Logic of humiliation fantasy

[Melo-Jenny]

Talking with my husband last night I found that he also has a humiliation fantasy, or at least I think its a humiliation fantasy. If I am wrong please correct me.

This new revelation was a shock to me because this is not something that I am into and something that I didn't think he was into. I am not dominant and he is not a sissy, my husband although having a cuckolding fantasy is quite manly and does a good job keeping be satisfied in the bedroom. I am happy with our sex life.

So when he told me about his fantasy of my brothers and sisters also knowing that I am having sex (planning to have sex) outside the marriage or me and Anthony (my potential lover) showing signs of affection in front of friends and family it was a total shock.

This is definately something that will forever remain in fantasyland. I can tell him make beleive stories of my sister knowing or fucking Anthony in front of friends but I refuse to take this one into the real world.

I would like to know from others out there what are the gratifications from this. What is it about this that makes it such a turn on? I can understand watching your wife have sex can be a turn on, but how does the humiliation come into play? Thanks for listening.

 

[rickyny73]

Well Jenny,

Thats the million dollar question. Normally this is something embarrassing and you would want to keep a lid on it. Its sexually exciting for the same reason that some men find other forms of humiliation sexually gratifying like having your wife snowball you another man's cum or being ****** to cleanup another man's cream pie. They just do. There is no real explaination for it.

 

[Melo-Jenny]

Thanks Rick, but I disagree. There has to be reason. Maybe the right questions haven't been asked or the right research hasn't been conducted yet.

I agree, if your wife is having sex outside the marriage this is something that is quite embarrassing, why would you want everyone else to know. Furthermore he has a foot fetish and he goes to extraordinary lengths to keep that a secret and that is not nearly as embarrassing as your wife fucking around.

As far as the snowballing and cum eating; if that is taking place behind closed doors and everyone is enjoying it, its not humiliation, its fun. I personally like the idea of making out with my husband after giving Anthony a BJ and snowballing Anthony's cum to my husband, and if my husband likes it too then its fun, and its behind closed doors between willing participants so there really is nothing to be embarrassed about.

I don't understand. Maybe you are right. Who knows. Thanks for the reply.

 

[AngleBaby]

Because it is a kind of sexual advertisement.

 

[mtlcuck]

Theyre sadistic is all

 

[SoonToBe]

Not something I'd want but perhaps he gets excited by others knowing how sexual you are?

By letting them know about what you are doing he may get some arousal by them knowing how horny you are and that you're not the goody-2-shoes mom they may have thought.

 

[Custer Laststand]

Hi Ms. Melo-Jenny,

Talking with my husband last night I found that he also has a humiliation fantasy. .... This new revelation was a shock to me because this is not something that I am into, and I didn't think he was into it. I am not dominant and he is not a sissy. My husband — although he has a cuckolding fantasy — is quite manly and does a good job keeping me satisfied in the bedroom. I am happy with our sex life. So, when he told me about his fantasy of my brothers and sisters also knowing that I am having sex (planning to have sex) outside the marriage or me and Anthony (my potential lover) showing signs of affection in front of friends and family, it was a total shock.

If you find your husband satisfying in bed, that's good.... *very* good. His fantasies, however, are independent of your actual sex life. They're a "life of imagination" he and — if he shares them — the two of you can use to increase the interest and intensity of your fucking, as well as your joint life in a broader sense. The same can be said for *your* sexual fantasies. If your husband's fantasies involve humiliation of him by you and your lover(s), or potential lover(s), that's OK.... my impression is, lots of people have sexual fantasies along those lines, and they're harmless. If your husband's fantasies involve him being humiliated by you and your lover(s) in front of other people as well, that too is harmless and can increase the erotic intensity of you fucking him.

If, however, your husband wants to make the transition to *actually* including others — in particular, your and/or his relatives — in his humiliation fantasies, then that, potentially, is big trouble. The reason is, if he and you offend and embarrass your relatives because they don't share his fantasies and find them offensive (even though they, more than likely, have sexual fantasies of their own), afterwards they'll still be your relatives and they'll still be part of your lives. In other words, shocking and offending your relatives on a sexual level may result in *very* long-lasting alienation of them accompanied by long-lasting bad feelings in your family. Obviously, you don't want that.

A good rule-of-thumb to apply when it comes to this sort of thing is: it's a mistake to assume one's sexual fantasies are shared by others, unless the "others" of interest say so explicitly. When it comes to relatives, this rule applies in triplicate.

This is definately something that will forever remain in fantasyland. I can tell him make beleive stories of my sister knowing or fucking Anthony in front of friends but I refuse to take this one into the real world.

As you should. Your judgment is good and your view is appropriate.

I would like to know from others out there what are the gratifications from this. What is it about this that makes it such a turn on? I can understand watching your wife have sex can be a turn on, but how does the humiliation come into play?

Good question. I don't know. Cherry Lee, Ph.D. (a pseudonym) has a section "what does the husband get out of it" in her article on the "cuckold husband / hotwife phenomena," but I don't think she addresses that aspect of it — at least, not in detail (as I recall). Anyway, you can find it here:

http://scandalouswomen.com/2008/08/14/the-cuckold-husband-hotwife-phenomena/

—Custer

 

[Saraha]

Melo, do you have a trusted sister who you could discuss "his desires" and test the waters?

