How did you realize?

[SheDoesIt]

Interested to hear from the guys here on two questions that interest me (and please post words not pictures):

1. How did you realize that you wanted to see your wife with other men... what was the trigger or realization?
2. For those who go black, where did that trigger or realization start?

I’m trying to uncover/unravel my own starting points here and it’s hard; so interested to hear from others!

Jimbo

 

[Donnierules]

For me it was when I heard about one of the black guys at work fucking one of the girls at work. Apparently, he was very large and made her cry while fucking her. been hooked ever since

 

[donaldelliott11]

Trigger for me was even before marriage, when she told me innocently, not intending to hurt my feelings, that I had a small cock compared to what she was used to. From that moment on imagination constantly played dirty movies in my head of her getting railed by monsters...

 

[shinohouse]

Difficult to say. A condition from her was, that she still wants to make out with her FWB which I acccepted. It doesn't turned me on at that time but I accepted it. Also she was very flirty and danced with other men, what didn't bothered me.
But I believe this event changed it all. A coworker of my wife was always flirting with her and she liked the attention. I hated this guy, don't know why exactely, I just didn't like him.
My wife flirted back and when they were doing overtime alone, she were sitting on his lap and so on. I told her to stop it with him but she didn't want.
Also at a night out he was also in the same club. When I went to the toilet, she went dancing very sexy with him... Somehow I was angry but excited at the same time.
Nevertheless, after a month or so, my wife and I had a difficult time and argued much. During this time she went out alone without me with him. Some years later, I've found photos of her and him cuddling and kissing. The emotions were very intense, incredible... Something like pain and strong excitement and I wish there were more photos or even a video...

 

[SheDoesIt]

Difficult to say. A condition from her was, that she still wants to make out with her FWB which I acccepted. It doesn't turned me on at that time but I accepted it. Also she was very flirty and danced with other men, what didn't bothered me.
But I believe this event changed it all. A coworker of my wife was always flirting with her and she liked the attention. I hated this guy, don't know why exactely, I just didn't like him.
My wife flirted back and when they were doing overtime alone, she were sitting on his lap and so on. I told her to stop it with him but she didn't want.
Also at a night out he was also in the same club. When I went to the toilet, she went dancing very sexy with him... Somehow I was angry but excited at the same time.
Nevertheless, after a month or so, my wife and I had a difficult time and argued much. During this time she went out alone without me with him. Some years later, I've found photos of her and him cuddling and kissing. The emotions were very intense, incredible... Something like pain and strong excitement and I wish there were more photos or even a video...

Very interesting, I too ‘wish I would find such evidence’ but equally it makes me shake and feel hollow... but equally it makes my pulse race! Such conflict... but delicious!

 

[Jozyxt]

I am a wanna be. But here is how I realized I wanted it.

I had a GF in college. We were off and on for several years afterwards. She told me of a few instances where she did FMF and it really turned me on. Not her being with the woman, but with the guy. During one of the off times, she got married, which made her hotter to me. (Side story, she tried and failed to seduce me on the eve of their wedding.) I stayed friends and was at their house a few times. I enjoyed her being with him and not me when I was at their place. Knowing how much he would be enjoying fucking her and I would be going home alone. (I had a lot of confusion about those feelings at the time)

After they divorced, she and I got back together. Unfortunately, because it was a lousy marriage, she didn't want to talk about sex with her ex or listen to my stories of lusting after her even more while she was married.

After we broke up the last time we still had occasional sex, I knew she was fucking someone that I knew, because she wouldn't tell me who he was. It just made me hotter, knowing I was sharing her with some autonomous friend. There was still a great deal of strong emotions between us that once again resurfaced when we weren't seeing each other often. She left town and we started having phone sex, she would then let me tell her my fantasies of doing a MFM with her. She eventually invited me to visit and join her with a gay priest she was occasionally fucking. This is actually true.

Anyway I decided not to go as I wasn't sure I could handle the emotions. I am sure I can now, but my wife chooses monogamy.

