Wants

[DeeDeenCO]

Wants

There is this guy I have been seeing somewhat for about a month now. He is very much an Alpha male, whereas my husband is very much a beta male. Alex, my new BF, is everything my husband isn’t. He is a master mechanic, a general contractor, he has a big monster truck, his own business, he owns his own plane and he is very dominant.

Me and my husband went to see Alex at his shop today. Alex fondled me and we kissed and my husband didn’t even notice. After we left, I asked my husband why he didn’t notice me playing with Alex and Alex rubbing my tits, and me pulling up my top so that Alex could kiss them. My husband said he saw it as being playful, not sexual. I asked my husband why he didn’t see me and Alex playing as sexual. He said that it just didn’t register to him that what we did was sexual. I had to inform my husband that it was both playful and sexual, and that normal people don’t normally go around feeling each other up. My husband apologized for it not clicking that way in his mind.

I have to wonder some times if my husband is a man at all. He has the body parts of a man, although small. And he does well at supporting his family and going to work every day to a job he hates, while I am out playing with other men.

While we were at Alex’s shop, he told my husband (who he has only met once) that he (Alex) is an Alpha, and he always has been. He will fight to protect those he cares about. I have told my husband that I have never really felt safe with him. I believe that if anything went down where I really needed him to be there and protect me that he would run. My husband lowered his head. He knew I was right.

I asked my husband why he thought that I was so attracted to Alex. My husband said, “Because he is like the star football player every girl wants to be with.” And I said, “Hell yes he is!” And my husband was right. Alex is very much an Alpha male. My husband is very much a beta male. When we were at Alex’s shop, Alex told my husband that he likes having me around, and the two of us playing. He also told my husband that he thought that he (my husband) was cool for allowing him to be intimate with me. I had to relate to Alex that my husband will let any man do anything he wants with me. Alex said that wasn’t cool. And I agreed.

I love my husband, but sometimes I wish my husband was more of a man than he is. I often wish that my husband was like the other men I have in my life, but he isn’t and won’t ever be.

My husband is very feminine. He is very girly in many ways. I see him as a girlfriend much more than a man in my life. No. I don’t feel safe with him. I know that if I ever needed protection that I could never count on him. I also know that when it comes to sex, my husband has a very childish view. My husband doesn’t see me grasping another man’s cock or deep kissing another man as sexual. He just sees it as playful. It also takes my husband forever to get an erection. When I want to have sex with my husband, I am usually out of the mood by the time he gets himself hard. With Alex, he gets hard just because I am there.

I have been told that I am a horrible person for wanting my husband to be like other men are, at least in some way. I don’t think I am wrong for wanting my husband to be a man, and to make me feel like a woman. Am I?

This is my husband


You would think that he would jump at the chance to receive some sex, but he doesn't. He never pays attention to my tits, and most men love my DDD tits. What do you think about them?

 

[Saraha]

Your husband can't change into the person you wish him to be. I recommend that you let him be himself and don't try to change him. You are very lucky that your husband lets you flirt with other men without wanting a Divorce.

You have "two marriages" on the go, and each one deserves to be ring-fenced. Enjoy each marriage for what it offers you, and don't compare the two men or you will end up frustrated.

I suspect you need four or five men to keep you adequately pleasured, not just the alpha bull who is topping you up.

Bulls can cum and go, but the legal husband will most likely love you forever.

 

[DeeDeenCO]

I do have my legal husband. I also have a boyfriend who lives about an hour from me that I have been dating for the last 5 years or so. I also recently started seeing a friend's husband. So, my new boyfriend, Alex, is not the only "Bull." I do have several other men that I see, sexually. So, I am not going without sex. I just want my husband to be more manly, like my lovers are.

I agree that I am very lucky to have a husband that allows me to have other lovers. I also feel fortunate that one of our friend's husband has decided that he wants to be sexual with me as well. I have been wanting him for years. So, I like that.

