Book 7
I know it sounds crazy but it is really incredible to watch and see her desires change and grow. I mean not even a year ago she had none of these interests and although it sounds weird to say it is actually fun experiencing this. It's like another dimension to our lives and in our marriage has been opened up. I am really turned on by seeing desire in her for herself now.
As strange as it sounds I really don't have a concern about our relationship together. Indeed, I do believe we may even be stronger together in that we are able to open up and admit more of ourselves to each other. Whereas she used to think I was crazy to want her to be with other guys I think she now genuinely understands that it does turn me on as perverse as that may sound. The longer we are going on this road, the more I feel that she is sensing my arousal and in some ways basing her behaviour on how I would feel. The change I see is that she seems to be more understanding of what does turn me on. I guess it's obvious to her from how I respond when she teases me or tells me things and my response is a huge hard-on and intense desire for her.
She's out food shopping right now but I've already thought about what I want to tell her later. I just want to tell her that she can do whatever she wants and that the only thing I really would want is that she continues to share and be open with me about whatever she does.
If she really wanted that it was Peter during the week and me only on weekends, I would probably go along with it just as long as it was more of an informal type of thing. I think that's where I would sort of draw the line, if it went beyond something that we were sharing together. With all of this talk now, I'm surely horned up for later tonight.
******
Last night she turned the teasing back on for sure. She started as I was undressing her, when I took her top off and then slid her jeans down leaving her just in panties and her bra, and her teasing started, "Peter likes this set. He likes the bra not being so padded so he can see my nipples get hard and he likes how tight the panties are. What do you think?" With that she did a little spin in front of me.
Then she added how it didn't really matter because she prefers being naked when she's with him. A few minutes later after we were both undressed we shared a glass of wine and she asked why I was staring at her. I just told her that it still turned me on incredibly to think of her sitting around with Peter just like she is with me.
She was lying next to me and said that she's going to miss her Thursdays with him as she was now very used to them. Then she sat up and added, just to tease me, "I normally would be lying like this with Peter" and with that she raised one leg and bent it at her knee. She saw my own cock start to throb as I looked her over and had an unobstructed view of her pussy in all its glory. "Peter likes to look at me like that too," she added.
I told her that I loved the changes in her that I've seen over the past few months and that I felt much more at ease about her and Peter. She smiled and took my face in her hands and kissed me and said she too felt a lot more confident about everything, herself, us, her work and, of course, Peter. That was when I told her that I knew things were going to change again for us and that whatever she wanted to do was fine as long as we were still us and we still shared everything. She smiled and held me close again and said she was very lucky and again kissed me.
This time though I kept going and began to kiss down her neck and her upper chest. I could tell by how her breathing had changed that she was getting turned on. By the time I took her breasts in my hands her nipples were rock hard.
I got to her pussy and she was soaked and it didn't take long before she started to pull at my body and on my cock to get up on top of her. I knelt between her spread legs and slapped and rubbed my cock against her open pussy lips and she started to moan.
She asked in between breaths if I liked what I saw and then turned it on and said that this is how she likes to be with Peter and with that she pulled her knees way back. I pushed my cock into her now gaping open pussy and she just said quietly as she pushed her hands against my chest, "go slow for a bit" adding after a pause, "I love it when Peter does that".
I felt like she was narrating one of their fucks and she could certainly tell it was having an effect on me as I could barely hold back from just slamming into her. With her hands still on my chest she pulled her knees closer together and held me back for a moment. I pulled them under my arms and held her tightly as I pushed into her. She knew I loved this position and after a minute or so she started again, "Mmm, Peter loves this position too" and then added, "I love feeling him enter me sooo slowly like you are!”
My cock was in overdrive by then and I just remember marvelling at how her pussy felt being so deep in her and how wet and open she felt in that position. I know I told her at one point how it turned me on that Peter's cock gets to go in her like mine was at the time and she moaned along with me at that thought.
She'd cum several times and I was getting close when she slid herself out from under me and sat up to have a drink of water. She looked just so radiant at that moment, well fucked;nipples hard; breasts swollen;, a sheen of sweat on her forehead with her hair all messed up. Her pussy looked delectable, swollen, open, wet and just so inviting. She sat there and casually caught her breath while I lay there with my cock still hard and throbbing. All I could think about looking at her was that this must be how she looks with Peter between their fucks. The only thing I thought would be even more erotic would be if she would have his sperm between her legs dribbling out of her!
At that moment I realized I wanted to see if I could watch them again or, at least, try to. Seeing her sitting like that last night, for whatever reason, something just said to me that I think I'm maybe ready to watch them now and the idea that her arousal I was seeing at that moment could be from her and Peter being together just drove me crazy.
I didn't tell her that but as we started in again and I got back on top of her I did tell her that it still turned me on incredibly that she was fucking Peter like she is. This time she let me have my fun and she very willingly pulled her legs back and let me hold them with my arms. She felt so damn juicy! That's all I can say to describe it, juicy!
And did I ever start to fuck her, oh man, it was like I'd been waiting for days and days. She teased me a bit more telling me that Peter likes to fuck her in this position too; she told me that he likes feeling her wet and open like I do. She then told me that she was glad I liked for Peter to cum in her as it made her feel wonderful when he does.
