DaveW said:
I was chatting recently with my wife (Debbie) on what attracts her with black or mixed race guy (John, someone she is close to) and she said something which I will share here.
She mentioned about the obvious thing that they are physically strong and big but she also said that being around with him, she feels more feminine. He makes her feel more assured when she is with him. She doesn’t have to worry about her surroundings (she is 5’6 and he is 6’4) and can express herself more openly, whether what she is wearing or how she is behaving even in public. She also said that she feels obligated to dress well with him and behave in a way to not let him down. They are still not couples but moving in that direction
I want to get others thoughts too and even from white women here.
Every individual and couple approach the lifestyle differently. Some people will speak from fantasy, while other speak from actual experience.
With that said, taking into consideration my own prior experiences, my than wife (now ex-wife) would agree with much of what you have details from you current wife although, her focus of attraction was not linked to the race of the men/women that she was attracted to during our marriage. Although based on your description as to what attracts your wife to black and or mixed race guys, if you remove race from the equation, your description is much more reflective of what my ex-wife had previously described. Meaning that both women prefer physically strong men that have a solid presence, full of confidence, and are on the more naturally an alpha type. My than wife (now ex-wife) would speak about the desire, the need, the preferences and how she feels when with someone that is naturally dominate. Similar to your wife, when she was with someone such as described she did feel much more feminine and felt much more assured when with someone that was naturally alpha and confident.
Similar to your wife, my than wife (now ex-wife) was on the taller side (5’6 to 5'7) and often would only date men that were much taller than she. When she was with those men, she much more confident and expressive in all aspects of life. That did include verbal expressions, clothing selections, hair style, nails (manicure/pedicure), behavior (public and private), and was accepting of suggestions (similar to what you alluded to as a feeling of obligation) to do as his man would seek of her (directly or indirectly), to make him proud of her, especially when they would go out in public.
She preferred to develop friends with benefits, and even deeper relationships with those that she was with, which is something that spooks many husbands that claim to seek this lifestyle. Observing a wife with another man outside of the bedroom can be as exciting if not more then observing them within the bedroom. There is something about the intimacy, such as the hand holding, the kissing, the type of conversation, the expressions, how she glows during the interactions and even non-sexual social nudity. I am not discounting sexual intimacy, simply saying that watching a couple connect outside of the bedroom will give you strong sense of how they will connect when they do develop that sexual intimacy as they take that relationship to the next level.
