We would like her to have someone to talk about the lifestyle with. She has some friends that get very personal with her and talk about there current lovers or about sex with there husbands or bf. she would like to have someone to talk about the diff guys we have over, and the guys she keeps to herself. Also she wants to know what they would think to know that I watch and join or the fact that I actually will meet guys on my own and that I love cum. Also she wants to know if any of there husbands or if they have the urges to do any of the stuff we do. So what I am looking for is advice. Should we tell people we know or just try to find others in the lifestyle. I would find it as a major turn on to know that other women know about me. To me it would be extreamly hot to be around those women or even men for that matter and just see how they look at me and treat me. And where can you find others in the lifestyle.
Telling Freinds
- Thread starterBigcat
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- hotwife wife sharing
My advice is to resist the temptation, no matter how strong it is.
I shared some personal feelings with a couple my wife is close friends with, and wound up wishing I had just kept it to myself. It was nothing life-changing and didn't have any serious repercussions, other than perhaps changing their 'view' of me.
Sharing the most intimate details of your lives is risky, to say the least. I hope everyone has friends they can absolutely trust their lives with, but even they can't usually resist the temptation to gossip with other friends, whether they are common to the both of you or not.
I can understand the thrill and exhilaration of sharing these 'tidbits', and if it wouldn't hurt either of you, children and/or other family personally or professionally if it became common knowledge, it may make it easier to do so.
Otherwise, and alternative may be to participate in these discussions using generic terms to describe specific circumstances. As an example, if your wife has met a lover at a hotel, she could say "we" met at a hotel. The natural assumption is that it was you and her, not necessarily a lover.
I shared some personal feelings with a couple my wife is close friends with, and wound up wishing I had just kept it to myself. It was nothing life-changing and didn't have any serious repercussions, other than perhaps changing their 'view' of me.
Sharing the most intimate details of your lives is risky, to say the least. I hope everyone has friends they can absolutely trust their lives with, but even they can't usually resist the temptation to gossip with other friends, whether they are common to the both of you or not.
I can understand the thrill and exhilaration of sharing these 'tidbits', and if it wouldn't hurt either of you, children and/or other family personally or professionally if it became common knowledge, it may make it easier to do so.
Otherwise, and alternative may be to participate in these discussions using generic terms to describe specific circumstances. As an example, if your wife has met a lover at a hotel, she could say "we" met at a hotel. The natural assumption is that it was you and her, not necessarily a lover.
As to the thread topic; this is something that many of us have experiences so you are going to get a range of viewpoints although at the end of the day, only you both as a couple can make this type of decision. It should be made together as a couple and understand that there can be consequences on one side of the coin along with a greater feeling of freedom on the flip side of that same coin.
While you both would like for her to have someone to openly share the lifestyle with, it is critical to be very careful when opening up about your lifestyle choices as a couple. I would agree that it can be much more enjoyable when your lifestyle choices do not have to be hidden from those you both consider friends although sharing with the wrong friends can also impact your current friendships as you know them.
In my time within the various aspects of the lifestyle per say; I have been married multiple times, have an extended network of friends, many I would consider my friends and have had friends during each of those relationships/marriages that were the friends of the wife(s) and or were friends of our as the respective couple. I have had friends that were very conservative, some that were very socially liberal, while others were more in that none of my business crowd. So as you can image, we have had friends that were vanilla/traditional to the point of being a bit judgmental if they suspected something out of the so-called traditional norms; we also had friends which were on the other end of the spectrum that we knew were ‘swingers’; while others were more of that type that wish they had a marriage which was lifestyle orientated.
With that said, only you as a couple truly know your friends. Both ‘Nazareth’ and ‘2wheel’ made good points that you should consider.
As ‘Nazareth’ put in his post; he is recommending that you resist the temptation, no matter how strong it is. Even if you do not share truly intimate details, you and or your wife would be sharing details at a level that would be risky on various levels. This can impact how you’re close and not so close friends view you as a couple or even individually, it can impact your family and even both of you professionally if it became common knowledge.
