Need Some Advice

[middletncuck]

Hi, I've been in a long-distance relationship for the better part of 6 years. We met online when we were in high school, met in person when we graduated, and made it all the way through university. Now we have plans to get married and live together come next May.

Ever since we've been together, I've had this cuckold fantasy. Only with her--never with any other woman I have been with. She has only slept with 4 other men, and we've never cheated on each other.

She has playfully entertained my fantasy for all these years, but last Friday she sent me a text and said she would be fully willing to screw a guy who works with her if I still wanted it.

Suddenly my emotions went haywire. I never thought she would give in, to be honest. In my mind, it was just bed talk. I would plead and beg, but something inside me figured that if it hadn't happened yet, it wasn't going to happen.

After days of arguing back and forth with myself, I told her no...that I needed to have her as my own the day we get married. However, since then our sex life has really dropped off. Every night on the phone, we would take turns pleasing each other. We might have regular phone sex for a night or two in a row, and the next she would "cuckold" me. Now she has said that if we aren't going to do it, she doesn't want to fantasize about it at all.

Now she asks me what I want, and I have no answer for her.

I am too scared to get into the lifestyle because I fear it may just be a fetish that I have due to the long distance (I can't have her every night, so another guy should).

However, we both seem unhappier now without it. Should I bring it back up, make it a strict fantasy, and keep it that way? Should I let her go ahead and nail her coworker? Should I wait the remaining months and see what happens?

Just not sure.

 

[duke9555]

Hi, I've been in a long-distance relationship for the better part of 6 years. We met online when we were in high school, met in person when we graduated, and made it all the way through university. Now we have plans to get married and live together come next May.

Ever since we've been together, I've had this cuckold fantasy. Only with her--never with any other woman I have been with. She has only slept with 4 other men, and we've never cheated on each other.

She has playfully entertained my fantasy for all these years, but last Friday she sent me a text and said she would be fully willing to screw a guy who works with her if I still wanted it.

Suddenly my emotions went haywire. I never thought she would give in, to be honest. In my mind, it was just bed talk. I would plead and beg, but something inside me figured that if it hadn't happened yet, it wasn't going to happen.

After days of arguing back and forth with myself, I told her no...that I needed to have her as my own the day we get married. However, since then our sex life has really dropped off. Every night on the phone, we would take turns pleasing each other. We might have regular phone sex for a night or two in a row, and the next she would "cuckold" me. Now she has said that if we aren't going to do it, she doesn't want to fantasize about it at all.

Now she asks me what I want, and I have no answer for her.

I am too scared to get into the lifestyle because I fear it may just be a fetish that I have due to the long distance (I can't have her every night, so another guy should).

However, we both seem unhappier now without it. Should I bring it back up, make it a strict fantasy, and keep it that way? Should I let her go ahead and nail her coworker? Should I wait the remaining months and see what happens?

Just not sure.

===========


buy a Magic 8 ball

 

[cp1970]

I know how you feel, my wife had a very hot 'online affair' which I found out about half way through , after we had agreed she could sleep with other guys. Once that ended, she said no fantasy stuff, can't pretend after its been real.

 

[AngleBaby]

Tell her you want to wait until you two are married, have settled down and have talked about children. When do you want them? Do you want to live your cuckolding fantasy for a while before kids? After?
Life never plays out exactly the way you want it to. In fantasy, no one is hurt. Real life is different. You might do something that hurts your wife, or your wife might hurt you. Try reading some of the horror stories on this website. If you still want to live this out, learn from those the mistakes made.
Main point is, why the rush right now? Why this one guy? Your fantasy can wait. Can't her fantasy wait as well?

 

[babyruthiezhubby]

long distance relational relationships are difficult by themselves let alone a cuckold one. She has already developed an attachment to this co worker or she wouldn't have choose him. Indeed she may already be telling you in a round about way that it already is or has happened. You opened the door by letting the fantasy in and got her all excited. Now when it looks like it's actually going to happen or has happened for real you want to close it. Most people just can't turn it off and on like that.

This could be fun for both of you if you let it be fun. The one thing that will kill your relationship, cuckold, hot wife, swinger or otherwise faster than anything is jealousy.
You opened the door, she's into it and It's not going to close now. If you start displaying jealous emotions at this point you can count on the relationship coming to an end.

 

[Warpt]

If I were you, I would suck it up and let her fuck him. You have primed her up for this and made her think about it enough to look for a suitable lover. Now that she has found one, you are backing out.
If you want to bring this up later, she might not want to do it cause she will think you will back out again.
You don't know what you are missing. Having a vanillia marriage really sux. You won't know it till your wife becomes a hot chick. Having a hot chick before you get married will give you the best bet of knowing she will be for a long time.
Just tell her you need to know all the details of every time she fucks someone, then give her all the attention she needs afterwards.
These rewards to her will make her want to do it again...

