She did it again

[wsh]

Due to our work, she currently lives at my house only on weekends. Mo to Fr she has a flat and we both work long hours.

Last weekend we had a fight. I expected to talk with her about it this weekend and did not call her during the week. On Wednesday she just gave me a short call and told me that she will meet a Polish friend of hers to cook dinner with. I don't know this guy. But she has told me about him two months ago when she went for him for a few hours bike trip. Back then I got a bit suspicious but after she told me he is just a friend and neither he nor she were interested in sexual things with each other I trusted her and nothing happened.

So I wondered why she called me just to tell me that she is going to cook with him. I assumed that this was an excuse to start a conversation about our argument, but I did not want to discuss this on the phone, so I did not talk long with her and just wish her to have fun with her cooking.

This morning she called me at work and wanted to talk again with me about our argument. I told her that we will speak in person. Then I asked her how the cooking was, she said that it was nice and that they spent time together. The way she was using this words made me suspicious and I asked whether she means cooking. She repeated „we spent time together“. I interrogated her and pice by pice the story came out. She did it again, she got fucked again by another guy!

I asked her whether she or he or both initiated it. She blamed soley him.

After eating and drinking wine they watched TV, he came close to her, then he kissed her (same as she discribed it last time with the Albanian guy).

She spent the whole night at his flat and left only the next morning. She got fucked three times in total. Since she is not on the pill, they used a condom. But she sucked his dick without condom since she does not like the rubber taste.

I wanted to know whether she was on top. She said that she was on top for a while. This shows me, that she must have been very excited, because she does this very seldom with me.

He also must have fucked her doggy style, because when I asked wheter she got in touch with his cum, she told that one time he put of the condom at the end and shot his cum all over her back.

So long story short: again she got fucked a whole night long in at least three differnt positions and covered in cum from another man.

I heared in her voice, that she did not feel well telling me this. I am sure had I not asked, she would not have told me. At least at the end she was honest. But she did not apologzie. Instead she told me that she has not feelings for him and love only me.

I asked her why she did it. She said: „I wanted to get distracted from our fight but it didn’t help . Also I felt the need to have good sex since I didn’t have it for a long time so I was kinda starving. Sorry“

 

[GehoernterEhemann]

Great. I bet they had lot of fun together.
How often did she cum?

 

[wsh]

Great. I bet they had lot of fun together.
How often did she cum?

I will ask her. Five month ago she cheated the first time with another guy. She spent an evening and the whole night with him and told me "he fucked me in total four times but cummed only three times, I cummed multiple times"

 

[wsh]

She is in quarantine but not sick. So I did not go to her this weekend. She called me and told me Wednesday he fucked her three times and she came twice. But to my suprize she was this morning not picking up the phone. now I know why. He came to her saturday evening she let him in despite the quarantine. Then he fucked her two times more, she came again twice. Next weekend I pick her up and take her home.

 

[Custer Laststand]

She is in quarantine but not sick. So I did not go to her this weekend. She called me and told me Wednesday he fucked her three times and she came twice. But to my suprize she was this morning not picking up the phone. now I know why. He came to her saturday evening she let him in despite the quarantine. Then he fucked her two times more, she came again twice. Next weekend I pick her up and take her home.

Make sure your sexy woman gets vaccinated to protect herself from the coronavirus / COVID-19. Point out to her that she won't be able to continue enjoying the pleasures of hot sex with her lover(s), nor with you, if she dies from COVID-19.

And, point out to your sexy woman that if she comes down with COVID-19 but recovers, the long-term effects of that (i.e., long COVID) may seriously reduce her ability to enjoy hot sex. In addition, make sure you get vaccinated yourself (if you have not done so already). It's important.

 

[wsh]

Both of us already had Covid-19 we were lucky, it was just like a flue for us. She was in quarantine since it is mandatory after you have been in another country.

 

[zippless]

Both of us already had Covid-19 we were lucky, it was just like a flue for us. She was in quarantine since it is mandatory after you have been in another country.

