Opinions solicited - can it be done?!?

[cuckhopeful]

Here is my situation -

I've been happily married for five years. Our first kid is on the way. I am feeling great about my life and our relationship, and I have been secretly jacking off to cuckold porn for about 2 years.

I think I am almost at the point of letting my wife in on my fantasy. My only hesitation comes in about the 5 minutes after I blow my load, I think to myself "I could never do that." Other than that, I love the thought. I think about it at work, at home, I think about her getting nailed by the best man at our wedding, our muscular neighbor, or the manager of my department.

I am very secure in our relationship, and secure about myself. In fact, I'm not really into the whole humiliation, emasculation angle. I just like the thought of watching my getting pounded by someone else with a big smile on her face.

She is very reserved in person, but a little kinky in bed. If I do this, I figure I'll wait till we have our kid, wait a few months for her to recover and things to get back to normal, and then drop the bomb. Maybe when we are having a very intimate moment, I'll just tell her that I think about it when I jerk off. Then I'll start asking her to tell me about her ex's. Then I'll ask her to start calling me someone else's name... and just gradually work her into it. Just tell her she is free to do what she wants as long as she tells me about it, and then after she does it a few times, ask her to let me watch.

So, thoughts are solicited. Should I do it? Can I handle this by just not blowing a load while watching it? Will I regret it forever? Thanks in advance!

 

[sojourner.q]

Only flaw I see in your plan is the part about everything getting back to normal after the baby is born. Hate to be the one to break it to you, but....things ain't going to get back to normal for a lot of years I'm afraid.

Also, in my opinion the idea about telling her what you jack off to may back-fire. If she's at all insecure, she may wonder why you're jerking off ... you know, is it her??? what's wrong with me?? It might be an easier intro to say something positive and reaffirming like, " you know, I'm so lucky to have you as my wife...I often think about all those guys you've been with and I'm the one you chose....but, I'm glad you got to experience other men, etc... That might open some doors for her to feel comfortable talking about past lovers and such, at which time you can let her know that for some reason that really turns you on.

Best of luck!

 

[jmexpat]

Don't do it... you will be sorry. Rais your kid, shre your wife as a hotwife, but leave it as that. Do you really want to get into all these other guys controlling your wifeAND your life. Sure, it's agood fantasy when your jerkin the gerkin, but as you said, when you blow your load, reality sets in. Keep it a fantasy dude, your better off

I am sure all the committed die hard cucks will tell you different, but think about it, it's justa crazy dangerius and will wreck your life

 

[slinky67]

hmmm

Be careful what you wish for my friend...the dynamic in your own head changes very quickly once you have squirted into a tissue while watching it and then become lessened with the desire of the whole thing...only to then realise they are far from ready to stop going at it and you have to then sit through it for what can seem ages until he is ready to let go of his load.

Remember, once the genie is out of the bottle it cant be put back in.

I live this life, cause i feel i need to...but it has cost me two wonderful relationships as well.
I see it as high risk/high gain...and have lost a few times, cost me a tonne of money, mental health, sexual performance etc. so please think about it very carefully.

 

[Sevwin]

Are you sure that you're sure that you're sure that this isn't just something you like whacking off to? Fantasy and reality are two very different things. Could you handle it if she were to just go out and cheat on you right now? Whatever you want to call it, that is what she'll be doing when she cucks you. Everyone loves the thought of their hot wife in all sorts of sexy scenarios, but having a dream and living the dream are two completely different things.

 

[cuckhub05]

I am one of those"diehard cucks" jmexpat was talking about...lol and I think you should definitely talk to your wife about your desire to be cuckolded.If youand your wie love one another, you should never be afraid to talk about your desires, sexual or otherwise..and you never know..she may have the same deires or fantasies.Even if she never actually does it, talking about it before or during sex could provide exciement for both of you.If she does do it though,I can tell you that the reality is far more exciting than the fanatsy..and it is doubtful it will ruin your marriage if yohave a good relaationship to begin with and iis simething you have agreed upon in advance.Cheating can ruin a mariage..bu it is the break of trust more than the sex that does it.

I haave to agree with sojourner though thatit may well be alot longer thhan aa few monts before things get "back to normmal" and she has the energy or desire to even have sex with you,much less anyone else witth a new baby to take care of..One way you might use that to your advantage, owever, is to tell her you want to take over takingcar eof the baby one nigt a week and giive her the "evening off" to go out with her girlfirends, or t o a movie,,or whatever she likes.. and ten bring up your fantasy of her cucklding you,and suggest she could do that onher nights off..

I also agree that tellingher youfantaisize about being cuckoldde while jerking off may not be the best way to go..You might try askingher what her fantaisis are..and then .mos t likely,,she will ask you yours...and viola..your opening.

 

[Susan's Slave]

Now is not the time. Your wife is seething cauldron of hormones right now and you don't want to introduce anything into your relationship that might cause her to believe you don't love her.

I would wait a couple of years until the baby able to sleep through the night and your wife is ready to start thinking about the possibiliy of having another. Then introduce it slowly as a fantasy. Enjoy the fantasy for now and keep your mouth shut. By the way, you will have plenty of quality time with your tissue once the baby is born and your bride is exhausted all the time.

 

[duke9555]

nice tits ...

 

[lluucckkyyddoogg]

Yeah it can be done

About 5 years ago I was in your position, man. Minus the baby on the way, tho. I read all the how to type posts and articles I could find and did some thinking on my own. But the big thing was coming to terms with those complex emotions right after whacking off. The thing I realized is that the sex with another guy thing can't be about ME getting MY rocks off, it has to be be about HER and about me loving her while she has a good time.

