Why do cucks love to be humiliated???

[DWM_in_413]

I do love to be verbally humiliated about my lack of manhood and my sexual inadequacies to satisfy a woman. What I don't understand is just why that is.

I'd like to get any input that you others have about this. Does anyone have some explanation that comes from a reliable source or from a therapist that you want to share?


Thanks
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[Son of John]

Why do husbands like to be humiliated.

I will try to help answer your question. Most men who want to share their wives with other men already have low self-esteem. What has caused this is anybody's guess, but it probably came from early childhool experiences which they don't remember.

Or, it may stem from the fact that they have a poor self-image, which may or may not be actual. Guys with small dicks will feel inferior in most cases. And if they feel they are not able to satisy their wives sexually, it validates their own insecurites if she berates them for it, or if other men ridicule them form being able to perform up to her needs.

Some guys take the "Cuckold" out as a way to excuse themselves from becoming any better in the sexual department.

Still others "Transfer" their sexual needs onto another man who is more likely to satisfy their wives because of bigger dicks, or whatever. These guys may, in a sense, "become" the other man. This is especially true if they are there at the time, actually watching the other men fuck their wives, but even if they are not, just knowing that it is happening excites them greatly.

And, as often happens in these cases, the other man may take an opportunity to ridicule the husband, in front of other men who will probably join in the laughter and ridicule. For these husbands, hearing phrases like "Hey, I fucked John's wife! She's a helluva fuck! Big flopping titties! Big hairy pussy! God, I love fucking his bitch!"

Any man who is a Cuckold will understand just what the husband gets out of this. And a guy who is not, will not understand, no matter how many times it is expalined to him. As a husband who has actually been there to watch, as other men have fucked my wife, I can tell you with real authority that it is the most exciting experience a husband can possibly have!

 

[kevinsslave]

Well, I imagine there are as many different answers as there are types of cucks. I'm not small and am actually larger (and thicker) than most men. Truthfully, I've always been able to sexually satisfy woman and I was usually the one to cheat on them.

But, there is something absolutely exhilarating to being totally submissive and, in the process, humiliated. I don't know why I feel that way (I'm sure somewhere it's connected to my childhood as everything is) but I know that I love it.

The first time I was ever with a guy was in high school. I was a senior, he was a friend. I had made a lot of sexual references to him and, finally, one night, when we were both in a drunken stupor, I finally got to blow him. It was a night that stays embedded in my mind for a lot of reasons. He took his pants and underwear down (we were in his car and we had parked to drink some more). When I bent over to suck him, he seemed pleasantly surprised that I was really doing it. After a minute, he asked if he could come in my mouth. My initial reaction was to stop and say no way, but, really, I wanted him to. So, I figured, why not do what I wanted to do. I stopped again and said "OK." Now, he knew what I was saying but he said, "OK what?" Really, to have to say it got me that much harder, so I said, "You can come in my mouth." He did and when he was finished, he asked me how he tasted. I mean, we had joked that this is the way we talked to and treated women and here I was being the one humiliated. I told him delicious. As that summer progressed, I blew him many times, each time seemed more humiliating than the last and each time I liked it more. Once, I'll never forget, he had just gotten off work. He had worked for a township road crew and had been sweating and was filthy. He called me to his house and said, "Do you want to blow me before or after I take a shower?" I dropped to my knees and did it then. Just amazing.

The first time I opened up to a girl was in college. I was dating a girl that I can honestly say got ***** and fucked anything that moved. Once, I went to her apartment and caught her in bed with another guy. The guy left and during our long talk, I started massaging her feet. She knew that was my sign for I'm ready to fuck you. She asked me what I was doing as I had to know that another guy had just come in her. I told her I didn't care and, in fact, it turned me on.

Fast forward a couple of weeks. That girl and I were out and who do we see at the bar but the guy she had fucked. She walked over and gave the guy a kiss and told him to join us at the table we were at. She sat across the booth from me and pulled her socked feet out of her shoes and had me massage them. The guy sat down and she talked about their night as if I wasn't there. He seemed uncomfortable but she finally pointed at me and said, "Don't worry about him, he liked that we had sex." The guy snickered at me and I got hotter than I already was. The upshot, I drove them to her apartment (they made out in the back seat while I drove) and dropped them off to fuck. He refused to allow me to come in, but, said that I could come by when they were finished. I dated her for a few more months and the whole time, he openly fucked her. Why this humiliation turned (and turns) me on, I don't know. But, even with that relationship, the guy got more domineering and I got more submissive (to the point that when he would be at her place fucking her, he'd call me and have me but them beer and cigarettes if they ran out). The cap to it all, he once had me smell and lick the insides of his filthy tennis shoes while they fucked. Worse, every few minutes before they actually fucked, he'd come out the bedroom and make sure I was doing it. On one occasion, I had stopped and he was so angry that he took his underwear and stuffed them in my mouth. When he came back 10 minutes later, he removed them and told me he'd better not catch me fucking up again. He didn't. I smelled and licked those grimy tennis shoes for hours. The next morning, I had to go to a department store and buy him new shoes and underwear (he refused to wear what I had in my mouth).