I think she was sort of off in her own little world as she just talked as she wasn't really looking at me. She said stuff like loving how Peter felt and liking him cumming in her and, it was clear she was saying that for me, I then had one of the best orgasms I've had in a long time. The effect of the day off and the long build-up to fucking her was incredible. I swear at the end it felt like my cock grew and swelled up even more as I finally let loose. She giggled as we both came down from our mutual orgasms and said how messy she was and felt. As we slid apart and I saw what she meant, she'd cum a lot and so had I and at that moment I felt this tremendous feeling of emotion as I thought of her and Peter showering together after they'd made a similar mess.
She slid off the bed and got a warm washcloth. She let me watch as she put one leg up on the bed and wiped herself all over and then she handed it over to let me do the same. After that we got back into bed and spooned up as we watched TV.
I asked her this morning whether she thought she'd be seeing Peter today. She said she wasn't sure and would let me know more later today about what she's thinking as she doesn't have it fully sorted out yet.
******
She did NOT do anything yesterday with Peter but we also didn't have sex last night either nor teasing or anything. It wasn't like she said no but more that it had been a long day for both of us and we were both pretty tired.
Maybe I'm seeing things but this morning she did seem to spend a bit more time getting ready than usual. She left a while ago and I'm finishing up paperwork that's impossible to do without interruptions at the office. Sounds crazy but I'm sort of hoping she'll let herself go.
******
I knew she was up to something yesterday and I'm still turned on thinking about it this morning.
When I came home last night about 6:30 she was home already putting dinner back in the oven to warm up. I kissed her and she had this big smile on her face. I asked her, "What’s up; how was your day?"
She kept on smiling and said, "It was great!"
She still had this smile so I asked, "What’s with the smile?"
She looked around making sure the kids weren't near and said quietly, "can you taste Peter on my lips?"
My eyes opened up like saucers and before I could say anything she whispered, "You said I could have fun, right? I don't know what came over me but I gave him a blow-job after work! I hope you're okay with it."
I was speechless and she said, "Are you?!" All I did was take her back in my arms and kissed her even more deeply, our tongues all over each other. I swear my mind went crazy and I could feel her lips were a bit swollen. Could I taste him at all? It was just so intense.
She pushed me away and smiled. I told her I wanted her upstairs but she said she needed to take care of dinner and that, "there would be time later".
10pm came and we turned off the TV and she joked and said, "I have your stimulus package here!" and with that she rolled towards me and began getting passionate. I was so turned on when she pulled my cock out and said, "hmmm - another cock for today!" Oh god, that was intense. When she started sucking on me all I could think was that she'd done the same for Peter not 5 hours earlier. I was near bursting right away.
She pushed me back on the bed and she climbed on top first and it was the most incredible sex show I've ever seen from her. She squatted over my stiff cock and put on this incredible show for me as I lay there. She had her hands all over herself, rubbing her clit; pulling her pussy open; squeezing her breasts and nipples and all the while slowly lowering herself onto my cock!
As she came to rest she leaned forward and I held her tightly as I pushed the last few millimetres of my cock into her. I told her that was so hot and she said, "I know ..... Peter likes it too!”
That did it for me, I thrust up into her so hard that I almost knocked her off of me and I grabbed both her ass cheeks and held her as I started to just go wild. She just told me over and over, "Do it; fuck me good". We've used this position before but usually she wants to turn over at the end when I'm about to cum and when she'd already cum several times. Not last night though. In between both our moaning she asked me if I could get off in that position and from what she'd said and done there was no doubt. I moaned back "yeah" and she just started urging me on. It was so erotic. I mean she'll be vocal and graphic and stuff but she really got into it saying, "Fuck me ... cum in me ... fill me up already" over and over. The lubricant was incredible and I swear I felt like a machine at one point. At the end I grabbed her ass cheeks harder and pulled her down onto me as I finally let loose. She let out this incredibly sexy low moan and I felt her whole body shake just after I'd started to come down, it was so incredible to feel.
After that we just lay together and she joked, "so, I guess you were okay with my surprise tonight?!"
I held her close and it was one of those moments I've spoken of and I think I can understand it. She had a wild time with Peter, not just yesterday after work, but at other times and it seemed to me last night that what we just had together was like it was added onto what had happened earlier. It was kind of like icing on a cupcake or a dessert after a great meal. At that moment I felt that same closeness I've felt before but I think with more understanding now.
To understand the issue I had with watching them previously (I remember it vividly as it was quite intense for me at the time) they aren't opposed to me watching them at all and back in December we all agreed that it would be good for us, especially me to be there. I do still want to do that and I'm fairly sure they would still be wanting it too. I had some issues back then that I think are, if not totally behind me/us now, at least at the point where I can deal with it.
Suzanna shared that with me this morning that they ARE getting together tomorrow night adding, "So it’s a good thing you enjoyed yourself last night!"
It may be one of the last few times on Thursdays.
******
It’s Wednesday so we're not going to be messing around tonight. It's weird that it feels almost normal now for this on Wednesdays and also for me to actually WANT her to fuck Peter tomorrow night so I can have her later on. Now that I think I have this revelation on why this feels so good for us it'll be interesting to see if I continue to feel this way or if it's just all in my mind.
