Here's the deal. I was cleaning her car for her and in the trunk, in a plastic bag buried in the bottom of a box of stuff she has, was a tube of lube. I had given her permission to fuck/suck anyone she wanted with the caveat that if I ask she tell me what I want to know. So I asked her, denial. This was about 6 years or so ago. I asked many times and told her she wasn't being honest. The more insistent I become the more firm the denial.
At that time I was sure she fucked someone else, and that's OK, the denial, albeit the lie isn't. It became a trust issue, not about fidelity but truth. I don't care if she sucks and fucks the entire eastern seaboard, just be straight with me.
Then about 3 years ago she she said she did. I kinda of remember the time frame. She was going to her chiropractor 2-3 times a week. Then she says he wants to see her everyday as her back is in bad shape. At the time I didn't think anything of it. So during the 'confession' she asks me if I remember that time period, I say yes. Then she said she started to play with another patient. How often? She said not often enough but several times a week. A few times, several times in one day. I had no idea! How clueless I was. I asked her why she stopped, she said cause I found out. She said if I didn't say anything she would have continued. She added that they were getting ready to include his friends to their playtime. Holy shit! I asked why she wouldn't consider the 'friends' thing with us, she said I live with you. I never understood that answer. I asked why she even did it, she said I did something at the time to piss her off, but couldn't remember what.
Since that time my wife has had several traumatic brain incidents that has affected her short term memory. Sometimes severly sometimes not.
3 weeks ago she stuffed up the toilet. Hey, shit happens, literally, and if you are taking certain meds as is she, you understand this. So I go to work with the regular plunger to no avail, then the heavy duty plunger, still to no avail. followed by a snake without success. I call the plumber, a weeks wait. OK, we have 2 other bathrooms. But I don't give up and plunge and snake each day without success.
Then 2 days before the plumber's arrival there is a change., the 6' snake pulls up a used condom.
I approach her ask if there anything she needs or want to tell me before showing it to her. She says no. I take her to the toilet and show her the 'evidence' and again ask her if there's anything she'd like to share with me. Again she says no. I ask her how she thinks it got there, she says she has no idea, that maybe it came from a neighbors pipes. I tell her it's impossible. She asks me how it got there I tell her that's my question. She again says she doesn't know. She says maybe I used it. I remind her that I found it and if it was me why would I be showing it to her. She says she doesn't know. I reminder that with my ED issues it'd be virtually impossible to make use of one.
Then some stuff pops into my feeble brain. Each on it's own has no meaning but when added together I see a pattern emerge:
1 Lately when I leave in the morning (neither of us work) she asks me where I'm going and when I'll be back.
2 Very often she goes into another room to 'play' on her cell phone.
3 Occasionally I hear her whisper, "I can't talk now."
4 Occasionally I get up in the middle of the night for a bathroom call and she's 'playing' with her cell phone.
5 She's been very distant of late.
6 She went on a diet and has lost 30 lbs.
7 She bought new clothing, more feminine clothing
I detail these things and tell her I see a pattern. She says I'm being paranoid. I remind her that just because someone is paranoid doesn't mean they aren't being followed.
I tell her than I understand her memory issues and that perhaps she's not remembering. She tells me she'd remember that. And beside who flushes a used condom anyway. I ask her what she would do with one she says throw it out. I add, so it can be found? She says she has no idea how it got there. I again give her the out. that perhaps she doesn't remember and 'her partner' didn't know the toilet was clogged and tried to flush the evidence away.
She again says she'd remember, so I ask here when the last time we had sex was. She can't remember, I tell her that shoots her theory of 'I'd remember'.
I ask her to give me a plausible scenario how a used condom got into our stuffed up toilet bowl. She says she hasn't the slightest idea. Maybe it was someone else. So I give her the scenario, someone came into our locked house had sex and used our bathroom toilet to dispose of their used condom, then left and locked the house behind them. And I ask her if that's what she really thinks happened. She says no, that is seems far fetched.
I tell her let's wait until the plumber gets here and ask him.
He can't free up the toilet either and needs to remove it. I tell him while snaking the toilet something came up, but not what came up, could it come from a neighbor or another's sewer line. He asked how long my snake is, I tell him 6'. He says impossible, I ask are you sure, he says absolutely impossible.