 

[SoonToBe]

I have to agree with Mac on this one.
It'd be different if you were already married and then had moved into a long-distance relationship.
It seems quite dangerous to me for her to be with another guy without an underlying committed relationship between you two that would be something that could bridge the distance.
If she were nearby, then that would ultimately be up to the two of you to figure out how a 3rd party would work into the dynamics of your relationship. But without the cushion of being closely located, this sounds very dangerous to me.
Just my humble opinion...

 

[middletncuck]

Tell her you want to wait until you two are married, have settled down and have talked about children. When do you want them? Do you want to live your cuckolding fantasy for a while before kids? After?
Life never plays out exactly the way you want it to. In fantasy, no one is hurt. Real life is different. You might do something that hurts your wife, or your wife might hurt you. Try reading some of the horror stories on this website. If you still want to live this out, learn from those the mistakes made.
Main point is, why the rush right now? Why this one guy? Your fantasy can wait. Can't her fantasy wait as well?

Thanks for your response.

First, let me answer the question of "Why this guy now?"

She has always told me she has a black fetish (we're white), and this guy is Indian. However, she says he acts black, so that may have something to do with it. Also, she says she trusts him as a friend, and that she feels she could have sex with him without anyone's feelings getting hurt. He's very good looking, and he hits on her all the time. She saw the opening, and thought it would be the prime opportunity to cuckold me.

However, when I told her that I couldn't do it, she seemed fine with it. She said that she only ever wanted to do it to excite me, and that if that would bring hardship to our relationship, it wasn't worth it.

I don't think she has already been with him, though I could be wrong. There is no way of knowing for sure, but judging by her response I don't think she has. She also said she never wants to think of this stuff again, and that she just wants to focus on us.

My problem is that I am having trouble being excited by regular sex. I think we got comfortable with our long distance (I've heard that happens when you get engaged and married), and we stopped doing the little things that make it exciting. Cuckolding made it exciting, but without it I will have to find other ways to liven things up.

I'm going to suggest that we start taking more pictures and using webcam more. I think that is the honest solution to the problem.

Thanks again. Other opinions are welcome.

 

[Custer Laststand]

Middletncuck,

Ever since [my long-distance woman and I have] been together I've had this cuckold fantasy. Only with her--never with any other woman I have been with. She has only slept with 4 other men, and we've never cheated on each other.

If your long-distance woman has slept with four other men, that's promising.

She has playfully entertained my fantasy for all these years, but last Friday she sent me a text and said she would be fully willing to screw a guy who works with her if I still wanted it.

You can take your woman "playfully" entertaining your fantasy and actually telling you out loud she has an opportunity to fuck another man and would be willing [meaning, would like] to do so as meaning she is an excellent candidate to make you her cuckold.

Suddenly my emotions went haywire. .... after days of arguing back and forth with myself, I told her no .... now when she asks me what I want, I have no answer for her. However, we both seem unhappy now without [our fantasy of her cuckolding me].

Sounds like cuckold angst. Since your woman has not yet taken you to be her husband, formally speaking she cannot make you her cuckold and cannot be your cuckoldress. As others have pointed out, if she begins taking other men as lovers while you are not around and while she does not have the security of having taken you as her husband (yet), you could easily lose her.

Thus, her not doing so until after she marries you is probably the best strategy, if she's willing to continue masturbating that long.

Unfortunately, by killing your mutual-fantasy of her cuckolding you, you've effectively killed your mutual sexual attraction. It's sort of like you're already a long-term married couple exclusively faithful to each other.

Now [my long-distance woman and I] have plans to get married and live together come next May.

I suggest returning steaminess to your over-long engagement by suggesting to your cuckoldress-to-be you want her to begin thinking in terms of the wedding present you intend to give her: another man, who will fuck her passionately on her and your wedding day. Until then, you want her to commit to NOT fucking other men... but in her telephone conversations with you (which should soon include webcams, if they don't already), you want her to tease you about her intentions and you will commit to responding in agonizingly-jealous ways (as an act, of course).

For example, your long-distance woman might require you to masturbate for her viewing pleasure in front of your webcam, while she taunts you about how she will cuckold you once she "has you in her power" as her husband.

In this way you may find it possible... perhaps more than possible... to return salacious anticipation to your phone conversations, as the calendar ticks down to your wedding day when your woman will fully and formally make you her cuckold. During her and your months of steamy anticipation, of course, you will also have to agonize increasingly over whether you're actually going to disappoint your long-distance woman by withholding your long-promised wedding present when the time comes.

Will you...? Won't you...?

—Custer

 

[duke9555]

Middletncuck,



If your long-distance woman has slept with four other men, that's promising.



