Cuckold joke
- Thread startermsbevw
- Start date
A man had trouble getting it up. Finally his wife told him to see his doctor, and made an appointment for him.
His doctor gave him some sample blue pills, told him to take one whenever his wife wanted to fuck him, and wrote him a prescription.
The man thanked his doctor and, on his way out the door, decided he should try one of the pills — so, he took one.
While driving home, the man became erect. Unable to stand it any longer, he pulled off beside the highway, crawled underneath his pickup, pulled down his pants, closed his eyes and began masturbating.
Soon, a cop pulled up. It was a woman. Standing with her hands on her hips and looking down, she asked him what he was doing.
Now on the verge of cumming, the man continued masturbating vigorously with his eyes tightly closed. "I'm just checking the axle," he said.
"Well," the cop replied, "while you're down there you should check your brakes too, because your truck rolled away 5 minutes ago."
His doctor gave him some sample blue pills, told him to take one whenever his wife wanted to fuck him, and wrote him a prescription.
The man thanked his doctor and, on his way out the door, decided he should try one of the pills — so, he took one.
While driving home, the man became erect. Unable to stand it any longer, he pulled off beside the highway, crawled underneath his pickup, pulled down his pants, closed his eyes and began masturbating.
Soon, a cop pulled up. It was a woman. Standing with her hands on her hips and looking down, she asked him what he was doing.
Now on the verge of cumming, the man continued masturbating vigorously with his eyes tightly closed. "I'm just checking the axle," he said.
"Well," the cop replied, "while you're down there you should check your brakes too, because your truck rolled away 5 minutes ago."
While walking on a Mediterranean beach, a woman noticed a seemingly-ancient bottle projecting from the sand.
She dug it out, rubbed the sand off it, pulled the cork, and a gigantic terrifying genie emerged. Swaying in the sea breeze, he thanked her for releasing him from his prison and, as a reward, said he would grant her a wish.
"What?!" said the woman. "Only one wish?! I thought you genies granted THREE wishes!"
Looking slightly embarrassed, the genie explained that due to increased labor costs and competition from overseas, he had been ****** to scale back his wishes.
"Oh, I see..." said the woman, and — digging in her purse — extracted a map of the Middle East, and unfolded it before the genie. "I want you to make all these people stop fighting with each other," she said; "I want you to create peace in the Middle East."
The genie stroked his beard, deep in thought as he pondered this request. Finally, he said: "I'm afraid that's beyond my power, ma'am. Even we genies have some limitations. Please choose another wish."
The woman looked disappointed, but recovered quickly. She said: "I want an ideal husband. One who will help raise our children, do half the housework, not watch sports on TV every evening, not go out drinking with his buddies every weekend, and won't mind if I fuck another man from time to time."
Again the genie stroked his beard, deep in thought as he pondered this new request.
Finally, he said: "Hm.... let me see that map again."
She dug it out, rubbed the sand off it, pulled the cork, and a gigantic terrifying genie emerged. Swaying in the sea breeze, he thanked her for releasing him from his prison and, as a reward, said he would grant her a wish.
"What?!" said the woman. "Only one wish?! I thought you genies granted THREE wishes!"
Looking slightly embarrassed, the genie explained that due to increased labor costs and competition from overseas, he had been ****** to scale back his wishes.
"Oh, I see..." said the woman, and — digging in her purse — extracted a map of the Middle East, and unfolded it before the genie. "I want you to make all these people stop fighting with each other," she said; "I want you to create peace in the Middle East."
The genie stroked his beard, deep in thought as he pondered this request. Finally, he said: "I'm afraid that's beyond my power, ma'am. Even we genies have some limitations. Please choose another wish."
The woman looked disappointed, but recovered quickly. She said: "I want an ideal husband. One who will help raise our children, do half the housework, not watch sports on TV every evening, not go out drinking with his buddies every weekend, and won't mind if I fuck another man from time to time."
Again the genie stroked his beard, deep in thought as he pondered this new request.
Finally, he said: "Hm.... let me see that map again."
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Bill and John were talking one afternoon when Bill tells John, "Ya know, I'm ready for a vacation. Only this year I'm gonna do it a little different!
The last few years, I took your advice about where to go.
Three years ago you said to go to Hawaii. I went to Hawaii and Mary got pregnant.
Then two years ago, you told me to go to the Bahamas, and Mary got pregnant again.
Last year you suggested Tahiti and darn if Mary didn't get pregnant again."
John asks Bill, "So, what you gonna do this year that's different?"
Bill says, "This year I'm taking Mary with me."
The last few years, I took your advice about where to go.
Three years ago you said to go to Hawaii. I went to Hawaii and Mary got pregnant.
Then two years ago, you told me to go to the Bahamas, and Mary got pregnant again.
Last year you suggested Tahiti and darn if Mary didn't get pregnant again."
John asks Bill, "So, what you gonna do this year that's different?"
Bill says, "This year I'm taking Mary with me."