 

[bobbyhotone2]

I became a cuckold when I caught my wife cheating on me. She told me she was having fun fucking other men, not just one man, and that she would divorce me if I did not accept and allow her to fuck anyone, anytime, anywhere she wanted, and she did not want to see any grumpy faces on me or complaints from me about her fucking other men. This was about 20 years ago. When I found out about other men fucking her I was very mad and told her she was a slut and to get out of my life. She said fine and left. Some time later I decided I wanted her back but she did not want to come back. She was having fun fucking this other guy, or maybe guys. It was humiliating for me to have to beg my slut wife to come back to me, when everyone knew my wife was a slut and fucking many men. Everyone knew I begged my slut wife to return to me and that I accepted that my wife would continue to fuck anyone, anyplace and anytime she wished without any restrictions or complaints from me. In the beginning it was very humiliating for me to watch my wife get ready to go fuck other men, often in front of our families and friends. Most of them were very mad at my wife for treating me like a beaten dog, which I was.
We got past this rough period by me learning to accept and eventually enjoy watching other men fuck my wife and watch my wife suck other mens cocks.

 

[Jaandaj]

I was always a little shy and self conscious. Met this wonderful girl from a different highschool. We dated till she was out of school then we married.
I had never felt I was really good at sex, and I knew I was just around average size. So we talked about her getting to experience bigger and better things. Everyone has their own reasons, but mine was to let her feel as good as she made me feel. I feel when you love someone u will put them before anything you want.
Six months after we wed was the first time.i held her head on my lap as she was fucked by a bigger longer lasting cock. There was a ton of mixed emotions. But I could tell she enjoyed it. And that's what pushed me to do it more.
It went on for a few years with this guy. Then slowed down. We were on different shifts and young kids so sex was rare. Yahoo chat rooms were hot and heavy so I used it for wanking time. Talked about alot with alot of different styles of people. It fueled everything.
The key was discussing things with her. Finding out that all the things I thought she would never do she was up for. But remember if u open that box u can never shut it

 

[SheDoesIt]

I have to say a big thank you guys, this has really helped me figure out my own realization... I was asked this same question and didn’t really have a good answer because I’d never really thought that hard about it!

For me I think this began as a ~14 year old boy finding a bunch of Polaroids of his (single) Mom getting fucked... pretty exciting stuff for a hormonal teenager. Then there was the realization that while I’m damned good at some things I’m not overly good at sex, average probably and some guys are better at it and better endowed and I want my wife to experience the same incredible pleasure she gIves me, like a gift I can share with her.

Then I think the formative moment was when I met my first wife, she was in a relationship already as was I and I knew she was getting fucked regularly by the other dude (sometimes shortly before me); those mental images drove me wild, jealousy turned to excitement and a illustration to know more about it, to complete the mental picture. I guess she was the same because later when I mentioned it she jumped in with both feet. We parted many years later for totally unrelated reasons... now married again I hope I can revisit this greatest pleasure with my 2nd wife. Understanding myself might help with that!

 

[willshe2]

1. Started by me asking about her previous lovers. She asked "are you really sure you want to know?" then told me all details about her past. Some of it was quite over whelming as she'd had more than cocks than I'd expected included some married lovers and one night stands, most of them bareback. My feelings were running high, mixture of jealousy and excitement but once I'd got latter under control I would ask her to repeat her adventures which she did as could see how excited it made me. After some time I told her I wanted to see her with another man. Once satisfied that this was not excuse for me to fuck other girls, she agreed to give it a try.

2. The decision for black guys was mutual; the contrast and taboo always turned me on and she too wanted to try as it was something new and loves the naughtiness of sex with black guys fully supported/encouraged by husband

 

[SheDoesIt]

Thanks Willshe! Yep you nailed another great trigger there, hearing about her past lovers, I too am fascinated and excited by that but it’s hard to get her to engage... you have renewed my vigor!

 

[msbevw]

When I was in high school my girlfriend went away for a month to church camp. When she came back she told me that she had met a guy there and she wanted to go out with him, but still keep me as her boyfriend. I was shocked by this but didn’t want to lose her, so I agreed.

