how to get my g/f to open up about her black guys

[sdmike]

i am turning here for some advice, i just found out my g/f had 2 black guys and got pregnant from 1 of them, anyways she kept all this from me including some other partners she had.

well my main topic is her and what she did with the black guys. she won't really get into it. i asked her how many times with each guy and the one she got pregnant with did she use a condom and she said no, but i want more then that i want to know more in details so my question is how can i probe her to feed more info on what she was thinking and what was going on. she told me she was not into black guys but after finding this out she told me the reason why she was with them is because it was either them or hicks and she was not into hicks wither or not this is true thats what she told me.

i would like to find out if there is more then 2 that she did anything with. with that being said i turn to you ladies and gentlemen of the forum.

 

[balzac]

booze her up.

 

[sdmike]

she is a real light weight and that would not work, she just get a little dumb when drinking it does not take her much to get buzzed i have tried this before. and it did not work. i also tried whispering to her about other guys she knows to see if she will tell me anything when she is half asleep and nothing she is good at this stuff lol

booze her up.

 

[susan]

Just exactly why do you need to know about the actual physical things she has done or guys have done to her?? I mean, do you want her to embarrass herself while youre tugging on your chubbie or are you genuinely interested in improving your technique with her? I think you need to proove to her that you are seeking this information because youre actually interested in her as a person, not someone to help you get your nuts off with verbal stimulation. :whatever:

 

[Zagg]

Just exactly why do you need to know about the actual physical things she has done or guys have done to her?? I mean, do you want her to embarrass herself while youre tugging on your chubbie or are you genuinely interested in improving your technique with her? I think you need to proove to her that you are seeking this information because youre actually interested in her as a person, not someone to help you get your nuts off with verbal stimulation. :whatever:

That's great advice, Susan. Couples should be open with each other, but both parties should have caring, not selfish, motives.

 

[sdmike]

thank you for both adding some input into this, well to be honest i really would like to know because it gets me off. i am just interested in how she was with other men and when i heard some were black i was really interested in knowing more and more. Susan you were right about her being embarrassed about talking to me about it she does not want to even talk about it at all.
i am not really trying to improve on my techniques per say i am trying to get off about her experiences. which is correct, i am being selfish i guess you could say if i am asking and asking about it. I also agree with Zagg about being open. that's all i asked from day 1 is to be open and that was almost 3yrs ago and i just found out that she had way more partners then she told me. i got this news last week. so i am thinking what more is there.

tonight after she took a shower and she came into the room she asked me if i was ever going to go down on her now? knowing what i know, and if i was going to kiss her ever again. my answer was i figured you were not open from the start.

i then started to ask about the 2 black men and it went downhill from there. we had a real bad fight. since she was abused in the past by other men sometimes she feels it's happening again and she thinks i am doing something to hurt her. just being honest with everyone on here and giving the full story. she has ptsd and sometimes if i say something or move a certain way it could trigger it. so it's really hard for me some times because of this. well tonight it was triggered and it went to hell. so my best advice to myself is to lay off her and just be nice. i dont want to push someone to the edge. if things change i will post updates. in the mean time feel free to post. thank you for everyone's input so far.

That's great advice, Susan. Couples should be open with each other, but both parties should have caring, not selfish, motives.

Just exactly why do you need to know about the actual physical things she has done or guys have done to her?? I mean, do you want her to embarrass herself while youre tugging on your chubbie or are you genuinely interested in improving your technique with her? I think you need to proove to her that you are seeking this information because youre actually interested in her as a person, not someone to help you get your nuts off with verbal stimulation. :whatever:

 

[susan]

I come from a disfunctional family and was extremely promiscuous as a teen and older. My hubby and I grew up together and he knew all about my past when we got married but it still took a long time for me to open up to him totally because I was wary of his curiosity. I even had some "one night stands" early in our marriage he eventually found out about. We finally got to the point when we had some serious discussions and I realized how patient he was with me and tolerated my actions. I guess what Im trying to say sdmike, is that when I realized my hub was totally interested in me as Susan was I able to open up to him about my sexual "adventures" and my humble suggestion to you is you do the same for your Lady. Good grief man, kiss her and go down on her and hold her in your arms before worrying about some BBC's technique.