Still, the idea that she just gave Peter a blow-job yesterday, just like that, is keeping me hot and horny for tonight.
******
Last night was just as good as Thursdays always are and I actually find myself almost eagerly awaiting them. She was a bit later than usual, not getting home till well after 7pm. I was okay with that as I know they are enjoying their last few evenings together, at least for a while.
I was thinking that perhaps a sports/exercise type of excuse might be good for Peter to use as a reason for late nights to his wife but I haven't suggested it to Suzanna yet.
She shooed me away from following her upstairs right away and I begrudgingly gave in. By 10pm I was so eager to rip off her sweatshirt and pants.
I did go down on her last night before we started to get into it. Her pussy was not quite a true creampie but Peter’s semen in her is an obvious taste. Since getting her IUD it's been much more pleasant to go down on her and lick her without tasting spermicide. If I did have the chance one day I don't think I’d hesitate to do it right after he'd finished in her. I have long told Suzanna that even tasting my own cum in her is a turn on; something about knowing a cock was deep inside her when it let loose.
She was pretty tired by 10pm though so after getting her most of the way to another orgasm, I climbed on top and she was fine with me holding her legs back and doing it the way I wanted. Looking down at my cock in her and knowing Peter was in her earlier is, to this day, still a wicked turn on. She held her knees back for me and encouraged me to, "do it for yourself" and assured me she'd be right there with me.
Even a few hours later it seemed she was still VERY wet inside and she told me several times how physical and amorous Peter had been. In my head I told myself that was her way of telling me he'd cum a lot in her and going with that thought it didn't take me long to add my own load to her.
I offered to go down and lick her clean afterwards but she said she'd had enough for one night and felt kind of sensitive ‘down there’ so instead I got her a warm washcloth and we went to bed shortly afterwards.
******
Last night didn't go as planned. We got into a bit of an argument about something unrelated to sex and it spilled over into the bedroom such that there was no nookie last night.
All is mended now, actually, all was mended late last night so there is hope for this evening.
******
All was forgiven last night. Our son was out until quite late (after midnight when he got a ride home) so from 9pm on we had quite a bit of time for ourselves.
Suzanna came out and asked me how I was feeling lately about everything that was going on. I told her that I was happy and I added that her being happy really added to my happiness too. She too said she liked how things were right now and that she was going to miss her Thursdays when they come to an end at the end of March. She told me that Peter had been feeling some pressure at home and that he felt they should change things up a bit. She said that while they haven't figured out what they may do she was hopeful that they would find some alternative.
That was the opportunity so I asked her if Peter could find some other excuse to get out of the house like maybe joining a gym or something like that.
Suzanna said that she didn't see how that would work for her since that would mean she'd need some sort of ‘story’ for her to use with our kids plus, she didn't think it would be something they could ‘schedule’.
I told her she could try being more spontaneous. She was surprised at me suggesting a thing, that I would be okay with that. I was a bit confused and she said that she thought scheduling Thursdays made it easier on me and wasn't sure I would be okay with her running out at other times.
I told her it wasn't me she needed to be concerned about but more what she'd say to our kids. In reality, they probably wouldn't notice or care as long as it didn't impact them.
She said she'd think about it and talk it over with Peter as an option.
I just came out and asked her if she's ever thought of someone other than Peter. She smiled and said that she does but that she's got a good thing going right now and unless that changes, she just enjoys thinking about it and doesn't have any desire to pursue anyone else. She then looked at me and said something about it, "taking a while to get really comfortable with someone" and she then re-emphasized how safe and comfortable she is with Peter.
We started getting amorous and as we undressed and got onto the bed she told me, "you know, he wants to spend the night with me". Just like that, very nonchalantly, as if it's no big deal.
I stopped playing with her to just look at her and asked if that’s something she wanted. She was quiet for a moment which pretty much told me her answer but she did say, "Well, it would be nicer than always having to run out afterwards". I wasn't sure what to say as this was definitely a first!
I had long expected to hear this from her maybe even WANTED her to fancy this. All I could say back was, "how would it happen?”
She told me they'd just tossed the idea around. Peter said that he was thinking that he'd tell his wife that this big-project was coming to an end and there was a big party and that he'd be staying overnight. She thought it might work but wasn't sure how I would be about that.
I told her that I'd need to think about it for a while. I said, "I'm not saying no but I'm not saying yes, yet, either". She smiled and said something like she'd try to convince me to be okay with it and that became the basic premise of all of her teasing last night!
She told me all sorts of stuff as we got frisky in bed; she told me how nice it would be for her not to have to jump up and get all cleaned up to come home; she told me how fun it would be to have sex with him in the morning.
I told her it wasn't the sex that was giving me agitation; it was her spending the entire night with him. To be honest, it brought back a lot of the intimacy-issues I'd felt earlier but, at the same time, it turned me on incredibly and I couldn't hide that from her last night.
She told me to think about how he might be able to easily have sex with her 2 or 3 times before they'd fall asleep and how maybe they could do more in the morning! She did that just to dig into me since I'm at best good for 2 times before I'd need a rest. Just the way she said it, like she really wanted him to fuck her all night long, damn, it really got me hot.
