New Year, New Thread
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Well, where to begin. I'm not sure that everyone here is going to like what we've decided or what we're thinking, but what I can tell everyone is that Sue isn't ready to run off with Paul - not by a long shot. While he may be good in bed and for short periods, Sue actually had some negative things to say about him which prompted me to ask her if that's why they don't ever go out more - drinks or dinner. In short, he's not a conversational type of person. I told her I'd felt some of that in the awkwardness that we still felt and she agreed that he's fun to be with when they're doing things or that their time is busy, but that she's felt awkward periods with him where she's felt a gap between them that she felt enough to mention so I left it at that.
Last night we did have our usual fun but she surprised me by deciding to remove her panties and encourage me to look at her as she fingered herself, never cumming but getting visibly wet. She teased me as she spread her legs apart and let me see all of her as she gently teased that her pussy is less and less mine and more and more Paul's - something we talked about that turned me on to think about so I know she was listening and picked up on that. I actually moved up to kneel between her legs as she lay back against the headboard and enjoyed seeing how aroused I was. It was so intense to hear and see her tell me that I don't get to "feel me this wet" and indeed, her fingers looked slick pushing all the way in and then pulling all the way back out. As I watched and stroked eagerly was when she pulled them out and then smiled as she pulled her pussy open and I could see just how wet she was inside. She teased me "too bad it's not for you" as she gently rubbed at her clit and I got to see her eyes close and she seemed to lose herself for a moment. It was so erotic to watch her. When the pleasure passed by she opened her eyes and wickedly smiled seeing how hard my cock was and how I was stroking away. Just how she looked lying there with her top still on but naked and so horny, it was so intense that I was close. As with the last few weeks, when I was about ready to burst, she leaned up and took me again in her mouth and this time sucked me just so incredibly that I wished it would never end. I finally let loose and fell/sat backwards onto the bed and lay down across it. She giggled and crawled over on top of me and kissed me first and then pulled away and giggled again as she let a string of my cum drip from her mouth to mine - to which she followed with her own tongue which shared the rest of my load. The look on her face as we kiss passionately is just bliss.
Crap - no time now to continue.
Last night we did have our usual fun but she surprised me by deciding to remove her panties and encourage me to look at her as she fingered herself, never cumming but getting visibly wet. She teased me as she spread her legs apart and let me see all of her as she gently teased that her pussy is less and less mine and more and more Paul's - something we talked about that turned me on to think about so I know she was listening and picked up on that. I actually moved up to kneel between her legs as she lay back against the headboard and enjoyed seeing how aroused I was. It was so intense to hear and see her tell me that I don't get to "feel me this wet" and indeed, her fingers looked slick pushing all the way in and then pulling all the way back out. As I watched and stroked eagerly was when she pulled them out and then smiled as she pulled her pussy open and I could see just how wet she was inside. She teased me "too bad it's not for you" as she gently rubbed at her clit and I got to see her eyes close and she seemed to lose herself for a moment. It was so erotic to watch her. When the pleasure passed by she opened her eyes and wickedly smiled seeing how hard my cock was and how I was stroking away. Just how she looked lying there with her top still on but naked and so horny, it was so intense that I was close. As with the last few weeks, when I was about ready to burst, she leaned up and took me again in her mouth and this time sucked me just so incredibly that I wished it would never end. I finally let loose and fell/sat backwards onto the bed and lay down across it. She giggled and crawled over on top of me and kissed me first and then pulled away and giggled again as she let a string of my cum drip from her mouth to mine - to which she followed with her own tongue which shared the rest of my load. The look on her face as we kiss passionately is just bliss.
Crap - no time now to continue.
Steve,
Whatever else you might say and I might comment I have to say honestly that I'd take a bit of your 'no sex' sex most weeks of the month. In truth you're only denied in comparison to Sue. In comparison to most mid 50s married men I'd say you still do better than most. I suspect part 2 of your decision tale may impact that though.