I was at her house the day he came to pick her up for their date. It was really tough watching her nervously walking around the house waiting for him to show. I didn't understand why she wanted me there, and at the same time I wanted to be there.

When he showed up I could see immediately why she was interested in him. He was the attractive football quarterback type, very sure of himself. I was surprised when he gave her a kiss when he came in the door. Obviously, they had been more then a little friendly at camp. Her mother was also standing there watching the scene. I can only imagine what she must have thought about me. She told Gail to be home by 1:00am and the two of them left. I turned and looked at her mother, very embarrassed. She just smiled then turned and walked out of the room, never saying a word to me. With no one else there, I let myself out and drove off.

I knew where they were going for their date. The county fair was in town. So I went home and told my parents that I was going to the fair and would be home late. I wandered around the fair grounds looking for them. Within an hour I spotted them on one of the rides. I watched as they got off, holding hands, and having a great time. Then I watched them get on the Ferris Wheel. As the ride spun around, I could see them in the chair. Whenever the ride would stop, he would lean over and kiss Gail. I could tell that she was really enjoying it.

As luck would have it three of Gail's friends walked up to me. I could tell that they couldn't wait to see if I knew what Gail was doing. "Who’s the guy with Gail? Why isn't she with you? Did you break up?"

Those were tough questions to answer since I really didn't know. I stammered out a reply that she was out with a friend she had met at camp. The girls exchanged looks that told that they knew something strange was going on and that Gail had gotten the best of me. Just knowing that they knew increased my embarrassment three-fold. I couldn't look at them and heard their snickers and laughter as I walked away. How would I ever face them again after this?

I followed Gail and her friend Robert the rest of the night, watching the affection they shared grow, the multiple kisses and smiles. From a distance I watched him open and hold the car door for her, watched as she slid over to unlock his door, and stayed in the middle of the bench seat. He put his arm around her shoulders and she snuggled against him as they drove off. Part of me wanted to follow, to see if they stopped to park some place private, to see if she directed him to "our" parking spot in the woods a mile from her house. But I was defeated. I couldn't bear anymore. So I went home to bed, but not to sleep. Sleep never came that night as I rewound the scenes of their happiness over and over.

I called her the next day. She acted as though nothing had happened. She wouldn't tell me anything about their night but hinted that there might be other dates in the near future.

I know she continued to write to him (this was before email), he called her often, but because of the distance they soon drifted apart. She and I never really recovered from that. I was hurt but she didn't seem to care. We had been somewhat sexually active as teenagers, enjoying petting and making out. But we had never 'gone all the way'. After her date she started suggesting that we should now have sex. I reminded her how we had talked about not doing it until after high school. But obviously she had changed her mind. Though she never said so, I was pretty sure that she had had sex on her date, had tasted the forbidden fruit and now wanted more. My refusal led to our breakup a few weeks later. She started dating lots of guys, and got a reputation of being easy. And I, I started dating the girl that I would eventually marry. I never told her about Gail and the date. But I never forgot about it. That memory has led to my desire to be cuckolded and I have been able to get my wife involved in recent years.

By the way, I'm 56 now and still vividly remember those feeling I experience when I watched Gail drive off with her boyfriend. That's when I, in my mind, first became a cuckold.

 

[SheDoesIt]

That’s a great account msbevw, thank you. Funnily enough the ‘driving off’ point resonated with me from teenage years also... I now wonder if that’s where the seed was sown!