When we finally were fucking she told me how lucky she is that she gets to, "feel this from 2 great guys," As she lay back and really let me get deep into her she asked me in that giggly coy manner, "it really turns you on to know Peter fucks me like this too, doesn't it?"
That was it, on top of everything else, at that moment thinking of Peter deep in her like I was; thinking of her body milking his cock the way she was doing mine; thinking of him cumming inside her over and over just set me off like crazy.
As we lay there afterwards hugging and kissing I asked her if she thought there was a chance I could maybe watch them again. She rolled herself onto her side and looked at me and said, "Do you think you'll be able to?"
All I said was, "I want to try".
She smiled and said, "I'll talk with Peter and see what he thinks".
******
I know how I felt last night but now, later on the next day, I am having second thoughts about how I feel about her spending the night with him.
I started to think about it more and I don't know if it's such a good idea for them to spend the entire night together. I was looking at her in the kitchen earlier and thinking about a lot of stuff such as how I'm really okay with them fucking (that part is easy to accept) but now, after thinking about it, I'm worried about whether spending the whole night is a good idea or not.
I think maybe I’m rushing things a bit too much or something as this isn't feeling that good with me the longer I'm think about it. I know we have a lot of time to talk about it before it might happen so I'm going to try to put it out of my head for a while. Maybe thinking about watching them again started this ill feeling in me again. Then there’s my suggestion of ‘maybe he can go to the gym’ idea part of me says I’m crazy for encouraging them to continue. On top of that is the other part of me that wants to see where it all goes. I just have the shivers thinking about it now that the sexual-high from last night has worn off a bit.
*******
Sometimes I think it's crazy that it was me who wanted to get on this roller-coaster in the first place.
Last night we didn't really talk much more about it, I just told her that I needed some time to think about it. She was all concerned at first that I was going to say no until I told her that I need to think about it some more; that I wasn't necessarily going to say no but that I needed time to get my thoughts together and then to have time to discuss them with her more. She seemed to like that idea and seemed to be comfortable with waiting to talk about it when I was ready.
Since we were talking so openly she asked me more about my request to watch them again or, as she put it, to ‘try to’ watch them again. She asked me what I was thinking and added whether I thought that watching them might be part of my deciding on her overnight request. I hadn't really connected the two but when she asked it that way, I told her that I guessed that if I was okay with watching them, that it would probably help my decision as there would be less for me to have on my mind. (I didn’t mention that there might be more!).
As we got friskier she started asking me more about watching her. I told her that I found their foreplay difficult to witness and I confessed that I also found thinking about that part to be difficult sometimes. She asked me to tell her more so I just laid it out that I did want to see her and Peter fucking but that seeing them be so tender and loving together during foreplay just seemed too difficult for me. Yes, I do KNOW that they do all of this stuff together; I know how they must be for Suzanna to have the sex she does with him; I know he must really get her going.
What I don't know is whether I could take watching them fucking but not watching them build up to it.
Anyway, that's what I suggested in reply to her, that maybe I find a way to come in and join them after they're past the touchy-kissy parts. She smiled at that suggestion and just said, "Whatever would make you be okay with this." Then she said, "I'll talk to Peter and be sure he's okay but I'm sure he will be. He was okay with what we tried last time; I guess he'll be fine with this new idea.”
We did make love last night after our talking wound down. She was very tender with me and hugged me a lot as I entered her. She told me over and over again how she loved me and loved that we could talk so openly about all of this. Once I was in her all the way I told her that, even now, if I just let myself think that Peter’s cock has been where mine was at that moment , that it just filled me with desire for her.
Let’s just say that she ‘gently teased’ me after that. I was on top of her with my arms fully extended and we were both watching our bodies come together. She tipped her hips back a bit (I KNOW she likes to look down and see my hard cock going in and out of her) so we could both watch her. She teased me by saying stuff about, "Peter liking this position too" and her liking to watch him just like she was with me.
As our passions built up I dropped drop down and held her tightly. I felt her legs wrap around mine and soon the only thing we both heard was each other’s moaning. In my head all I could do was see image after image of her and Peter (and I'm sure from how she felt with me, that she may have been doing the same) but all we said to each other were loving words. We did cum almost together, she reached first and feeling her tremble under me was enough to send me over the edge right behind her.
We have quite the snowstorm out here today so I'm off to shovel the driveway before venturing into work a bit late. Not much more to share right now. I would like to say that I'm okay with them spending the night together but I'm not able to tell her that just yet.
*******
I wanted to share some of what we talked about on Wednesday. It was some pretty frank and open conversation that she started out with her asking me, "how do you feel with us not having sex tonight?”
I was caught off guard by that as one of her opening lines! She told me to be honest with her and that there wasn't much I could possibly say that would change anything. So, after downing the last of my beer I came out and told her that it drove me crazy with desire that she was saving herself for Peter the next night. She told me that she also liked it that she liked how she felt, knowing that I wanted her and herself but knowing that the next person she WOULD have sex with was Peter.
I told her that after she went on the IUD that I didn't expect her to let me have her on Wednesdays anyway. She was surprised by that; surprised that I knew her that well and knew of how she was thinking and feeling.
