her to feel loved and supported not focusing too much beyond making sure she's and we're good.

She well knows my long time fantasy for truly sloppy seconds with her. Will she feel comfortable telling me everything that went on? I want to know how she felt when she first felt his cock and thought about fucking him. I want to hear how it felt having him sucking on her tits and having his fingers in her. What I really want to hear is her tell me that she really gave herself to him and that she enjoyed it a lot. It'd turn me on to know she didn't hold back on what she wanted or what she got.

I can't wait till later when the kids are to bed and it's my turn. It's been ages since I just wanted and needed to fuck her like this.

*****

It’s Friday night and the Champagne and flowers worked wonderfully to welcome her home. We exchanged some very passionate kisses and I had the overwhelming desire to just drag her upstairs but I controlled myself and waited for our daughter to go to her bed and then we called down a goodnight to our son who was in his basement bedroom. Within a few seconds we went up the stairs.

She came out of the bathroom and saw me just staring at her. I told her that she looked more beautiful than ever; a moment later we were in bed kissing.

It's hard to explain but it felt different although I’m sure it was just in my head but I knew she felt it too. There was more physical passion to her kiss and how she felt to me I didn't want think about it having been Grant who kissed her last but as she knelt and then started to undress I could not quell the knowledge that Grant was the last person to have seen her like this, just a day earlier. As she took her bra off I thought about Grant having sucked on her tits last. And as she slid her jeans down and left just her panties on all I could think about is what she'd said on Wednesday, about what they did do while she kept her panties on.

She turned and walked towards the headboard where I was leaning. Damn she was sexier than I could remember in a long time. My cock was as stiff as it had ever been and we hadn't really talked about her trip yet other than our downstairs conversation.

I had thought I might hear something about what had happened but I realized that she really wanted me at that moment, as much as I wanted her and Grant wasn’t on her mind at that moment She later told me that she wanted to feel that I really wanted her and she thought that I'd want the same. I let my mind race and wander, I thought about Grant's hands under her panties and his fingers inside her. I thought how she may have stood like this just last night with Grant lying where I was and how he'd reached over and slide her panties down and saw her pussy for the first time.

Suzanna normally keeps her bush trimmed very close; she doesn't like the bald look despite my loving it. Instead she keeps it trimmed very short so that it has the appearance of being more hairy than it is, until she gets aroused, and then she swells up and it reveals just how short it's trimmed as most everything comes into view. I wondered what Grant thought the first time he saw her naked. Damn did that vision make me hard.

I slid my boxers down and let her see how much she excited me. She smiled and lay down beside me and invited me to climb on top of her. Then it all became a blur until the moment that I was about to enter her. I’ll not try to describe the feeling that came over me when I felt her pussy around my cock other than saying it was intense arousal. I felt like I had grown an inch in every direction as I thrust into her. She gave a squeal and pushed at me to go slower but a moment or so later I knew she'd caught up to me when I felt her pull me close and that was it, it was like someone had hit the ‘on switch’.

She pulled her knees outward and I felt her pull me deep into her. Her eyes were wide open looking down as she said stuff about how big I felt. I felt like I was in her so deep I was taking root. The whole time images and thoughts of it being Grant with her and images of them together just raced around in my head. I felt like an engine that was running, pushing into her over and over. I felt her start to cum and as she really got going I let myself think that Grant had felt her cum like this just yesterday and that was it, talk about orgasms!

Wow, it seems like it's been years since I came that much. I felt just incredible afterwards and as I came out of my fog, I could see on her face and from how her breasts were heaving up and down as she caught her breath that I knew she'd really let loose too.

As we lay there she asked me if I wanted to hear more about her trip. We were spooning and I was behind her. I think she's more at ease talking about heavy stuff when we're in this position because she's not looking right at me. She told me how she wasn't sure about really doing it with Grant despite having moved the condoms from one purse to the one she took to dinner that night. But she said that my text message that night gave her the courage and conviction to really do it. I think it was easier for me too not have to look at her directly as she told me this. I know I hugged her and she could feel my cock still throbbing as she told me more.

*****

She did say that she thought she would have had much more difficulty than she actually did and was almost surprised when she didn’t. I wasn't surprised that she was able to go up to Grant’s room without much of a fuss and I wasn't surprised when she told me how effortless it was for them to start kissing and undressing. I don't know why she was surprised given the few times we did make some progress at home, she never showed any reluctance to give in and let other guys have some fun. I think her surprise may actually have been that she was able to do it without me being there and coaxing her to "go for it" as I've done in the past.

