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My first time to really need to ask some questions...

  • Thread starterPAC496
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PAC496

Not quite a lurker
Beloved Member
Oct 5, 2008
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Well I have been enjoying this site for a long time. I have had the fantasy of this kind of sex for several years now. Well until just a few months ago this was never a very real possibility. But things have started to change…

First some quick background, my wife and I have been married about 20 years and do enjoy amazing sex together. We share all kinds of fantasies. We have fun with all kinds of different kinds of playing and we use a lot of fun toys. Even though I have continued to bring up this idea she has assured me at different times this was never going to happen but we did enjoy a great deal of cuckold fantasy play with different imaginary guys and enjoyed this greatly.

However recently a man has emerged as a candidate, our fantasy play has sky rocketed and she loves to tease me about him. We had a very intense week this last week with insane teasing to include her saying one morning she was ready for me to reclaim her pussy as before it belonged to her new found lover but by the end of the end of the day she was wanted to continue with her pussy being his as she had a great visit with him that day and she wanted to bask in the joy of the day.

So these events have brought me to post some questions. I know that we are a long way from the main event happening but I am overwhelmed with emotion at different times. It has amazed me at how long I have dreamed of this starting to happen and now I have times that feels like my chest is being rip out with angst. So my first question is to those who have been on the front end of this trip and have went through with it does this angst go away or how do you deal with it?
 
First off, the "angst" does not really go away and it is part of what most here love. We have come to eroticize it along with any jealousy.
You either love the angst and any jealousy or you don't.

So, if you feel like your heart is being ripped out, perhaps you are not really ready for it at this point.
Perhaps you should only deal in fantasy for now to see if you feleings evolve to love it as often happends.
Some times it happens suddenly, other times, it could take a while to develope.

When you are truly ready for you wife to be with other men, you will know it.
 
My personal experience (everyone's is different).

I played with the idea of it for many years before I "took the plunge" so to speak. When I did finally go for it (my girlfriend was not against the idea). I still had angst, nervousness, that turning feeling in the pit of my stomach; and I didn't like that feeling. She did it in a way where I had control for a while. I still had these bad feelings, but the feeling of "omg this is so hot and I have a steel like woodie" were stronger. After several months of her playing, and reassuring me; I rarely have the bad feelings anymore. Now that I am comfortable with the fact that she can separate sex and feelings. Now that I know to the depths of my soul that she won't leave me for another, bigger, better cock. I do still have angst, and pit of stomach feeling occasionally; but not often and not as bad.

So unlike the previous post, I do not enjoy the jealousy/sickening feeling; however I do say it is worth it. Also, on a side note; I feel that I am more secure in our relationship now that I have tested this. Now I KNOW she won't leave me for a better fuck. Also, she knows that I will let her get it on the side from someone else, so I don't worry about her cheating on me anymore. Well, rarely anyways. Lol
 
NYJoe thank you for your reply, I think you are right and perhaps the ripping out of the heart was an over statement but it very uncomfortable for me and I did not expect that. I do believe it is feelings of jealousy to some level and I really do not like it from an emotional stand point but the vision of her being pounded by her lover is an absolute wicked turn on. I think I will encourage the fantasy endulgement and let her friendship relations grow with the new found prospect.
 
Dirty489 Thank you for your reply. It did make me feel better at least from the stand point if my wife does go through with this then I will at some level be able to at least compartmentalize the emotion and concentrate on what is a great turn on. Lately we have both greatly enjoyed the new dimension to our play.
 
As we have gotten started with this involvement, my wife is unsure if the guy is truly interested. They do work together although do not see each other often. Lately work production has brought them togehter more. At one point my wife asked him for advice on an pending issue and her concerns. He of course helped her and then the next day took steps to present her with greeting cards and 3 bars of chocolate. I told her see he has an interst in you for sure. I know she relishes the attention but does not feel he has a physical interest in her. I told her I bet he was jackng off thinking about how turn on you would be by the chocolate. She giggles and say he would not do that...I told her he is a guy, if he buys a woman chocolate he is thinking pussy! Am I right or am I right!:D
 
So here is my second question that I have... my wife and I were talking about scenarios in which a meeting might happen. Well with the aforementioned post and my angst I told her I think it would be better if she just went for it and told me on the way home to get ready for some story telling. but then she says but what if in the end I had an issue with it and she would not have a chance to stop and she took the final step. Since I was not ready for this she would feel guilty...so I told her I do not think it is a matter of being ready but more so waiting for her to come home would kill me! Some in a good way and some in a not so good way. So I think I would be better off not knowing until after. So this brought up the suggestion that perhaps if it were to come to the coversation between Kelly and her new almost lover that perhaps their first encounter should include every thing but the ulitmate so that converstation could be had making sure everyone is good with going forward. But she says I am a woman that loves sex what if I can not stop myself! So I guess for those who have been in this situation are we simply over thinking it and should truly just go for it and let it play out or still be more cautious?
 
