Hello everyone.
Im not sure if this is the appropriate place to put this. I'm not a cuckold and never even knew what cuckolding is until just recently when I did a search for 'girlfriend dating another guy'
I mostly just want to get all this off my chest and see what you guys think of the situation.
To start off with im Geoff, 19 and my girlfriend is JoAnn 18.
She moved here with here parents a few blocks away around 6 years ago and started seeing eachother pretty quickly. She didnt know anyone else in the area so I kinda lucked out, shes so pretty im sure that in any other circumstance she would have been dating the popular guys and such.
Were both virgins since her parents were pretty religious and she has had this princess fantasy of waiting until marriage and then everything being all perfect. I love her, so im fine with that. Sure, I'm horny all the time but it will all be worth it.
Like I said, im not a cuckold nor do I have those desires. Actually the thought of her with another guy disgusts me. Makes me want to throw up.
But it looks like that may be where we are headed.
She eventually made some girly friends through highschool, a few of which i didnt like, and they didnt like me back. They were gossip mean girl types. They kept trying to get her to break up with me so she could date within their social cirle.
As time went on, i got to know the other girls a bit too, even becoming 'friends' with one of them. Andrea. She started out trying to break us up, telling me that we 'dont belong together' or 'obvously aren't a good match'. Eventually though she realised that we loved eachother and since we were all friends she accepted it, unlike some of the other girls.
Anyway, I moved away, about a 30-40 minute drive away whhich isnt terrible but really makes things difficult. theres a communinity college where i moved too and i was able to get a pretty good entry-level job. Between the Classes and the work though I don't have much time to spend with Joann.
To make matters worse, JoAnn doesnt have a drivers license or have a car. She was never really interested in driving but she took the test a few times and failed so she gave up.
That means any time I want to hang out with her I have to drive home to go get her.
We have kinda a scheduled 'date night' on Saturday. Weve been going out on this day for years but recently with the workload ive been too tired, and ive cancelled a few of our date nights.
Well one week we were planning to go out on Saturday and see a move she was really interested in. We were both excited to have the day off and enjoy ourselves. Unfortunately my boss asked me to work on Saturday.
I tried to get out of it but failed. The job sucks, but I really dont want to lose this job it pays good for what it is.
When I told Joann she was really disappointed. I suggested that she go out with her friends or someone. She cried and accused me of not caring about her and hung up.
That was on Friday and I was at work, but when I got off I drove home to see her. I took her to my dads house and we cuddled on the couch for a long time and she said she was sorry for being mean. She understands that this is an important time in our lives building our wealth and experience.
After a while my dad came into the living room and asked what was up. We told him about the cancelled date and the movie.
She said she would go on her own if she could but she cant drive. So my dad volunteered to take her. He wanted to see the movie anway.
So he took her out on Saturday to the movie.
This is where things start to break down.
When they were there at the theatre, one of the gossip girls saw them there. Joann didnt think anything of it at the time.
Later on, a few weeks later the same thing happened, boss wants me to work on saturday again.
She was disappointed, so I asked if dad could take her out again.
They went to another movie (theres really not much else to do in town).
This time, several of the gossip girls were there. They approached and pulled JoAnn away to the bathroom to talk to her.
"OMG is that your new boyfriend JoAnn?
"No he's my B-"
"I DIDN'T KNOW YOU WERE INTO OLDER GUYS!"
"HE'S HOT"
"no he's Geoff's dad"
"OMG your dating your ex's DAD?"
The rumor had got around already that they were dating.
She tried to convince them otherwise, but they were relentless.
Later on on the phone, she cried about the situation. I don't really know how to help.
So rumor got around that she and I had broken up and she was dating. She was asked out a few times even.
It got out of hand fast.
One day, all of the girls got together and did their best to convince her to date others. A few of them, Mandy and Carol, were especially mean. Joann said they put me down and called me names. They said that now is the best time for her to date around since everone already thinks we are broken up.