You can take your woman "playfully" entertaining your fantasy and actually telling you out loud she has an opportunity to fuck another man and would be willing [meaning, would like] to do so as meaning she is an excellent candidate to make you her cuckold.



Sounds like cuckold angst. Since your woman has not yet taken you to be her husband, formally speaking she cannot make you her cuckold and cannot be your cuckoldress. As others have pointed out, if she begins taking other men as lovers while you are not around and while she does not have the security of having taken you as her husband (yet), you could easily lose her.

Thus, her not doing so until after she marries you is probably the best strategy, if she's willing to continue masturbating that long.

Unfortunately, by killing your mutual-fantasy of her cuckolding you, you've effectively killed your mutual sexual attraction. It's sort of like you're already a long-term married couple exclusively faithful to each other.



I suggest returning steaminess to your over-long engagement by suggesting to your cuckoldress-to-be you want her to begin thinking in terms of the wedding present you intend to give her: another man, who will fuck her passionately on her and your wedding day. Until then, you want her to commit to NOT fucking other men... but in her telephone conversations with you (which should soon include webcams, if they don't already), you want her to tease you about her intentions and you will commit to responding in agonizingly-jealous ways (as an act, of course).

For example, your long-distance woman might require you to masturbate for her viewing pleasure in front of your webcam, while she taunts you about how she will cuckold you once she "has you in her power" as her husband.

In this way you may find it possible... perhaps more than possible... to return salacious anticipation to your phone conversations, as the calendar ticks down to your wedding day when your woman will fully and formally make you her cuckold. During her and your months of steamy anticipation, of course, you will also have to agonize increasingly over whether you're actually going to disappoint your long-distance woman by withholding your long-promised wedding present when the time comes.

Will you...? Won't you...?

—Custer

===============


yikes...............

 

[Warpt]

Why buy porn when you could already have it at home, for free.
A hot sexy wife is the way to go. Let her have some dick on the side, just make sure you know all the details about it.

 

[sptbj2]

... My problem is that I am having trouble being excited by regular sex. I think we got comfortable with our long distance (I've heard that happens when you get engaged and married), and we stopped doing the little things that make it exciting. Cuckolding made it exciting, but without it I will have to find other ways to liven things up.

I'm going to suggest that we start taking more pictures and using webcam more. I think that is the honest solution to the problem.

Thanks again. Other opinions are welcome.

I think you hit on the real problem here and have answered your own question. I do agree with Mac and STB, I think you're skating on very thin ice here. This would be a good time for you and your woman to communicate with each other and map out the future of your relationship.

 

[Lamont]

I hit the panic button once and it has been a long long road back brother. All I can tell you is that it may be best just kept fantasy, and maybe it's best left for when you're married, but if you've enjoyed these sorts of thoughts, they're not likely to ever just vanish and go back to the wonderful vanilla life you had before you started. Once it's there it's there. And the guys saying to communicate are very right. You actually have to have non-sexual conversation about your true thoughts, feelings and boundaries long before you decide anything. We've spent hours and hours going over everything in order to be on the same page, and we continue to. No, those chats aren't about getting off, they're about protecting each other and helping the relationship to stay strong and growing together. I'd have one of these chats, where you do truly bear your soul and thoughts, as soon as possible.

 

[middletncuck]

Thanks again for all the extra thoughts!

My fiancee and I have been talking quite a bit, and I think we have the issues worked out. We're not ready for this, at least not right now. We may return to the cuckold idea when we're settled into our marriage, though.

Thanks again, everyone.

 

[Susan's Slave]

Excellent decision Middletncuck! Look forwarding to hearing from you in the future and congratulations on your upcoming nuptuals!

 

[smallcockpaul]

I hate to be harsh - she has probably fucked him already and is trying to lighten the burden by you saying that it was ok. In that way she could have him as her boyfriend and come home to you occasionally.

I agree with MacNfries, this relationship is over for her already - she just wants to blame it on you by saying (in a few months) "Well, this what YOU wanted"

 

[middletncuck]

I hate to be harsh - she has probably fucked him already and is trying to lighten the burden by you saying that it was ok. In that way she could have him as her boyfriend and come home to you occasionally.

I agree with MacNfries, this relationship is over for her already - she just wants to blame it on you by saying (in a few months) "Well, this what YOU wanted"

If she already has, we'll try and salvage it. Maybe it will be the push we need to becoming a cuckold couple. If it doesn't work out, then it doesn't work out. I love her to death, but I wouldn't want anyone to be with me that doesn't love me enough to be honest with me.

Having said that, I do believe her.

 

[middletncuck]

Excellent decision Middletncuck! Look forwarding to hearing from you in the future and congratulations on your upcoming nuptuals!

Thank you! Hopefully we'll be back.