Even as I write this, I've become totally horny. So why do I like the humiliation, I don't know, but I absolutely crave it. The trick is being able to get past your natural defenses and submit to it. Once you do, it's wonderful.

EDIT: I forgot to put in my original thought. It is a combination, IMO, of the need to be submissive which is connected to the desire to punish myself for all the things that I think I did wrong. You know, it's not one girl that I fucked over (or even one guy, that high school chum who I loved blowing, I simply blew off [pardon the pun] when I'd had my fill of him - he never knew why I stopped calling him, talking to him, etc.). I screwed over so many sexual partners....oh well.

 

[fquimby]

I have no desire to be humiliated. I just want to see my wife get fucked in the ass. For some reason the idea really turns me on. In fact I think I'm more into the idea of seeing her humiliated.

 

[Atlopencpl]

sex is about power and humiliation is just one way to acknowledge that the cuck is not the alpha dog and is submitting to the power of the pack leader or bull

 

[Josetta]

bllinhr - great post so thank you very much. You are completely normal in wanting these wonderful emotions to vibrate in your persona. You don't need to be unscrambled. Wish more husbands would be so supportive of their wife's inner desires being expressed.

 

[pleaser011]

The self esteem issue is a possibility, but you have to remember that self-esteem is one of those psycho-babble terms that is probably more useful in a self-help, self-improvement program than in understanding what really motivates sexual behavior. Sexual urges are so powerful, so basic, so primitive and so old (hundreds of millions of years old), that some explanation the relates to more basic themes might be in order. Here is one possibility:

Nearly everyone (male or female) responds to a jealousy situation with enhanced sexual excitement. If this sexual excitement results in one more impregnation and one more child is born, the trait to respond to jealousy is passed along. With this basic idea in mind, consider the fact that leisure time changes and enhances all kinds of human behavior which was originally designed to operate under very limited conditions (for example: we are designed to like fatty foods because they afforded our ancestors easy calories when calories were hard to come by. Now we get fat because we are still reacting to the original urge to eat fatty foods and fatty foods are everywhere in our society and we have the leisure time to sit around and eat them).
Some of us have the leisure to pursue sexual thoughts, ideas and behaviors. We discover that jealousy makes us very horny. Instead of ignoring this feeling, we are captivated by it. Like other highly emotional experiences the process of sharing your wife involves many emotional feed-back mechanisms (probably from the same or other ancient urges/pleasures etc). People experienced with Bondage and discipline and Dominance and submission know many of these emotional feed-back loops and exploit them to achieve levels of sexual and even spiritual excitement that are virtually unknown to the uninitiated.
Sorry to be so wordy, but in short we like to feel the humiliation because it is the name given for the complex reaction that our body and mind produces to the feeling of jealousy enhanced by our emotional conditioning and extended sexual experience. We start with a simple jealousy reflex and because we have so much time on our hands, we are able to fashion it into a complex and satisfying experience.

 

[DickMann]

A larger question: Why Cuckoldry?

Could it be the comradery? First, it involves the amelioration of a potentially violent outcome between a man and an aggressor taking the first man's wife/property. Second, Cuckoldry is largely a "Boy's Club": generally all male, all white. There are increasingly less places white males can exclusively congregate together for recreation; cuckoldry may be born of this persistent Western male impulse to exclusivity.

I believe Cuckoldry is a nascent form of Gothic Fiction.

 

[ropulos]

because ...

Because They're looking for emotions.

Always People are looking for Strong Emotions.

and that's the easiest way for them

 

[Custer Laststand]

Are many cuckolds men with strong self esteem?

These are all very interesting, good and articulate replies. I would suggest, in contrast to Son of John's well-stated hypothesis, that many cuckolds have solid (not low) self esteem and that is among the reasons they accept — indeed, encourage — their wives taking other men as lovers. It may also be among the reasons, I suggest, that they accept — indeed, revel in — a certain amount of humiliation as cuckold husbands, ranging from mild to extreme depending on the combined nature of the humiliated cuckold and his adulteress wife.