Sarah, you said, "Bulls can cum and go, but the legal husband will most likely love you forever." I agree. And men do cum and go. And I do believe my husband will stay with me. If anything ever went wrong, I would leave him.

Sarah, you also said, "I suspect you need four or five men to keep you adequately pleasured, not just the alpha bull who is topping you up." And you are right. I have a very high sex drive, and I do need a lot of men to keep me satisfied. I have always been that way. And to be honest, I need men I have sex with to be much more endowed than my husband is. My husband is under-endowed.

I know I can't change my husband, but I believe that he can learn from other men what I like.

 

[zippless]

Yes you have a great body that needs to be fucked a couple of times daily. I understand you would like your husband to be more manly so that you can feel more cherished by him but seriously his cock is just an over grown clitty. He looks like he is good at cleanup duties that's a plus. Does he make you cum orally or does he treat your pussy as an all you can eat cum bar? I would jump at the chance to fuck you but where does he dump it? Does he just jack off or do you make him cum?

 

[DeeDeenCO]

Yes you have a great body that needs to be fucked a couple of times daily. I understand you would like your husband to be more manly so that you can feel more cherished by him but seriously his cock is just an over grown clitty. He looks like he is good at cleanup duties that's a plus. Does he make you cum orally or does he treat your pussy as an all you can eat cum bar? I would jump at the chance to fuck you but where does he dump it? Does he just jack off or do you make him cum?

My husband is really too small for any type of intercourse. When he masturbates he uses two fingers, well, his thumb and his middle finger. When he does cum, it is barely a drop that appears on the tip of his penis. He drinks plenty of water, and we have even tried testosterone therapy. Nothing has helped.

He is bi, and leans more toward being gay. My husband has two 2 ter. external hard drives of pics of me with other men and just naked men. My husband has always been very feminine. And with good reason, I guess.

We tried intercourse this morning, and since he is such a little guy, it didn't work. And to be honest, he really isn't that much fun to suck on either.

I am glad that I have numerous other lovers that I see every day. And I like that.

 

[Custer Laststand]

Hi Ms. DeeDee,

You posted the following description of your dinner date with your new lover and your family in a different thread, but now that you have your own thread, I’ll put my comments here. I’ll begin by thanking you for your articulate, well-written, and — despite your conclusion that “It’s not a big deal” — exceptionally erotic post.

I like your avatar, incidentally. It brings to mind an outraged comment by a woman I read some years ago, on the subject of pussy-up-front photos of women resembling your avatar. She said (this is roughly paraphrased from memory and slightly elaborated): “Wouldn’t MEN be outraged if the portraits of rich, powerful, or otherwise famous men were painted or photographed by women, and they were all portrayed fully nude, lying on their backs, their legs and knees elevated, with their erect cocks, balls and anuses prominently displayed in the foreground, while they smiled salaciously, or leered, or looked stern, from the background?” (That is, in the style of your avatar but with their heads held up and their faces on display, but with each man's genitalia primarily identifying him…)

I recall thinking, “Hey, why not… that’s a good idea…” But, I digress.

In a most recent situation, I have fallen for this guy I met at work. He is older than my husband, but much more masculine.

Congratulations! Married women are supposed to take lovers who are suitably macho. It sounds like you scored a good one…

My husband is kind of a girlie-man.

There’s nothing wrong with that. Lots of strongly-sexual women who take lovers consider it advantageous to have somewhat wimpy husbands…

My husband doesn't care too much about my tits…

That’s odd. I wonder why…?

…but, my new man loves them. I see my new man so differently than I do my husband, mostly because my new man makes me feel all giddy, like a little girl.

That, of course, is the way you’re supposed to feel when you take a new lover. So far, so good…

My husband is very wishy-washy when it comes to making decisions, and often makes me make all the decisions.

Sounds like he’s telling you, passively and indirectly, that he wants to be your submissive husband and for you to be his dominant wife in a female-dominant (femdom) “cuckold husband / hotwife” marriage…

The other day, I wanted my husband to meet this man I have been meeting and playing with. We met him at his shop and my husband was all submissive to my new man.