She continued and said that at first she didn't really want to be kissing him. She’s funny that way, she views kissing as something very personal; something that she does with me just like sucking cock but, bizarrely, she goes on to say that for her fucking actually isn't as personal. However, she accepts that to get from point-A to point-B, usually involves kissing and a fair share of foreplay including, usually, her sucking the guy an explanation which indicates why there’s always been a problem in the past of us getting involved in the swinger scene. So, maybe, being without me made that part easier for her. I know it turns me on to see her kissing another guy and I KNOW it would turn me on to see another guy’s cock in her mouth but I think she feels self-conscious if I'm there.

I asked her if he was big and she said, "He was a bit longer than you, but you're thicker" and then she added, "he was easier to suck than you" which I knew to be true for she has a relatively small mouth. She surely felt my cock throbbing at that comment. She then whispered that maybe one day I could watch her do that. My cock gave another jerk and I responded, "I'd love to".

She said that before she knew it she was almost totally undressed, down to just her panties and she was on her knees. Damn that turned me on to hear. She said he was very clean and that she enjoyed sucking him a lot. I know she felt my cock growing harder as she told me how he sucked at her tits and ran his hands down into her panties. I wondered how she felt the first time he touched her there but I didn't want to push her with a lot of questions for fear of making her feel guilty or anything. But she willingly shared that she felt incredibly sexy as she felt his desire in his hands and fingers and also in his cock when he started to sort of fuck her mouth more.

I asked her if she came from his fingers that night and she hesitated and then said, very quietly, "yes". That totally turned me on, that this guy was able to make her cum with just his fingers in her pussy. I don't know why except when I think of her with her legs spread and his fingers rubbing away; when I think of her cumming on his fingers and him feeling her pussy contract and get really wet, damn, it's just a turn on to even think about it now.

She said he wanted to fuck that night but she told him that she wasn't ready for that yet but then she said quietly, "So I told him I'd give him a bj".

As I’ve said before, she either had to have been really turned on to do that or she had to feel a good connection with this guy for her to make him feel good. I know that she doesn't get much pleasure out of giving bj's but has done it if she felt good about the guy (like me!).

I didn't need to ask if she swallowed, she ALWAYS swallows, and knowing that was also a turn-on that she'd let him cum in her mouth. She said he came a lot that first time and afterwards found out that he hadn't cum since before their trip started. What did surprise me was that after he'd finished cumming and she'd swallowed a bunch of it, that she stood up and kissed him and they shared some of his cum! I know she's done that with me and it's always been very arousing but I was surprised that she did it with him and I was also surprised that he was okay about it as I understand guys have a phobia about cum even if it's their own.

The Wednesday night ended with a kiss as she put some of her clothes back on (she left off her bra and socks) and then she went back to her room to call me.

She said there was no question in her mind on Thursday morning that she wanted to fuck him but I also think she knew that if we talked on the phone that she might have second thoughts which would explain why she only sent me that one text message that day.

I don't remember all of what she said about Thursday, all I remember is that she knew all day long as she sat in class with Grant that she was going to fuck him that night. She did say she gave a lot of thought to whether she'd use her diaphragm or ask him to use a condom. I told her I was surprised at her choice and she said that Grant had made mention of them the night before when on Wednesday night she had said something about her not being on any kind of protection. He’d said he needed to get some condoms so she figured that he'd want to use them.

When she went up to his room after dinner on Thursday she said that he said he'd have to go down and pick up some condoms. That was when she said to me that at that moment she felt both incredibly sexy and also like a total slut when she said, "Don’t bother, I have some in my purse".

This time she said there was even less awkwardness and when she stood next to the bed and let him slide down her panties, she felt no shame or guilt but she said she felt incredibly empowered! She said that seeing the desire for her in Grant’s eyes; seeing his body respond to her just filled her with feelings of sexual power.

A little different to the last time when she finally let a guy get his hands into her panties at one of those parties we had attended. Then, she had confessed, she had felt incredibly ashamed and shy. So I’m now convinced the change in attitude is because unlike those early days I wasn't there to witness. She confirmed my thinking when she said she felt totally sexy and uninhibited standing there naked for the first time in front of a man who wasn’t her husband; another man while her husband was far away.