It took me 4 years of laying the ground work to get it to a point where I thought she would go for it and more importantly where I was certain that I could live with it.

I've told parts of my story here and there, but I really should put it all down for myself and for others who are serious about this.

The truth is that I can't tell you what to do with your wife since I don't know her at all. But I think it's safe to say that when she's pregnant is the worst time to spring your plans for a kinky sex life on her. Most women will assume that you want to sleep with other women and that the having her have sex with other men step is part of the plan for you to take a mistress.

Instead, start where I started. Tell her when she looks good. Tell her when you see other guys looking at her. She needs to feel confident that you are not jealous. And one other best ways to start is what others have suggested. When you're in an intimate sexy moment with her, have her tell you the story of how she lost her virginity or some other sexual moment from her past. My wife was wary since we had told those stories to each other before, but after she retold it I said something like, "I don't know why, but that story just turns me on. That's one other the things I've loved about you from the start, how sexual you are."

Good luck, and keep whacking off for now.

 

[bigmane]

I agree with most comments here. if you love your kid, don't do it for awhile yet. I've kept shtum about enjoying my wife having extramarital encounters, partly because I love our baby and won't cause the insecurity or trouble in its' life that it would cause, and also in my case that, because of what has been agreed before marriage, even tho' she's done it, she hasn't strictly done anything wrong or betrayed me- because of what is agreed. But a little kid doesn't need the family boat rocking, especially for selfish sexual reasons of its' parents.

 

[Custer Laststand]

Cuckhopeful,

Susan's Slave, and others who posted along similar lines, have given you good advice.

Now is not the time. Your wife is seething cauldron of hormones right now and you don't want to introduce anything into your relationship that might cause her to believe you don't love her. I would wait a couple of years until the baby is able to sleep through the night and your wife is ready to start thinking about the possibiliy of having another. Then introduce it slowly as a fantasy.

During the lead-up to giving birth your wife will most likely be VERY concerned with maintaining her relationship with you and seeing a solid future for her marriage. She'll likely be most responsive to expressions from you of love, commitment and support. If you start talking in terms of her adopting "kinky" sexual behaviors with potential for disastrous consequences (in her view), that would most likely cause her to become upset... perhaps very upset... and deeply worried. That isn't something you want to inflict on your wife AND her baby-to-be.

Enjoy the fantasy for now and keep your mouth shut.

I agree.

By the way, you will have plenty of quality time with your tissue once the baby is born and your wife is exhausted all the time.

Ain't that the truth. With a new baby to care for, to say "sex will no longer be your wife's first priority" would be a vast understatement (unless she's really unusual). Both of your lives will be fundamentally changed.

Thanks for the photo, BTW. Your wife is an attractive woman. She will have good potential, IMO, for attracting lovers should she decide to do so at some point in the future. But, now is not the time.

—Custer

 

[Saraha]

Your mind is now programmed for you to become a great cuckold, and I think you will instinctly feel when it is the right time to introduce her to the lifestyle. Continue to imagine that you are already a cuckold, so your persona will slowly change and your wife will notice/like the changes in you.

It is important for you to put your wife on a pedestal and allow her to make the majority of decisions in your marriage, subtly at first, but asking her advice more and more until she feels that anything she wishes to do will be okay by you because she is the Boss.

You become a cuckold by acting the role, and she slowly takes over control of the marriage almost without realising at first. You don't tell your wife you wish to be a cuckold, you act as though you already are.

 

[sptbj2]

I agree with the majority of other posters. Enjoy your wife and new baby now. You'll find that this is one of the best times of your life. Keep fantasizing and reading here on cuckolds.com. Think about whether you really want this lifestyle. Like Sahara said, "you will instinctly feel when it is the right time to introduce her to the lifestyle." My guess is that now is not the right time.

 

[IndyHubby]

A couple of differences.

I agree with the majority of other posters. Enjoy your wife and new baby now. You'll find that this is one of the best times of your life. Keep fantasizing and reading here on cuckolds.com. Think about whether you really want this lifestyle. Like Sahara said, "you will instinctly feel when it is the right time to introduce her to the lifestyle." My guess is that now is not the right time.

Many women suffer from postnatal (aka postpartum) depression after having a baby. They often have little or no interest in sex after the baby is born. You may have to work through that first. Some go in the opposite direction. If that's the case, it could be easy to "open the door" to cuckolding.

My first wife was in the latter group and started cuckolding me right after our daughter was born. This continued throughout our almost 24 year marriage. Before I remarried, I gently, gradually explained the lifestyle to second/current/final wife before we got married. She tried it, liked it, and we have lived a cuckold lifestyle the entire 12 1/2 years we've been married.

The real key to making it happen is to gradually build the fantasy in small bites making sure she has ample time to digest it and opportunity to act on it. It has to be a seed that grows. Never show jealousy or possessiveness. Make her feel sexy and comfortable to flirt back when someone flirts with her or makes a pass at her.

If you suddenly drop the idea in her lap, the community social values that we will all grew up with will dictate her reaction. She will act disgusted with the idea and with you (even if she has thought about it) because that is how we were all taught we should feel. It takes time for those old values to fade and new ones grow. You have to gently cultivate the idea.

One more thing to consider. Men and women are different. Depriving your wife of sex does NOT make her more inclined to look for sex with someone else that includes you.

If you want to be a cuckold, make sure she has frequent orgasms orally, manually (with your hands), or with dildos: not through intercourse with you. You want her to love sex, but feel like something is missing. And it will be, that deep orgasm that occurs when she feel a guys body next to her and inside of her. Be prepared to take a back seat to him or them.

 

[Saraha]

Yes, I agree, the more sex she has with you, the more likely she will have sex with other men when the opportunities open up.