More evidence that he wants to be your submissive husband and for you to be his dominant hotwife…

My new man shook my husband's hand and told him he was a very lucky man to have a wife like me. My husband agreed. Then my new man asked me to show him my tits, and I did. My new man kissed my titties and told me how beautiful they are.

Perfect! I like it. All in front of your cuckold, at your new lover’s shop. That was very cool…

I told my new man that my husband doesn't care about my tits. My new man asked my husband why he didn't care about my tits. My husband replied that they were just tits. My new man told my husband that women like men to pay attention to their breasts, that it makes them feel good when a man likes what they have. My husband just shook his head.

Your new lover had it right, of course. It was appropriate for him to chide your cuckold for not properly admiring, indeed paying homage, to your tits…

There are certain men who can make you just feel really good, and sometimes that man is not your husband or boyfriend. I don't think men should feel humiliated because their wife or girlfriend finds something about another man or other men attractive. We are women, for God's sake. And sometimes another man or other men will do something or say something that makes us feel really good.

Yes, of course. You have it right…

We went out last night, me, my husband, my son, my daughter and her husband, my mother-in-law and my best friend. We all went to dinner together.

Great! Intergenerational cuckolding, clarified for all in your family and demonstrated for your best friend (best woman friend, I gather?) as well…

The entire time we were all out together, my new man had his hands all over me and was kissing me.

It seems hard to imagine a clearer demonstration of it being among the prerogatives of a married woman to enjoy her sexuality in obvious ways with a lover, and not viewing the mere presence of her family as a hindrance…

My mother-in-law asked me who this new man was, and I told her that he was my boyfriend. She looked at my husband and asked him if he was okay with it. He said he was. Then my mother-in-law told me, "You know as well as I do that my son is not the most masculine man, and it seems your new man is." My mother-in-law was used to my husband's ex-wife sleeping around on him. My mother-in-law told me, "My son has always had an ability to find women who seek out other men." And, I agreed.

And also, it seems hard to imagine a more clear-cut way to introduce your son to his future as a cuckold, as well as your daughter’s husband (if she hasn’t made him her cuckold already)…

As we ate, my new man had his hand between my legs the entire time. My daughter noticed, my son noticed, my son-in-law noticed, even the waitress noticed. It was so sexy. My husband would never do that with me, ever, anywhere. And, I liked that my new man was doing that. After we ate and all of us were talking, my new man had his hand down my dress and was playing with my breasts, something my husband has never done. And I liked it.

Cool. I like it too…

My mother-in-law asked my son why she never saw him do that with me. My husband simply responded, "That's what other men are for.”

That was a good answer…

My mother-in-law mentioned to my husband that other men are good for more than just that, and she was sure I already knew that. And I did.

Your mother-in-law is obviously closely attuned to your sexual needs, and is fully in agreement with it being your privilege and prerogative to take lovers accordingly. Do you know whether she took lovers, perhaps when she was younger? It seems more than possible that your submissive cuckold learned his proper marital role from his cuckolded father…

My daughter looked at me and my new man, then at my husband, then at my mother-in-law, and said: "Well, sometimes you have to have something new to just make you feel good.”

Thereby providing her husband, sitting next to her (presumably), with even more direct insight into his upcoming marital role as her cuckold…

My new man interjected and said to my mother-in-law, "Before I met ray (my husband) Dee and I already had something going. When I met ray, he told me that he loved that I was in his wife's life and am making her happy. So, here we are." My mother-in-law answered, saying: "I just hope the two of you can make each other happy, and that you can do for Dee what my son can't." My mother-in-law added, "You may already know this, but my son is not the most manly of men, especially below the belt." Everyone laughed. My new man retorted, "I may not have the biggest ship in the ocean, but from what I have seen, I am a battle ship to his tug boat." I added that it wasn't just my new man's size that I liked, although I do, it was how me made me feel, even when we weren't having sex that I loved the most.

