Rewind two months ago.
My wife and I were camping and on a hike.
Suddenly, we stumbled upon friggin Bigfoot, I swear to God.
But he wasn’t wolfman-growling at us, he was just picking apples off a tree.
But he was big and hairy like in all the photographs.
My wife had a basket with her, and against my advice, walked up and handed it to him.
Bigfoot seemed puzzled at first, but my wife showed him that the basket was something he could store his apples in.
When Bigfoot had the basket nearly full, he ran off.
That night, in our tent, my wife said, “he’s a lot better looking than those pictures you see of him.”
I didn’t think much of it, until my “city girl” wife wanted to take a hike on her own the next day.
A few hours later, I went searching for her, and as I stumbled out of the tumble weed, I couldn’t believe what I saw…
This big hairy creature was sitting on a rock having sex with my wife. His sasquatch manhood had to be at least 12 inches.
When he saw me, behind the bush, he looked me in the eye and increased the pace, until I watched as Bigfoot came inside my wife.
Fortunately she didn’t get pregnant, and I never told her I saw her.
But here’s the kicker.
Last weekend, she told me she wants to vacation with my college-aged daughter the last week of August.
They’ve done that before, so I was like “sure, have a good time.”
But instead of going to Seattle, like originally planned, my wife’s taking my daughter to Yellowstone.
I know Bigfoot doesn’t make plans per se. And my wife doesn’t’ have a PH’D in interpreting grunting.
But apparently they communicated enough for her to let him f*ck her. And maybe he pointed to where he generally lives.
My worst fear as a husband and father, is learning that bigfoot knocked up both my wife and daughter.
My daughter is adventurous and slutty and influenced by my wife.
And with my wife, everything now is “bigfoot this” and “bigfoot that”, and how the press misunderstand him.
I guess my question for the group is:
A) do I let them go assuming they’ll never find Bigfoot again anyway
B) tell my wife that Yellowstone is out of the question & deal with her wrath
The last thing I want, as much as it turns me on in fantasy, is having two hairy babies nine months from now.
Any advice would be appreciated.
Regards,
Bob
My wife and I were camping and on a hike.
Suddenly, we stumbled upon friggin Bigfoot, I swear to God.
But he wasn’t wolfman-growling at us, he was just picking apples off a tree.
But he was big and hairy like in all the photographs.
My wife had a basket with her, and against my advice, walked up and handed it to him.
Bigfoot seemed puzzled at first, but my wife showed him that the basket was something he could store his apples in.
When Bigfoot had the basket nearly full, he ran off.
That night, in our tent, my wife said, “he’s a lot better looking than those pictures you see of him.”
I didn’t think much of it, until my “city girl” wife wanted to take a hike on her own the next day.
A few hours later, I went searching for her, and as I stumbled out of the tumble weed, I couldn’t believe what I saw…
This big hairy creature was sitting on a rock having sex with my wife. His sasquatch manhood had to be at least 12 inches.
When he saw me, behind the bush, he looked me in the eye and increased the pace, until I watched as Bigfoot came inside my wife.
Fortunately she didn’t get pregnant, and I never told her I saw her.
But here’s the kicker.
Last weekend, she told me she wants to vacation with my college-aged daughter the last week of August.
They’ve done that before, so I was like “sure, have a good time.”
But instead of going to Seattle, like originally planned, my wife’s taking my daughter to Yellowstone.
I know Bigfoot doesn’t make plans per se. And my wife doesn’t’ have a PH’D in interpreting grunting.
But apparently they communicated enough for her to let him f*ck her. And maybe he pointed to where he generally lives.
My worst fear as a husband and father, is learning that bigfoot knocked up both my wife and daughter.
My daughter is adventurous and slutty and influenced by my wife.
And with my wife, everything now is “bigfoot this” and “bigfoot that”, and how the press misunderstand him.
I guess my question for the group is:
A) do I let them go assuming they’ll never find Bigfoot again anyway
B) tell my wife that Yellowstone is out of the question & deal with her wrath
The last thing I want, as much as it turns me on in fantasy, is having two hairy babies nine months from now.
Any advice would be appreciated.
Regards,
Bob
