alot of guys are clueless in talking to a woman

[cdlola]

my wife (and i sometimes with her) have been chatting online with men for almost 2 months now and ive noticed something most men have no idea how to talk to a woman, she knows im ok with her talking about anything with them weather im there of the few times im not .....she has found a few that she really likes talking to that turn her on quite a bit but they dont live very close to us (one wants to come and visit her though soon so im keeping my fingers crossed, and he has a surprise for her that he said he would either tell her or show her tonight if she is on or tomorrow if no tonight) she is so willing to have fun with them but most simple have no idea what to say to her ,slot are assholes and pushy demanding her to do things to her self while others see her dressed slutty on cam and talk about things she has no interest in talking about like politics and such , i just dont get it lol ...i know sometimes i tend to run on but i just thought id share with u all

 

[Custer Laststand]

There's no need to "get it"...

Cdlola,

The purpose of your wife using her webcam to talk with other men online is (or should be) to find men who appeal to her and eliminate those who don't. She and you should simply assume, IMO, that only a small fraction of the men she "visually talks with" will appeal to her sexually.

Regarding:

My wife has found a few [webcam buddies] that she really likes talking with, who turn her on quite a bit, but they dont live very close to us. One wants to come and visit her soon, though, so I'm keeping my fingers crossed. He said he has a surprise for her; he will either tell her or show her tonight if she's "on" with her webcam, or tomorrow if not tonight.

It sounds like your wife has found a man who appeals to her AND considers it feasible to come see her (so to speak). Have you encouraged her to take him up on his offer to show her a "surprise," as a demonstration of her interest in him...? Then feign great pleasure...? (If your wife does not respond well to his "surprise," that will be a downer for him and could, conceivably, cause him to abandon his plans for a visit.)

My wife is willing to have fun with her webcam buddies, but most simply have no idea what to say to her. Many are pushy assholes who demand she do things to herself, while others see her dressed slutty on cam but talk about things she has no interest in like politics and such. I just don't get it.

There's no need to "get it." Your wife should simply write such men off as men she has no interest in. She can consider it analogous to being in a public place... say, a supermarket or an airport... and asking herself whether she would like to become sexually involved with each man who walks past her or she sees nearby. The answer would be "yes," I would guess (note low-rent poetry), in only a fairly small percentage of cases.

—Custer

 

[cdlola]

thanks

thanks again custer and mac
as for her surprise custer she didnt get to find out what it was tonight her friend she likes to chat with wasent online ,but she started also talking about another guy who she talked to a few nights ago who also asked if he could come down here to fuck her and there is 1 other guy but he hasent been online that past few days that she kinda likes as well so hopefully something works itself out eventually
i also found out something interesting recently ,she has a friend on facebook who she always told me was the brother of one of her ex's, i noticed that every comment she posts he writes something on it except for 2 that mentioned me they were something like "i had fun with my husband today watching a movie" he never comments those but every other single comment he has ,is there something maybe there between them? maybe a secret past? could he be a potential future lover for her?

 

[Custer Laststand]

.... Is there something maybe there between them? Maybe a secret past? Could he be a potential future lover for her?

You'll have to ask your wife.

 

[babydoll4u]

Based purely on the massive amout of fan mail I get Cdlola is completely correct. When it involves a face to face situation it's even worse than the mail I'm sent.

Men in general are utterly clueless about women, and how to comunicate to them in anything beyond "hey baby let's shag" or any number of even simpler variations. A perfect example is how many men take photo's of what then have in their jeans and use it as a profile photo or their introduction photo.

Guy's here's a clue... Most women are turned off by that. Yes, we eventually want to know what you have, but not in those first few crucial moments while we decide if you have a chance to get in our knickers. Trust me, a simple "corporate" style photo is the very best kind to use.

Additionally the "one liner" type note's or the "I'm to lazy to come meet you" style ones dont work with women either. Just because a woman is a hotwife or even a seasoned cuckoldress doesn't mean that she will be willing to put up with a chump or a slacker.

 

[Custer Laststand]

Thanks, Ms. Babydoll... those are very good words of advice.

 

[babydoll4u]

Thank's Custer,

I've been writing about this sort of thing for years. The saddest thing is a lot of men with read my column and STILL do those things...

 

[cdlola]

thanks

thanks for your post babydoll, you summed up exactly what i was trying to say with my first post

 

[babydoll4u]

I've learned a whole lot of thing's Cdlola that I didn't know about when I started dating men after my transition into a female. I've begun to really see, and experiance what women actually go through and are ****** to put up with when men are involved.

Don't misunderstand, I like men, I love to be taken to, but most guys have no idea how to go about getting from "A" to "B" so they miss out on a lot of chances to be with us.