PAC496 said:
So here is my second question that I have... my wife and I were talking about scenarios in which a meeting might happen. Well with the aforementioned post and my angst I told her I think it would be better if she just went for it and told me on the way home to get ready for some story telling. but then she says but what if in the end I had an issue with it and she would not have a chance to stop and she took the final step.
Click to expand...

Hi,

in my opinion that should not be the main topic how far to go because this question should be answered in advance.

Another comment: I was slightly surprised how quick it took to convince your wife to fullfil your fantasy. For me there were 5 years of hard work. Because at the beginning my wife thought that this would be a fantasy of mine to create stories which she told me during love making. I agree it was hot but I wanted to do the real thing and that was hard work.

Nevertheless I succeded and we planned our first adventure. There was also the question how to do it and at the end we did it in a hotel bar and never knew us in this area. I sat at the end of the bar and 10 minutes later she came and took a stool in the middle of the bar. A grey haired business man approached her and I was able to hear the flirting they did. After some very erotic hours he took her to his room where I was not present. But it was a "half" solution and very erotic. I enjoyed it very much!

fred
 
Thank you for your post Fred. You are right this has taken many years to convince my wife. I would say at least the last 6 to 7 years. At first she would barely engage in fantasy. She was just not interested. However in the first couple years we would play with toys and share ideas watch some porn together and she started warming up to the idea. We even went as far as picking a friend for fantasy. Then one day we were getting ready to go on vacation about 4 years ago and as we were preparing to leave she got a call from "the friend" that was helping us with some house stuff while we were gone. When the phone rang she stated "oh this is Ron!" jump up and ran out of the room. For some reason this turned me on like she was running out of the room to talk to her lover so I slide off my clothes and starting jacking off waiting for her to return. When she entered the room she was quiet surprised and asked me what got me going. I said her leaving to take the call like he was her lover. She giggled but was like you really are turned on by this aren't you. Well that started some deeper fantasy play and over the last 4 years she has progress in her thoughts and feelings. She is still very relunctant and this last week has been the first time ever she has stated that she could even consider being with another man.

I like your hotel idea and me being there. One time my wife took some time with girl friends for a long weekend and started teasing me about a guy. Very arosing story for me. I should post it sometime but anyway I did not realize she was teasing I thought the text and phone calls were happening. She was amazing in all she was saying. I struggled a bit mostly because I was worried for her safety. If she ever got hurt I do not know what I would do especially it the hurt came as a result of my wanting her to be with another man. Well when she got home we were able to have some really good conversations about her weekend and what it brings to the table.

Perhaps I should start a new thread with some history about us. For all my reading and enjoying posts on this board I feel under skilled to handle some of the issues and questions. Thank you for your help.
 
PAC and Mac, touched on it. We usually will meet a guy as a couple. To make sure things are on the up and up. She has had me doing screening for yrs. Says she doesn't have time for flakes or fakes. That my job. Find the liars, idiots and weed them out before she takes the time to talk to them on my cell phone.
I'm not a small guy and my looks tend to scare guys from looking at her for long when in public. LOL
When someone hits on her she tells them, 'I don't lie to my husband, and before anything happens someone has to ask him.' only one guy has had the guts to call. LOL. The others she's called. LoL
 
Great thank you Mac this will give Kelly and I more to talk about. I think we need to talk about how to include me in their first time. Now keep in mind we are a long way from an actual conversation with the other party. We have just entered into Kelly thinking this might be a possibilty beyond fantasy. So this is still a pretty fragile possibility.

I really do appreciate the input this will be a great help to us to help promote good conversation.
 
Hank I like that idea although I am not as an intimdating figure in stature however I do like the converstion to happen with all parties before hand. I think we will head down that road as we progress.
 
Well based on the information we have recieved here we have decided if things progress that we will sit down with her potential lover and set some ground rules on how this is going to happen. She made a point to say to me that she wants this to be about us and a way for both of us to recieve enjoyment or it is not worth it. It is not just about sex with another is it about sex with me through him and a way for us to share that experience.

I very much appreciate the comments here and will keep you updated as things progress or hopefully progress. We have a lot of hoops to jump through still yet.
 
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