Whatever else you might say and I might comment I have to say honestly that I'd take a bit of your 'no sex' sex most weeks of the month. In truth you're only denied in comparison to Sue. In comparison to most mid 50s married men I'd say you still do better than most. I suspect part 2 of your decision tale may impact that though.
Well played Steve. A little tease and denial for your fans!
In all seriousness, it is not important whether we like your decisions about what you are going to do. I think most of us support you whichever way you go. It is interesting that you brought up Sue's feelings about Paul outside of his human dildo persona. I have been thinking recently that she has come a very long way from early on when she used to tell you that sometimes she doesn't care for him all that much. I guess that is still there. It's good she is not about to run off with him.
I hope you have a great weekend skiing with Sue.
In all seriousness, it is not important whether we like your decisions about what you are going to do. I think most of us support you whichever way you go. It is interesting that you brought up Sue's feelings about Paul outside of his human dildo persona. I have been thinking recently that she has come a very long way from early on when she used to tell you that sometimes she doesn't care for him all that much. I guess that is still there. It's good she is not about to run off with him.
I hope you have a great weekend skiing with Sue.
Ive been waiting for Steve to hop back on here, but I wonder Knk if maybe the weekend skiing has been scuttled. If thats the part that he's sure not everyone will like or agree with.
It's hard on these threads to know when things get so cryptic and the posting starts dwindling off. I'd encourage Steve to not worry so much about pleasing the readers but living his life and just sharing with us. Plenty of us are interested in his story and how things go, no matter what direction they take.
Hoping that no matter what is going on it's good and enjoyable for Steve. After all he's the one thats got to live with the situation.
It's hard on these threads to know when things get so cryptic and the posting starts dwindling off. I'd encourage Steve to not worry so much about pleasing the readers but living his life and just sharing with us. Plenty of us are interested in his story and how things go, no matter what direction they take.
Hoping that no matter what is going on it's good and enjoyable for Steve. After all he's the one thats got to live with the situation.
Hey all - so we are heading off to ski for the weekend - leaving this afternoon and unfortunately that doesn't leave me much time to update here.
This is definitely a weekend for us so we're both looking forward to it - both for some skiing as well as some alone time afterwards.
We have and are continuing to talk about everything but we have also come to some mutual understandings. She's no longer pushing for me to try to explain why I feel as I do - she says that she understands enough to make her believe that I truly have these feelings and has said that I shouldn't torture myself trying to figure them out or to explain them. What we both agree is that even with the denial and beta-stuff we are enjoying (yes, enjoying) that we both agree that we need some alone time and this weekend is one for us. She's already teased me by packing 4 condoms and knowing I'll likely only need 2 of them while we're away.
I wish I had more time but I need to get some work done before we take off this afternoon. If time permits I'll post more - but things are becoming more clear here as well as seeming to move back towards the overall easiness we had been feeling together.
This is definitely a weekend for us so we're both looking forward to it - both for some skiing as well as some alone time afterwards.
We have and are continuing to talk about everything but we have also come to some mutual understandings. She's no longer pushing for me to try to explain why I feel as I do - she says that she understands enough to make her believe that I truly have these feelings and has said that I shouldn't torture myself trying to figure them out or to explain them. What we both agree is that even with the denial and beta-stuff we are enjoying (yes, enjoying) that we both agree that we need some alone time and this weekend is one for us. She's already teased me by packing 4 condoms and knowing I'll likely only need 2 of them while we're away.
I wish I had more time but I need to get some work done before we take off this afternoon. If time permits I'll post more - but things are becoming more clear here as well as seeming to move back towards the overall easiness we had been feeling together.
Raks - to be honest, yes, but it's in a good way. Your feedback, negative or otherwise has given me/us pause for time to think and sort things out. However, I don't want to rain on your parade there because we have still been talking and both of us do want to continue, cautiously, but to continue exploring more of what we have admittedly both now found quite arousing.