In many cases, I strongly suspect, a man with low self esteem is more likely to insist he have exclusive sexual rights to his wife, thereby (in effect) insisting she is not a person in her own right but is rather an extension of himself — he views his wife as "his property," as it were. A man of this nature, I would say, is more likely to demand a divorce or do something violent if he suspects or knows his wife has taken a lover. "Something violent" may range from treating his wife abusively to murdering her or her lover (or both). It isn't unusual to see examples of this in the news. It is almost certainly among the reasons many wives are very reluctant to respond favorably to their husbands urging them to take lovers.

"Cuckolding as a form of nascent Gothic fiction" (per DickMann) is pretty good... I like that. I think, though, that when a married woman's lover comes to her home and fucks her in front of her cuckold husband, or while he listens, that's about as real as it gets. It results in "intense, strong emotions" among all concerned (as noted by Ropulos) — and in mundane everyday life, strong emotions can be hard to come by. From this point of view, cuckolding may be a way, at least in part, of alleviating the tedium of daily life.

 

[slinky67]

i totally agree with custer

I love being cuckolded and humiliated...yet has nothing to do with low self esteem. For me...in my everyday life i am an alpha male, very self assured, self confident. But i live that life all the time...get tired of it etc. i love living out an opposite personality in my sexual life. Just as i like people assuming my girl and my ex's were very prim and proper, they were absolute sluts...them also playing an opposite role than they do in public.

 

[nimrod]

I really don't see what my wife and I have as being humiliating, and if there is an element of humiliation in it, I bring it on myself from within, although I really don't think of it that way.

My wife happens to be a real sweetheart who just happens to love sex. She has the freedoms to make her own decisions, and I provide encouragement.

Low self esteem? Hmm, never thought of it that way. Maybe by some eye pieces. I know who I am and what I am. It is others who think that a cuckold fits in a box. I am a man with a hotwife and I love it.

 

[DWM_in_413]

Thanks for the information, guys. Sorry I haven't responded sooner.

As for wanting the sexual humiliation, it confirms my want to be thought of as a sissy. I do love thinking of myself that way.
I no longer think of myself as a "man." I'm a male, yes, but not a man as most folks would define a man.
That brings up the question of "why." Okay. Men are under a lot of pressure in this world. I never did hold up well under pressure. As a sissy, I no longer feel that I have to stand up as a man and be "That Man." I can sit back and just be the wimp and let the world go by. Hope that makes some sense to you all.

One other thing that wasn't mention is wanting one's wife to act as a "surrogate" between the husband and the other men who is fucking the wife.

As a bi-sexual male, I came to that conclusion about myself some years ago after my wife and I divorced. I never could tell her about what I wanted, but I was nearly desperate for her to have another man's penis in her and have her come home to me with her pussy filled with another man's cum.
So, that is how it was for me and those same desires are still with me, yet I have no woman in my life now.


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[substobbws]

I'm sure many cucks aren't into humiliation just as many are. I think trying to define why people have sexual preferences is like trying to define why different people have different favorite flavors of ice cream. (Cherry!)

I've been naturally submissive to women all my life. At around the age of five, I noticed that if a woman somehow controlled a man on television, I'd find myself drawn to the set. There was something I liked about it and I had no idea why. I Dream of Genie and Bewitched were favorite shows, LOL. I think those writers knew exactly what they were doing sometimes.

Being submissive to me means that it's a turn on for a woman to enjoy "forcing" (with me going willingly) me to endure what I otherwise wouldn't want to or not allow me to do what I otherwise would want to. I have to want or not want something in the first place before it's a turn on for a woman to have me go the other way. It's always about the woman first. I don't walk around with clothespins on my nipples or any other sensitive parts all day, LOL. For me, cuckolding and chastity are the extremes of what I'm into but, nowhere near the only things.

As far as low self esteem goes, my private life mirrors my outside life where I'm anything but submissive.

A lesbian friend of mine is the same way. She's very masculine/athletic. Her partner is very feminine with long hair, more than a few extra pounds (great breasts! LOL), and wears dresses. Behind closed doors it all turns around and the feminine one is the dominant and the masculine one is submissive.

Before you start to peg them all, though, she's told me about their gay bars and that you see mixed couples like themselves and then you see femmes with femmes and butches with butches.

