Emotional Attachment

[tmw1966]

My wife has beena hot wife for about 18 months now, she has had 3 lovers so far. she has been seeing the last one for about 10 months now, and she has developed an emotional attachment to him. It was expected from the beginning and we had talked about it. I Am very comfortable and secure with that and understand that he is more like a good friends with benefits, she likes being with him, but if she has to choose she will choose me.

Recently her friend started seeing another woman on a steady basis, she doesn't know about our arrangement, but we have met her as friends of him. Initially he promised my wife that he would tell the new woman about him and my wife but he chickened out. My wife is not happy about being the other woman, and now she doesn't see him as often as she likes, and she has been miserable and of course that affected our relationship as well. I have talked to both of them about ending their relationship and moving on and they both believe they could make it work.

The worst thing, my wife had told me that if her relationship with him ended she will not seek any other guys.

Have any of you guys ran into this before, how did you handle it? I am very supportive of my wife and care about her feelings, she is a very emotional person and doesn't care much about change, but I think she should move on.

 

[tmw1966]

Thanks Mac.

"She says IF she loses him, she'll quit seeking out other men, and to that I say Bull ... yeah, she'll be sad and withdrawn a while, but eventually another stud in shining armor, with a nice bulge, will show up and she'll forget all about this guy."

I fully agree with you, i just hope that some how she can separate sex and emotions (which she had told me she couldn't). The HW-Bull relationship is short lived by nature unless he is a swinger or in a open marriage. And as much as I want her to find someone else i wish we don't go through this emotional drama again.

 

[Saraha]

She has had three lovers so far, and this rough patch will "pass". Just give it time, and she will work through the issues at a speed she can handle. Tell your wife about the emotional benefits you have received from knowing that she is out on dates having some hot sexual fun with horny men.

 

[Dorsetcuck]

Excellent advice from Mac and Saraha. During my 21 year cuckold marriage my wife has had numerous bulls and lovers. She has been bull bred 4 times, with my consent and encouragement, by different guys. She has developed emotional attachments with 3 of them and at the time I found it extremely exciting to be humiliated in such a way.
However she needs the freedom of being a cuckoldress and can't be devoted or committed to one man. Your wife if she's tasted that freedom will almost certainly agree.

 

[Hank jones]

Like any relationship it will take time for her to get over the breakup. You job as her loving husband and cuck is to be her rock. In the 11 yrs 'we' have been playing we have taken breaks several times. I say we cause she quit playing but I kept looking, and chatting. Then when she was ready to play again with someone else I already had one lined up for her.
Just be the best husband and cuck you can. Give her time to grieve the lost of a lover.
But once in a while point out the cute guy in the store, or on tv. She will come back to it when she is ready, and you too.
-Hank

 

[tmw1966]

Thank you all for the valuable advice.

Saraha,
Although she has had three lovers, she was always looking for the emotional attachment. Guy #1; took off once he felt it was more than just sex. Guy #2; lasted 1 date, they didn't click and she wouldn't see him again.

I wish she just becomes like the other hot wives who just fuck for fun and don't care about that emotional BS.

we finally had sex for the first time in 3 weeks, so that was a positive change. She went out with him on Friday night and although they didn't have sex but it was good opportunity for them to discuss the matter. I am hoping that she will eventually lose interest and move on.

 

[Saraha]

Even prostitutes sometimes fall in love with a client. Mostly, they can take the money and say, "next". But now and again, a guy touches them in a certain way, and they can't stop thinking that this guy is so special.

Any man who thinks a wife can allow other men to give her POWERFUL ORGASMS and not form some attachment to him, is wishing that rabbits won't eat carrots in his garden if they are short of food.

Cuckoldresses can fall in love with lots of men, and sometimes the emotions grow to fever pitch - but like waves on a sea, there is a falling back of intensity after awhile, so a wife can "regroup" and see things in a new perspective.

I think it is a good thing if wives fall in love with their lovers, because then they feel like single women acting young and getting all the sex they would be getting if they were not married.

If a husband continues to be an excellent husband, and gives his wife space and gentle encouragement, his marriage should be secure. She can have the best of both worlds, and also change her lovers from time to time, and have the fun of continuing reaching out to see if she can get the zips open on more and more guy's pants as the years roll by.

