On comdoms, and a possible strategy...
Hi ne14playin,
Since you and your husband agree you want to do this, you're over the largest hump by far.
Re. your fear of condoms breaking: I would suggest having your husband go to a pharmacy, buy a box of "reputable brand" condoms, then test them by having him use one whenever you fuck him. You may find it works best if you role them down his cock while talking to him in a sensuous voice and fondling his cock, thus conveying the impression that you (not him) are the owner of his cock. This would also enable you to become comfortable with getting men who may not be enthusiastic about condoms to use them. ("It's time for one of these now, darlin'... c'mon, sugarlump... c'mon...") Pretty soon you'll become comfortable with them and realize they work as advertised.
If your primary interest in condoms is using them to avoid STDs (and that, of course, is a very well-justified reason), and you're already on some other form of birth control to avoid pregnancy (for the time being, anyway), then that's all the more reason to practice and become comfortable using condoms with your husband.
Your feelings of fear over "getting started" suggest you may not be outgoing by nature; that is, you may be fearful of approaching men you don't know very well (or at all) with sex in mind, and fearful of getting rejected — which, of course, nobody likes or wants. If so, that's OK. Lots of people are like that. If this is the case, you will probably be best off to adopt a strategy for selecting potential lovers that will minimize the possibility of rejection and embarassment.
An obvious approach would be to use an Internet venue such as "Adult Friend Finder" (AFF), or perhaps this forum. This would enable you to place an ad among people you know are "looking," by definition.
When responses start coming in from candidates, you can read and consider all of them over some period of time before deciding which seem of greatest interest. Presumably these would include men who, among their other qualities, are actually within reasonable distance of where you live.
After some correspondence, you could move to the next step which would be exchanging photos (fully clothed at first, if you prefer) with one or more who pass the "correspondence test." This may enable you to narrow your candidates down somewhat further. You could then set up a telephone conversation with the one you feel you're most attracted to. This is VERY important. If you do not have good feelings about your telephone conversation with him, move on and set one up with another "seemingly good" candidate.
Finally, you can make arrangements to meet your candidate who survives, so to speak, your telephone interview at a neutral location — say, a cafe for a cup of coffee or lunch. If you prefer protection, your husband could be present as a "stranger" elsewhere in the cafe or nearby. This would be preferable, I would say, to meeting him alone, especially if you feel somewhat fearful or uncertain. Alternatively, both you and your husband could meet the candidate, since both of you are in agreement about wanting to do this.
If your candidate seems, in person, like someone you want to "go with," then set up a meeting — say, at your home — and you'll be on your way. I would suggest not being alone with your candidate (whom you can now begin thinking of as your new lover) in your home during your initial meeting(s). Rather, I would suggest your husband be present "somewhere" in your home, other than your marital bedroom, during your initial tryst(s). This, I would say, is actually very important since not all men who seem sexually attractive are nice guys. Unfortunately, there are psychopaths and sociopaths out there who can and do seem normal.
Re. your second fear ("finding you enjoy it way too much"): yes! That is the reason for cuckolding your husband! I hope you will remember the words of an anonymous woman, paraphrased from a forum elsewhere: "Successfully making your husband a cuckold is among the most satisfying rewards available to you as a married woman."
I hope this works out well for both of you.
Best wishes—
Custer