Here's what I don't understand. Why do many people feel the need to have a reason for understanding the sexuality of others? I think the preferences are as varied as the possible combinations of genes in all of us. Many people seem to have a hard time accepting that. How can anyone expect people to explain PREFERENCES? You don't choose them. They are what you are. You are what they are. It's your chemistry.

I guess my not understanding those people makes about as much sense as them wanting to understand others! All I know is we're here for a very short flash in time. Enjoy it while you can.

 

[substobbws]

Look at crossdressing. For me, it's one of the many humiliations (turn ons) that a dominant woman can put a submissive male through. For many, it's obviously something they want.

Cuckolding seems to be the same way. Many WANT to see women they're attached to do this. For me, it's a turn on because it's something I wouldn't want in the first place. Many seem to want the woman humiliated in the process and many women obviously want to be. For me, it's the woman doing the humiliating (and enjoying!).

 

[substobbws]

Take the discussion of preferences a little further. Here's a thing or two I've never seen in print anywhere. The difference in the way your mind works before and after an orgasm.

By my screen name, obviously I love large women, especially with large breasts and asses. Many times, after getting off with a nice pair around my face, I go into a totally different zone of peaceful thinking and wonder "What the hell is it about big, round things?" LOL.

There's also a thing about pain/discomfort before and after an orgasm. Something that's a turn on before you get off is all of a sudden "Ow! get it out/off!" after! LOL. A discomfort you don't feel at all or what you do feel is a turn on is all of a sudden JUST discomfort! For me, a humiliation can be the same way. What's a turn on up to and through the orgasm can be so difficult to handle right after that I actually say "Ow!" just due to the mental discomfort. Am I the only one?

Makes me think those people who say they can mentally block out pain might just be right. Some woman on the news several months ago said she was trained in this at a young age and that she underwent root canal surgery with no anestetic.

 

[zcapncuckboy]

I'm gonna be honest, I only read the 1st post on this thread

I didn't read any of the other replies, cause they just seemed way to long, so if i repeat what someone else said, then I apologize. I happen to know quite a bit about human behavior, and I believe the answer to this question is simply it's a survival instinct. The same reason a cuck is turned on by being humiliated about being small, inadequite, or being a lousy lover, is the same reason a molested girl often grows up to be, well... a slut or **********. The mind has a way of taking things that are harmful or painful to us and turning them into things we enjoy. How often have we warped our minds into believing something that was really unenjoyable, into something we remember as a great time. The nightmare camping trip, the vacation gone horribly wrong, the long painful hours laboring on a project, that had very little reward in the end. We look back on these things and smile, and say "oh boy wasn't that a great time", when in all reality, it really wasn't. Our mind does this so we are able to move on, and not let these things in life cripple us along the way. Everyone has sexual instincts, and if something is standing in the way, of these being filled, then just like our bodies will heal themselves, quite often so will our mind if needed.

 

[Son of John]

Humiliated husbands

There were lots of great answers to this question. It just proves that there is a lot of variety among wife-sharing husbands, and no one answer can apply to us all.

The indisputable fact is that there are lots of husbands who enjoy, or would enjoy, sharing their wives' naked bodies with other men. Most of these men, and this certainly includes ME, also enjoy watching these other men fuck their wives. As anyone who has had the experience can tell you, there is nothing, absolutely NOTHING that can compare for pure excitement with watching as another guy takes his sexual pleasure from your own wife's naked body!

There have to be "other" men, of course, who enjoy fucking other men's wives, and even in front of the husband. Without them, our wildest fantasies would never be realized. And I can certainly understand why these men enjoy doing what they do. I am sure that for them, it is the ultimate sexual experience to actually fuck a married woman in front of her husband. There is just something about "getting" some of another guy's private stock of pussy that drives many men to seek it out, and if the "poor bastard" husband knows about it, or better yet is there to watch you fuck his wife, then so much the better.

I have had very little experience fucking other women than my own wives, and none of fucking a married woman behind her husband's back. For me, this is totally unexplored territory. The one time I fucked another man's wife, he was right there, fucking MY wife beside me on a king-size bed.

But, as enjoyable as this was, the fact that I needed to concentrate on his wife as I fucked her kept me from concentrating on what I considered the "real" purpose of our meeting!, and that was, of course, watching what he was doing to my wife, and hearing her cries of pleasure as he did fuck her!

Since then, I have avoided getting into situations where there are any other women present. I enjoy it the most when my wife is the only "pussy" available for whatever men are present.

These comments may not answer the original question very well, but there are my own true feelings of what a wife-sharing husband gets from watching other men fuck his wife.