 

[sdmike]

Susan thank you for your advice and being so open. she has always said since day 1 that she has had a ruff life and was kicked out of the house early. i know i shouldnt worry about any of the black guys i should just put that on the back burner i think 1 day she will be able to tell me more about things when she feels the time is right.
personally i think i get to involved with what i want to hear and don't really put any thought into what she does not want to relive.

I come from a disfunctional family and was extremely promiscuous as a teen and older. My hubby and I grew up together and he knew all about my past when we got married but it still took a long time for me to open up to him totally because I was wary of his curiosity. I even had some "one night stands" early in our marriage he eventually found out about. We finally got to the point when we had some serious discussions and I realized how patient he was with me and tolerated my actions. I guess what Im trying to say sdmike, is that when I realized my hub was totally interested in me as Susan was I able to open up to him about my sexual "adventures" and my humble suggestion to you is you do the same for your Lady. Good grief man, kiss her and go down on her and hold her in your arms before worrying about some BBC's technique.

 

[Zagg]

thank you for both adding some input into this, well to be honest i really would like to know because it gets me off. i am just interested in how she was with other men and when i heard some were black i was really interested in knowing more and more. Susan you were right about her being embarrassed about talking to me about it she does not want to even talk about it at all.
i am not really trying to improve on my techniques per say i am trying to get off about her experiences. which is correct, i am being selfish i guess you could say if i am asking and asking about it. I also agree with Zagg about being open. that's all i asked from day 1 is to be open and that was almost 3yrs ago and i just found out that she had way more partners then she told me. i got this news last week. so i am thinking what more is there.

tonight after she took a shower and she came into the room she asked me if i was ever going to go down on her now? knowing what i know, and if i was going to kiss her ever again. my answer was i figured you were not open from the start.

i then started to ask about the 2 black men and it went downhill from there. we had a real bad fight. since she was abused in the past by other men sometimes she feels it's happening again and she thinks i am doing something to hurt her. just being honest with everyone on here and giving the full story. she has ptsd and sometimes if i say something or move a certain way it could trigger it. so it's really hard for me some times because of this. well tonight it was triggered and it went to hell. so my best advice to myself is to lay off her and just be nice. i dont want to push someone to the edge. if things change i will post updates. in the mean time feel free to post. thank you for everyone's input so far.

Well, you've clearly got a ways to go. Whatever you do, try to avoid fighting over it. Affection will get you further than confrontation. Best listen to Susan, who can give you the woman's point of view. Best of luck, and let us know how things are progressing.

 

[sdmike]

you are right Zagg i have been listening to Susan she has a woman's point of view and thats what i am really looking for. I am all ears to everyone but only a woman is going to know how a woman feels about this sort of things. and i am going to a back seat for a little while and let the fire cool off on this subject. i think in time things will change. i will post any changes i find out. i just would like to say thanks again for everyone's input i am reading it all, i actually look forward to reading and posting because i turned to this place because i am not open with this topic with people i know in my life. i will be on and off the forums reading. there is a lot of information on here.

Well, you've clearly got a ways to go. Whatever you do, try to avoid fighting over it. Affection will get you further than confrontation. Best listen to Susan, who can give you the woman's point of view. Best of luck, and let us know how things are progressing.

 

[gears]

We are in the "Ask Darkcavern" forum, right? I mean..you are asking for opinions, right? I just want to clarify this because my opinions generally piss off about 98% of the kool-aid drinkers who come here. No offense to anyone. Most of you are solid entertainment, whether intentionally or not.

Ok...I think this is a doomed relationship. Scratch that...I KNOW this is a doomed relationship. Why do guys who are like this always seem to hook up with a girl who isn't down with the plan? A lot of her apprehension is due to your approach. I would almost guarantee that you are weirding her the fuck out by pumping her for information about men she's fucked...and weirding her out even more by pumping her for information about the black men she's fucked. I know what I'm about to say is against the grain of this site and is going to piss off a few, but there are a shitload of white women out there who have fucked black guys during a "dark" time in their lives and they had just as soon forget about it. There are girls who dated a black boy in high school just because they thought it would make them cool, but found out that it followed them beyond the walls of the classroom. There are girls who dated black guys just to "get even" with their parents and when they realized they were only hurting themselves, they moved on...if they could. Sure, there are girls who date black men and make no excuses. But we all know a white girl who dated/fucked black guys who gets embarrassed or angry when it's brought up. Sounds like your woman falls in this category. And the fact that she got knocked up and probably chose to have an abortion doesn't make her feel any better about helping you get a stiffy. There is a negative connotation associated with white girls who fuck black guys. Hell...on the front page of Dark Cavern it says something about "slutty white wives". People instantly assume when they see a black boy and white girl just TALKING in a private setting, that they are fucking, even if they are not. What's the first thing that goes through a black guy's head when he sees a white woman with another black guy? "Ohhhhh...she fucks blacks. I know she would fuck me, too." I grew up with black people. I know the thought process.