She opened up with me too. She said she loved the sexual experience and desire that Peter has brought out in her. She said that she feels so confident personally and sexually and I told her I could tell from when we're together. I asked her what she thought was going to happen after March and she was honest and said she didn't know.
She said Peter had already started to suggest to his wife that once his Thursday meeting/conference calls are over that he may start going to the gym. So perhaps my suggestion was not so wild after all.
I asked her if she was going to miss her Thursdays. She hesitated a bit before answering me and nodded. She said she was sorry if that bothered me or anything but that she has now come to really enjoy and even look forward to seeing him.
I told her it was really okay, that I wanted her to enjoy herself and I reminded her of what we'd talked about last week and at other times, of how I felt what we had together when she comes home is just like the dessert after a good meal; that it builds on from what she's doing and that I was no longer scared to say it, that I too enjoyed her having sex with Peter.
She asked me why I wanted to watch her. I was stuck on how to say what I wanted to say so I stumbled along trying to tell her that I wanted to be a part and to be there as she experienced her (and his) pleasure. She asked me why I thought I'd feel different now than the last time. I was honest and I told her that since I opened up with her and that since I felt more confident and comfortable with all of this that I thought I would be able to see them in a different light.
I told her that I thought I still felt threatened and that I don't know that I really accepted it back then but I told her that now I do and that I wanted to join them after they'd gotten started. She smiled at that idea and admitted that she too felt a bit uneasy with me watching the start of them getting started.
She was saying something about how long to wait and how that might work out okay. My mind was still racing at everything and there was this quiet pause and she just looked at me and then leaned over and kissed me which brought me back to our conversation. I knew what I wanted to say but it just didn't fit into what we were talking about and the conversation wandered all over until I finally just said it. I looked at her, "I want to be there when you both cum". I said it quietly just like that and she just looked at me and smiled, as if it said everything in those few words.
Last night was very arousing for me. Maybe for the first time as we cleaned up in the kitchen and we were going through some of the mail and stuff, I suddenly realized that this night (actually every Thursday night) that the whole time we keep ourselves busy till our son goes to bed. In that time, the entire time, she's got Peter's cum in her! I don't know why but that was all I could think about last night. I mean this is nothing new, it's obvious when we get in bed and stuff, but for some reason it just hit me last night in a strange way. I couldn't take my eyes off her crotch the rest of the time till we went upstairs just after 10pm.
My mind had been racing knowing that not more than 4 hours earlier Peter had been fucking her and that she'd been wet from him since then. When we did get into our room I started pretty aggressively but she pushed me back and said I should relax and wait a bit and for me to, "get comfortable" (which means strip down to our undies). She did the same and it was just so erotic seeing her sitting on the bed next to me wearing just panties and a bra and, again thinking the whole time, knowledge of what lay between her legs was just driving me crazy!
She saw my cock struggling inside my boxers and she reached in and fished it out and then just sat back and looked at it. She didn't so much tease me as simply make me aware that she had fucked Peter earlier. "Peter was hard like that before, uh, before I got him to calm down." She spread her legs apart a bit and showed me the damp spot between them, "I'm all wet from him". She pulled down the bra-cups and said, ".. and my nipples are still hard from him".
She wasn't teasing me; she was telling me exactly how she felt!
Finally when she did get naked she started to stroke me and as she spread her legs said, "Do you want to see Peter's pussy?"
Oh god did that get to me and I know she felt it in my cock in her hand. She spread her legs a little wider and said, "He made a mess earlier but I cleaned up a bit before coming home."
With that I could see how wet and swollen she was and I told her, "Looks like he was a bit rough on you"
She gave me that same giggle again and said quietly, "The second time he was".
That drove me crazy and to be honest I don't recall anything specific after that other than just about jumping on her and starting to kiss her and run my hands all over her body.
*******
Normally I would be turned on (that's funny, ‘normally’) but last night I seemed to be very aware of all of Suzanna, all of her curves and nooks and crannies as I ran my hands all over her we kissed. I cupped her butt and ran my fingers down to her pussy and I could feel she was very damp and very HOT; I just had to have her.
I pushed her onto her back and began kissing my way down her neck; down her chest, sucking gently at her nipples, wondering if I could taste Peter at all, and then down to her pussy. I licked tenderly as I very gently spread her lips apart. My wet fingers glided almost frictionless between them and I softly pulled her open.
It seemed like I was so much more aware of everything last night than usually; looking down and seeing her lying there with my fingers spreading her pussy apart; seeing her breathing heavy and her nipples pointed towards the ceiling like little pebbles, it was incredible. I pushed my finger inside her vagina. It was hot and felt almost like melted wax inside. I arched my finger and rubbed the ‘roof’ near where I think her g-spot is and she let out this moan that sent chills through me. I pulled my finger out and licked it. Yes, I could taste Peter in her. It's an obvious taste but it was so damn arousing to me I thought my cock was going to burst as I leaned down to lick her gently. Her pussy lips felt so tender and warm and smooth to my tongue and when I ran it up the middle of her between the wetness, the taste and how she arched her back and moaned, oh god, it was just incredible. I thought I'd cum without even touching myself. I'd tasted Peter's cum in her before but last night it just seemed to touch a nerve and drove me crazy.
