Categories of Cuckoldness

[mistyD]

I have to admit that I didn't even know the term when my husband and I got started in this. In my case, I was cheating with a guy at work and my husband found out and I said, let's just separate or throw in the towel (we have no children), and after discussion and wine and more discussion he said he liked the idea of me with another guy. I'm far from naive, but I had never, ever heard of such a thing. Ever. ALL guys I knew were jealous to some degree. We never used the word cuckold. He said....you find guys to fuck and I'll be in the room and watch. Or even you go out on a date, and come back and tell me the sexual details. I swear I at first thought he was joking. Actually, first I thought he was furiously mad. and making sarcastic comments like he sometimes does when he's mad. Yeah, just go off and fuck these guys and tell me about it later. Then I realized he was serious....like totally serious. So, we have been doing this for a little more than a year. I find it exciting, but I'm convinced it's not going to "work" out for us because of family complications (he has a teen daughter who lives part time with us) and other reasons. I don't think it has made our sex together any better. But it has made for wild sex while he is watching for sure.

What I don't get is...there must be categories or degrees of this word "cuckold". In looking at this forum - cuz I definitely feel that I fit into the category of slut wife (and kinda like it)...I see some major disconnects for what we do and what is discussed here. One...there is zero humiliation involved in our case. None whatsoever. Also, he and I still have sex alone (and he usually wants to talk about some previous guy), so there is no chastity belt on his part (maybe that's not the right term). Two - there is no sharing or posting of images. I so totally don't understand that. I would be completely against that. I want to choose the guy that I'm going to get undressed with. I'm NOT ok with him going home with my panties and I don't want pictures either. For us, it's about sex while my husband watches. Who wants their nude pics all over the internet. Yuck. My husband wouldn't like that I don't think, but have not discussed. Three- I don't understand the "making" the husband do something. Wear certain clothes or any of that. My husband and I came to this agreement completely on our own (well, kinda ****** into making some decision because of my cheating). There's zero humiliation or him wearing women's clothes or posting pictures of me with another guy.

So, are there categories? There must be because what we are doing brings us both some sexual satisfaction yet we don't fit into those other categories. I think that is exactly one of the major reasons I don't think this will end up being a lasting relationship because we still try to do quote unquote normal things together - go to a show, go on vacation, go to his daughter's soccer games, etc. It would be difficult, at least for me, if I viewed him as some inferior or subjugated person. I wouldn't be able to do these other things with him and have it be normal.

Having said all of that...it was me who was cheating and still pretending like life was normal while fucking with another married guy.

 

[Custer Laststand]

I have to admit that I didn't even know the term when my husband and I got started in this. In my case, I was cheating with a guy at work and my husband found out .......

Having said all of that...it was me who was cheating and still pretending like life was normal while fucking with another married guy.

If that's your style of "hotwife / cuckold husband" marriage — in which, by mutual agreement, you are free to date, seduce and fuck whomever you wish, while your husband is faithful to you (or so I gather) — then, I don't see any problem with that.

My guess is, your style of extramarital affairs is not uncommon. The most likely reason is: the vast majority of married women now work, and thus come into contact on a daily basis with men.... some married, some not.... who are coworkers. Affairs are probably even more likely among women who travel, say to business meetings or conferences, without their husbands.

 

[wifeslilone]

I have to admit that I didn't even know the term when my husband and I got started in this. In my case, I was cheating with a guy at work and my husband found out and I said, let's just separate or throw in the towel (we have no children), and after discussion and wine and more discussion he said he liked the idea of me with another guy. I'm far from naive, but I had never, ever heard of such a thing. Ever. ALL guys I knew were jealous to some degree. We never used the word cuckold. He said....you find guys to fuck and I'll be in the room and watch. Or even you go out on a date, and come back and tell me the sexual details. I swear I at first thought he was joking. Actually, first I thought he was furiously mad. and making sarcastic comments like he sometimes does when he's mad. Yeah, just go off and fuck these guys and tell me about it later. Then I realized he was serious....like totally serious. So, we have been doing this for a little more than a year. I find it exciting, but I'm convinced it's not going to "work" out for us because of family complications (he has a teen daughter who lives part time with us) and other reasons. I don't think it has made our sex together any better. But it has made for wild sex while he is watching for sure.