The wost part is when she got home that night. Her parents talked to her and said they knew that she and I had broken up. To her surprise they were happy to hear that. Since Im not a mormon like them they want her to date only mormon guys. Her mom even suggested a few guys from the temple.
The pressure really started getting to her. I think she started to doubt us because she would call up crying saying a guy had asked her out or that her friends or parents had introduced her to a guy. She asked if we really had a future. I cried too, I assured her that I love her and well get married as soon as im done with college and have money for a house.
Eventually Andrea called me and wanted to talk. We had a long conversation about JoAnn. She said that she knows I love Joann, but she really needs to date others.
Here's some of our dialog i can remember:
Me: "why?"
Her: "because she's lonely. She only goes out with you maybe once a month anymore."
Me: "I know it's hard on her" I replied. "It's hard on both of us, but its only until i'm done with college and we can afford a house"
Her: "And how long will that be? Years? Have you looked at house prices?"
Me: "I'm sure we can make it work. We're soul mates"
Her: "How do you know? She hasn't date anyone else, neither have you. How can she know whether you're a good catch or not?"
Me: "I don't know.. I just don't Know" I started to cry a bit
Her: "Look Geoff, I get it. I understand you are scared to lose her. Hell, there's a good chance you WILL lose her, she's way out of your league, but that's the risk that needs to be taken for love. If she truly loves you, she will date around and come back to you. Like they say, if you love it set it free."
Me: "I don't know. Maybe you're right. What do you think I should do now?"
Her: "Geoff, to be honest, you both need to take a break for a while. You can still see and talk to eachother, you just won't be 'officially' together. She will be 'single'. and to be honest, everyone thinks that's how it already is at the moment, so it won't be much of a step to make it official"
Me: "I need to think about this for a bit. Thank you Andrea"
So I thought about it for a couple weeks actually. I cried a lot and had a big pit in my stomach at the thought of her dating.
I knew I could pull it all back together though. I decided I was for sure going to get all Saturdays off and restart our 'date night'.
I also decided to church a bit, to at least appease her parents.
It went fine, for all of 1 week.
Come the 2nd Saturday, and there is an ice storm. I promise to take her out 2 times the next week, but I can't get time off, and then on Friday, with Saturday just around the corner, I fall off a ladder and hurt my leg pretty bad. I kinda fell back and my leg got caught between rungs.
The last thing that happened is on Facebook one day, I saw she had posted a group photo of her and a bunch of friends. She was standing next to a guy I didn't recognize, and had a big smile on her face.
Her smile just warmed my heart. It was a smile that I hadn't seen in a long time. Right then I knew this wasn't about me. It was about her. She is lonely and suffering right now, and she needs a man in her life. I can't be that man. At least not right now.
With a terrible feeling in my stomach, I called her up and told her of my convo with Andrea. She had also talked with Andrea.
I told I wasn't sure if Andrea was right or not, but maybe its a good idea for her to see others.
Her "Does this mean you want to break up?" She started to cry
Me: "No I love you I want to stay with you forever. Honestly, I don't want you to date others. I hate the thought. But you're miserable right now. You're a social person, you need to get out meet people and have fun. I can't give you that right now, not with work and college".
Her: I love you
Me: I love you too. I started to cry also.
Me: What do you think?
Her: Andrea and Carol and the others want me to date others.They don't like you. But Im not sure what I want.
Me: Well just know that the decision is up to you. I love you and will support you no matter what.
Her: Are you sure? What about you, I don't want you dating anyone else.
Me: I'm yours, forever. I have no desire to be with anyone else.
So it was out in the open now.
I redoubled my efforts to see her more often and go on dates. I Started to go see her over the weekdays after work. Problem was i didn't get to see her for long before I had to take the 40 minute trip back. It also cost a lot in gas.
It all came to a head when she went out with her girlyfriends.
She thought it was just a girls night out but they all brought their boyfriends, and another guy. They kinda ****** Joann to be this guys date. She said the guy was attractive but it was awkward and she was mad at them.
