Question about cuckoldry terminology

[GordonPym]

English is my third language, as I stated on other posts.

As I'm approaching the cuckolds community, I've some difficulties about terminology. “Hot wife”, “bull”, “cheater”, “cuckold”, “wittol”, some are quite self evident, but other are not.

For instance, I have the impression that some consider “cuckolds” only those who are aware that their partners have sex with other men, while some consider “cuckolds” those who are ******* of this.
In addition, is it relevant whether the male likes it or not?

To make things simple, please define the MALE of a stable heterosexual couple in the following situations (I assume - correct me if I’m wrong - that being officially married is irrelevant, what matters is that the relashionship is permanent):

SITUATION A:
She has secret lover(s). I underline Secret, i.e.: he is totally ******* of her behaviour

SITUATION B:
She has lover(s). He is aware of this, and dislikes the situation. Nevertheless, she continues to have lover(s)

SITUATION C:
She has lover(s). He is aware, and turned on by it.

SITUATION D:
He is turned on by the idea that his partner has sex with others than him, but - in spite he insists - she refuses, and remains monogamous.

What would you define HER in the same four situations?

Thanks a lot for helping me in improving my English
- GordonPym

 

[GordonPym]

Here are my guesses, before you give me your opinions:

HIM
Situation A: cuckold
Situation B: ?
Situation C: wittol
Situation D: wannabe cuckold

HER
Situation A: cheater
Situation B: ?
Situation C: hotwife
Situation D: wise

 

[jelous_of_wifes_bf]

Well technically a cuckold is just someone whose wife sleeps with other men, regardless of whether he knows about it or approves of it. IMHO the first three scenarios are cuckolding, the last is a wannabe cuckold/reluctant wife, a far more common situation than actual cuckolding. Hot wives are a little bit different and is in some ways closer to an open marriage/swinger situation.

 

[GordonPym]

Well technically a cuckold is just someone whose wife sleeps with other men, regardless of whether he knows about it or approves of it. IMHO the first three scenarios are cuckolding, the last is a wannabe cuckold/reluctant wife, a far more common situation than actual cuckolding. Hot wives are a little bit different and is in some ways closer to an open marriage/swinger situation.

Thank you Jelous

 

[Susan's Slave]

My answers would be:

Him; Cuckold, cuckold, wittol, frustrated.

Her: Cheater, dominant hotwife/cheater, hotwife, boring!

 

[Custer Laststand]

Gordon,

English is my third language, as I stated on other posts.

Very impressive. Few people... indeed, very few people... in the U.S., for instance, are fluent in 3 languages.

I'm having some difficulties with the terminology of the cuckold community. “Hot wife”, “bull”, “cheater”, “cuckold”, “wittol”, some are quite self evident but others are not. For instance, I have the impression that some consider “cuckolds” only those men who are aware their women have sex with other men, while others consider “cuckolds” those who are ******* of this.

Practically speaking, the situation is simpler than it seems. Any married man whose wife fucks other men is thought of, generally speaking, as a "cuckold." Few distinguish between "cuckolds" and "wittols." For example, this is not a "cuckold forum for men whose wives fuck other men and they don't like that," and there are not other "wittol forums for men whose wives fuck other men and they like that." Rather, this is a "cuckolds forum." That makes it much simpler.

In addition, is it relevant whether the married man likes it or not?

No.

I assume - correct me if I’m wrong - that being officially married is irrelevant, what matters is that the relashionship is permanent.

Technically it matters whether one is "officially married" or not. The dictionary definition is short and simple. It is,

"Cuckold: a man with an unfaithful wife."

I have thus modified your situations accordingly. The answers to almost all of your questions follow from the preceding simple, straightforward dictionary definition.

SITUATION A:
Wife has secret lover(s); husband is ******* of this.

The woman's husband is her cuckold.

SITUATION B:
Wife has lover(s). Husband is aware of this and dislikes it. Nevertheless, his wife continues to have lover(s).

The woman's husband is her cuckold.

SITUATION C:
Wife has lover(s). Her husband is aware of this and is turned on by it.

The woman's husband is her cuckold.

SITUATION D:
Husband is turned on by the idea of his wife having sex with other men, but — despite his insistence — she refuses and remains monogamous.

The woman's husband is her husband (i.e., not her cuckold).

What would you define the woman in each of these four situations?

The woman in each case is defined as a "married woman" or, more simply, a "woman." There is no formal word for a married woman who fucks men other than her husband. This may be related to there being no tradition of women "owning" their husbands analogous to the ancient religious tradition, actually continuing up to near-modern times (actually-modern times in the cases of some religions), of women being the "property" of their husbands. Thus, if a man's wife fucks other men she is defying her husband's expectation that she is his "property" but there is no disadvantage to her. Indeed, there may be an advantage to her if she bears genetically-superior children as a result.

That is, a married woman who has children (i.e., she does not use some form of birth control) knows they are genetically hers and she plays a large role in raising them, regardless of whether they are sired by her husband or by one or more of her lovers. For a woman's husband, however, there is a substantial disadvantage if her children are sired by other men, because he then must support his wife AND her children while he does not enjoy the advantage of passing his genes along to the next generation. By contrast, his wife's lovers who are the real biological fathers of her children suffer no such disadvantage. By contrast, they enjoy the sexual pleasures of fucking another man's wife AND the advantage of passing their genes along to the next generation while having to bear none of the costs.

