Making progress?

[Bishot]

I was wondering if there's any interest in a thread for those of us who are working on a reluctant wife/girlfriend to share our little bits of progress, frustrations, and hopefully our eventual success? It will be pretty underwhelming to those who are living the lifestyle but I think there are lots of us out there who haven't made it yet but are trying...

My wife and I started discussing having another person join us several years ago and have had a couple of threesome type experiences, but a few years ago I started getting really turned on by the idea of her having sex with other men without me. I sort of worked the idea into our conversations, dropping hints, etc, and she does get aroused when I talk to her about it during sex. I have finally managed (I think) to convince her that I would really, truly be ok with it.

In the past year or so, she has identified a couple of guys that she might do it with, and she has engaged in some flirting, pic swapping, etc with one of them.

I encourage it as much as I can, realizing that it may or may not happen. But each little milestone in the right direction is exciting, and I thought it might be fun to share them with those who are in a similar situation...

 

[SheDoesIt]

It’s an interesting thread for me to be sure and I’d appreciate hearing from others also!

You are ahead of me in that I have not succeeded in sharing my wife yet. We had the conversation a few years back and she claimed interest but avoided the subject thereafter. More recently I became a little less willing to ‘just let it go’ and decided it was time to press the point a little harder. That is what brought me to SWives...

I spent a week talking with folks in the chat room here, many were totally clueless wankers (literally) but then I happened upon Angel who is an experienced bull. He has shared many ideas and strategies with me in a very smart and psychological way. We put together a series of steps upon which I have now embarked. I can’t say whether it will work or not yet but my wife has indeed started on the journey with me by discussing previous sexual encounters (in detail) and drawing up a list of activities we can share in bed. I also casually introduced her to a little BDSM clothing/gear and to my surprise she jumped in pretty hard and ordered some stuff. What Angel helped me understand is that it’s all about empowering your wife to take her sexuality into her hands and use it, it doesn’t have to be at the cost of mine, but she needs the confidence to take the leap and that will come from familiarity with sharing sexual experiences, easing her into bigger toys, so she starts to enjoy size and giving her the power to make these decisions for herself, 100% safe in the knowledge that it will incur NO negative consequences from me. Who knows if it’ll work but what I do know is that asking earnestly and politely wasn’t working... time to hand her the car keys.

Unlike many here I’m not throwing the keys away forever, her enjoyment will be my enjoyment, I hope we can settle into a ‘switch’ routine, sometimes she drives, sometimes I do... but we’re a team with responsibility to get to our destination together, for each other’s enjoyment and having the confidence to give it.

I too and highly excited about the idea of her playing with other men alone and I see that giving her the power (not merely granting permission) to do that stands a good chance of working. We love each other to bits, that is not in question, but we were failing to fulfill each other’s more expansive needs... now we’re working toward fixing that, it may take months a year who knows but the journey is as much fun as the destination.

 

[Bishot]

Yep, it took a lot of discussion to convince her that I won't be upset if she fucks another guy, or use it as an excuse to cheat myself. I'm not sure she's 100% there, to be honest.

The rest of it I like to think of as Cultivating and Encouraging Her Inner Slut, lol. It's great fun when they get to the point of identifying guys they would like to fuck, mine said the other day that she would like to fuck her ex brother in law who brings us firewood. I gave her full permission and encouraged the idea as much as I could, now I get to wonder what will happen next time he brings us a load-i'm going to make it a point to not be home when he does