The next thing I knew we were fucking and fucking hard. There is nothing as incredible as feeling her getting wetter and wetter the deeper inside I pushed.
We both only lasted a few minutes and it seemed I'd brought her to climax several times and she wasn't far behind me at the end. As I lay on top of her thrusting gently she wrapped her arms and legs around me and I am pretty sure she had a really nice long orgasm as we both hugged tightly.
I know it sounds so fairy-tale-ish and I'm sure it probably would have been pretty boring to watch but, for me, cumming inside her at that moment was just very intense last night.
We talked a little afterwards and I came out and asked her if she'd ever consider or want another guy? She turned my head and stared at me for a moment and said something like, "when I'm ready, maybe, but right now you and Peter are all I need".
I’m hoping for a little Friday-night action but I'm not sure she's up to it as, actually, we both seem a bit tired today!
*******
I may have not made it clearer but from what Suzanna has said and from what I've picked up on, Peter's wife is beginning to resume her ‘wifely duties’ more and more. She mentioned it more than once when I asked jokingly, "so, what happened with your quickies with Peter?!” I’m thinking that's also part of what may be bringing an end to their regular Thursday nights. I seriously doubt the whole ‘gym idea’ will work out and I certainly don't think a ring from Peter is in the cards....
So I'm guessing that this will soon become a test for Suzanna of just how much does she like having another guy. I’ve told her that I will miss the intensity it's brought us and our relationship and reminded her that she is free to find another guy but I seriously don't see her having any interests there right now. Maybe after they stop the weekly get-together but I don't see a desire in her at the moment. Suzanna also did remind me that Peter sort of had an interest in her before all of this started, she merely gave into it.
******
Suzanna had told me over and over again that she was going to probably be very late tonight. She was non-committal until last night when she said she thought she'd be home by 10pm or so. I knew this already as she'd told me, also several times, that she wanted to enjoy the last few Thursdays as much as she could.
Aside of the occasional teasing, not much happened last night. She did linger in her panties and then naked for a while last night as we got ready for bed. At one point she said, "Not for you till tomorrow night; remember, I'll be late too". That sort of stuff.
This morning after she dried off from the shower (and I know she did it to tease me) she pranced around naked as she did her makeup and then put together a little bag of stuff to take with her for later. I've seen this before but not her so open about putting stuff in it. Aside of a pair of panties and a tight top she picked out a dildo and some lubricant and openly let me see her put them in her bag along with 2 Penthouse Letters magazines. It took only a few seconds and when she looked up and saw me watching she smiled and then started getting dressed.
******
She didn't get home till after 10:30 and all I can say is that she looked quite happy and quite tired.
We went upstairs right away. She smelled clean so I knew she'd washed up and probably took a shower with Peter. When we kissed I swore I could feel her lips were slightly swollen. Her whole body felt warm. She kissed me back but said she was quite tired and said "but you can have me if you want".
She helped me undress her and after lifting her butt to let me slide off her panties I saw her pussy all swollen, reddened and glistening between her pussy-lips. I knew at that moment I didn't care how tired she was.
She helped by holding her legs back for me and apologized (no doubt knowing it turned me on) for how tired and ‘worn out that Peter left her’. I just let my mind go to what they must have been doing earlier for her to feel this limp and tired and that was it, I tried to hold back but after just a little bit of fucking the 2 day wait had gotten to me and I came deep inside her adding to what Peter had previously left.
As we lay there afterwards I asked her to tell me about her night and she said she couldn't just tell me everything right then as it was already late and we were tired. Instead she said to me that she'd send me an Email today and tell me then.
She tried to renege on the offer to send me an Email today saying she'd feel weird writing it to me so I told her to pretend she was writing it to a girlfriend and to just say whatever she wanted. I'm hoping for something good!
******
She sent me the Email last night and I wound up masturbating to it as soon as I read it! Wow, I'm still turned on and aroused by it today. She laughed when she found out I jerked off to it already last night and said that she was glad I liked it. I told her it was great and that she should write some more. She asked me what I did and didn't like.
It was like we'd opened a new door for us and it was interesting seeing what she'd seem to focus on and what she shared with me. She was scared that some of it would hurt me or bother me. I told her it was actually easier reading it from her than imagining it in my head. She asked if any of it bothered me and I said I felt okay about most of it except for the ‘heart mind and soul’ part but I understood that she meant that for the moment and not beyond that.
I also confessed that I had thought it might have been a bit more graphic. That I thought she might be more expressive about some of the more juicy parts. She said that she is not a good writer (she complimented me again on me being the writer in the family) but said she'd try, as she said, "to make it more dirty next time".
I saved the Email as a Text file and copied it here, it was also longer than I thought it would have been.
To:
Me!
Hi baby,
I'm going to make this short and to the point. I tried to write something longer but you know me, it's like talking on the phone, I don't know when to hang up.
I met Peter in the bar at the Hilton, he splurged for a change! It was nice, we had 2 drinks and had some food. By then I was so horny, sitting there with him, knowing what we were going to be doing, I felt so turned on.