I tell her I may have been born at night but not last night. To please give me any plausible explanation.
She can't.
Opinions??
At that time I was sure she fucked someone else, and that's OK, the denial, albeit the lie isn't. It became a trust issue, not about fidelity but truth. I don't care if she sucks and fucks the entire eastern seaboard, just be straight with me.
Then about 3 years ago she she said she did. I kinda of remember the time frame. She was going to her chiropractor 2-3 times a week. Then she says he wants to see her everyday as her back is in bad shape. At the time I didn't think anything of it. So during the 'confession' she asks me if I remember that time period, I say yes. Then she said she started to play with another patient. How often? She said not often enough but several times a week. A few times, several times in one day. I had no idea! How clueless I was. I asked her why she stopped, she said cause I found out. She said if I didn't say anything she would have continued. She added that they were getting ready to include his friends to their playtime. Holy shit! I asked why she wouldn't consider the 'friends' thing with us, she said I live with you. I never understood that answer. I asked why she even did it, she said I did something at the time to piss her off, but couldn't remember what.
Since that time my wife has had several traumatic brain incidents that has affected her short term memory. Sometimes severly sometimes not.
3 weeks ago she stuffed up the toilet. Hey, shit happens, literally, and if you are taking certain meds as is she, you understand this. So I go to work with the regular plunger to no avail, then the heavy duty plunger, still to no avail. followed by a snake without success. I call the plumber, a weeks wait. OK, we have 2 other bathrooms. But I don't give up and plunge and snake each day without success.
Then 2 days before the plumber's arrival there is a change., the 6' snake pulls up a used condom.
I approach her ask if there anything she needs or want to tell me before showing it to her. She says no. I take her to the toilet and show her the 'evidence' and again ask her if there's anything she'd like to share with me. Again she says no. I ask her how she thinks it got there, she says she has no idea, that maybe it came from a neighbors pipes. I tell her it's impossible. She asks me how it got there I tell her that's my question. She again says she doesn't know. She says maybe I used it. I remind her that I found it and if it was me why would I be showing it to her. She says she doesn't know. I reminder that with my ED issues it'd be virtually impossible to make use of one.
Then some stuff pops into my feeble brain. Each on it's own has no meaning but when added together I see a pattern emerge:
1 Lately when I leave in the morning (neither of us work) she asks me where I'm going and when I'll be back.
2 Very often she goes into another room to 'play' on her cell phone.
3 Occasionally I hear her whisper, "I can't talk now."
4 Occasionally I get up in the middle of the night for a bathroom call and she's 'playing' with her cell phone.
5 She's been very distant of late.
6 She went on a diet and has lost 30 lbs.
7 She bought new clothing, more feminine clothing
I detail these things and tell her I see a pattern. She says I'm being paranoid. I remind her that just because someone is paranoid doesn't mean they aren't being followed.
I tell her than I understand her memory issues and that perhaps she's not remembering. She tells me she'd remember that. And beside who flushes a used condom anyway. I ask her what she would do with one she says throw it out. I add, so it can be found? She says she has no idea how it got there. I again give her the out. that perhaps she doesn't remember and 'her partner' didn't know the toilet was clogged and tried to flush the evidence away.
She again says she'd remember, so I ask here when the last time we had sex was. She can't remember, I tell her that shoots her theory of 'I'd remember'.
I ask her to give me a plausible scenario how a used condom got into our stuffed up toilet bowl. She says she hasn't the slightest idea. Maybe it was someone else. So I give her the scenario, someone came into our locked house had sex and used our bathroom toilet to dispose of their used condom, then left and locked the house behind them. And I ask her if that's what she really thinks happened. She says no, that is seems far fetched.
I tell her let's wait until the plumber gets here and ask him.
He can't free up the toilet either and needs to remove it. I tell him while snaking the toilet something came up, but not what came up, could it come from a neighbor or another's sewer line. He asked how long my snake is, I tell him 6'. He says impossible, I ask are you sure, he says absolutely impossible.
I tell her I may have been born at night but not last night. To please give me any plausible explanation.
She can't.
Opinions??