 

[carina_halerose]

Most of our friends are already part of the kinky lifestyle in one way or another and yes they all know that she cucks me. In fact just Friday night a girl friend of hers ask her at a party if she was interested in meeting a very nice black man that loves to cuck husbands that her friend knows. That was done right in front of me and others we know. Of course my wife said please give him my email addy. My wife asked me after we got home and we were in bed with her stroking my lil cock if I liked that she has said she wanted to meet another man in front of our friends and I said yes I love the way it made me feel. I like that other people know I am a cuck and that she is free to have sex with anyone she wishes. If others did not know I would not enjoy being a cuck so much as I do.

 

[imported_pussy boy]

My wife is a slut fantasy

I think the question might be how many people do you jenny . want too know that you are fucking around on your husband ? Because thats how some people will look at it unfortunately , even if us cucks love you for it. And i have read you don't want to be called that four letter word slut . So yes you are definitely right , your husband cleaning your lovers creampie is one thing . But if his big fantasy is too , i think be humiliated by friends or whoever making fun of him because his jenny likes too fuck around on him . Or maybe he likes the idea ,[ the fantasy that his wife is a slut ] that people talk about and laugh at him . And make him the butt of there jokes . But you know some people might just find out anyway that your husband likes too see his wife being fucked hard by another guy . It's as simple as that , it's not rocket science . And some things should definitely just be fantasy . But If people find out , oh well as long as you guys are having fun with it who cares .

 

[monitaur]

Humiliation has it's categories. For the sake of argument and strictly as a hypothetical one, what would your reaction be if hubby asked you to lick a female lover's rosebud? Tasting the results of lover's coupling can definitely qualify as humiliation despite all parties consent. I would agree with the majority opinion in keeping the relationship info private. I do think that there is a larger question to consider, however.

All non traditional sexual practices are a rebellion against the Victorian age of denying that sex even existed as something humans would engage in at all. That is the impetus for the stork story. And God knows that there are 'net ninnys', those who would gladly censor any reference to sex on the web. So it's not like the Victorian mindset went quietly into that night. For all the weird and wonderful stuff that cyberspace archives and provides, there is a cadre who would gladly tame this commons. Cuckolding in general and humiliation of various sorts is a breaking out of the assigned sex roles that society still reinforces...and is one of many components of the ongoing sexual revolution.

 

[imported_pussy boy]

Talking with my husband last night I found that he also has a humiliation fantasy, or at least I think its a humiliation fantasy. If I am wrong please correct me.

This new revelation was a shock to me because this is not something that I am into and something that I didn't think he was into. I am not dominant and he is not a sissy, my husband although having a cuckolding fantasy is quite manly and does a good job keeping be satisfied in the bedroom. I am happy with our sex life.

So when he told me about his fantasy of my brothers and sisters also knowing that I am having sex (planning to have sex) outside the marriage or me and Anthony (my potential lover) showing signs of affection in front of friends and family it was a total shock.

This is definately something that will forever remain in fantasyland. I can tell him make beleive stories of my sister knowing or fucking Anthony in front of friends but I refuse to take this one into the real world.

I would like to know from others out there what are the gratifications from this. What is it about this that makes it such a turn on? I can understand watching your wife have sex can be a turn on, but how does the humiliation come into play? Thanks for listening.

You are a hot looking woman jenny . So have fun being a little sluty , and keep visiting hubby in fantasyland . Just keep talking like a slut in bed we all love that . good luck sweetheart .

 

[mimi27406]

Jenny, some things are almost unanserable, but one thing about Hot Wives, that escapes attention is she is respected and desire by most men and the cuck is proud of her and does gain a type of pleasure or is even envied by some men. I think is is a mistake to try to fit our lifestyle into normal social acts. To some, leading a double life is very hard to do, and I think your husband just wants to come our and be done with it.

 

[SoonToBe]

I can attest to this too. I do not feel uncomfortable when I hang around with my wife lovers friends at the bar they hang out at. At first it did feel a bit awkward but I have since come to feel comfortable and accepted - apparently they understand the situation between the 3 of us and quite possibly even respect it since it is an ongoing thing.

Still, I cannot say it is humiliation that I feel - quite the opposite in fact - in some ways perhaps the others envy that we are able to be comfortable and accept the situation.

Regardless, though, I can say that I would not like my friends to be aware of our situation - nor would I like any of our family to know.

 

[Susan's Slave]

I'm not sure anyone has difinitively stated why some people enjoy being humiliated and others don't. Generally speaking it has been labeled as a fetish type behavior (attaching sexual feelings to an object or idea that is generally considered non-sexual). Some people have speculated that sexual arousal occurred when the subject was in contact with this object or feeling and the brain paired the two non-related incidents.

It generally seems to be men that are diagnosed with this type of behavior (fetishism) and I think personally that as the activity becomes more frequent/accepted/normal it loses the addictive rush and more is necessary to become aroused. So your acceptance of his desire to be cuckolded has caused a need for a stronger fantasy to excite him to the degree he wants.