The missing component

[2wheel]

I'll set the stage. I've been with my wife for 25 years, married for 7. She was a slut before I met her having had more than 300 partners. Sex was great. Gradually she began to sexually withdraw until now when I swear she's trying to regain her virginity. I keep trying without success, a few HJ's here and there, that's about it. Now that doesn't mean she ins't having sex, it just means she's not having sex with me.

In my frustration I have hooked up with another woman. Last we met I suggested her having sex with another guy and while I was present. Basically she said she'd have t think about it. A few days later she said sure a threesome sounds like fun. I had to clarify that it wouldn't be a threesome it'd be a twosome and voyeur. She was surprised to say the least. Now to the issue.


I didn't get the thrill as when I discussed this with my wife over the years, no erection, no fast pulse, no heart pounding, no sweats, no imaginary fantasy.

I realized that what was missing was the emotional component. She is just a body for sex, a cum-dumpster if you will. Though the definition of cuckold is:
a man whose wife is unfaithful. (Webster)
Cuckold historically referred to a man with an adulterous wife, but has largely fallen out of use. The term generally refers to a sexual fetish in which sexual gratification is gained from maintenance or observation of sexual relations by a woman with a man or a number of men besides her husband. (Wikipedia)

Cuckold seems to be interchangeable with Hotwife. Again here is that rub. The emotional component. Another man having sex with ones wife, the love of a man's life, that woman for whom he would do most anything. Rather than just a woman.

 

[Cabron]

In my frustration I have hooked up with another woman. Last we met I suggested her having sex with another guy and while I was present. Basically she said she'd have t think about it. A few days later she said sure a threesome sounds like fun. I had to clarify that it wouldn't be a threesome it'd be a twosome and voyeur. She was surprised to say the least. Now to the issue.


I didn't get the thrill as when I discussed this with my wife over the years, no erection, no fast pulse, no heart pounding, no sweats, no imaginary fantasy.

I realized that what was missing was the emotional component.

Interesting observation there 2wheel and I think you're spot-on, at least as it relates to some of us, our adventures, our women.

My longtime girlfriend (hotwife) left me in early Dec and hasn't returned. At the time she was fucking one or two guys a week and taking lots of high quality photographs for me while she was with these guys.

Discussing and planning her upcoming adventures with her, waiting patiently while she was away, and then having her share the results of her activites upon her return was such a rush. Just recently I realized that I stayed hard all the time and she was about all I could think about.

Today, while I've got another young lady who wants to pick up the slack, it's just not the same, at least not yet and I suspect the missing link is that the emotional connection with her is just not there yet.

 

[2wheel]

Cabron, there is the other hand which you experienced, wherein she becomes emotionally attached to her new found partner and he becomes her lover then morphs into her love. Result you're out he's in.

So grounds rules need to be set. No overnights, no trips, no repeat performances, OTO. Just keep to opportunity to a minimum.

Ultimately if it's meant to be - it's meant to be.

But you are lucky to find 2 in a row, most men can't find 1 in a row.

 

[Cabron]

Cabron, there is the other hand which you experienced, wherein she becomes emotionally attached to her new found partner and he becomes her lover then morphs into her love. Result you're out he's in.

So grounds rules need to be set. No overnights, no trips, no repeat performances, OTO. Just keep to opportunity to a minimum.

Ultimately if it's meant to be - it's meant to be.

But you are lucky to find 2 in a row, most men can't find 1 in a row.

Well, honestly 2wheel, I'm not one for much rule-setting, either for "her" or for me. Also, being the hard-headed and independent woman that she is, she was always going to do pretty much what she wanted anyway. That never bothered me, and still doesn't.

My credo has always been that if someone wants to be with me, they can be with me, if they find something better, so be it. That was apparently the case with Karla in this instance. I hope she's happy and has found something that will last for her though her history is one of relatively short and shallow relationships.

Finally, "no overnights, no trips" etc just wasn't workable for us. This is a very small town and the only way she was going to have the number of lovers she wanted was to be able to travel, stay overnight, and, on occassion, see the same guy more than once.