These are they things that she want's to forget, but you keep dragging them out of the past. As much as you're not going to want to hear this...she's not sitting around all day dreaming about how thick Ray Ray's dick was or how hard she came when Tyrell bruised her cervix with his 11 inch white-woman-tamer. She's not thinking about that at all. She's just trying to move on to a better place and better time in her life...and you aren't letting her.

You need to find someone who wants to talk to you about this shit. If you really do live in San Diego, you should be able to find someone who's into the same things you are. You are wasting both your and her time because you aren't compatible.

 

[sdmike]

Gears thank you for taking the time to write your comment i made the threat to get everyones stand point on the topic. i must agree this was the best thing i could of ever done regarding this issue. Everyone with there advice has been spot on. Gears you have been correct just in the fact about her wanting to forget it and not talk about it. i know i have been weirding her out by asking questions about it. i also think you are correct that she is not thinking about it i think she try's to forget about it. today i sent her an email about what happen and how i am going to try and think more of her feelings and not about mine ( this advice i got from people posting comments) yes there is a lot we need to work out. and yes i should find someone who is into talking about it. she is not into it and is more into forgetting her troubled past and trying to live a good life. so thank you again for you're in put.

We are in the "Ask Darkcavern" forum, right? I mean..you are asking for opinions, right? I just want to clarify this because my opinions generally piss off about 98% of the kool-aid drinkers who come here. No offense to anyone. Most of you are solid entertainment, whether intentionally or not.

Ok...I think this is a doomed relationship. Scratch that...I KNOW this is a doomed relationship. Why do guys who are like this always seem to hook up with a girl who isn't down with the plan? A lot of her apprehension is due to your approach. I would almost guarantee that you are weirding her the fuck out by pumping her for information about men she's fucked...and weirding her out even more by pumping her for information about the black men she's fucked. I know what I'm about to say is against the grain of this site and is going to piss off a few, but there are a shitload of white women out there who have fucked black guys during a "dark" time in their lives and they had just as soon forget about it. There are girls who dated a black boy in high school just because they thought it would make them cool, but found out that it followed them beyond the walls of the classroom. There are girls who dated black guys just to "get even" with their parents and when they realized they were only hurting themselves, they moved on...if they could. Sure, there are girls who date black men and make no excuses. But we all know a white girl who dated/fucked black guys who gets embarrassed or angry when it's brought up. Sounds like your woman falls in this category. And the fact that she got knocked up and probably chose to have an abortion doesn't make her feel any better about helping you get a stiffy. There is a negative connotation associated with white girls who fuck black guys. Hell...on the front page of Dark Cavern it says something about "slutty white wives". People instantly assume when they see a black boy and white girl just TALKING in a private setting, that they are fucking, even if they are not. What's the first thing that goes through a black guy's head when he sees a white woman with another black guy? "Ohhhhh...she fucks blacks. I know she would fuck me, too." I grew up with black people. I know the thought process.

These are they things that she want's to forget, but you keep dragging them out of the past. As much as you're not going to want to hear this...she's not sitting around all day dreaming about how thick Ray Ray's dick was or how hard she came when Tyrell bruised her cervix with his 11 inch white-woman-tamer. She's not thinking about that at all. She's just trying to move on to a better place and better time in her life...and you aren't letting her.

You need to find someone who wants to talk to you about this shit. If you really do live in San Diego, you should be able to find someone who's into the same things you are. You are wasting both your and her time because you aren't compatible.

