Help with the wife's Libido

  • Thread starterhotwifeclw
  • Start date
H

hotwifeclw

Not quite a lurker
Beloved Member
Jun 30, 2009
55
1
8
Wifey has been cucking me for a couple years now. The situation that has always been an issue for us is he lower than average libido.

She currently has her bull living in our mother in law suite here at the house. Occasionally on weekends he makes a move on her and they/we have an exciting night, she thoroughly enjoys his 10.5 inch cock. On some occasions he does the initiating and on others she does. The problem is that she rarely gets horny, ie: every other week or two. Is there a nutritional supplement that she can use to be a lot more; lets say horny? She would go get him on some mornings and more regularly but she just told me that she rarely feels horny until they start making out so if she could find a natural supplement that she could take that would help her she would. Any ideas folks.
 
Has your wife ever had her testosterone levels checked? It has the same labido stiflings effects on women as it does men. Can be determined by a simple blood test but it has to be requested.
 
We have not. Would that make a difference?
 
Wife's libido

Depends on her age and hormonal status. Is she pre, or post menopausal?
Testosterone injections would be the Doctor's recommendation, but may not be desirable long term.
There are testosterone creams for women, that are not really testosterone, but formula's that encourage testosterone production in her system that can be found in Vitamin stores.
Irwin Naturals makes a product called "steel Libido for women" that can be bought on line <http://www.google.com/products/catalog?client=safari&rls=en&q=irwin+naturals&oe=UTF-8&um=1&ie=UTF-8&tbm=shop&cid=16849077141947630045&sa=X&ei=5Q03TozJOcfUgAf0xJ2sDg&ved=0CJkBEPMCMAU#ps-sellers> or in some vitamin stores. These are worth trying before going to testosterone injections.
Cheers, Harry
 
We would definitely lean more toward natural remedies such as vitamins before we considered testosterone. She is 36 and pre-menopausal so she still should have a pretty active libido. She actually lost it completely after our first child. By the third she pretty much stopped wanting sex even though she was gracious enough to allow me about once a week.

She was allowed to explore her sexuality with other men a few years ago and has taken advantage of it with several men after her girlfriend who is a friend of mine also told her that she didn't know how lucky she was to have a hubby that would love to see her enjoy other men. She jumped in and went for it and loves her freedom but we are both frustrated that she only has sexual desire after a quite a bit of coaxing even by the bull she loves to play with. She would love to just think about sex and get wet but she doesn't. She does have frequent orgasms with both him and I when she gets laid but again she doesn't usually seek nor desire sex unless either of us tease the hell out of her.
 
I'm glad you like the 'natural approach' to health issues, That helps a lot. There may be some considerations you haven't thought of, prehaps thats why you are here, lol. You didn't mention if there is any form of 'birth control' in use. This could be a emotional factor since she may not want more children. Also the fact that the children are there can affect her mental willingness to be available.
With 3 children, a husband and a lover living in the guest house, you have a busy household, and if the wife is working too, it gets more complicated. At 35 with three children, sex once a week or 10 days is about normal in western society. Her lover living practically 'in the home' would be just like having two husbands after a year or so, because the excitement of a 'new lover' has worn off. It would be good, I think for you, actually all of you, to download and read the following link: <http://www.womensinfidelity.com/download.html> Although it's about Why women cheat, which don't apply here, the writer gets right into the reasons that women's sexual desire declines after a year or two with the same man (or in your case, men)
Also I would advise looking up and reading the posts of 'SoonTo Be' currently titled 'Thursdays again' on this site. The interplay between STB and his wife Sue is the best example for this lifestyle working that you can find on this site.
I hope this will help. Marriages do have 'up's and downs', but by intention, the three of you can make it exciting again.
Cheers, Harry
 
Funny Joke, loved it. Also she got "fixed" after our third child so no chance of pregnancy here. She likes the fact that she gets full of cum with no worries. As do I. As far as the other articles, thank you, I will read those today and figure it out. Thanks for the input, very much appreciated.
 
You are welcome! Glad to be able to help.
Cheers, Harry
 
Harry, Woman's Infidelity was an excellent read. I think it hit the nail on the head in a lot of ways. I think without realizing it she condoned and justified open marriage even though she tried to discount the fact toward the end of the story. The reality is how can we deny the fact that women as gatherers of male seed and have need of more than one partner could ever be happy in a long term monogamous relationship. I do know women such as my wife require regular extramarital seed and at the same time has strong jealousy regarding the primary relationship, so a lot of what she wrote is correct but women are specifically designed for a relationship that she has more than one partner but the primary male has access to only her.