I've written endlessly about it for years and it does'nt seem to help the boys get the girls. It's sad really, the instruction manual is right there and most guys will adamantly refuse to pick it up.

 

[cdlola]

yes i agree ,watching my wife talk to dozens of men i noticed that they would probally have a good chance with her if they just knew how to talk to her properly ,it is interesting seeing how other men act with a woman they are trying to get with i actually find it very interesting seeing how they are with her and how she reacts to them

 

[babydoll4u]

That's the thing Cdlola, most men get far to nervous or act like utter fools when they are trying to pick me up. It's the same thing with my wife/girlfriend when she meets a guy.

I was talking to one guy and gave him multiple opportunities to meet both of us seperately and together and he was always "to busy" to come meet us. He always had an excuse but kept saying how badly he wanted us but just couldnt manage the effort to do it.

Another guy keeps sending me notes asking me when he is going to get his Blow Job. The problem is he is to damn lazy to get off his couch and come out to meet me somewhere. This idiot is completely unwilling to do anything to get what he want's.

I could go on forever and detail a thousand more that are just like the ones I have already mentioned. Most guys are just to thick headed to not only listen to what we girls say but more importantly to hear what we say.

 

[Custer Laststand]

Hi Ms. Babydoll,

Thank's Custer,

You're welcome.

I've been writing about this sort of thing for years. The saddest thing is, a lot of men will read my column and STILL do those things...

Key insight may be provided by your use of the word, "read." A whole lot of people don't read much of anything. In decades past, only something like 15% of the population subscribed to a newspaper of any kind (according to my wife, who was a newspaper reporter many years ago). Now, I would guess, the percentage is even less. There are many people, whom you would think would want to be well-informed, who do not have a single book let alone bookshelf visible anywhere in their home.

Another relevant factor may be that most people aren't interested in "advice" that may or actually does pertain to them. Rather, they do things in accordance with how they see their friends doing things, which can be thought of as "peer influence." (For a man vis-a-vis women, that can result in ignorance to the nth power where "n" is the number of his friends.) Or, a man uses his father as a model for how he should relate to women, which isn't much better and, often, is even worse.

Guy's, here's a clue... Most women are turned off by [an introduction consisting of a photo of your cock]. Yes, we eventually want to know what you have, but not in those first few crucial moments while we decide if you have a chance to get in our knickers. Trust me, a simple "corporate" style photo is the very best kind to use.

Another clue would be trying to imagine whether one, as a man, would be able to decide whether one wanted to meet a given woman based on a photo of her pussy. A decision would be... well... difficult. Most likely, one would conclude she had little or no pride in her face, the shape of her body or her taste in clothing.

I've learned a whole lot of things, Cdlola, that I didn't know about when I started dating men after my transition to a female.

Ah... I didn't realize you were an erstwhile man. (Maybe you said that in one of your posts, but I missed it.) That would seem to make you uniquely qualified to comment on the "problem of men making favorable impressions on women" (or not).

I've begun to really see, and experiance what women actually go through and are ****** to put up with when men are involved.

Really... you must find it an eye-opening experience...

Don't misunderstand, I like men, I love to be "taken" too, but most guys have no idea how to go about getting from "A" to "B" so they miss out on a lot of chances to be with us.

Sigh...

I've written endlessly about it for years and it doesn't seem to help the boys get the girls. It's sad really, the instruction manual is right there and most guys will adamantly refuse to pick it up.

See comments above re. the unfortunate necessities of "reading" and perceiving that "advice" might even pertain to oneself.

I gather, from your use of the word "knickers," you are located in the UK. (The... um, hm, let's see, how to say this... "Americanese" version of that would be "panties.") Are you a more-or-less well-known advice columnist who follows this forum — among others, perhaps — to keep up on current trends...? Or are you interested in this forum for other reasons...?

—Custer

 

[babydoll4u]

Key insight may be provided by your use of the word, "read." A whole lot of people don't read much of anything. In decades past, only something like 15% of the population subscribed to a newspaper of any kind (according to my wife, who was a newspaper reporter many years ago). Now, I would guess, the percentage is even less. There are many people, whom you would think would want to be well-informed, who do not have a single book let alone bookshelf visible anywhere in their home.

I disagree, people read here, they read blogs, they still buy books, so it's less about the actual reading and more about actual comprehension of the material. As for the Newspaper, most are so one sided and full of errors it's no wonder few leep purchasing them.

Another relevant factor may be that most people aren't interested in "advice" that may or actually does pertain to them. Rather, they do things in accordance with how they see their friends doing things, which can be thought of as "peer influence." (For a man vis-a-vis women, that can result in ignorance to the nth power where "n" is the number of his friends.) Or, a man uses his father as a model for how he should relate to women, which isn't much better and, often, is even worse.