 

[gears]

Gears thank you for taking the time to write your comment i made the threat to get everyones stand point on the topic. i must agree this was the best thing i could of ever done regarding this issue. Everyone with there advice has been spot on. Gears you have been correct just in the fact about her wanting to forget it and not talk about it. i know i have been weirding her out by asking questions about it. i also think you are correct that she is not thinking about it i think she try's to forget about it. today i sent her an email about what happen and how i am going to try and think more of her feelings and not about mine ( this advice i got from people posting comments) yes there is a lot we need to work out. and yes i should find someone who is into talking about it. she is not into it and is more into forgetting her troubled past and trying to live a good life. so thank you again for you're in put.

No problem. Glad I could help. I know I probably came across a little militant, but we all need to wake up and realize that most women (non-sluts...non-whores) don't think about sex the same way we do. Most women under the age of 25 haven't developed the ability to process their emotions and are immature in that way. Most of the "mistakes" that women make in choosing a sex partner are made before they turn 25. I hope everything works out for both of you.

 

[lewis]

We are in the "Ask Darkcavern" forum, right? I mean..you are asking for opinions, right? I just want to clarify this because my opinions generally piss off about 98% of the kool-aid drinkers who come here. No offense to anyone. Most of you are solid entertainment, whether intentionally or not.

Ok...I think this is a doomed relationship. Scratch that...I KNOW this is a doomed relationship. Why do guys who are like this always seem to hook up with a girl who isn't down with the plan? A lot of her apprehension is due to your approach. I would almost guarantee that you are weirding her the fuck out by pumping her for information about men she's fucked...and weirding her out even more by pumping her for information about the black men she's fucked. I know what I'm about to say is against the grain of this site and is going to piss off a few, but there are a shitload of white women out there who have fucked black guys during a "dark" time in their lives and they had just as soon forget about it. There are girls who dated a black boy in high school just because they thought it would make them cool, but found out that it followed them beyond the walls of the classroom. There are girls who dated black guys just to "get even" with their parents and when they realized they were only hurting themselves, they moved on...if they could. Sure, there are girls who date black men and make no excuses. But we all know a white girl who dated/fucked black guys who gets embarrassed or angry when it's brought up. Sounds like your woman falls in this category. And the fact that she got knocked up and probably chose to have an abortion doesn't make her feel any better about helping you get a stiffy. There is a negative connotation associated with white girls who fuck black guys. Hell...on the front page of Dark Cavern it says something about "slutty white wives". People instantly assume when they see a black boy and white girl just TALKING in a private setting, that they are fucking, even if they are not. What's the first thing that goes through a black guy's head when he sees a white woman with another black guy? "Ohhhhh...she fucks blacks. I know she would fuck me, too." I grew up with black people. I know the thought process.

These are they things that she want's to forget, but you keep dragging them out of the past. As much as you're not going to want to hear this...she's not sitting around all day dreaming about how thick Ray Ray's dick was or how hard she came when Tyrell bruised her cervix with his 11 inch white-woman-tamer. She's not thinking about that at all. She's just trying to move on to a better place and better time in her life...and you aren't letting her.

You need to find someone who wants to talk to you about this shit. If you really do live in San Diego, you should be able to find someone who's into the same things you are. You are wasting both your and her time because you aren't compatible.

......oh please, can it,,,,you're boring and we don't what to hear it, she still loves blackcock and we're working on getting her BACK TO BLACK.

 

[sdmike]

HAHA thanks Lewis but idk if she is she is hiding it real well. but thanks for the heads up. like i said i will find out more later on if i can.

......oh please, can it,,,,you're boring and we don't what to hear it, she still loves blackcock and we're working on getting her BACK TO BLACK.

 

[gears]

......oh please, can it,,,,you're boring and we don't what to hear it, she still loves blackcock and we're working on getting her BACK TO BLACK.

Would it help you if I wrote in many different colors?

And you know that I am anything BUT boring. Threads wither and die without my input. You dipshit's just can't keep up and, with the exception of SrBilong (Will is exempt on this one for obvious reasons), none of you can manage to come back with anything stronger than shit like "yawn" or "she still want's black cock". If you can't process thought better than a 6th grader, you can just go ahead and shut the fuck up. I don't give you permission to respond to my posts. If you can't come back with anything stronger than some tired, weak-assed "typical" comeback, don't even bother.

The guy posed an open question in the "Ask Dark Cavern" section and I gave him the best fucking advice of anyone here. Not some bullshit response driven by fantasy.

 

[susan]

WOW..ya know?? wow

 

[Person 27]

Great advice Gears, as much as it pains some I think you are 100% right and more of a realist.