What I don't get is...there must be categories or degrees of this word "cuckold". In looking at this forum - cuz I definitely feel that I fit into the category of slut wife (and kinda like it)...I see some major disconnects for what we do and what is discussed here. One...there is zero humiliation involved in our case. None whatsoever. Also, he and I still have sex alone (and he usually wants to talk about some previous guy), so there is no chastity belt on his part (maybe that's not the right term). Two - there is no sharing or posting of images. I so totally don't understand that. I would be completely against that. I want to choose the guy that I'm going to get undressed with. I'm NOT ok with him going home with my panties and I don't want pictures either. For us, it's about sex while my husband watches. Who wants their nude pics all over the internet. Yuck. My husband wouldn't like that I don't think, but have not discussed. Three- I don't understand the "making" the husband do something. Wear certain clothes or any of that. My husband and I came to this agreement completely on our own (well, kinda ****** into making some decision because of my cheating). There's zero humiliation or him wearing women's clothes or posting pictures of me with another guy.

So, are there categories? There must be because what we are doing brings us both some sexual satisfaction yet we don't fit into those other categories. I think that is exactly one of the major reasons I don't think this will end up being a lasting relationship because we still try to do quote unquote normal things together - go to a show, go on vacation, go to his daughter's soccer games, etc. It would be difficult, at least for me, if I viewed him as some inferior or subjugated person. I wouldn't be able to do these other things with him and have it be normal.

Having said all of that...it was me who was cheating and still pretending like life was normal while fucking with another married guy.

I did not see where you mention you husband sleeping with other women, so it does not sound as if it is an open marriage.

I did not see where you said you and your husband meet other couples and swap partners, so it is not swapping.

The idea or concept of you having cuckolded your husband is because you were not being faithful to the marriage.

Some couples believe the wife being a Hotwife and just sleeping around secretly, don't actually mean that the husband is being cuckolded, because he did not know. However the fact of the matter is, that is the essence of being a cuckold in it's truest form. The fact that he likes to watch and you and your extra lover(s) allow this, basically makes you a hotwife and him a cuck. All of the other add-on's you've heard or read about, are just that, extensions of maybe why, or how some relationships began, or grew to include, sometimes even based off of what the extra lover has spinning around in their minds. Perhaps they express something like, "OK, your husband can watch "IF" he does or doesn't do this"

If you and your husband enjoy what relationship you've built, there is no reason to try and fit it in a box and label it... Enjoy

 

[mistyD]

I like your comments. Thanks.

 

[mistyD]

If that's your style of "hotwife / cuckold husband" marriage — in which, by mutual agreement, you are free to date, seduce and fuck whomever you wish, while your husband is faithful to you (or so I gather) — then, I don't see any problem with that.

My guess is, your style of extramarital affairs is not uncommon. The most likely reason is: the vast majority of married women now work, and thus come into contact on a daily basis with men.... some married, some not.... who are coworkers. Affairs are probably even more likely among women who travel, say to business meetings or conferences, without their husbands.

You are spot on. Maybe you should consider detective work! just kidding. Not only did I work, but I travel for my work, and I travel often with co-workers. That's exactly how this happened. He was flirty, I was flirty and somehow the fact that we were married didn't matter at all. The sex was fantastic - better than that. He's a good lover and we kinda fed on each other's drives. I think, of my friends that I know that are having affairs, ALL of them work (and most travel extensively ).

 

[Custer Laststand]

You are spot on. Maybe you should consider detective work!

Cool. When I was a kid, I liked Sherlock Holmes stories and read "The Complete Sherlock Holmes," by Arthur Conan Doyle, from cover to cover. But, I never thought I could be competitive with the great Sherlock.

But anyway — it's good to hear I had some appropriate insight in your case (so to speak).

 

[Sandy Row]

I have to admit that I didn't even know the term when my husband and I got started in this. In my case, I was cheating with a guy at work and my husband found out and I said, let's just separate or throw in the towel (we have no children), and after discussion and wine and more discussion he said he liked the idea of me with another guy. I'm far from naive, but I had never, ever heard of such a thing. Ever. ALL guys I knew were jealous to some degree. We never used the word cuckold. He said....you find guys to fuck and I'll be in the room and watch. Or even you go out on a date, and come back and tell me the sexual details. I swear I at first thought he was joking. Actually, first I thought he was furiously mad. and making sarcastic comments like he sometimes does when he's mad. Yeah, just go off and fuck these guys and tell me about it later. Then I realized he was serious....like totally serious. So, we have been doing this for a little more than a year. I find it exciting, but I'm convinced it's not going to "work" out for us because of family complications (he has a teen daughter who lives part time with us) and other reasons. I don't think it has made our sex together any better. But it has made for wild sex while he is watching for sure.

What I don't get is...there must be categories or degrees of this word "cuckold". In looking at this forum - cuz I definitely feel that I fit into the category of slut wife (and kinda like it)...I see some major disconnects for what we do and what is discussed here. One...there is zero humiliation involved in our case. None whatsoever. Also, he and I still have sex alone (and he usually wants to talk about some previous guy), so there is no chastity belt on his part (maybe that's not the right term). Two - there is no sharing or posting of images. I so totally don't understand that. I would be completely against that. I want to choose the guy that I'm going to get undressed with. I'm NOT ok with him going home with my panties and I don't want pictures either. For us, it's about sex while my husband watches. Who wants their nude pics all over the internet. Yuck. My husband wouldn't like that I don't think, but have not discussed. Three- I don't understand the "making" the husband do something. Wear certain clothes or any of that. My husband and I came to this agreement completely on our own (well, kinda ****** into making some decision because of my cheating). There's zero humiliation or him wearing women's clothes or posting pictures of me with another guy.

