Sounds like your wife is on her way....
rickyny73 said:
.... Normally my wife and I go out together, but this time I decided to let her go alone.
That's very cool.... you let your wife know she can go out and have fun without you, and that's OK. That's very progressive.
rickyny73 said:
I knew one of the people that was going to be there was her old flame from college who now works with her friend.
Awright....
rickyny73 said:
My wife and I have talked and fantasized about her being with someone else for years, and I took this as the perfect opportunity. I knew for sure he would try a move on her if he saw her there without me.
Sounds like a good judgment. In that situation, most married men would be sure to accompany their wives in order to engage in "mate guarding" behavior.
rickyny73 said:
I told my wife to go for it if she had the chance, and I re-assured her that this is what I really wanted.
Cool....
rickyny73 said:
When she left for the party I stayed home, cleaned the house spotless and even had a dozen roses and gold bracelet I had ordered waiting for her on the table.
Excellent! That was a clear message you strongly approved of your wife going out and having fun with her friends, regardless of the nature of her fun. By cleaning your house and giving her gifts you rewarded her (in effect) for going out on her own. You're a good man....
rickyny73 said:
Around 11:30pm reality started to set in, what if she actually was having sex with someone else? I started to get neverous and jealous but also very aroused. I wanted to call her but I resisted. I wanted it to happen but at the same time I didn't. I was about to flip and go crazy when she finally walked in the door at 1am.
That happens.... but I hope you didn't let on that that you were upset. That could have gone a long way toward reversing the "permission and approval" message you otherwise gave her.
rickyny73 said:
She was surprised to see the roses and the bracelet. She gave me a long kiss....
Very nice. She was telling you she greatly appreciated the freedom you gave her and your implied trust in her.
rickyny73 said:
....and before she could say anything I bombarded her with questions. Did she?
It may have been better to play it cool, and say some things like "I hope you fully enjoyed yourself this evening....", rather than lay a lot of questions on her which may have conveyed anxiety on your part.
rickyny73 said:
Both to my relief and disappointment she didn't do anything. He was there and he did hit on her all night....
That's good. In doing so, her "old flame" clearly let her know he still finds her very attractive.
rickyny73 said:
....she flirted back and danced with him, but that was as far as she went.
That too was very good, actually. It was a large step forward for your wife to dance and flirt with her old flame "all night" in front of other women she knows. This strongly implies she's comfortable with her sexuality and not afraid to display it to him, in full view of her woman friends. Her flirtatious behavior, I would say, indicates she was thinking about the possibility of going farther and was giving her "old flame" the message there might be a possibility of that (in the future). Remember the definition. "Flirting: the art of causing someone to think sexual intercourse is a possibility."
rickyny73 said:
That night she teased me with make believe stories of her in a gangbang with every guy at the party.
Excellent! Your wife's willingness to tease you about her "hypothetically" having wild sex with *many* other men means she's definitely thinking about it, and also suggests she has a good imagination. Visualizing it and openly telling you about her fantasy is a step toward doing it.
rickyny73 said:
I guess I am blessed with a loving and faithful wife.
She loves you; that's a strong plus. As for being faithful.... you've set her on a path she will definitely continue thinking about, in the back of her mind. At some point when she decides on a suitable lover-in-waiting, infidelity (and your approval of her infidelity) will move to a front burner. If her "old flame" keeps in touch, it sounds like he may be the one.
rickyny73 said:
Why is it that men who want their wives to be with other men have faithful wives, and men who want faithful wives have wives that cheat on them? It's an irony of life.
It ain't always that way. Women (generally speaking) aren't "action-oriented" in a "do it now" sense, as men tend to be. For something as serious as violating her wedding vows by taking a lover — which traditionally would result in her husband (you) divorcing her — your wife will need sufficient time to satisfy herself that this really is something you want, and it will not result in you decompensating and leaving her.
rickyny73 said:
I just wanted to share my experience with the group.
Thanks. Yours is an interesting story.
rickyny73 said:
Maybe next time she'll go for it.
I think that's possible. If not, perhaps the time after that or the time after the time after that. Your wife appears to be on the right track, and your post suggests she has sufficient confidence in her sexuality and in her relationship with you to follow through. I suspect she won't do it recklessly, though.... rather, she'll need to feel she's identified the right lover-in-waiting and the situation is "OK." And that, of course, will also be desirable from your point of view.
Good luck to both of you!