As ‘2wheel’ put in his post; he was very straight forward by saying “NO!!! Private is private. Today's friend can be tomorrow's foe.” This is something that you should consider when deciding if and whom to open up to within your circle/network of friends.
The safest option would be to develop lifestyle friendly circle of friends for you and your wife to exchange experiences and ideas within. Now with that said, in reading your post a few times, it seems that you as a couple may have multiple motivation for opening up to close friends.
As far as my own personal experiences during my 25+ years of being within the lifestyle; it is good to find balance between discretion, privacy on an intimate level, and being able to be open about the lifestyle with selective friends so that your wife can fully enjoy the lifestyle with greater flexibility. Early on we were very selective with whom we spoke with about the lifestyle activities, we were as discrete as possible, although as you can image the word does get out even if in simple quite silent whispers that you do not directly hear yet you know they are out there. We did reach a point when my than wife opening up for the first time to some of her close friends which were not in the lifestyle. This allowed for her to do what you have indicated that your wife would like to do. Although the motivation was a bit different, as we already had lifestyle friends that we/she could speak with openly about lovers, etc. My close friends were already in the know as they were lifestyle friendly. This truly allowed for much more openness for my than wife; which allows for some guys to be included into social activities, and minimized questions when they were seen out at clubs or the moves, etc.
Yes, you do need to understand that many people will look at you differently and also treat you differently. Just my 2 cents!
While you both would like for her to have someone to openly share the lifestyle with, it is critical to be very careful when opening up about your lifestyle choices as a couple. I would agree that it can be much more enjoyable when your lifestyle choices do not have to be hidden from those you both consider friends although sharing with the wrong friends can also impact your current friendships as you know them.
In my time within the various aspects of the lifestyle per say; I have been married multiple times, have an extended network of friends, many I would consider my friends and have had friends during each of those relationships/marriages that were the friends of the wife(s) and or were friends of our as the respective couple. I have had friends that were very conservative, some that were very socially liberal, while others were more in that none of my business crowd. So as you can image, we have had friends that were vanilla/traditional to the point of being a bit judgmental if they suspected something out of the so-called traditional norms; we also had friends which were on the other end of the spectrum that we knew were ‘swingers’; while others were more of that type that wish they had a marriage which was lifestyle orientated.
With that said, only you as a couple truly know your friends. Both ‘Nazareth’ and ‘2wheel’ made good points that you should consider.
As ‘Nazareth’ put in his post; he is recommending that you resist the temptation, no matter how strong it is. Even if you do not share truly intimate details, you and or your wife would be sharing details at a level that would be risky on various levels. This can impact how you’re close and not so close friends view you as a couple or even individually, it can impact your family and even both of you professionally if it became common knowledge.
As ‘2wheel’ put in his post; he was very straight forward by saying “NO!!! Private is private. Today's friend can be tomorrow's foe.” This is something that you should consider when deciding if and whom to open up to within your circle/network of friends.
The safest option would be to develop lifestyle friendly circle of friends for you and your wife to exchange experiences and ideas within. Now with that said, in reading your post a few times, it seems that you as a couple may have multiple motivation for opening up to close friends.
As far as my own personal experiences during my 25+ years of being within the lifestyle; it is good to find balance between discretion, privacy on an intimate level, and being able to be open about the lifestyle with selective friends so that your wife can fully enjoy the lifestyle with greater flexibility. Early on we were very selective with whom we spoke with about the lifestyle activities, we were as discrete as possible, although as you can image the word does get out even if in simple quite silent whispers that you do not directly hear yet you know they are out there. We did reach a point when my than wife opening up for the first time to some of her close friends which were not in the lifestyle. This allowed for her to do what you have indicated that your wife would like to do. Although the motivation was a bit different, as we already had lifestyle friends that we/she could speak with openly about lovers, etc. My close friends were already in the know as they were lifestyle friendly. This truly allowed for much more openness for my than wife; which allows for some guys to be included into social activities, and minimized questions when they were seen out at clubs or the moves, etc.
Yes, you do need to understand that many people will look at you differently and also treat you differently. Just my 2 cents!