So, are there categories? There must be because what we are doing brings us both some sexual satisfaction yet we don't fit into those other categories. I think that is exactly one of the major reasons I don't think this will end up being a lasting relationship because we still try to do quote unquote normal things together - go to a show, go on vacation, go to his daughter's soccer games, etc. It would be difficult, at least for me, if I viewed him as some inferior or subjugated person. I wouldn't be able to do these other things with him and have it be normal.

Having said all of that...it was me who was cheating and still pretending like life was normal while fucking with another married guy.

What a wonderful post.

Regarding different categories,what you describe ie you having sex with other men and your husband not only approving but being turned on by it would fall into the category of Stag and Vixen,as opposed to Cuckold although you could certainly be classed as a Hotwife as opposed to a Vixen,but your husband would be a Stag........lucky him

 

[wifeslilone]

"having sex with other men and your husband not only approving but being turned on by it"

In considering the relationship as described, at first I thought also that this could have been seen as such as a Vixen and Stag relationship.
However, that style of relationship has always been known to the husband and in fact his 'Hotwife', begins having sex with bulls at his request and always under the encouragement of him, her husband.

There are quite a few differences between this type of relationship verses cuckolding.

* The cuckolded husband does not usually promote his wife to engage in sex with others. In fact a cucked man who does "eventually" find out his wife has cheated, almost always finds out afterwards. Hence she cheated and has been unfaithful to her husband = Cuckolded.​

​

Yes, despite all the hot, erotic especially desperate stories you may have encountered online, written by men who claim they were (realistically most only think they would like to be cuckolded) and who always write themselves in the story as being used or of service in some menial or even degrading and humiliating way. Of course as their story culminates, they have found peace and enlightenment, or maybe just a realization that this is life as they know it (or effectively what they think they want).

​

* The Stag husband on the other hand, is always the instigator in coercing his wife into relations in order for her to sleep with others.​

Historically, the "stag" husband has not only been the promoter of the idea, suggesting a bull, granting permission, even assuring his wife as well as the lucky bull stud, this is permissible while the Stag remains a watcher. The Stag is not interested in the other male such as the Bi aspects or common wishes of those who have been cuckolded and if not at first, eventually succumb to. Neither does he desire involvement in a party of three such as a MFM or MMF, (aka: menage a troi). And while the wife may be receiving physical satisfaction from said bull, the stag himself is the provider of such satisfaction to his wife, and is only seen as the giver of gifts.

Now before you begin thinking Misty's husband may fall under the Stag category. I could understand that thinking, I mean considering they still have sex together and there is zero humiliation involved, also he nor she seems desiring of him wearing panties/lingerie or a cock cage, as well there is no "making him do things" that would position him as an inferior. However you will notice in her post where she outlined after she had been caught or confessed and they had their discussion. He "her Husband" said "he liked the idea." Now he also went on to say: "you find guys to fuck and I'll be in the room and watch." At this point I still had him classified as Stag. However, the sentence went on to include him saying "Or even you go out on a date, and come back and tell me the sexual details" and that simple admittance in and of itself, because it removes his attendance which provides emotional and safety support via personal supervision, it shuffled her husband directly into a cuckolds territory.

 

[Laceyfemme]

I think the only real dividing line is whether the wife chooses when, where, and who she has sex with, or if the husband does. Beyond that, you could develop a whole classification scheme based on humiliation, female domination, sissification, etc, etc.

 

[wifeslilone]

I think the only real dividing line is whether the wife chooses when, where, and who she has sex with, or if the husband does. Beyond that, you could develop a whole classification scheme based on humiliation, female domination, sissification, etc, etc.

Which was the entire point in my last post, these lines have already been drawn, as these are two distinctly different and separate lifestyles.

 

[Laceyfemme]

Yes, I think we are in agreement. Cheers.

 

[CuckoldFamilyGuy]

I one time wrote a long post about the various types of cuckold going from a dominate husband to a sissy homo husband and all the catagories in between. I believe I came up with 8 different catagories. The only difference between your marrige relation ship and mine is the fact that I encouraged my wife to have sex with an other man rather than her cheating on me initially. Like you we still have sex, I'm not caged, humiliated, sissified or a homosexual. I hope all continues to go well for you and your husband in your "cuckold" relationship.