Ergo, a man whose wife fucks other men has tended, historically, to be viewed as a fool who is being deceived by other men at substantial economic cost, not to mention social cost, to himself. The word "cuckold" is, as you may know, derived from the cuckoo bird which lays its eggs in the nests of other birds such that its chicks are raised by the other birds. (This is not as benign as it may sound. Apparently cuckoo chicks hatch early and grow rapidly, then they push the eggs containing their competitor chicks-to-be out of the nest such that they smash on the ground.)

Thanks for helping me improve my English.
- GordonPym

Hey, no problem. You English grammar, spelling and usage is better than many of those for whom English is their first language.

Incidentally, a broader discussion of the word "cuckold," above and beyond the straightforward dictionary definition cited above, can be found (for instance) here:

Cuckold - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

—Custer

 

[GordonPym]

Thank you Susan, Custer and Mac for your illuminating words, and for finding the time to reply.
- GordonPym

 

[Son of John]

There is a difference between a "Cuckold" and a "Wife-Sharer"

A cuckold has no control over whom his wife fucks with, and may not even know about it.

But a wife-sharer is a willing part of what she is doing. He may find men to fuck her, and he is usually present when they do.

The big, big difference is that the Cuckold suffers? The wife-sharer does not. In fact, he gets great pleasure from sharing his wife's naked body with other men, in whatever way he can.

 

[GordonPym]

There is a difference between a "Cuckold" and a "Wife-Sharer"

A cuckold has no control over whom his wife fucks with, and may not even know about it.

But a wife-sharer is a willing part of what she is doing. He may find men to fuck her, and he is usually present when they do.

The big, big difference is that the Cuckold suffers? The wife-sharer does not. In fact, he gets great pleasure from sharing his wife's naked body with other men, in whatever way he can.

A new entry in my dictionary!
Thanks
- GP

 

[Hank jones]

Ok never heard of a wittol. But assuming it's another language for cuckold.
I would say a,b,c are cuckolds. D is a wannabe.
The term cuck is like autism. It's umbrella that covers learning disabilties,with categories under it. Cuckolds have; hotwives, have both sub n dom wives or bulls. There are so many categories the debate could go on for yrs.
Open marriages, cheating spouses, they all blur together.
Think IMHO what makes a cuckold a cuckold regardless of how he feels about it,
Is he having sex with anyone without her approval?
Not sure how much of a debate that will start but I think that is really the defining point of a cuck. Not weather him and his wife are. But is he having sex with anyone else?
Case point: Myself, I have a hot wife that I have given full permission to have sex with anyone she wants, we agree she will use protection at all times unless cleared by me. I am NOT allowed to have sex with anyone unless we ask her permission and I hear my wife say ok. She is far more possessive then I am! LOL

 

[Oran]

Hi! I registered to ask a terminology question I've been wondering about for some time now. Recently I met a married girl on the internet and we had sex on a hotel with his husband being ******* of this.

Even though I've been with much hotter girls, this was the best sex I've ever had. I was so excited about the fact that I was having sex with somebody else's wife that I ejaculated mere seconds after she started sucking me which has never happened to me (and was quite embarrassing) but after 10 minutes of rest we had sex for 5 hours. I'm looking for more married women to repeat the experience. I my case I prefer the husband to be ******* of it.

So my question is: is there a name for what I am in this context? English is not my first language so maybe the answer is obvious to you guys but I've been unable to find it for the life of me.

 

[Oran]

Err, typo. I meant with her husband obviously Cant edit post anymore. Sorry for double posting.

 

[4julie]

A load of bull

Hi! I registered to ask a terminology question I've been wondering about for some time now. Recently I met a married girl on the internet and we had sex on a hotel with his husband being ******* of this.

Even though I've been with much hotter girls, this was the best sex I've ever had. I was so excited about the fact that I was having sex with somebody else's wife that I ejaculated mere seconds after she started sucking me which has never happened to me (and was quite embarrassing) but after 10 minutes of rest we had sex for 5 hours. I'm looking for more married women to repeat the experience. I my case I prefer the husband to be ******* of it.

So my question is: is there a name for what I am in this context? English is not my first language so maybe the answer is obvious to you guys but I've been unable to find it for the life of me.

Quite simply you are a bull in a hotwife scenario. There may be an argument that if the husband took no part that he may be a Wittol, but the more strict interpretation of that word is usually where the husband is aware his wife is having lovers but chooses to pretend it's not happening.

If you continue in the second scenario you will in fact become a cuckolder and depending on whether the husband knows or is totally ******* will depend whether HE is a Wittol or a Horned cuckold.

CUCKOLD, a husband whose wife is secretly having a sexual affair;

HORNED CUCKOLD, a husband whose wife is having an affair/s where others but not the husband is aware she is cuckolding him;

WITTOL, a husband who is aware that his wife is having sex with other men but chooses to accept this lowly role and turns a blind eye to her adultery;

HUSBAND of a HOTWIFE, a husband who knows and even encourages his wife to have sex with other men and may be present during the sex sessions.