He stood and kissed her and their bodies were fully naked against each other. She said he kissed her and then made his way down her neck to her breasts. She must have told him she liked that for it's her favourite way to start. I was both aroused and becoming jealous of hearing the details. It was an incredible feeling.

She said he kissed and sucked at her breasts until he pushed her onto the bed and climbed on top of her. What I would have given to be there and see that in person. I pictured her breasts; her nipples stiff; her chest heaving with deep breaths. He then kissed his way down her body and I nearly died when she said that she just spread her legs and let him lick and eat her. She normally likes me to get her going with my fingers first but here she was letting this stranger just suck away at her pussy.

If I thought I nearly died when I heard her tell of him starting to lick her, I nearly came all over her back when she told me that he pushed his tongue deep inside her wet slit and within an instant she felt her climax coming as he ate her pussy. She told me he stayed ‘down there’ whilst she squirmed with his head nestled between her legs and then he started to push her knees back. Damn if I don't know that position with her, it just opens up her pussy! She said his tongue felt incredible and that was when she just said, "I let myself go at that moment and gave all of myself to him".

I knew what that meant, it is what I'd wanted to hear for years, she'd finally let herself go with another guy. I know that if she said that, that she must have really spread herself open for him and he must have had his tongue and fingers all the way in her as she came. That is such a fucking turn on for me to think about. Knowing her pussy was spasming away on his tongue and fingers while she lay naked in bed with him some 300 miles from home.

Once she cums she's usually wet enough to get started. She said she reached down and felt he was still really hard and that's when she said he should put on a condom.

She said she gave him a condom and took out the small bottle of Astroglide and said he might need to use once they got going. To her (and my surprise) he actually put a few drops inside the condom before he put it on, he said it felt much better. She didn't complain, she's not a condom fan so if it would make it feel better for him that she understood that. Perhaps I might try that myself one day.

She said it was very erotic watching him smooth it on, knowing he was going into her next! He then applied some lube to the outside of the condom and she said that the next moments seemed like they were in slow motion.

She said she pulled her knees apart and she could feel how wet she was and then, damn I couldn't believe I was actually hearing this from my wife, she described how she watched him rub his rubber sheathed cock up and down between her pussy lips and then, "... he just started to slide right into me!"

We were still spooning and I swear I felt a spurt of cum shoot out of me at that moment! She proceeded to tell me how she just watched, mesmerized, at him slowly entering her body.

She made a point to tell me of the thoughts in her mind at the time; that her pussy was no longer mine and she started to think, well, it's not real, he's in a condom and , something I'd told her a long time ago, that is it really any different than using a dildo? Well, hearing her tell me it in person and for real my thought was, “YES it's much different than a dildo!”

She said that by the time he was all the way in and she felt his pubes against hers that all those thoughts were gone and, as she put it, "at that point, I just wanted to fuck".

I moved her around and slid my now very stiff cock between her legs rubbing against her wet pussy lips as she kept talking. Every now and then she'd reach down and push my cock deeper into the wet cleft and every now and then I'd push the tip into her just a bit more.

She told me how she wrapped her legs around him and held him deep so she could feel all of him. She told me how they rolled around on the bed, him taking her from behind and then, her favourite position, she got on top of him.

Finally, feeling my cock throbbing between her legs, she reached down and guided the tip back into her very wet pussy and she told me then how they rolled so she was once more on her back and then, as she took my re-hardened cock all the way in her, she told me how she pulled her knees back for him and told him to, "cum in me; fuck me and cum".

I swear I felt myself almost cum inside her hearing that, letting my mind go to what they must have looked like all sweaty and how the room must have smelled like sex and to think of her giving all of herself to him and telling him to cum in her.

She arched her back towards me and I held her hips from behind as she just said, "finally, he was so close and with one last thrust I knew he was cumming!"

At that moment when she told me of him cumming in her, I just let loose in her from behind. My God, cumming 2 times in such a short period of time but, damn, just hearing her tell me that, that another guy had reached orgasm inside her, damn, it just set me over the edge.

We were a mess as we calmed down, but we stayed together and all I could tell her was that I loved her over and over and how incredible she was. She just held my arms around her, spooned herself back against me even more and cuddled in as we sort of dozed off together.

At that moment, I knew she would be okay and I knew we would be okay. I really just knew it then. I knew it right then that knowing she'd fucked another guy and had cum like crazy with him wasn't going to bother me, at least not based on how we felt together at that moment.