We have both agreed that my taking the beta role with her is something that we both still want to do. She's made it quite clear to me that she is enjoying what she now recognizes as the alpha role sexually between us and also with Paul. But she's now aware that even though I may choose to be the beta for her, that I do still have needs, emotional and sexual that I need to share and relieve with her. We've discussed the condom use too at length now and she is fairly adamant now that she totally enjoys what using them does to us sexually, enforcing my beta role, but she also admits that it is much of what makes the sex with Paul so intense. I say she is adamant about it because at one point she actually turned to me (and I guess I'd pushed it a bit) but she actually said "it's my vagina, I'll share it with who and however I want". It was exciting to see her get so stern with me and I told her so. It is the subsequent conversations from there that led to me sharing with her that I enjoyed her taunting me with things like I'd mentioned from Wednesday night - even if they aren't even being considered, she understands that in the heat of the moment that it really turns me on to hear her say things like that. And she also has teased that "sometimes some might come true!".
But the other side of it is that she has been much more demonstrative with me too - her initiating hugging and cuddling and touching, even if not sexual. I've told her that is some of what I think we both need to feel in order to let things continue sexually with her and Paul.
Anyway - gotta run - Sue's about to finish up work and I'm picking her up on the way.
We have both agreed that my taking the beta role with her is something that we both still want to do. She's made it quite clear to me that she is enjoying what she now recognizes as the alpha role sexually between us and also with Paul. But she's now aware that even though I may choose to be the beta for her, that I do still have needs, emotional and sexual that I need to share and relieve with her. We've discussed the condom use too at length now and she is fairly adamant now that she totally enjoys what using them does to us sexually, enforcing my beta role, but she also admits that it is much of what makes the sex with Paul so intense. I say she is adamant about it because at one point she actually turned to me (and I guess I'd pushed it a bit) but she actually said "it's my vagina, I'll share it with who and however I want". It was exciting to see her get so stern with me and I told her so. It is the subsequent conversations from there that led to me sharing with her that I enjoyed her taunting me with things like I'd mentioned from Wednesday night - even if they aren't even being considered, she understands that in the heat of the moment that it really turns me on to hear her say things like that. And she also has teased that "sometimes some might come true!".
But the other side of it is that she has been much more demonstrative with me too - her initiating hugging and cuddling and touching, even if not sexual. I've told her that is some of what I think we both need to feel in order to let things continue sexually with her and Paul.
Anyway - gotta run - Sue's about to finish up work and I'm picking her up on the way.
Thanks for clarification STB. If any of my posts hurt you, I am immensely sorry. It was solely done with good intentions. But as the saying goes - the Path to hell is paved with good intentions. Anyway, I would also like to know that if I do not post on your thread, would you probably share more of your life with your readers ? If so, I will make an exit. I do not wish to come between you and your readers. I will definitely continue to visit this thread, but stop posting. May you get what you have desired STB. I have good wishes for you.
Steve,
I wouldn't expect you to but if you read my increasingly forthright posts over the last few months you will see me urging you to take stock of the reality of where you were and consider the future it takes you to. I did think the unbroken bareback record was blinding you and to a certain extent I still do but the main thing is to take stock in an unstressed way. This period will help. I hope it works. I still think you should use the voucher to do your own null hypothesis test. If you both still feel the same way about it after an honest use of it, just carry on. The desire will continue as before if you are right. If my worry has grounds, it might just reset you partly. I can't see a downside but I can see lots of upside. Do it in your own time. Not this weekend. Have a really great time away.
I wouldn't expect you to but if you read my increasingly forthright posts over the last few months you will see me urging you to take stock of the reality of where you were and consider the future it takes you to. I did think the unbroken bareback record was blinding you and to a certain extent I still do but the main thing is to take stock in an unstressed way. This period will help. I hope it works. I still think you should use the voucher to do your own null hypothesis test. If you both still feel the same way about it after an honest use of it, just carry on. The desire will continue as before if you are right. If my worry has grounds, it might just reset you partly. I can't see a downside but I can see lots of upside. Do it in your own time. Not this weekend. Have a really great time away.