The pressured her into seeing him a few more times though.
One day she called and was crying when i answered.
Me: Are you okay? Whats the matter?
Her: Are you sure your fine with me seeing other guys?
Me: Well I don't like the thought but I'll love you no matter what. Why?
Her: Please dont be mad
Me: I'm not mad, what happened?
Her: Carol made me go out with that guy again, and he kissed me in the retaurant. He took a selfie when he kissed me and posted it online.
She started to sob
Me: WTF? He ****** you to kiss him? Who is this guy? I'll talk to him.
Her: I..I'm fine with the kiss, but now everyone that sees the picture thinks im a slut!
Me: No, your not a slut. Nobody thinks that you only kissed him.
Her: And your not mad?
Me: No, I love you and im not mad.
In reality I was about ready to throw up. I was so mad that he kissed her. Shes MY GIRL.
She never went out with that guy again, and she got really mad at the girlfriends for setting her up with him. Andrea backed her up and defended her.
Things cooled down for a bit and then they started brainstorming on what other guys they can set her up with.
The next day I received a call from Andrea:
Me Hey how's it going?
Her: Fine thanks for asking. I'm glad you're letting JoAnn free. She deserves this.
Me: I hope it's the right thing. She seems to have ligtened up a bit but the kissing photo really scared her. Shes paranoid that everyone thinks shes a slut.
Her: and how are you holding up?
Me: Im terrible. I about threw up when I learned that you had set her up with a guy, and I can't think of anything else since. I cant concentrate.
Her: It will get better. I promise. Youre a good man for doing
this.
At this point she started to tell me everything from the previous girls night out. Then she told me something that really got me:
Her: Listen Geoff... The reason I called is that we think we've found another guy for JoAnn. We think he's perfect.
Me: uhh.. Ok
I started feeling the butterflies in my stomach again. my brain telling me "omg not again"
Her: I just wanted to check with you first... to see if you're alright with him.
Me: Alright with who?
Her: JoAnn was a bit freaked by it at first, but I think she started getting excited by the idea.
Me: Oh my god are you telling me you're setting her up with a girl?
Her: What? No! Geoff... I'm talking about your dad.
Me: What about my dad?
Her: We've decided to set JoAnn up with your dad.
It took a good 10 seconds to sink in
Her: Geoff are you still there?
I started to wretch a bit, I rushed to the toilet and threw up.
I was shaking.
I sat down and just stared at the wall for about 5 minutes.
When I looked at my phone the call had ended.
I called Andrea back
Her: are you okay?
Me: i don't know. oh my god... I don't know.
I started breathing hard again
Her: please calm down, take deep breaths.
Me: Why would you want to set her up with my dad?
Her: Well we were brainstorming, and naming off guys. She kept shooting us down, but then I remembered seeing them both at the theatre months ago. They looked so cute and she looked so happy. I threw it out there as an idea and the rest of the girls ran with it.
Me: Andrea, he's my dad hes like 30 years older than her no way she'll go for that.
Her: Well... JoAnn thought we were joking at first but we
pressed her and got her to admit he's hot. She's already comfortable with him from know him through you, so it's perfect!
She said it with an excited tone like it was the brightest idea ever.
Me: No.. Andrea please not my dad. This is... just please no.
Her: JoAnn seemed receptive to the idea. Geoff, please. JoAnn needs this.
Me: Andrea I just cant...
Her: She needs this, you said you would set her free, didnt you?
Me: yes but... not my dad.
Her: You don't even have to think about them as dating, just pretend they were going out like earlier.
Me: No Andrea, that's too weird, and no way dad will accept it. I'm sure he sees her as like a daughter by now.
Her: Geoff. Do you love her or not?
Me: I do. But...
Her: Geoff, If you love her, then do this for her.
Me: I do love her. I don't know If I can Andrea. I don't know.
It was the biggest shock of my life.
I talked to JoAnn about it.
Me: Why my dad JoAnn? Why?
Her: I'm sorry he's the only one we could think of.