******

That Friday night when she came home was quite an evening. I can't remember when I last had a night when I actually came twice in a long time.

Friday and Saturday was some of the most intense and physically satisfying experiences that we've had in years! It was everything I'd been hoping for, like re-stoking a fire or, at the least, like turning up the temperature setting in our sexual furnaces. When I felt how aggressive and how horny she was last Saturday I knew that we might have finally unleashed Suzanna's desires.

On Saturday it seemed like every free minute we were either kissing or hugging and feeling her reach down and squeeze my cock each time was just incredible. After lunch - of all rarities, at one point when we were in the bedroom she slid her pants and panties off and just asked me if I wanted to go down on her; she looked at me and actually said she was horny! Incredible from her, 48 years old; a real rarity. I felt blessed

She'd taken her diaphragm out and had cleaned up when we woke up but by this time as she lay on the bed for me, she said she was soaking wet again. When I felt how she was and looked up at her – and I can still remember her just saying, "What? I'm horny, what else can I say?”

After going twice the night before I was very content to spend a lot of time between her legs. The whole time I just kept on thinking about how she must have felt with Grant doing that to her and I have to be honest, it went through my mind many times then and since then that one day I'd love to be licking her lover’s cum out of her pussy.

I say it was a rarity for Suzanna because before then she was always reluctant to just let me go down on her and that would be all. In the past, for whatever reason, if I started with oral sex on her, it almost always led to fucking but not last Saturday. After bringing her to a trembling orgasm with my tongue and fingers she just looked up at me and said, "thanks" and with that she got up and went to get washed up. As she went into the bathroom all I could think was that I was finally experiencing the sexual desires that I'd wanted to see in her for so long.

Later as we talked (and we did talk a LOT) I told her that I really enjoyed making her cum earlier and that I loved seeing her sexual side so prominently displayed. She confessed that she too did feel, somehow, much more aware of herself and her desires and she also said she felt much more relaxed in letting her desires out.

It had taken some effort and planning and cunning on my part but it had worked! She had fulfilled my fantasy of having her get fucked where she could feel safe and comfortable and to let herself go wild. At least for last weekend; it had re-awakened the sex-bunny that I'd fallen in love with and married so long ago. Where do we go from here I’m wondering.

I took her place in the shower and sluiced away the evidence of our last fuck. I couldn’t remember if I’d thanked her for giving me the best birthday present ever.

*******

I have to say that despite Suzanna's sexual aggressiveness; there have been many points where she's felt uncertain and even guilty about what she'd done. I see these thoughts in her head when we have down time in between when our daughter and son go to bed - as if when she lets her mind go, she doesn't like where it goes.

I have continually reassured her that I love her just the same, maybe even more since last week. She can't see how my respect and admiration for her have gone up but they have. I find that I am just more appreciative of her.

I did some other reading on some cuckold sites and it seems that my response last Friday night is expected if you read the theories relating to being a cuckold. It seems that deep down inside I knew she'd been with another man and instinctually my body acted to reclaim her. As if somehow my body knew it needed to fill her with my own sperm to reclaim her. It sounds sort of sexy.

We did do a lot of talking about her experiences of last week when she was away and she said that after she was able to let herself go as far as she did on Wednesday that she felt very reassured and very confident going up to his room on Thursday. As I said before she felt very comfortable about getting naked with him.

She also confessed to me that, looking back now, that a part of her is sorry he had used a condom; that she wishes she'd used her diaphragm because she felt cheated not feeling him cum in her.

Suzanna's kind of different that way, she's always liked guys to cum in her and she's always liked how she feels afterwards. In our 20+ years together she's never ‘run off’ to the bathroom after we've had sex; she was quite happy to feel my cum swimming about. Long ago when we did work together, she would always just pull up her panties and panty-hose if we had a quickie at lunch and if we'd see each other in the afternoon she'd always look and smile at me or whisper that she was ‘so wet’" from me but always in a good way though.

Since Sunday, it's been a heck of a busy week but even so she has wanted to fuck most every night and that's a huge change from before she went away. Granted she was always pretty receptive to my advances but for her to want to fuck most every night, well, it is almost unheard of, a real change but, confusingly, it now seems to be wearing off. That is, we didn't fuck last night!

I haven't, and she hasn't mentioned, wanting to do it again. To be honest, I'd be okay with it but I wouldn't want it flaunted in my face or to be the subject of the neighbourhood gossip. However, if she wants to get sweaty with another guy from time to time, I think I'd be okay with it.

