Depression

[AngleBaby]

This is something many people go through atleast for a period of their lives. It is likely there are people in cuckold relationships who also suffer from depression.
My question is, how is it handled?
How would any of the wives here respond to such a development in their husbands? Would they drop everything, including lovers, to help their husbands? Or would some of the wives not care that much if the husband is depressed or not? I would like to hear some wives answer this bit.
What about husbands? How would they respond, or how should they respond to their wives suffering from depression? Should they insist on taking a real break from the lifestyle so they can take care of their wives, or would they push them into the arms of their lovers so they can help her? I think Sarah will suggest something here. She is welcome to.
But, what if it is you who is depressed? What would you or should you expect from your husband/wife? If your wife made it clear your emotions and depression were secondary to her bull, how would/should you respond?
If your husband pushed you into the arms of your lovers instead of holding you, how would/should you respond?

 

[Susan's Slave]

A very serious set of questions. When Susan was first diagnosed with depression I had no clue there was anything wrong. It was her employer who gave her a referral to see a doctor.

When she came home in tears and told me I was flabbergasted! I still did not know what to do or say. Her friend practically moved in for a week to help her deal with the news.

I know I sound like a loser, but it is a very sneaky disease. The changes were slow and over time and I really thought everything was okay. Looking back, I believe that episode was brought on by breaking up with a long time lover, coupled with the stress of a new job! These days I know what to watch for, and I help her remember to take the medications. We can both tell if she misses a dose by how she is acting. She still is not fully recovered and has her bad days, but most of the time she is back to the loving Mistress I adore.

Note: Sex is a wonderful way to release endorphans that are blocked/missing during depressive bouts, all you got to do is convince her that she would enjoy it. I don't suggest starting with "come on hon, a good fucking will get you out of your nasty mood!"

 

[AngleBaby]

So you continued the life style uninterupted?
I would like to hear the details of happened relationship wise around that time. It would be interesting to read. Sometimes, sex isn't what one wnats to hear most about.

 

[rickyny73]

Your spouse should always come first. Sex with the bull, or anything with the bull should always come secondary. The relationship with the bull should be limited to casual sexual encounters. There sould be no emotional envolement with the bull. If one of you is doing something that is causing the other to go into depression, then it needs to stop. If you love your wife and she loves you, you will always put eachother first. If she is putting her bull first then your marriage is in big trouble. This experience should be completely sexual and nothing else. Her heart should always be yours.

 

[Puller]

Depression does not normally have a source in the usual "mental illnesses" group. It is usually caused by an imbalence of chemicals in the body, producing mood swings, sometimes very nasty ones.

Once I had that firmly embedded in my mind, I found that it made me angry being reduced to low levels by a damn hormone or chemical, and this helped me to overcome it. Now, when I feel it coming on, I am able to divert from the woe and concentrate on remembering it is not real, not an emotion with any validity, just as if I had taken meds to produce the effect.

This seems to help me get around it and mitigate its effects without resorting to more meds.

 

[Melo-Jenny]

Although I am not active in the lifestyle, my husband will always come first. If and when we decide to take out fantasy to the next step, we will always be looking out for eachother's physical and mental well being. The bull is just someone with whom you have sex with, you spouse is the person who you love and chose to spend the rest of your life with. If I am doing something that is affecting my hubby's mental health, I will definately stop and look after hubby. Bulls will come and go but your spouse is in it with you for the long run.

 

[Susan's Slave]

AngleBaby, back to your starting post I missed the question about what if you are depressed and your wife puts you second to her bull. My answer would be that it is time to separate from your wife while you deal with your depression issues and while she determines what her priorities will be. I imagine that she may feel strongly attached to her bull because he is not depressed and brings some joy into her life. I do not say this harshly, but as the commercial says, depression hurts everyone and spouses feel the depression deeply when it infects their "other half."

As to my relationship with Susan, her depression, and cuckolding, I have posted bits and pieces over time. It would take up too much time and space to post it all. The short version is that it is a second marriage for both of us. My first wife cucked me shortly after we married (we had lived together first) with an ex-boyfriend. This was without my knowledge. However, I had been attracted to the idea long before after reading about it in Penthouse Letters. Susan's first husband had been a real jerk but she stayed with him for a long time before saving herself.

I had talked with Susan about cuckolding many times as a bedroom fantasy. She was, as most wives are, strongly resistant to it at first. Overtime, she began to participate in the fantasy and over time (a long, long time) she asked questions, teased, and got me to agree that if she wanted to have sex with others she did not need to tell me, or allow me to participate in any way.

Fast forward, several years to when she went to work for a new company. Apparently sparks flew during the interview, which lasted over an hour, and she was hired. It was not long before eye contact and teasing led to touching, which led to long lunches, late nights at work, working weekends, etc. I suspected but never came out and asked. During this time Susan and I had made the decision to have a child (she had a son with her first and didn't want another - I did). I later found out that she was using a condom with her lover, but some accidents did happen.

She became pregnant, her boss/lover starting having some serious health issues and went on permanent disability and she was assigned to a new position out of her comfort level with a jerk for a boss. The affair continued sporadically throughout the pregnancy and after for a while. We have a beautiful daughter who is now almost eighteen.

It turns out that she became pregnant while we were on a vacation in Tahoe, My wife is one of those women who knows when they conceive, which was confirmed by almost immediate morning sickness for the rest of the trip! She did later share with me that when she conceived she was fantasizing about being with her lover. My daughter's baby pictures look almost identical to my baby pictures so I'm pretty sure she is mine, but sometimes I like to fantasize... Eventually I did get her to admit to the affair and I have never had a problem with it.

Susan has had one other relationship since then, and nothing for quite a while. She still teases occasionally and who knows, the old rule still applies!

Now, as to her depression? It could have been post-partum, loss of relationship, stress over job, or all the above. I think her being a child of an alcoholic factors heavily.

Mac, exercise and diet are important but in Susan's case they were a result of, not a cause of the depression. It took a lot of time to nail down the correct medication and dose but once we did it has worked very well.

Puller, I commend you for being able to stay off medication but you must have a stronger will than most people do. White knuckling is not a good strategy for most people.

Jenny and Ricky, you are both correct that the spouse should come first. However, sometimes it is hard to see that when you are in the middle of the struggle. Like I said earlier, depression is sneaky and it hurts everyone. Walls go up and defenses are build before you truly understand what is attacking you!

So, the

 

[hotwifeapril]

My husband has had depression/thoughts of suicide since he was little. Until recently we have dealt with this and have tried all types of medicine. His depression didn't affect our sex life just everyday life, as he had thoughts of suicide several times daily and thank god never acted on them. We found this past year that when he drank and energy drinks he didn't have the feelings or they just weren't as great as they were before. We looked at the major ingredients and found he was B different. So he has been on B-Complex for quite awhile now with no depression or thoughts of suicide and more energetic and more wanting to further our sexual lifestyle.

 

[Troilusand]

Mac, I'm still waiting to read a post where I disagree with you. May the gods damn the M.D.s who roll pills to treat symptoms, instead of treating the diseases.

Anyway, sorry Angle, can't relate specifically to your depression question, but me wife and me are "best friends" and devoted to the other's well-being. I come 1st, and her lover comes a close 2nd--but still 2nd. Funny, but if you spell it differently, HE cums 1st, and I cum 2nd. LOL

T.