IR Hotwife gone cold

[cy7007]

Advice needed. Briefly, wife has done MFM with me and a long distance friend, then first interracial with a guy who really rocked her world. I handled the first time badly as I was in it for MFM and my first ever bout of stage fright frustrated me. But after the fact I admitted to her I was wrong to respond in any negative fashion and begged her forgiveness. I was not critical, just confused and fearful of how it made me feel with her really getting off big time on BBC.

Convinced her to try it again...and after 4 additional times which she really enjoyed, she had a kind of "been there, done that" attitude and really has no interest in Hotwife actitivities. We have a great sex life and I am not cuck at all, nor does she find that a turn on for her (she likes me to participate to watch, but to still be strong in her eyes). I know women are wired differently, and I want to respect her wishes, but after her first IR experience she looked me in the eye and said, "I could get used to that", so my conflicted emotions got in the way of really letting the bird fly..if you will.
My question is, how to reignite and bring out that woman who was hot for it?

Anyone have experience in this area? I don't want to trick her, but would love to here ideas no matter how off the wall. At the end of the day our marriage is larger than some IR fun, but wow it really was incredible and I would love for us both to equally enjoy IR hotwife lifestyle together as part of an already great relationship.

Thanks for any help.

 

[cy7007]

Any constructive thoughts?

 

[gears]

I have thought...but not any that you want to hear. You kind of answered your own question when you said that women are wired differently. It's late and I will leave it laying.

 

[JMNBABE@comcast.net]

Well, I'll wade n here......are you hanging about while she "hotwife's"? Running the show, telling her what to do, what to say, horning in on the action, that kind of thing? That pretty much describes my hubby, bcak when I USED to let him"watch" me with Lovers.......some of us just aren't wired to be "porn actresses" for you guys.

We do this because it suits US, and not just because it suits you and you think our "switch" is tied to your little peepee's and once they go off, so does out switch. it is NOT just sex, for most of us......women NEED a deeper emotional connection for this to work and THAT is when it is BEST for us!!

Maybe not so emotional that we want to leave you and be with the Lover, but somewhere in between....and it is an emotional roller coaster ride too because when the sex is THAT good with our Lovers, it is hard NOT to let the rest of our emotions take over and cross that line between Lovers and In Love.

Maybe if you offered to BUG OUT and let her go her own way, and share the experience with you AFTERWARDS the whole thing would be better for her......but I HATED being seen as a "movie" while I was MAKING LOVE to someone....and for women (most of us anyway) we are MAKING LOVE, not just fucking.

Some not so pleasent things to consider....but without a doubt, whatever has cooled her passion is DIRECTLY related to you. From experience....

JMNBABE

 

[cy7007]

Thanks for replies.

 

[Danishcpl]

You hit it!

JMNBABE, I think you hit it on the spot!

As a hub I am sitting here thinking wow, she is writing about me and my beloved. I consider my self as a fairly intelligent and empahtic white hub but I have never seen it that way. But I am allmost certan you are rigth. Guess I could use some coaching now and then.

Anyway some changes will happend.... upon this.

Thank you.

Danish hub

Well, I'll wade n here......are you hanging about while she "hotwife's"? Running the show, telling her what to do, what to say, horning in on the action, that kind of thing? That pretty much describes my hubby, bcak when I USED to let him"watch" me with Lovers.......some of us just aren't wired to be "porn actresses" for you guys.

We do this because it suits US, and not just because it suits you and you think our "switch" is tied to your little peepee's and once they go off, so does out switch. it is NOT just sex, for most of us......women NEED a deeper emotional connection for this to work and THAT is when it is BEST for us!!

Maybe not so emotional that we want to leave you and be with the Lover, but somewhere in between....and it is an emotional roller coaster ride too because when the sex is THAT good with our Lovers, it is hard NOT to let the rest of our emotions take over and cross that line between Lovers and In Love.

Maybe if you offered to BUG OUT and let her go her own way, and share the experience with you AFTERWARDS the whole thing would be better for her......but I HATED being seen as a "movie" while I was MAKING LOVE to someone....and for women (most of us anyway) we are MAKING LOVE, not just fucking.

Some not so pleasent things to consider....but without a doubt, whatever has cooled her passion is DIRECTLY related to you. From experience....

JMNBABE

 

[Danishcpl]

You hit it!

JMNBABE, I think you hit it on the spot!

As a hub I am sitting here thinking wow, she is writing about me and my beloved. I consider my self as a fairly intelligent and empahtic white hub but I have never seen it that way. But I am allmost certan you are rigth. Guess I could use some coaching now and then.

Anyway some changes will happend.... upon this.

Thank you.

Danish hub

Well, I'll wade n here......are you hanging about while she "hotwife's"? Running the show, telling her what to do, what to say, horning in on the action, that kind of thing? That pretty much describes my hubby, bcak when I USED to let him"watch" me with Lovers.......some of us just aren't wired to be "porn actresses" for you guys.

We do this because it suits US, and not just because it suits you and you think our "switch" is tied to your little peepee's and once they go off, so does out switch. it is NOT just sex, for most of us......women NEED a deeper emotional connection for this to work and THAT is when it is BEST for us!!

Maybe not so emotional that we want to leave you and be with the Lover, but somewhere in between....and it is an emotional roller coaster ride too because when the sex is THAT good with our Lovers, it is hard NOT to let the rest of our emotions take over and cross that line between Lovers and In Love.

Maybe if you offered to BUG OUT and let her go her own way, and share the experience with you AFTERWARDS the whole thing would be better for her......but I HATED being seen as a "movie" while I was MAKING LOVE to someone....and for women (most of us anyway) we are MAKING LOVE, not just fucking.

Some not so pleasent things to consider....but without a doubt, whatever has cooled her passion is DIRECTLY related to you. From experience....

JMNBABE