That something we'd talked about long long ago, that is if (and when) she did go with another guy, that we'd agreed that she wouldn't do anything that would take away from or degrade our relationship. I don't think there was any way she was going to fall in love with Grant but I've read enough to know that if we do find another guy that it has to be clear and controlled as much as possible to prevent any such problems.

I don't think Suzanna is one to let her emotions get out of control; there's been plenty of evidence and behaviour to make me believe that she can separate sex from love. As I mentioned she was pretty promiscuous after her divorce and before meeting me but she never let her emotions get in the way so that was reassuring. Even when we were first dating, I knew she was still seeing (and probably fucking) at least one other guy but when our love for each other grew there was never any conflict between us or whoever else she was seeing; she just never felt for them what she felt between us.

******

I know we're in for a very hot night tonight. She suggested we get in some more champagne and I know what that means. If the feelings are right tonight, I may ask her more questions about what she wants for the future. Somehow it's easier for me to ask her ‘important’ questions like that when I'm buried in her from behind holding her hips. It’s a lot easier to say, "do you want another guy to take you like this" than looking at her over a cup of coffee at the kitchen table and asking,, "do you want to fuck other guys?".

Like I said, let’s see how the evening goes. Since last week all she's really wanted to do is ‘make love’" and not just fuck so I’m still sensing that she still may have some doubts or concerns.

I think I've played the game well so far in avoiding what I can and at the same time encouraging her along, I don't want to mess it up just yet.

******

She's still horny, much more so than she'd usually be at this time during the month so over this past weekend I did ask her if she felt more desire or more arousal. As we lay naked in bed sipping Champagne she admitted that since her night with Grant she just feels more sexy and more sexual in general. She said something about how the sex was with Grant as it reassured her that she's still sexy and desirable even at 48. I laughed and joked that when I told her that previous to her week away that that’s what would be the consequence that she really didn't believe me. Now she saying that it's a different feeling hearing it from someone else, someone new.

She still had misgivings but to a much lesser degree about me wanting to hear her tell me how about her and Grant and how much it turns me on. She was hesitant to talk more about their sex together and reluctant to even really bring it up until I kept telling her that I loved what she'd done. That was when I felt brave enough to say, "I'd even like you to do it again - if you want to".

She didn’t say anything so I thought for a second and instead of asking her again, I just said, "you do want to do it again, don't you?”

She answered with, "if you are really okay with it, then yes, I think I would want to".

Damn if that didn't make my cock grow another inch. We put our champagne glasses to one side and I climbed on top and without pause I slipped my cock inside her wet pussy. As we started to fuck I just kept saying over and over how much I want to feel her after she's been with another guy. I told her how I wanted someone else to make her cum the first time, "let them do all the work".

She knows that I really do want to have sloppy-seconds with her and I played that up to, I told her at one point, "just think how good this would feel if you were already really wet and had already cum a few times".

We use a lot of lube but this time I added a bit more and slid back into her and said, "this is how it'd feel, wouldn't it?". At that point I'd used so much Astroglide that she was totally slick and totally open for me.

As we got closer and closer to what I knew was going to be a huge orgasm, I asked her if she'd like a bigger-guy than me to try out. I could feel her response in her pussy as I kept talking, I knew she was getting off on it too. Finally, I just couldn't take it any longer and I let visions of her and Grant come into my mind and I just started to spew in her. She was right there with me and for a nice change, we both really climaxed together.

Afterwards we talked some more and I asked her if she was serious about maybe wanting to find someone more ‘local’. She nodded and said she would but she was also very concerned about how she/we could keep it on the discrete side. She also looked at me and said that she did want to do it with a guy without a condom too and I told her that if we found the right guy that I'd figure out how to handle that situation so we're all safe.

All in all, it was a great weekend and I have to honestly say I really don't have any qualms or issues even now over a week and a half later. I am still turned on whenever I see her naked or if I even think about it so that part is totally worth it to me to have that mental stimulation knowing it really happened. I think she's also, especially after this weekend, coming to terms with it herself that she may finally allow herself to admit that she liked having sex with another guy and that she liked it for herself and it wasn’t just for my sake.

The downside is that she's due for her period next week and from so many years together with her, her sex-drive really wanes during the last week of her cycle. However, it does really ramp UP during the first week or two afterwards which explains some of her desires with Grant as that was right at the beginning of week two.