I know you don't like to hear about this part, but from the moment he locked the room door I was naked. I just did it, took off my clothes and folded them on the dresser. Peter didn't even ask me to. I just like it, it makes me feel like I am his. When he looks at me it turns me on that he is seeing all of me.
He was still dressed as we kissed and I let him feel me. I even spread my legs apart for him a little bit so he could feel how wet I was. I told him I wanted him and with that I undid his pants and knelt down.
His cock is like yours, maybe a little thicker and it felt so nice to feel it in my mouth. You know how I like connecting with him, just like you. I like to feel you and Peter get harder and harder.
All I could think about was Peter and how I wanted him. I'm sorry if it pains you to hear this but at that moment, I was Peter's, in heart, mind and soul. He pulled me up and we kissed as he then put me on the bed.
He was naked next to me a moment later. We are so good together, it just feels so natural to be in bed with him. I know his rhythm and he knows mine. A moment later he gently began to lick my pussy and drive me wild.
We were in our own world and I was wishing his tongue was a foot-long! I screamed as he made me cum like that the first time pushed his fingers into me. We kissed and he held me as I so enjoyed what he was doing to me.
I wanted him as I came down from my orgasm. I needed him. I needed something in me. I sucked him for a second and then I got on top of him. He held me to him as we kissed, it was so intense, I could feel his big cock rubbing between my lips and against my clit. I slid up and he teased me for a second before I slid back and took him in me.
That feeling the first time he (or you) enters me touches me so deeply. It is like I am totally giving myself to him. He is in me, I can feel him, his thick penis sliding gently in. I can feel my pussy contracting and then feel it getting wet as he rubs all around my hole and then pushes himself back in. Each time he pulls out and then pushes back in he goes deeper and deeper and each time I am wetter and wetter.
I am almost sorry when he is in me all the way and there is no more but he held my butt and ground himself against me and I came down from my daydream and I began to fuck him. He felt so incredible so deep in me.
Is that what you wanted to finally hear from me? Maybe that's why you wanted this note? Oh I fucked him, oh god did I fuck him. I'm almost embarrassed to think of how wet I was for him and to think of how much I wanted him. I could feel his body under mine and feel his cock in me so deep as I squeezed him. His cock was rubbing everywhere inside me just driving me crazy with desire. My god did I cum on him like that. I reached down and rubbed myself just a bit and that was what I needed. Oh was I loud;without the kids around, it was sooooo good.
He held me close again as I was coming down from that orgasm and I was still shaking as I felt him against me. He held me close and he started thrusting up into me.
I pulled my knees forward a bit and I kissed him back and told him it was his turn. I told him he needed to cum. We kissed more as he really started to get faster and faster. I didn't mind and a few minutes later he held me really tight and thrust really deep and I knew he was about to cum.
I love Peter cumming in me. I have always loved that you were okay with that too. Obviously Peter loves it too and it was obvious Thursday night as he just felt so good deep in me. It was like he was a part of me. Like my pussy was a baby milking his cock. I felt so good just feeling him like that in me that I orgasmed again as he began to stop. We both lay there for a long time afterwards. I told him I loved him and he told me the same. It felt good to feel that with him after what we'd just done.
Peter had brought a bottle of champagne and he finally pulled out of me to go open it. You know how I like to watch you in me well, it’s no different with Peter. Seeing his penis slip out of me all wet and sticky always turns me on. I know he likes to look at me (like you do) and see how I look afterwards. I used to not like it but now you know it doesn't bother me at all. I think it looks all messy but apparently you and Peter have the same reaction!
I was all tingly as we lay there naked together in the bed drinking champagne. We watched a dirty movie on the TV for a while but after maybe an hour and most of the champagne was gone, I wanted him again.
Unlike you, Peter can go again pretty soon. It’s one of the things I love about him! This time I knew from experience with him that he would want to be on top. I knew what to expect. Peter likes the same positions you do, my knees way back or them bent tight under his arms. You know how I feel in that position, totally ******* and open. My pussy, my entire body is his at that moment.
He used some lubricant and then he just pushed it into me. I wanted him to do it just like that. I wanted to feel him back in me. I wanted to feel him take me as his. I relaxed my muscles and opened myself up as much as I could and it felt so incredible to be filled like that! To feel this hard man so deep in me. The idea that he would have me again made me feel so turned on that I was almost embarrassed at how wet I felt and sounded. The squishing sounds coming out of me were almost funny at times. But feeling Peter in me, feeling so fulfilled and satisfied, it just felt so natural for him so deep in me. I wrapped my legs around him and held him tightly as I was close to cumming. Feeling his body against me; my nipples against his chest; his hair tickling my clit; I was on fire.
He was so deep in me he was pushing me into the bed. I held it there as long as I could before I pulled my knees back for him at the end.
I knew he needed it as much as I did at that moment. I needed to feel him spasm in me again. I needed to feel how hot I would be inside. I needed to feel his body shake against me and to hear him gasp and moan in my ear. I knew when I did I would cum with him.
A moment later it happened. I felt him thrust into me and I went with it and let him in me as much as I could. It felt like he was so deep in me when he finally came I was almost in tears from how I felt. He let out a moan that I know is how he sounds when he really climaxes and that just drove me crazy. I could feel the heat from his cum in me again as he held me close.
