Just getting started, I guess as a "bull"

[tonyd1509]

I've had a profile on Ashley Madison for awhile now that never did me any good until about a month ago. That's when a woman dropped me a note and said she was attracted to my profile because I'd said "hubby can watch". Turns out her husband told her this spring that he wants to see her with another guy, and she's warmed up to the idea and wants to try it. I've written a couple of erotic scenes for her, which she says she's shared with him and they've had good sex over. The three of us met this weekend at a mall, and he went off by himself while she and I went shopping for some lingerie for her to wear in our first get-together. I paid for it, and made her promise not to let her husband see it until I was undressing her in front of him.

I'm not really sure what's in it for him yet -- whether he just wants to watch her with me, or he wants to be humiliated, or he wants to join in, or what. Except for a few minutes of chatting with both of them before and after the lingerie shopping, my communication has been exclusively with her, though she says she's shared most of it with him.

How do I find out what he's really after? Obviously I ask him, I know, but do I ask him in front of her when we're all together, do I ask her for an email address for him, or ...? And how do I find out whether he wants to be humiliated, or something else I haven't thought of? I don't think I can just say "So do you want me to humiliate you?"

 

[tonyd1509]

That's why I said "I guess"

I'm not sure the "bull" role as you've described it is really what they're after, or what I want either. For myself I'm just looking to have a good time and to give them a good time, whatever that means to them. They seem happy with the way things are going right now, and neither of them has hinted at wanting me to be more in charge; in fact she has expressed gratitude that I'm willing to go at their pace and make sure everybody's comfortable.

That's why I said I'm just getting started, I guess as the bull. Maybe there's another name for what it seems like we all want my role to be here?

 

[Jaxunman]

Why not try writing some more erotic scenarios out for them and send? You can throw in a couple that do involve you taking more charge and see which ones they like best. Their feedback to you will give you some idea of which direction they want to be steered.