A little humor

[cindyy]

>The slowest buffalo
>
>
>A herd of buffalo can move only as fast as the slowest buffalo. When the herd is hunted,
>it is the slowest and weakest ones at the back that are killed first. This natural selection
>is good for the whole herd as a whole, because the general speed and health of the whole
>group keeps improving by regular culling of the weakest members.
>
>
>In much the same way, the human brain can only operate as fast as the slowest brain cells.
>Excessive intake of alcohl we all know, kills brain cells, but naturally it attacts the slowest
>and weakest brain cells first. In this way, regular consumption of beer eliminates the >weaker cells, making the brain a faster and more efficient machine.
>
>
>That's why you always feel smarter after a few beers.

 

[cindyy]

Damn Taxes

A little boy wanted $100.00 very badly and prayed for weeks,
but nothing happened.

Then he decided to write God a letter requesting the $100.00.

When the postal authorities received the letter to God, USA: they
decided to send it to the President.

The President was so amused that he instructed his secretary to
send the little boy a $5.00 bill.

The President thought this would appear to be a lot of money to the
little boy.

The little boy was delighted with the $5.00 bill and sat down to write
a thank-you note to God, which read:

Dear God; Thank you very much for sending the money.However, I noticed
that for some reason you sent it throught Washington, DC., and those
assholes deducted $95.00 in taxes.

 

[cindyy]

Feel free to Add yours

Add your's if you have one, nothing better than making someone SMILE,

 

[cindyy]

Henry Ford

Henry Ford dies and goes to heaven.At the gates, ST. Peter greets Ford,
and tells him," Well you've been such a good guy, and your
invention...the assembly line for automobles..changed the world. As a
reward, you can hang out with anyone in Heaven you want."

Ford thinks about it, and says, "I want to hang out with God Himself."
So, the befuddled St. Peter takes Ford to the Throne Room, and introduces
him to God.

Ford then asks God, "When you invented Woman, what were you thinking?"
God asks,"What do you mean?" "well," says Ford, "you have some major
design flaws in your invention,"

1. There's too much front end protusion.
2. It chatters way too much at high speeds.
3. Maintenance is extremely high.
4. It constantly needs repainting & refinishing.
5. It's out of commission at leats 5 or 6 of every 28 days.
7. The intake is placed to close to the exhaust.
8. The headlights are usually too small.
9. Fuel comumption is outrageous, just to name a few."

"Hmmmmm...." replies God, "Hold on a minute."
God goes to the Celestial Supercomputer, types in a few keystrokes,
and waits for the results. In no time the computer prints out a report,
and God read it. God then turns to Ford and says, "It may be that my
invention is flawed, but according to these statistics, more men are
riding my invention than yours!"

 

[cindyy]

How to use you tax rebate..

As you may have heard the Bush Administration says each and every one of us will get a nice rebate.

If we spend that money at Wal-Mart, all the money will go to China.
If we spend it on gasoline it will all go to the Arabs.
If we purchase a computer it will all go to India.
If we purchase fruit and vegetables it will all go to Mexico, Honduras, and Guatemala.
If we purchase a good car it will all go to Japan.
If we purchase useless crap it will all go to Taiwan and none of it will help the
American econmy.

We need to keep that money here in America, so the only way to keep that
money here at home is to buy prostitutes and beer, since those are the only
businesses still in the US.

 

[incher]

As you may have heard the Bush Administration says each and every one of us will get a nice rebate.

If we spend that money at Wal-Mart, all the money will go to China.
If we spend it on gasoline it will all go to the Arabs.
If we purchase a computer it will all go to India.
If we purchase fruit and vegetables it will all go to Mexico, Honduras, and Guatemala.
If we purchase a good car it will all go to Japan.
If we purchase useless crap it will all go to Taiwan and none of it will help the
American econmy.

We need to keep that money here in America, so the only way to keep that
money here at home is to buy prostitutes and beer, since those are the only
businesses still in the US.

AMEN to that

 

[mark2619]

Nice one Cindy nice to see a sense of humor in this forum.

 

[cindyy]

thank you, there doesn't seem to be much humor here. In a year less than 500 people read it.