She started to cry
Me: This is so disgusting! How could you even find him attractive?
Her: I don't know! I know I'm so messed up! Do you still love me?
Me: Yes. I love you no matter what.
Me: You will always love me though, right? We're still getting married, you will never REALLY leave me will you?
Her: Yes your my 1 and only.
I literally got no work done for the next week. I couldn't believe this was being discussed.
I was confident there was no chance of it happening, and that was my only solace.
Another week passed, and Andrea called again.
Her: Geoff I'm sorry for putting you through this. I know it
must be terrible.
Me: It is, I hate it.
Her: but you love her right?
Me: Yes.
Her: and you'll do anything for her, right?
Me: y..yes
Her: Geoff... This is hard to ask but, we don't know how to approach asking your dad out. We... We would like you to ask him out for JoAnn.
Now she wanted me to set my dad up with my soul mate, my queen, the love of my life.... How could this be happening? Why me?
Through the next week i tried to talk to my dad several times. I never could actually hit the 'call' button though.
I knew one thing though, If I talked to him about this... It had to be over the phone. No way I could talk to him about this face to face.
Over lunch one day I was thinking about what I would say. Thoughts filling my head trying to think of everything, to somehow actually ghet the words to say to him. I held my phone up, I had the number dialed and just stared at it. Suddenly a loud bang scared me and I dropped the phone but caught it before hitting the ground. I had acidentally hit the 'call' button. Before I realised it I heard a "Hello" from the speaker.
"Oh shit!"
I didn't know what to say, nothing can prepare you for this. Nothing can prepare you to ask your own dad out for your girlfriend.
Me: Hi dad
Him: Hi what's going on?
I decided I couldn't tell him I was doing this willingly. I don't know why, but I had to lie. I couldn't tell him I was just letting the love of my life date others.
Me: uhh.. dad this is really hard to say.
Him: What?
Me: I...well...I uhh
I took a few deep breaths
Him: are you okay?
Me: Dad, do you remember a few months back when I told you about the rumors that JoAnn and I had broken up?
Him: Yeah. You said those were false though
Me: Well, they were, but now we've decided to take a break.
Since I can't see her as much as I would like.
Him: Wow, well I'm sorry to hear that bud. How are you taking it?
Me: (Lie) I'm taking it alright, I still see her as a friend. But we're through
Him: Well another will come along. Do you plan to get back together later?
I avoided his question...
Me: Dad... the reason I called... It's about the new guy her friends want her to date...the guy she wants to date.
Him: Who is it? Is he a bad guy?
Me: No dad, it's you.
Him: What's me?
Me: She wants to date you.
Him: What? Me?
He laughed it off like a joke and said something about his age.
Me: Dad I'm serious. This is really hard for me to do
Him: I don't know what to say.
Me: she was too shy to talk to you herself.
I was so convinced he would say no, I mean how could he be attracted to a girl 30-40 years younger than him?
But... long conversation short, I guaranteed him I was fine with her dating....THEM dating if he wanted to. I lied and told him that her and I were completely over. How could I have told him I was still interested while at the same time asking him out for her? Such a screwed up situaiton.
I was devestated when he told me he wouldnt mind going for a few dates with her. I desperately hoped it was only a few dates.
I gave him her number... and it went from there.
I don't know the exact timeline for all this. But they've been going out for at least a month now.
Her friends, especially Andrea, are ecstatic. I'm a total wreck. I can't tell you how much grief i've been through. I cant think straight half the time. I cry about every night now.
Because of this situation I got into, I can't even really take JoAnn out much anymore, because dad might find out. He thinks I'm out of the game entirely.
and I absolutely HATE the thought that she might lose her virginity to him. I don't know If I could stand that.
I dont know what I hsould have done. Maybe I could have just said NO from the beginning, no dating others. Just be patient and we can be together. but... I saw all the relationships around be breaking up. The long distance relationships... I knew I had to do something, but maybe this is worse.
I would appreciate any thoughts you have.