 

[ckc]

Seems like a lot of us started young, even though we didn't realize it was cuckolding. One of my gf's went out with HS senior,, jock, when we were suppose to be gf/bf. But he could drive then, I was about to get my license.We went to a movie another weekend, he showed up. She left with him, and when my parents came to pick us up. They saw her with him, My dad just smiled, then, on the way home mom asked why she left with him. I told her he was a friend from school. My dad said, when we got out of car at home, "she found someone better huh"? i was humiliated. But i jerked off that night.
then when i dated my wife to be, we refrained from sex, but she continued having sex with her old BF and surprisingly with an older friend of her Dads. We married young because after having sex the first time, she got pregnant. We married but within weeks something happened and no baby. A few moths after that, the older man came to see her, I was home by myself. He finally told me he was fucking her, and i was so mad, but somehow he got me to suck his dick, I never mentioned it to her, I was ashamed. After we moved for the job I got, we moved in apartment and found out nighbor girl was opnely dating other men while married, with a baby. Soon she was getting my wife to go out wiht her, Short story. I became like her husband, and it all came out about my wife.
I was hurt, we almost split up, but other girl and her cuck husband convinced me to try it. So I became a cuck. I was amazed at the fact she would have sex with her old bf on the same nights we would date. When she would tell me about sucking him it aroused me, She never sucked my dick.
I found out she had been sexually active since 14. She seduced her dad's friend. She had fucked other guys that i knew. The most suprising was that my brother had fucked her before i did. Then to find out my mother knew, lol.

 

[SheDoesIt]

CKC... yes seems that in many cases the seed is sown in our teens and often involves coping with what was initial hurtful infidelity (deliberate or due to circumstances). My current wife first had sex when she was 13 but didn’t follow up on it like yours did... still I’ll work on it!

 

[Jaandaj]

Seems like a lot of us started young, even though we didn't realize it was cuckolding. One of my gf's went out with HS senior,, jock, when we were suppose to be gf/bf. But he could drive then, I was about to get my license.We went to a movie another weekend, he showed up. She left with him, and when my parents came to pick us up. They saw her with him, My dad just smiled, then, on the way home mom asked why she left with him. I told her he was a friend from school. My dad said, when we got out of car at home, "she found someone better huh"? i was humiliated. But i jerked off that night.
then when i dated my wife to be, we refrained from sex, but she continued having sex with her old BF and surprisingly with an older friend of her Dads. We married young because after having sex the first time, she got pregnant. We married but within weeks something happened and no baby. A few moths after that, the older man came to see her, I was home by myself. He finally told me he was fucking her, and i was so mad, but somehow he got me to suck his dick, I never mentioned it to her, I was ashamed. After we moved for the job I got, we moved in apartment and found out nighbor girl was opnely dating other men while married, with a baby. Soon she was getting my wife to go out wiht her, Short story. I became like her husband, and it all came out about my wife.
I was hurt, we almost split up, but other girl and her cuck husband convinced me to try it. So I became a cuck. I was amazed at the fact she would have sex with her old bf on the same nights we would date. When she would tell me about sucking him it aroused me, She never sucked my dick.
I found out she had been sexually active since 14. She seduced her dad's friend. She had fucked other guys that i knew. The most suprising was that my brother had fucked her before i did. Then to find out my mother knew, lol.

Did ur brother fuck her when u were dating? Make you wonder what else ur mom knew!
Got to ask, how did u find out ur mother knew?

 

[ckc]

Yes, when we were dating. I went to store and left her and my brother at our house, didn't think much about it. When i got back, my mom had gotten home, an tried to keep me from going into house. She sent me back to store, and when i finally got home, my gf, mom and brother were sitting there talking. We were suppose to watch movie , but my gf was ready to go home, when i kissed her i tasted the tasted of cum, or dick, so she had sucked him. that night he told me he fucked her, and it was good. A month or so later, she told me my mom walked in on them but let them finish.
Bad thing was, i still had not had sex with her, beyond sucking her tits.

 

[Jaandaj]

Well it was nice of ur mom to let them finish. Sounds like mom had a kinky side too

 

[Jaandaj]

One has to wonder, did she watch after u left? I can't imagine not watching if I was her

 

[ckc]

One has to wonder, did she watch after u left? I can't imagine not watching if I was her

Oh wow. I have never thought of that. I never even thought of mom watching. But i did realize i was not mad at her, and that it turned me on knowing brother fucked my gf and she sucked his dick.