 

[2wheel]

There is no viable solution. I continue to discuss the issues in hopes she will come around. If not things will continue as is.

Disfunction at home, she winds up sharing me. Until............

 

[cuckhub05]

I'll set the stage. I've been with my wife for 25 years, married for 7. She was a slut before I met her having had more than 300 partners. Sex was great. Gradually she began to sexually withdraw until now when I swear she's trying to regain her virginity. I keep trying without success, a few HJ's here and there, that's about it. Now that doesn't mean she ins't having sex, it just means she's not having sex with me.

In my frustration I have hooked up with another woman. Last we met I suggested her having sex with another guy and while I was present. Basically she said she'd have t think about it. A few days later she said sure a threesome sounds like fun. I had to clarify that it wouldn't be a threesome it'd be a twosome and voyeur. She was surprised to say the least. Now to the issue.


I didn't get the thrill as when I discussed this with my wife over the years, no erection, no fast pulse, no heart pounding, no sweats, no imaginary fantasy.

I realized that what was missing was the emotional component. She is just a body for sex, a cum-dumpster if you will. Though the definition of cuckold is:
a man whose wife is unfaithful. (Webster)
Cuckold historically referred to a man with an adulterous wife, but has largely fallen out of use. The term generally refers to a sexual fetish in which sexual gratification is gained from maintenance or observation of sexual relations by a woman with a man or a number of men besides her husband. (Wikipedia)

Cuckold seems to be interchangeable with Hotwife. Again here is that rub. The emotional component. Another man having sex with ones wife, the love of a man's life, that woman for whom he would do most anything. Rather than just a woman.

You said your wife was a slut before you met her but didn't say whether she had continued to have sex with other men after you met her and married her ,while having sex with you too or whether the thrill you said you got was from having her tell you about her past exploits,and not from being cuckolded. I'massuming you have asked her if she has just lost interest in sex altogether or is having it with another man (or men) ..which I presume you wouldn;t mind...but has lost interest in having it wth you..,which many of us cuckolds deal with all the time..,but you apparently are not happy with since you went out and found another woman to have sex with,and watch having sex with other men..if she does agree to do that.



the problem with that is , as you've realized, and others have affirmed, it;s not nearly the same watching "a woman" have sex with someone, as it is watching"your wife" (or gf) have sex with another man becasue it;s the love you have for her that makes her having sex with someone eslse so excitingand erotic so I doubt it will be allthat great watching your"cumdumpster " have sex with someone else.

Whatdes your wife say when you ask her why she doesn't want to have sex with you? (and would you be ok if she says she is having it with other men and will tell you about it, but still doesn;t wantto have sex with you anymore?)

 

[2wheel]

cuckhub05

We met in 1988, she was 36, we married in 2004.

At first she continued, dating & sex, then it became just dating, except on rare occasions when I told her to do something specific with a date, she said she complied. Then she became exclusive (to the best of my knowledge). After marriage some limited sex with others and a sex club we occasioned.

She will not talk about her past, the 300 was her estimate during a moment of weakness when she opened up, also added that it was probably a very conservative number, that she never said no!

Asked her whether she was doing anyone else, denial, but I found an open tube of lube hidden in her car. Denial. Told her it was OK, just be honest, still denial. Obviously we have major trust issues.

Asked her why, every excuse under the sun: my attitude, her weight, our past, menopause, relocation, too early, too late, too hot, too cold, medical issues, the list goes on and on.

My thread was "the missing component", which is the emotional connection. Having my extra, fuck another is missing that component, which negates it's purpose.

I've given wife permission to have others, with 2 conditions: 1-she must tell him/her I OK with it, 2-answer any/all questions if/when I ask.

Let's say she was fucking the mailman and not me:
if she was doing him cause he had a bigger cock, that'd be OK
if she was doing him cause he gave her a bigger load that'd be OK
if she was doing him cause he was a better fuck, that'd be OK
if she was doing him cause he had his friends gang bang her, that't be OK
if she was doing him cause he is kinder, that wouldn't be OK
To me, others is all about sex, nothing more, the emotional part is my thrill, if she does it for any reason other than sex,that's a problem.