You still need to get vaccinated. The vaccine is broad spectrum and protects against the variants. You could either get sick or become a carrier and infect other people.

 

[wsh]

You cannot be a carrier while being immune. The immunity lasts for at least six to nine months. She already got vaccinated, I will get it a bit later cause after having Corona you should wait at least six months before getting vaccinated. People who had corona often have problems with the vaccination if they get it only few month after the virus.

 

[wsh]

He fucked her again.
Things changed now. She fucked this guy without warning me before, without apologizing and without trying to persuade me to give my permisson. She does not care anymore about my consent. Also new for me, the few times she fucked someone else she did this since the sex with me was not enough for her, but I always got as much sex as I wanted. Now she did not allow me to fuck her several weeks, while he fucks her.
When I ask her why she does not want to have sex with me anymore she says, she does not feel like it, since currently we are a bit in a crises.
When I asked her why she then has sex with him and whether I must be worried she has feelings for him she replies that I do not need to worry because she had not feelings for him, just would enjoy good sex without "relationship-problems".

 

[Custer Laststand]

He fucked her again. Things changed now. She fucked this guy without warning me before, without apologizing and without trying to persuade me to give my permisson. She does not care anymore about my consent.

Very good. Your woman is on the right track.

Also new for me, the few times she fucked someone else she did this since the sex with me was not enough for her, but I always got as much sex as I wanted.

Sounds like a clear message that your woman is not getting enough from you. Are you a premature ejaculator...? Or, is your woman multi-orgasmic while you are a "one and done" guy...?

Now she did not allow me to fuck her for several weeks, while he fucks her.

Obviously your woman is saying she "can't get no satisfaction" (as the Rolling Stones put it) with you.

When I ask her why she does not want to have sex with me anymore she says, she does not feel like it, since currently we are in a bit of a crises.

This does not sound good. Arguing with your woman and maintaining a state of tension while she's having an affair with another man is not a good way to repair and re-establish your relationship.

When I asked her why she then has sex with him and whether I must be worried that she has feelings for him, she replies that I do not need to worry because she [does not have] feelings for him, just [wants to] enjoy good sex without "relationship-problems."

This is a good illustration of what I just said. A good first step toward repairing your relationship would be to accept that your woman needs more (and more satisfying) sex than you can provide her with, and thus accept that she needs at least one lover, in addition to a relationship with you that involves love and acceptance, on your part, not tension and arguing.

 

[wsh]

No, we did have good sex. She mostly has multiple orgasms both with me and the guys she cheated me with.
She wanted me to marry her very fast but since we had some problems I want to wait a bit longer and first see that it works between us when we are living together (most times we had a weekend relationship). She is very emotional and reacted in an extrem way, she told me that if I don'
t marry her now I would not want her and she quit our relationship (she always does this when we have a fight and I do not take it serious anymore). But this time it is differnt. Now we see each other not every weekend but maybe only one out of two or three and she does not give any sex to me. She once even let me sleep in her bed and cuddle her, but she will never allow sex. She said we are friends only and she does not want to have sex with a friend. At the same time she continues fucking another guy just for sex. I think she still wants me but she can be very stubborn. I guess until I agree to all her terms and marry her straight away, she won't give me sex anymore but fuck other guys.

 

[Custer Laststand]

No, we did have good sex. She mostly has multiple orgasms both with me and the guys she cheated me with.

OK. Thanks for clarifying that point.

She wanted me to marry her very fast, but since we had some problems I wanted to wait a bit longer and first see that it works between us when we are living together.

In other words, she asked you to marry her but you declined. That would have been a tough rejection for your woman to take.

(Most times we had a weekend relationship.)

So, although you had a relationship, you were not living together — that being what you said you wanted (for some period of time), before deciding whether you wanted to marry her.

She is very emotional and reacted in an extreme way. She told me that if I don't marry her now I did not want her, and she [would] quit our relationship. (She always does this when we have a fight and I do not take it seriously anymore).

Not taking your woman's concerns seriously, even if expressed emotionally and perhaps in anger, was not a good way to maintain, or resurrect, a good relationship with her. She would have interpreted that as taking her for granted.

