Does Cuckolding Always Have To Be Mean-spirited In Nature?

[TabithaPerv]

Warning: Newbie, not to sure how to put this forward, so I'll just gush.

I'm trying to get an idea of how actual cuckold couples regards each other when they are active (and open) in the lifestyle, all while I'm looking/reading into how this lifestyle "operates" and the protocols. I'd love to try this out, as I think it would help me get over my general fear/anxiety of pursuing sex and intimacy from black men (long story).

Even though I'm a tad addicted to it as of late, I know cuckold porn is a -terrible- way to learn about the lifestyle and actual playtime (tying to find a source of REAL experiences to learn from and get motivated by), but just about 95% of all I see involves the hotwife and/or bull either being very cruel or mean to the cuckold (either aggressively or passively), humiliated against his will, and other bad shit. The most I can tolerate is Yogahotwife, but since she's a porn star I'm assuming she's acting and not actually cuckolding someone (if she is, please correct me).

I'm not a mean person in the least bit and never want to hurt someone emotionally. If I had a guy by my side that allowed me to seek out black men then I'd be constantly expressing how thankful, appreciative and respectful of the freedom he would give me, and verbally do so constantly to reassure him that I'm not trying to take advantage of his consideration, despite being in a committed relationship and having sex with other people. I have yet to see any media that has that though. =/ Furthermore, I can't picture having sex in the same room as someone that's looking/feeling pathetic/emasculated.

In short....does wanting not to be a mean/cruel/emotionally abusive hotwife sort of put me out of the cuckolding spectrum? Seems like the kind of relationship I'd want with a cuckold is not the type most cuckolds would want, and I don't want to waste anyone's time trying to pursue if thats the case.

Thanks for reading, hope this is enough info. :3

 

[Nazareth]

I'll offer my two cents worth...
"Cuckolding" has as many different definitions as it does people involved in the lifestyle, and runs from one end of the spectrum to another.
There are those that believe how they define being a cuck or a cuckold lifestyle is the only correct one, and those who believe otherwise aren't "true" cuckolds. And within whatever lifestyle they follow, there is another spectrum that runs from one extreme to another.
It's not that much different (if at all) than "regular" couples; there are those that get off on BDSM, those that get off on pee play, those that get off on exhibitionism, and then the people who look at these and wonder how in the world can that be sexually exciting/satisfying.
For those that want to label themselves as a cuckold or a cuckold couple, there are people that get off on the humiliation aspects, those that want to seek gangbangs, those that want to be exclusive to black men only.....you get the idea.
My advice? Go with what works for YOU and your partner, and don't give one second of thought if people would consider you being a "true" cuckold. I'm willing to bet there are thousands of couples that want to enjoy a cuckold lifestyle that doesn't involve pain, humiliation, abuse, or anything else you may consider unpleasant.

 

[TabithaPerv]

I'll offer my two cents worth...
"Cuckolding" has as many different definitions as it does people involved in the lifestyle, and runs from one end of the spectrum to another.
There are those that believe how they define being a cuck or a cuckold lifestyle is the only correct one, and those who believe otherwise aren't "true" cuckolds. And within whatever lifestyle they follow, there is another spectrum that runs from one extreme to another.
It's not that much different (if at all) than "regular" couples; there are those that get off on BDSM, those that get off on pee play, those that get off on exhibitionism, and then the people who look at these and wonder how in the world can that be sexually exciting/satisfying.
For those that want to label themselves as a cuckold or a cuckold couple, there are people that get off on the humiliation aspects, those that want to seek gangbangs, those that want to be exclusive to black men only.....you get the idea.
My advice? Go with what works for YOU and your partner, and don't give one second of thought if people would consider you being a "true" cuckold. I'm willing to bet there are thousands of couples that want to enjoy a cuckold lifestyle that doesn't involve pain, humiliation, abuse, or anything else you may consider unpleasant.

Thank you for your response, that puts things more into perspective for me. I thought there was"one try way" of practicing it (again, porn), but if theres a wide spectrum then all I need to do is find the right people that are on the same page or willing to work toward it for our mutual enjoyment. Feeling much better about pursuing this now.

 

[babagee]

^^ what Nazareth said - enjoy what suits you and your partner
Happy days

 

[Custer Laststand]

Hi Ms. TabithaPerv,

Welcome to the forum! Re.:

If I had a guy by my side that allowed me to seek out black men.....

Why do you need a (presumably white) guy by your side to allow you to seek out black men? If that is your desire, why not seek out black men on your own?

Alternatively, if you're a white married woman or are in a live-together-relationship (LTR) with a white man, but you desire a black lover, I suggest forging ahead and finding one. It would probably be easier to gradually bring your husband (/LTR partner) to acceptance of your desire for a black lover if you already have one than if you try to bring him around with hypothetical conversations. I.e., you could use it as the basis of teasing and supposedly-pretend cuckolding games.

Re.:

In short....does wanting not to be a mean/cruel/emotionally abusive hotwife sort of put me out of the cuckolding spectrum?

No, no.... of course not. You can be any kind and flavor of hotwife you like.

Seems like the kind of relationship I'd want with a cuckold is not the type most cuckolds would want, and I don't want to waste anyone's time trying to pursue [it] if thats the case.

There is no standard kind of "cuckold husband / hotwife marriage" desired by men who want their wives to increase their sexual and psychological satisfaction by taking lovers, be they black, brown, white, or otherwise, after they're married.

Please keep in mind that the definition of a cuckold is short and simple. It is, cuckold: a man with an unfaithful wife. Beyond that — assuming you want to take black men as lovers, such that your husband is your cuckold — the kind of marital relationship you have with your husband should be whatever the two of you find most satisfying.

Thus, I urge you to refrain from getting hung up over what is or is not "conventional." Rather, I encourage you to pursue your inner erotic desires.

Good luck!

—Custer