A wife who gets notches on her bed post is likely to look back and say that her sexual desires have been well and truly met - and it all happened because her hubby put her needs, her hopes and dreams ahead of his own.........he did that because his love for her was not CONDITIONAL ON BEHAVING A CERTAIN WAY.

Marriage is "for better or for worse". Divorce means one spouse did not want it to be worse, so actually told lies at the wedding when agreeing that it could be better or for worse.

If you promise "for better or for worse", you are locked into the marriage, even if your wife fucks 867 men. It is BREACH OF PROMISE if you head for divorce.

Before you make promises, make sure your word is your bond, and you will stick to your promise no matter what happens. The Engagement is a time when you should check your spouse's background out to see if you are properly sure you won't chuck the marriage when things go terribly wrong.

 

[smallwhite]

My wife has likewise been seeing others for 15 + yrs, and she too has built an emotional attachement with several. It is difficult when they break up, but as several others have stated, she will take some time to heal and then be ready for another relationship. She will have a better idea of the type of man she needs next time.

 

[duke9555]

History is replete with stories of ladies
leaving their husbands boyfriends fiancées
for a hot hunky lover ........not a shock to this
observer

 

[tmw1966]

Saraha,
Thanks for your thoughtfull input, I agree with everything you said, and I will wait for her wounds to heal and we move on. I just wish there was something i could do to make her feel better; i wish she listens to me and moves on NOW.

 

[Saraha]

History is replete with stories of ladies
leaving their husbands boyfriends fiancées
for a hot hunky lover ........not a shock to this
observer

If hubby is prepared to be patient, then she may find that "marriage" to her amazing boyfriend may not be as rosy as she hoped it would be in a 24/7/365 arrangement. Wifey needs to know she can go back to her husband, and he will forgive her for NEEDING TO TRY OUT ANOTHER MARRIAGE.

A new car can look amazing in a showroom, but after a few weeks, you might find odd oil leaks on the motor or bits of rust appearing where they shouldn't.

A naughty wife who finds out the grass is exciting and greener in small doses, may yet find contentment with her true husband, even though she may never give up her occasional adventures looking for the perfect man.

Vanilla sex can be boring once a filly has been encouraged by her hubby to enjoy a few extra cocks for fun and entertainment purposes.

 

[tmw1966]

Duke,
I agree with your comment, but that's not my concern, and I know my wife will never ever leave me, I just know it. I have known her longer than anyone else in my life. I don't want to sound like the naive cuckold, but i know she always wants to come home to my bed.

 

[Saraha]

Duke,
I agree with your comment, but that's not my concern, and I know my wife will never ever leave me, I just know it. I have known her longer than anyone else in my life. I don't want to sound like the naive cuckold, but i know she always wants to come home to my bed.

That must be an amazingly comforting feeling, that "she always wants to come home to my bed". She knows who pays the bills and keeps her toast buttered. She knows she can count on you, and that kind of elevates you to the status of being more important than her bulls.

A wife would have to be nuts to dump a great cucky like you - she can play the field and then come home to the REAL MAN that made it all possible.

Why would any wife want a MACHO HUSBAND who guards her buttocks 24/7, keeping her like a prisoner, instead of letting her strut her stuff and express her sexuality as a natural flow of her hidden secret desires contained in her dna?

In many respects a fully committed cuckold is worth his weight in gold.

 

[Saraha]

White women are taking things in their own hands, trying lesbian sex in their teens in record numbers, and raising the bar of what they want as adults. Even the traditional wedding vows are being set aside, and in their place the vows are now a contract of more reasonable promises that are much easier to keep.

 

[tmw1966]

Well said Saraha. My wife is totally out of my league, so I must be doing something right to stay married to her for 19 happy years.

She once told me her current boyfriend was more like a rockstar or a movie star, every girl and woman has one that she idols, but that doesn't mean they will leave their hubbies for those Rockstars.

 

[Saraha]

As long as it does not feel like you have been in jail for 19 yrs. But she obviously needs you in her life, and you could yet log up 50 years.

 

[tmw1966]

Thanks Saraha, I hope so to. The physical relationship between her and her now ex-boyfriend has ended, they still talk on the phone every now and then. She still misses him but is coping. We are on a break from the hot wife activity, but hopefully won't last for long.

 

[vergatuga]

vergatuga