Steve,
I hope your weekend gave you both what you needed and some of what you wanted. I'm sure you have been busy since returning and maybe you're still making some sense of what has happened so far this year before posting. I'm no longer judging Sue on what she says but what she actually does. If you reread your own narrative over the last 14 months in this light things do become clearer. I'd worry a little if I were you.
I hope your weekend gave you both what you needed and some of what you wanted. I'm sure you have been busy since returning and maybe you're still making some sense of what has happened so far this year before posting. I'm no longer judging Sue on what she says but what she actually does. If you reread your own narrative over the last 14 months in this light things do become clearer. I'd worry a little if I were you.
From tears in her eyes as she acknowledged what you are doing for her, she has come to ""it's my vagina, I'll share it with who and however I want"...! I sincerely hope that your story and thread doesn't become the replica of Rick and Brenda. He used to write a lot earlier and then stopped. Much later he surfaced only once and verified what we had feared all along. You have taken it farther than them....! Hope it's ok and as Peak has advised, please take a stock of situation before it goes out of hand. In my humble opinion, it has already started slipping out of your hand, but it's your call. Let us know if you enjoyed the weekend and also let us know the favors Sue got out of you during the weekend for Paul.
Yeah, still just not feeling up to snuff - enough that last night we skipped our Wednesday ritual.
Sue is seeing Paul over the weekend but not spending the night, we have not resumed that just yet despite her desire (unsaid).
What I can say while I'm still energetic enough to sit here and type is that we have pretty much agreed on a number of things. She has, as I may have mentioned already, taken a decidedly alpha-role. In the days since I first mentioned this observation to her, she's taken it a bit to heart. We've talked about my beta-ness and she says that she supports it - and as we've talked a lot about it - she is now understanding that it's only with regards to sex that I feel I am enjoying the beta status. I have expressed my feelings that we need to share love between us even if we aren't making love together. She says that since taking formal notice of her own alpha desires, that she is understanding that she has a responsibility to make sure that it is only sexually that she gives herself to Paul.
Emotionally, she's 'fessed up that she does feel more than just lust for Paul - and as she explained it she said "how can I not" and I understand that. It was in the subsequent discussions that she explained how empowered she feels - to wit her "it's my vagina" comment and she's made it very clear that she loves how it feels to know she is controlling herself - as she's said that when she will get undressed in front of me that she likes knowing how it makes me feel to see her but know that she is the one who will decide if and how we have sex together. I have been honest and told her that I do still feel that I want her to fulfill her sexual needs and desires with Paul - and she says she's stopped thinking about it so much and just accepting it - and yes - enjoying it!!!!
Have to run right now - but hopefully more later.
Sue is seeing Paul over the weekend but not spending the night, we have not resumed that just yet despite her desire (unsaid).
What I can say while I'm still energetic enough to sit here and type is that we have pretty much agreed on a number of things. She has, as I may have mentioned already, taken a decidedly alpha-role. In the days since I first mentioned this observation to her, she's taken it a bit to heart. We've talked about my beta-ness and she says that she supports it - and as we've talked a lot about it - she is now understanding that it's only with regards to sex that I feel I am enjoying the beta status. I have expressed my feelings that we need to share love between us even if we aren't making love together. She says that since taking formal notice of her own alpha desires, that she is understanding that she has a responsibility to make sure that it is only sexually that she gives herself to Paul.
Emotionally, she's 'fessed up that she does feel more than just lust for Paul - and as she explained it she said "how can I not" and I understand that. It was in the subsequent discussions that she explained how empowered she feels - to wit her "it's my vagina" comment and she's made it very clear that she loves how it feels to know she is controlling herself - as she's said that when she will get undressed in front of me that she likes knowing how it makes me feel to see her but know that she is the one who will decide if and how we have sex together. I have been honest and told her that I do still feel that I want her to fulfill her sexual needs and desires with Paul - and she says she's stopped thinking about it so much and just accepting it - and yes - enjoying it!!!!
Have to run right now - but hopefully more later.
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