I live in a world of self-doubt. I come from, and am in a long career of pressure and command, but live in a place where I am exhausted of being in command: I want something else, if only at home in my "safe place," where I don't carry that burden, where she's got the final say.
As I read and listen, it seems that such thoughts aren't uncommon among men, but I wonder how much of it is common among women, or whether these are merely male fantasies?
Why is so much of what's discussed, what's presented in images and stories, all racial or ethnic? Why is it always a white woman and a black man, with the emphasis put on his color? Is this something that women really fantasize about a trope that men simply fall into for lack of imagination? Or is it something else? Why is the woman never black? Why must she be be white? Why does it matter?
It seems that the fantasy, or at least the male one, isn't really focused on a woman taking what she wants, but on the sexual appeal to a man of watching his wife be taken; she becomes the victim, the husband or boyfriend becomes the voyeur, and the real object in the fantasy is the "bull" or the interloper who sexualizes the wife or girlfriend.
In my world of escape from the burden of work and command and responsibility, I defer to my wife, not to a man. My wife is respected and has the power of say and choice and act and life. She might choose a lover, but that's her choice, not someone who dominates and abuses her. Do women really fantasize about such things?
In my world of self-doubt, I lack faith that I'd have the conviction to support her, or take a subservient role in a relationship she might choose.
In my world, I wonder if most of those who have these fantasies are older, if we are merely compensating for our own lack of a steller sex life, and whether we are simply taking the second-best role in our imagination. We can't be the stud, and we can't please our wives, so we slide into the passenger seat and imagine a world in which we support them making a life of our inability. A form of emotional justification for our own inadequacy. A mental health salvage job. We have pieces of a puzzle that don't fit, so we make a new picture and carve them to fit.
The emphasis on black men and white women is confusing, and seems very one-track. It seems that the cuckold in all these fantasies is always white. Can't a black man be a cuckold, if he wishes? Or if she wishes? Can't the wife be whatever she wishes? Must she be the victim to a dominating man?
There seems to be an unyielding formula here. Why?
As I read and listen, it seems that such thoughts aren't uncommon among men, but I wonder how much of it is common among women, or whether these are merely male fantasies?
Why is so much of what's discussed, what's presented in images and stories, all racial or ethnic? Why is it always a white woman and a black man, with the emphasis put on his color? Is this something that women really fantasize about a trope that men simply fall into for lack of imagination? Or is it something else? Why is the woman never black? Why must she be be white? Why does it matter?
It seems that the fantasy, or at least the male one, isn't really focused on a woman taking what she wants, but on the sexual appeal to a man of watching his wife be taken; she becomes the victim, the husband or boyfriend becomes the voyeur, and the real object in the fantasy is the "bull" or the interloper who sexualizes the wife or girlfriend.
In my world of escape from the burden of work and command and responsibility, I defer to my wife, not to a man. My wife is respected and has the power of say and choice and act and life. She might choose a lover, but that's her choice, not someone who dominates and abuses her. Do women really fantasize about such things?
In my world of self-doubt, I lack faith that I'd have the conviction to support her, or take a subservient role in a relationship she might choose.
In my world, I wonder if most of those who have these fantasies are older, if we are merely compensating for our own lack of a steller sex life, and whether we are simply taking the second-best role in our imagination. We can't be the stud, and we can't please our wives, so we slide into the passenger seat and imagine a world in which we support them making a life of our inability. A form of emotional justification for our own inadequacy. A mental health salvage job. We have pieces of a puzzle that don't fit, so we make a new picture and carve them to fit.
The emphasis on black men and white women is confusing, and seems very one-track. It seems that the cuckold in all these fantasies is always white. Can't a black man be a cuckold, if he wishes? Or if she wishes? Can't the wife be whatever she wishes? Must she be the victim to a dominating man?
There seems to be an unyielding formula here. Why?