It is interesting that when my wife was with her lover the other night they decided to put on a show for me on the couch while I was sitting there and for some reason out of character for me I got angry with her. I'm pretty positive that it was because she will do a lot more for and with him than she would ever do in bed with me. Later that evening in bed she specifically told me that I was not allowed a lover and that no matter what I said or did I was to only experience her pussy for the rest of my life. She also said in no uncertain terms that her pussy was hers to allow whoever she wanted to have it. She also said that her lover can have other girlfriends but she still feels a little jealous sharing him but my cock was hers exclusively. I find that very interesting but also somehow a turn on. I just wish she had a stronger sex drive. I have ordered the natural remedy you guys mentioned earlier so lets see how that works.

In the meantime I have been going through many reconstructive surgeries from an auto accident years ago and spend a lot of time in the hospital. She is frustrated that her boy toy that lives in our house doesn't use the opportunity to fuck the hell out of her. She won't approach him on it for some reason, any advice?
 
Hotwifeclw: Concerning her not approaching her 'lover', or you for that matter, is also covered in the Woman's infidelity article. It is a common fact, one that I also observe in my wife, that she does not want to be 'thought of' as a "SLUT". It is somewhat of a 'travesty' that she can have a lover with whom she can be free and open to explore all kinds of sexual play and adventure, including openly showing her 'desire', but when with her husband, she is uncomfortable doing the same things. It's OK to be "slutty" with the boyfriend, but not with her husband. In your case, remember, the Boyfriend virtually lives in the home, so after a period of tine he will be treated as her "other husband". So the same attitude will apply to him. Therefore, She will not actively seek out sex with him, but expect him to pursue her.
With her having a "low Libido", her body knows she needs to be "enticed" and "warmed up" to be ready. She expects to be "romanced" by her lover, (or by you, for that matter) I think that if she were 'going out to see a lover, outside the home, her process of "getting turned-on" would begin as she was getting ready to 'go out' and by the time they 'got together' she would be "wet and excited" for the affair. We read this 'played out' in many of the letters on this site, and I know it to be a reality in my own experiences.
Cheers, Harry
 
I can't agree with you more. Before she met this lover she would seek out guys at clubs and would spend all evening getting ready to go out. Knowing that she would be able to bring someone home she was horny as hell when she was getting ready and wouldn't allow me to even touch her.

I would love to see her lose her inhibitions about feeling like a "bad Girl" I know I try to praise her efforts to seduce either him or me but she still doesn't get it. I am actually considering having her read that book or rewriting it as a cuckold story with the facts but as a description as to why I wanted her to have other lovers to begin with. Somehow I knew that women needed "strange" especially in their early to mid 30's mainly because of my extensive sexual experience with women of that demographic when I was in my late teens, early 20's. It was an almost natural move to allow her other lovers. It took me a few years and one of her girlfriends to get her to take the plunge. I remember crying when I saw her having sex with one of her lovers because she acted the same with him that she did when we were early in our relationship and I longed for that so much that I almost jeopardized the entire relationship and her comfort with other men.

I lied to her the other night when she asked me "don't you feel jealous with me fucking other guys?" I told her no but the reality i believe is that not only do I feel jealous I feel betrayed by the fact that she is doing with her lovers the things that I have longed for her to do with me for years. The same things she did early on in our relationship. The longing and sexual aggression that she had with me she now has with her lovers. I am old hat. Like a meal that she is used to having and is very familiar with. We still have good sex and she still orgasms most of the time but she still is very clear by her behavior that I am in the way of her getting what she really wants. Having sex with me is more dutiful than something she seeks out. Sometime when she hasn't had him for a while she will get a bit aggressive with me but more to get an orgasm that she needs even though it is very clear when she cums she is disappointed by the lower level orgasm she has with me compared to her other lover.

