So here's the situation: I've been with my boyfriend (he's black, I'm white) for just over two months. I'm absolutely head over heels in love with him and I know he feels the same way about me. This is the first interracial relationship I've been in, though, so some of it is still a little new to me. In particular, I still need to figure out how to handle people when they react weird to finding out I'm with a black guy. For instance, about a week ago I was at the mall with my bf and a couple that I used to babysit for years ago walked up to me and we started talking. My bf walked up a minute later and I introduced him and the whole tone of the conversation just went completely downhill. Is there anything I can say in a situation like that to break that awkwardness? Maybe some kind of joke or something? Like I said, I'm really in love with this guy but I'm just worried the racial divide is going to put a strain on us. We've already had some old guy in a truck yell bad stuff at us and made me cry. I'm going to be tough for him, but I worry about how much longer he'll be willing to put up with that kind of BS. It really isn't fair to him, so I couldn't blame him. Thanks in advance for whatever advice you have.
How do you guys and girls handle this situation?
- Thread starteryour_gal_lauren
- Start date
I am Asian and I remember when I started dating my black boyfriend. He made jokes about the people, as opposed to them making some about us. But he told me from the beginning that it would be hard to be in an interracial relationship. We don't worry about what other people think and if someone looks at us oddly or whatever, he actually goes out of his way to grab my ass or kiss me or something. You cannot control other people, just yourself. As my boyfriend says, his job is to let the people on the fence see all the stereotypes are stupid and that not all black people fit into them (just like not all white people fit into the stereotypes about them) and he just lets the hardcore idiots be. Enjoy him and place less focus on others and you should be fine. Good luck! 
cpl4fun13 said:I am Asian and I remember when I started dating my black boyfriend. He made jokes about the people, as opposed to them making some about us. But he told me from the beginning that it would be hard to be in an interracial relationship. We don't worry about what other people think and if someone looks at us oddly or whatever, he actually goes out of his way to grab my ass or kiss me or something. You cannot control other people, just yourself. As my boyfriend says, his job is to let the people on the fence see all the stereotypes are stupid and that not all black people fit into them (just like not all white people fit into the stereotypes about them) and he just lets the hardcore idiots be. Enjoy him and place less focus on others and you should be fine. Good luck!
Great advice - anyone who is not your friend when they see you with him, wasn't your friend without him. You will lose some friends and probably gain some new ones. Be bold and as the poster above said enjoy him and forget about what others might think.
Thanks both of you for your replies. I agree that I really have no choice but to be tough about it. I don't care too much about what strangers think. I don't really care what the guy I mentioned in my first post thinks about me, it was just upsetting to me at the time because I'd never had a stranger talk to me like that. It's harder when it's people that I know are good people and know the same about me but seem off put by my relationship.
your_gal_lauren said:
Yeah, just introduce him as your gardner .... or as your "brother from another mother" ... =p Then when the laughing stops, just do a simple unrelated introduction like ... "Mr & Mrs Olson, this is Treyon ... Treyon, this is Mr & Mrs Olson that I use to babysit for" and let it go at that.
MacNfries said:
Shit why not just introduce him as "Toby the House Nigga"? Wtf is wrong with the world that two races cannot be together without having to make up some BS excuses about how it's "okay" because he's a gardener? If they don't like it then they can just deal with it. The awkwardness is never going to go away until you make it normal. You do that by pretending it's not awkward, and eventually everyone else will catch up.
Lauren, I have a simple philosophy about most things and people in general.
If they do not sign your checks, pay your bills or share your bed, their opinion and behavior does not really matter.
If people get upset when they see you two together, its their problem not yours. You are with a black man, you will learn to ignore a lot bullshit, believe me. Life is too short to let ignorance and bad attitudes of others rob you of its enjoyment.
If they do not sign your checks, pay your bills or share your bed, their opinion and behavior does not really matter.
If people get upset when they see you two together, its their problem not yours. You are with a black man, you will learn to ignore a lot bullshit, believe me. Life is too short to let ignorance and bad attitudes of others rob you of its enjoyment.
