That's where I get confused as well. See I think it's asking for trouble as I mentioned above. The idea of someone seducing your woman I get... But by the same token, in the way you're going about it, it's risky at best. For you it's a bit of a game and a bit of a fantasy. For her, with no knowledge of this, it's real in the sense that she just may fall for him and leave you high and dry. What then? Fantasy over. Real life and being left with nothing just starting. Make her a full informed part and still it may be risky, but at least you have a better chance of her sticking around to continue to fulfillthe fantasy, and heck maybe even fulfill a few of her own. In that sense you're doing it together and nurturing your relationship. In the other sense it may be a one shot deal and she's gone. I could never risk someone actually taking my wife away and leaving me with nothing but the memory of a singular event that I could have prevented. I'd give up the fantasy long before I gave up my wife.