I do like that when she has sex with him she automatically comes to me for sex, I think it is her way of securing her position as wife with me and taking ownership of my cock even though she really could care less to fuck me, especially if he would fuck her more often, If he did it more often I would end up getting to have her more because she likes tagging me after she is done with him and she especially loves to sit on my face and make me eat her pussy. It really gets her off making me do that. I never thought she would do that but she loves it and usually has a very intense orgasm when she does. I never thought I would see the day. Again I think it is an ownership thing with her. I don't think she would even fuck me after her meetings with him. I think she only does it so she can feel comfortable with the idea that I am approving her and him or maybe it's just her taking ownership. I'm not sure. Maybe she is just doing it to give me a treat for letting her play not realizing that I really don't have a choice. I think I will leave that part alone since I still want her to fuck me after her interludes.
 
My wife has periodically suffered from low libido as well. One thing that really helped is that as a condition for her being allowed to play with other men she had to agree to not say no to him, that is, whenever he wants to initiate she needs to be (or act) eager to receive him. This gives the bull confidence to approach her whenever he feels the urge.
 
Women's iInfidelity

Hey! I'm glad to read your reply. Looks like you picked up a lot of things that explain her behavior. I did too when I read it. It explained my current wife's attitude, (she doesn't have a lover, but if you search my threads, you will find where she had a 'near affair' which, after we talked it over, added a renewed interest to our sex life and marriage.)
It also explained my first wife's affairs and helped me to believe she had more than I had thought.
After that marriage ended, (I was 42 at the time) I met and dated about 9 women, in 6 years, That were mostly always close in age to 35. These women were always ready to 'jump in the sack' with me and about 4 of them wanted a 'long term relationship'. So I conclude that that age is when they want and need sexual companionship. Several of those I met were recently divorced.
My current wife was 46 when we met and 16 years divorced. I had her in bed within a few days too, but waited a year to get married.
Cheers, Harry
 
I really appreciate the support and insight from all of you. I really believe that she has really fallen for this guy but because of her loyalty to me is afraid to really express herself, not to mention the fear that if he knew her true feelings he would reject her. I on the other hand feel that fostering relationships with more than one person is a good thing. I am poly by nature and thoroughly believe that we can give love to more than one person as long as we are open and honest with each other. I can do the same but like I said before that is not an option as she is still not secure enough to not feel jealous with me which I suppose is part of the whole "hotwife" experience. This isn't just a kink for me, it is a lifestyle decision i made when I was younger and watched my parents marriage destroyed by not sex but deceitfulness on the part of my father and that fact that he got caught not the act of sex itself was the reason mom threw him out. I really believe that if people were honest with each other especially with their sexuality it would reduce the divorce rate dramatically.

Granted, I have had a rough 5 years and to my wife's credit she has stood beside me even though she has had a very good excuse to want to leave she hasn't and has been there with me through thick and thin. One day someone was praising her about how great of a woman she was for standing by me through all my surgeries and her response was "he had to be worth sticking by for me to be willing to do so" I thought that was a tremendous compliment to our relationship previous to my accident. I think sometimes she feels that the reason that I give her the freedom that i do is the fact that I am grateful to her for standing by me through all of this but the reality is that in my mind I was avoiding the inevitable destruction of our marriage had I not. I had already seen the lack of interest she had with me and realized that it was only a matter of time before she would think the grass is greener somewhere else, even though in reality she knows that down the road she would be in the same boat and disillusioned in some other marriage with some other guy. I saw that potential and took evasive action. It took me several years to sell myself on being ok being a cuck especially since I had already experienced the pain of that happening in a couple other relationships earlier on in life. I sold myself on the idea that sharing her with someone else would be ok. I'm glad I did because it has healed our relationship and marriage in so many ways.

I know we were heading for a train wreck. I would berate her for ignoring me and her lack of desire when the reality was that she needed and longed for sex with someone else and she didn't even realize it at the time. Or maybe she did and would never admit it. As a result of me letting go and just loving her without judgement she has become more sexual and attentive with me. Not quite where I would like it to be but at the same time who am I to complain since I have a breathtakingly beautiful wife that loves me and calls me her best friend in the world and I still get the pleasure of making love to her even though it is usually only after she has been railed by her lover. Life could be worse. MY coma could have lasted for life rather than 6 weeks right? No I believe that it is my duty to pleasure her any way I can and help facilitate her pleasure even though I may not get to enjoy the same pleasure she gives others. That I believe is unconditional love folks.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Top Bottom
Back