*******

We’re getting close to Suzanna getting her period and that is gradually shutting down her desires but even come Monday night she was still horny and she was the one who got things started. That alone has been a great change and if nothing else, I'd definitely say our new adventures have been worth it!!

I did push her during sex with her about whether this was a one-time-thing or did she want more. I did use some more explicit language asking her at one point whether she wished it was someone else’s cock in her while I was pounding away at her. Plus, she's definitely been more aggressive asking, no, demanding that she wanted to be on top more often.

When we talked about another guy outside sex together she's been reluctant to come out and plainly say she wants another guy again but at the same time she's said things about being discrete if we find another guy and, more than once, she's said she'd like to find someone we can trust health-wise as she'd like not to use condoms. She does know that is one of my hopes too.

I suspect that my right hand will be busy while she's indisposed over the next few days. I have so much to think about.

I am very mindful of not pushing the cuckold-ness yet despite my desires. I definitely want her to feel comfortable before asking her to take more control of our sex together.

******

It's now a bit over two weeks later and she's just finished her period. She was always most horny in the first week of her cycle and this week has been no different. If anything, she's even hornier than normal so that's great.

After sex the other night, actually it's come up several times since her period ended, she finally came out and admitted that she would like to do it again; to fuck another man.

She was somewhat reluctant to admit it almost as if it's some sort of weakness but I told her last night that I am totally okay with it if that's what she wants. She went through a wide range of emotions, at one point bordering on tears, because a part of her is still resisting this as if it means she's bad or dirty or, as she put , she's not the good catholic girl she was raised to be. I just kept up my steadfast support for her professing how much I love her and how much her infidelity turns me on.

Last night after a particularly satisfying session in bed she turned to me and just said that she did want it and that if I was truly okay with it she asked for my help.

I very calmly asked her if there was anyone she had her eye on or was thinking about - and that led to the whole discussion about whether we should look for a friend, co-worker, acquaintance or just an anonymous guy.

We both agreed that it wasn't something we just wanted to jump into but she also made a point to say that she did want to do it again and sooner than later. She even admitted that it had really turned her on and she recognized in herself what I'd known since seeing her that Friday when she first came home, that fucking another guy DID turn her on and did definitely heighten her sexual desires. She then said that while she still felt excited by it that she didn't feel as much though now 2+ weeks later.

*******

Even before foreplay last night we talked about this. She slid over next to me and was rubbing her pussy against my hip with one leg over me. I told her again how it turned me on that she'd fucked another guy. I asked her if she'd given it any more thought on who her next partner might be. I asked her if she wanted to check online again.

We'd done an internet posting a few years ago and I'd met a bunch of guys myself to try to screen them. I did find one guy who things almost worked out with too but in the end either Suzanna would freeze up at the possibility or the one other time that we came close, the guy just never showed up and stopped answering emails.

Anyway, after I reminded her of going down that route she admitted she hadn’t really liked doing that. I asked her what she didn't like and she just said that she'd much rather it somehow came from her.

I sensed that she'd given this some thought so I asked her more. She basically said that she'd simply like to keep her eyes open from now on and if she felt turned on or attracted to a guy like she did when she was away that she wanted it to start that way and not with her having to decide if she liked someone who replied to an ad or something like that. Basically she wants to be the one pick the guy and in her own fashion

I guess I don't blame her. I mean while I'd probably enjoy the search, I guess it would be weird if it were the other way around and she brought a woman home and said, "honey, you're going to fuck her tonight". I mean I guess I'd prefer there was a little desire somehow in there and I definitely sense that she wants that instead of a cold meeting in a bar with another guy.

So, that's where we are. She definitely wants it and I get the feeling she may want to act on this so I think I'm just going to give her the space she wants and see what happens. Tonight our kids are taken care of and we're going out to dinner and then to a bar where there's some music and dancing. I'm not saying anything but I am hoping that she'll want to maybe test the waters a bit.

Regarding a younger guy. That all sounds great - but let’s just get her to fuck another guy first, then we can work on getting a more "ideal" person for her. I confess I have many desires and I’m hoping she'll want to explore some of them over time, but I too, to be honest, would rather we start slowly and comfortably. It's warm tonight, we'll take our mini-van and I'll make sure she knows she can have fun if she likes.

*******

Last night was quite fun. It's nice with the kids now being old enough to be on their own whenever we want to.

There's this nice club not far from where we live where on Saturday nights they have some decent local bands. Last night was no exception and we had a lot of fun getting buzzed and dancing to the better songs.

