Have you thought about getting the man to treat you like a bitch instead? My husband who is normally dominant loves that as well and because I am not usually the dominant one I get uncomfortable doing the humiliating. However if the man takes charge of both of you then you and your wife might both enjoy the experience. Her role with the new guy would remain similar and If she can see how much you like it she may warm up a little. I don't get turned on by him dressing up or acting like a bitch but I sure do by seeing the results. I often find that when the guy leaves he is hornier than ever and he usually ends up ripping my clothing as soon as the guy leaves.