Jeez, what a conversation. Fantastic. I suppose if I were to suggest that no one complained about finding the dinner “boring,” it would sound like a vast understatement…

When the waitress brought the check, she handed it to my husband and said to him, "You are a very special man. It's obvious that you love your wife. And I respect that. I wish that my husband was more like you. That way I wouldn't have to hide and pretend I'm someone I'm not." My new man asked the waitress if she had a boyfriend. The waitress told us that she did have a boyfriend, but if her husband ever found out, he would have a “conniption fit." My new man told the waitress that was sad, and she agreed. The waitress looked at me, then my husband, then at my new man and said, "That's why when you guys walked in, and I saw the two of them wearing wedding rings, and you were all over her, that I knew you guys had it figured out.”

Awright. Even the waitress contributed a story and positive comments in support of your “cuckold husband / hotwife” marriage. I hope you — or, more appropriately, your cuckold — left her a large tip.

There is no reason for a husband or a boyfriend to feel humiliated when their wife or girlfriend desires or wants to be with another man or men. You may fulfill part of your wife or girlfriend's life, but sometimes it takes another person or people to fill in the gaps. It's not a big deal.

In principle, of course, that’s true. Many cuckolds, however, would find it somewhere between “very difficult” and “impossible” to not feel profoundly humiliated by having their sexual inadequacy blatantly demonstrated and openly discussed in front of their entire family and their wife's best friend as well. (On the other hand, some cuckolds would revel in such public humiliation…)

Thank you again for your outstanding contribution to this forum on intergenerational cuckolding, and on the art (one might call it) of demonstrating hence passing along to your children the proper roles of wives and husbands in a marriage.

—Custer

 

[Custer Laststand]

It seems possible your husband is asexual...

Hi Ms. DeeDee,

Your comments about your husband suggest he may be asexual. This is more widespread than many may think. Few studies have been done, but one survey of an adequately-large population subset found that about 1.1% of people, male and female, are asexual.

Asexuality is a form of orientation like heterosexuality, homosexuality or bisexuality. It cannot be "corrected" in a psychological / physical sense, any more than (e.g.) homosexuality... which is now well-known to be genetic... can be "corrected."

If you're interested, you can find more information on this by googling:

For Them, Just Saying No Is Easy

By MARY DUENWALD, published June 9, 2005, New York Times

and/or

Why Asexuals Don’t Want to Be Invisible Anymore

By ANNA ALTMAN, published September 24, 2014, New York Times

(or google "asexual people").

In any case, your approach to attaining sexual satisfaction... taking multiple lovers... seems to be working well for you, while being accepted by your husband who finds it nonthreatening. It's a time-honored, time-tested and well-justified strategy among strongly-sexual married women.

—Custer

 

[DeeDeenCO]

Custer;

In response to "Thank you again for your outstanding contribution to this forum on intergenerational cuckolding, and on the art (one might call it) of demonstrating hence passing along to your children the proper roles of wives and husbands in a marriage." You are welcome, first off. Secondly, cuckolding is often generational. And boys growing up learn one of two things, that they are not like other boys, or that other boys seem less like them. The latter group are the boys who grow up to be Alpha Men. And it is obvious when boys are very young which way they tend to lean.

It's about time that women started leading, openly, not just in their homes. And sons and daughters need to learn that there is a hierarchy. My son has a very small penis, and he will never be an Alpha male, no matter how hard he tries. And I try to foster his growth toward being a cuckold. My son was topped by a neighbor's son a few years back. And that pretty much told him where he stood with other boys. Our neighbor's son literally told my son that since he had such a small penis, that he was the girl. And he was right.

I see a lot of women these days with husbands who are not the leaders in their homes, and that being the case, the wives seem very open to other men, as they should be. My daughter and my husband's daughter both know the value of cuckolding. And they have used that knowledge to gain the happiness they deserve.