I didn't want to push anything but at one point I asked her if anyone in here caught her eye. She gave me that guilty giggle and said there were a few who she thought had possibilities. She wouldn't tell me which ones but when I started pointing to guys I thought were her type she said she'd tell me if I picked the right guy. We'd done this a few times before when we're out on the nude beach but this was the first time where it could have been for real and it just felt very different.

I pointed to some guys that I thought she'd surely be hot for but only got a maybe out of one of them. I had pointed to mostly younger guys and she finally said ‘maybe’ when I picked an older guy, more our age.

I hadn't seen this side of her before. I just looked at her for a second as I'd never considered an older guy as being her choice but apparently it was. I pointed to two different older guys made obvious by their somewhat receding hairlines and the visible gray hair. When she smiled big at the second guy, at least it made me feel good for he was very much my size and build and overall appearance. I smiled back and said that whole, "what, what are you thinking?" thing and tried to figure out how to ask her if that's what turned her on. I said something about not knowing she preferred older guys. She did that giggle again and I knew she'd taken it okay when she just said, "well, if I get my choice, then yes".

I stood there for a second and then I asked her, "You never told me about Grant; what he looked like or how old he was." She then told me that he was definitely in his mid-50's and then she leaned in and whispered in my ear, "that's part of the fun for me honey, with an older man I get to feel young and horny again!”

Holy crap did my cock jump at that and she knew that I'd have that reaction to the sexy way she said it in my ear!

At that moment, I felt a change in us, not a bad thing but that this was much more out in the open for us; that she wasn't that scared anymore to play about with it with us. For the next 30 or so minutes she pointed out various guys who she thought were hot. The youngest were our age and she'd actually pointed to one or two guys who I'd surely would thought to be far too old for her.

Up until then I'd always had this image of some young stud enjoying her. Now I had to rethink that maybe about it being an older guy but a shift for me. Still, looking around and thinking about myself I'm sure any of us ‘old guys’ would give her a thorough workout if she just gave the word.

The rest of the evening passed without much excitement. She'd had her fun and had gotten both of us riled up with her innuendo's she'd have about the guys who she'd pointed to; just her way of having fun.

It was interesting to see her choices at the bar vs. the guys she pointed to at the nude beach. There she'd definitely had a preference for the bigger more well endowed guys even pointing to several black guys walking by at one time. I'd never really noticed that most of them were also older guys too; I'd never thought about that part, when she'd point to guys at the beach, my only thoughts would usually go to how they'd look together and how she'd enjoy him but now I started to see what types turned her on and what made her curious.

On the ride home she went further than I expected her to. She just came out and said, "you looked surprised at the guys that got me hot?”

I nearly missed a turn at the surprise of her openness. I told her that she was really surprising me and that it was very much a turn-on. I also told her that I totally understood her motivation and then I told her that most guys would prefer younger women because it gave them the feeling of still having-it for a younger woman. She laughed and said, “... they'd better watch out then!”

I didn't reply to that and after a moment she just changed the subject to something non-sexual. Still, I heard what she'd said. I didn't want to ask anything then but it's something I won't forget. My mind has been racing since then at what she meant and I have to say I'm enjoying the thoughts.

To finish out the evening, after saying goodnight to our son who was up much too late watching something on TV, we went upstairs. Suzanna was horny - VERY horny - enough that she was the aggressive one, that's for sure!

During foreplay I asked her if she knew any of the guys she'd pointed to earlier. Damn if she didn't get all roused up. She went right along and said she thought one of them was Carl and that she thought he was a bartender somewhere that we'd been and she remembered he'd talked to her. I played along and asked her if she'd have let him get her a drink and she said yes. I asked her if she'd have danced with him if he'd asked. She hugged me as I had my hands all over her and said quietly, "yes" in my ear.

I knew her pussy would be wet by the time I got there and no surprise - she was really getting into it. As I slid my fingers in I asked her if she'd let Carl do this to her. I felt her response as she let out a moan and then said "yes". In the past she'd never go this far - when she'd go along with this dialogue stuff she'd just never let herself go and really cum, but she was so close this time that I knew she'd let it go. Without letting go of my fingers dancing in her pussy and on her clit, I slid around and as quickly as I could, I pulled my fingers out and I slid my stiff cock right into her and as I did it I just said, "Carl couldn't wait any more, he had to have you".