But this time it is differnt. Now we see each other not every weekend but maybe only one out of two or three [weekends], and she does not give any sex to me.

I.e., your woman carried out her threat this time, possibly because she feels she has an acceptable, perhaps even a good, alternative. And, if you see each other only once every two or three weekends, you certainly are not carrying out what she might view as "your end of the deal" — to spend some period of time living together before deciding whether you want to marry her. Also, that expressed desire on your part may have been interpreted by your woman as a desire to gain all the benefits of marriage without any of the costs.

She once even let me sleep in her bed and cuddle her, but she will never allow sex. She said we are friends only and she does not want to have sex with a friend.

She seems to consider it worthwhile, for reasons not clear from your posts, to not terminate her relationship with you entirely. My guess would be, this is her way of applying pressure to you.

At the same time, she continues fucking another guy just for sex.

That would be because.... well.... she needs and wants good sex. But, your woman's lover may not seem to her to be a good prospect as a long-term partner. There is often a difference between a man who is a good fuck, and a man who seems to a woman to be a good prospect as a long-term partner (i.e., a husband).

I think she still wants me but she can be very stubborn. I guess until I agree to all her terms and marry her straight away, she won't give me sex anymore but will fuck other guys.

My impression is, you are at least as stubborn as your woman. How long has it been since she, in effect, asked you to marry her, but you declined, saying you would like to spend "some time" living together with her — something the two of you have not done, as yet (I gather) — so you can make a decision as to whether you want to marry her?

Depending on your answer to this question (re. the amount of lapsed time), it seems to me you can either: (1) decide your relationship with your woman has not worked out, end it, and resume your search for a woman you're compatible with; or (2) agree to your woman's terms — which presumably would include her resuming her sexual relationship with you — then accept her marriage proposal and set a date (in the not-too-distant future).

 

[Custer Laststand]

No, we did have good sex. She mostly has multiple orgasms both with me and the guys she cheated me with. .......... I guess until I agree to all her terms and marry her straight away, she won't give me sex anymore but [will] fuck other guys.

What's happening with your sexy woman, wsh? Any updates....?

 

[wsh]

I am not sure what is happening and will write when I understand it. So far it looks like I am only her best and very special friend. We still feel love but also the relationship is damaged. She does not want to move on at the moment, we are both a bit tired. But we also do not give up. It is a kind of status quo for some while.... The fact that she has nobody else in her life she has feelings for and that she is not searching for somebody new, shows me, that she has not given up. She is currently busy with her career anyway and does not want to invest more time an engergy in a relationship. So we sometimes meet and go for a walk, talk, cook together.... but she does not give me sex. She sais she does not want to play with emotions. She would not want to have "sex with a friend". But when she needs sex she visits the guy I told about. She does not spent much time with him. Only goes there to get fucked and then returns. She spends in average one entire day at the weekend with me and once or twice a week an our or two with him.

 

[Custer Laststand]

I am not sure what is happening and will write when I understand it. So far it looks like I am only her best and very special friend. .......... She spends, on average, one entire day on the weekend with me and once or twice a week an our or two with him.

Hm..... sounds like an ambiguous relationship.

 

[wsh]

she is subborn and want to win every fight, she never stops. this is now the latest things that since weeks she does not give me any sex.

 

[Custer Laststand]

She is subborn and wants to win every fight. She never stops. This is now the latest thing; since weeks, she does not give me any sex.

If the potential solution of not fighting with your woman is not an option, it sounds like it's time to begin seeking another woman with whom you're more compatible.

Have you begun moving in that direction...? Or, is there a strong reason for not moving in that direction...?

 

[GehoernterEhemann]

But when she needs sex she visits the guy I told about. She does not spent much time with him. Only goes there to get fucked and then returns. She spends in average one entire day at the weekend with me and once or twice a week an our or two with him.

At least you have a satisfied gf at home

 

[AstaSilva]

She is a 10 and he is a lucky guy!