If that were true then there wouldn't be thousands of people reading this site and others like it. They wouldn't even need forums online. Just look at the number of post's here that start with "I'm new and need advice" or some variation of it. However, it is true that peer pressure, cultural influence, and family history play a part in the seduction game. The point is it doesn't need to be that way if someone really want's to improve.

Another clue would be trying to imagine whether one, as a man, would be able to decide whether one wanted to meet a given woman based on a photo of her pussy. A decision would be... well... difficult. Most likely, one would conclude she had little or no pride in her face, the shape of her body or her taste in clothing.

I agree, women doing that is just as bad. The difference is most men will jump just about any woman that makes the offfer to put out. It's not that way for men, so they have to play by different rules. Any woman can get dolled up, go to a bar, and have a man taking her home any time she wishes.

It's the complete oposite for men. Unless the man in question is an exceptionally smooth and a shrewd seducer of women then 99% of the time they will be going home alone.

Ah... I didn't realize you were an erstwhile man. (Maybe you said that in one of your posts, but I missed it.) That would seem to make you uniquely qualified to comment on the "problem of men making favorable impressions on women" (or not).

I wasn't ever a man, I just happened to unfortunately look like one for a period of my life. I also did mention it previously to ensure all parties concerned knew where the boundries were.

True, it does give me a very unique perspective which has more insight than others would have. It doesn't make me better or smarter just more in tune to what both sides have gone through.

Really... you must find it an eye-opening experience...

You have NO idea how much my eyes were opened as I have been on this path.

Sigh...

Ditto....

I gather, from your use of the word "knickers," you are located in the UK. (The... um, hm, let's see, how to say this... "Americanese" version of that would be "panties.") Are you a more-or-less well-known advice columnist who follows this forum — among others, perhaps — to keep up on current trends...? Or are you interested in this forum for other reasons...?

No, I just spent some time there and picked up a lot more correct english than I had planned on. Yes, I'm extremely well know in the Dallas comunity, and rather well know in Great Briton too. I'm here for the very same reason others are as described in my initial post. Yes, I do follow this site though with interest which is my own, and a few select visitors.




.

 

[cdlola]

That's the thing Cdlola, most men get far to nervous or act like utter fools when they are trying to pick me up. It's the same thing with my wife/girlfriend when she meets a guy.

I was talking to one guy and gave him multiple opportunities to meet both of us seperately and together and he was always "to busy" to come meet us. He always had an excuse but kept saying how badly he wanted us but just couldnt manage the effort to do it.

Another guy keeps sending me notes asking me when he is going to get his Blow Job. The problem is he is to damn lazy to get off his couch and come out to meet me somewhere. This idiot is completely unwilling to do anything to get what he want's.

I could go on forever and detail a thousand more that are just like the ones I have already mentioned. Most guys are just to thick headed to not only listen to what we girls say but more importantly to hear what we say.

i find this same situation with one of the main guys she has been talking to (the same man who i mentioned several times in previous posts about him coming to visit us) he alwasy says how much he wants to come and fuck her brains out but everytime she really tries to talk to him about it in a serious manner be either says "oh its late i have to get going now" or something like that, i think my wife has gotten annoyed with his playing games or maybe its just his lazyness as u stated in your post ,it seems he would rather masterbate to a conversation and video of a woman rather than actuall get off his ass and come and do something about it for real,and its not just him there has been 2 others that she has talked to several times that she has started to get to know that did the same thing

 

[babydoll4u]

Well at least you're not the only one Cdlola, my wife and I have the same exact problem.

Both of us are looking for a decent, dominant man to have a real relationship with and not just sex. The problem is most of the guys we chat with just lack the courage or whatever to go beyond a lot of bragadocious talk.

Trust me honey we girls really hate that stuff. I've had guys follow me around the bar all night long, practically stalking me, and then when it's closing time come up and expect me to put out! Granted I'm pretty hot, and so is my wife, but that kind of stuff is just plain cowardice.

I even put an add on craigs list literally offering myself completely to anyone who would show up. Out of the nearly a hundred emails telling me how they wanted to screw my brains out only ONE GUY showed up. Well I went home with him, and he got what everyone else couldn't get off their couch to do.

So the lesson is pretty obvious....

Most of the guys on these sites just talk the talk but sure can't walk the walk!

 

[cdlola]

i completely know where our coming from babydoll, right now we have decided to take a few day break (its also her time of the month which worked out nicely in timing lol) hopefully things will pick up better than they left off in a few days

 

[rural]

LOL. I even have problems about talking to my wife about cuckolding me.