It just felt so right at that moment and damn it was, she let go like a geyser, screaming and bucking against me, drenching us as she just let go like I've only seen her do just a few times. I can't even describe how it felt - it was like she was just one big orgasm, her head tilted back firmly into the pillow, her arms clutching at the bed one second and then flailing all over the next. Her legs pulling me in around my butt deeper into her to pushing down on the bed to push her body up into mine as hard as she could.

Finally I could feel her body just start to relax and then I felt her pull me closer. Damn she was soaked and I had yet to cum. I pushed back and she pulled her knees back for me and said, "your turn honey".

Oh god, I let my mind go at that moment. She was so open and so wet that I just let go and I swear I felt my cock grow even bigger with the thoughts that she felt like this from thinking about another guy. And damn if she didn't play along. She knew I was just about there and she pulled me down and said in a mock little-girl voice, "Oh Carl, you’re making such a mess in me, aren’t you?”

At that I lost it and let go with everything I had. I felt every muscle in my body tighten and let loose with what felt like the biggest load of cum I'd ever had. It was like one huge, totally draining squirt followed by the most intense feelings I'd ever had with her.

Whew, was all I could say afterwards and she gave me that guilty giggle again that I'll never forget. She got up and walked gingerly to the bathroom and it was a bit of a turn-on to see her standing there getting the washcloth warm knowing she'd just been fucked and knowing how it felt between us.

I didn't ask anything at all about Carl after that, as a matter of fact, we didn't even really talk about anything other than just going to bed. Damn if I didn't sleep really well last night!

******

I just had an interesting discussion with Suzanna about something that I suspect we'll be discussing more later. What she shared with me was that there IS someone she'd like to consider. I was kind of floored by that. She closed the bedroom door (the kids were around) and asked me again if I'm serious about all of this.

I was caught a bit off guard but after a second I said, "yeah, absolutely, if you are, that is....”

She was quiet for a second, maybe reconsidering what she was going to say, but then just came out and said, "There is someone who I might consider".

I had to say, "And?" to get her to move on because, again, I don't think she's all there yet. But after a second she did say that there's a guy at work who she'd always considered to be a nice guy but this week she's had a different vibe about him.

I asked her who he was and she said, "Peter, you met him at the company picnic last year, remember?”

I had to think back and she said, "about your build, gray hair, glasses, he had a moustache at the time...".

I did remember him, we'd actually talked a bit; he was a nice guy. "But he's married?" I reminded her when I thought back to the conversations we'd had last year, we'd discussed a trip that we were taking and he said he'd done a similar drive with his own family.

She proceeded to tell me that he's a nice guy and had always been sort of flirting with her at work whenever they saw each other. I remembered then that they didn't work together, just for the same company, different divisions. She added that she thought that maybe one day she'd give in to his flirting and see what happened?

I gave her my opinion which is that it might be better to find someone she didn't work with but at the same time I also acknowledged that this wasn't easy for her and that if she felt good with Peter, then maybe they should just see what happens. I asked her when she thought there would be an opportunity and she said she didn't know but that with spring and summer almost upon us, that people she worked with generally started going out for drinks after work and stuff like that.

I'm a bit scared to rock the boat right now. I mean I don't think it's a good idea for her to be with someone she works with; the old proverb about not messing where you sleep but on the other hand, 20 years ago it was no big deal to be messing around at work so that may be what she's thinking. I'm going to talk to her more later. I want to hear more about Peter and whether he's the type to shoot his mouth off and stuff like that.

To be honest, I'd like her to get one ‘Under her belt’ so to speak, just fuck another guy again once and then we can move ahead more clearly. I'm scared that if I shoot this Peter down in any way that she might be reluctant to go further. Does that make any sense? I'm like almost 10 years into trying to get her into this and I'm so close; I just don't want to mess things up.

I’m excited that she came to me with the suggestion so-much-so that I've freaking huge hard-on just thinking about it; it means she's thinking about it seriously. Somehow the knowledge that my shy little wife wants another guy in her pussy is just a wild turn-on for me! I love knowing she's sexually wanting. She's known I've been a horn-dog for a long time; I wonder if she is aware that I’m now beginning to see that side of her?

What a ride. Who would have thought that this stuff can even start at this age! Just proves that one should never let go of your dreams and to never lose hope. I just hope it stays under control if it gets started. Saying that, it’s a risk that I'd gladly accept at this point.

******

Need to start a new book ....

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