I know you and I cum at the same time a lot and it's always intense. It was the same way with Peter. It was like we were on fire. Every motion from either of us just kept the moment going.
Finally he did roll over off of me and we both lay there next to each other giggling and laughing and catching our breath. It had to be well after 8pm as Peter poured us the last of the champagne.
I know I thought about you at one point during the night. I think I laughed when I thought that you really got your wish. That your little wifey just had spectacular sex with her lover and was lying there still naked with him. I hope you are enjoying the fruits of your efforts, I know I am.
The dirty movie was still on the TV (or maybe it was a different one) and we joked about the positions that the actors were in. Peter curled up behind me and he poked his penis back into me from behind. I was still very messy and very wet. I pushed back against him and once we got comfortable we lay like that for a while. It felt so nice to know we had time to enjoy more. I felt him caress me a lot like you do but his hands and his body feel different than yours.
I knew what he was doing. I wanted it too. He knew if I would give him long enough that he might cum a 3rd time. He didn't even need to ask me, I knew what he wanted and when he felt me push back against him he knew it too.
After a few minutes we moved up to me on my hands and knees. I pushed back for him and my god, I felt like a bitch being mounted. I pushed back for him and it was so incredible to feel so full and so incredibly good. I wished he were twice the size to just keep making me cum more and more. I leaned forward and let him have me as much as he wanted. I had already cum so many times that I just wanted him to have some more and I knew he'd need some time to get there. I let myself get lost in the moment and just focused on feeling him in me - that was all I could think about, all I could focus on, feeling him so deep in me and his hands holding my hips.
I don't remember anything else really until feeling Peter cum again. He held me so tightly and he seemed so urgent, even desperate to cum one last time. It was a pretty wild moment when he finally did. Just feeling and hearing him easily brought me to orgasm again.
I know we both lay there for a while after that. We talked about this and that until we both saw that it was after 10pm already. Peter too said he needed to get cleaned up before he went home.
I didn't shower with him (at least not this time), instead I just cleaned up with a washcloth while Peter did the whole 9 yards. I thought about you for a moment - wondering what you would think of your wife and her lover washing up in the bathroom together. I knew I was pretty tired already and I knew I had to drive home to you. I stayed naked for Peter for a little longer. I love how he looks me over all the time. But all good things have to come to an end. I reminded him that I was due for my monthly next week and that was when he asked me again about staying overnight with him. I told him that I still wasn't sure yet and that I still needed to talk to you about it.
And then I came home. Thoughts of Peter were soon replaced by thoughts of you!! I'm glad I was able to be there for you when I got home.
Well, that's it. Did I say too much? I don't know, I looked it over like 3 times and changed things each time. It's not at all what I thought it would have been. I guess I won't be writing any stories for Penthouse Letters.
Luv,
Suzy
I know Suzanna read and re-read and revised what she sent to me several times over. I had asked her and she apologized to me for taking so long and then assured me that what she started out with was more like a book than a short-email.
I can ask her to share more of her feelings. I see that she, like me, finds it easier to put things in Email than it is for her (or I) to come out and say it out loud.
I believe I know and understand how she felt and what she thought about - but then again, I do only know what she's told me verbally. I'll ask her how she'd feel about trying to share all her thoughts.
She did mention the overnight thing in her Email to me. To be honest we have not talked about it again just yet but I did say that it was something we need to talk about soon.
I have to say that reading her note to me was, in many ways, easier than hearing her tell it to me in person. Either she intentionally didn't mention a lot of the stuff that gave me so much concern or discomfort or I am making more out of it than she is giving to it. As we talk more this week I may reach some decisions.
I don't know if I’m making too much out of this. I mean what more can they possibly do together? On the other hand, the idea of my wife sleeping with him for the entire night and all that entails is still a bit too much for me right now.
******
Where she says that she is ‘his’ does touch me. It is such a strange feeling. All at once I am both turned on as well as hurt. I'm at a loss to find the right word as hurt isn't it but I do feel it in the pit of my stomach when I let myself think about her with him. Despite that feeling though the other part of me is incredibly aroused that she can be as physical and sexual with him as she is.
The other line that affected me was when she describes herself as a bitch being mounted. All I can think about is her jutting her ass and pussy back towards him as he just used her. Even now it makes me both want to puke as well as masturbate to think about it.
The thing is, aside of those individual moments and her ability to convey how she felt at them, I still love the idea of her fucking another guy. That they are as comfortable together as she says is a bit unnerving (that's closer to how it feels than hurt) but despite that, I still love her being so sexual.
I've known for several months that she likes to be naked with him. I saw it first-hand for the short time I was able to stay with them before Christmas when I tried to stay and watch. I was okay with her being naked with him back then right up until I saw him put his hands all over her and how she gave into him so willingly and openly.
******
Tuesdays are somewhat intense nights for us (well, me at least) in that mentally the sex is a bit more consuming. Despite this having been a routine situation, I still find myself incredibly aroused at knowing she is unavailable the next day and that she will next be with Peter again before me.
She has promised me that tonight we will have time to talk. I asked what her thoughts were on the future with and without Peter and she said she has some ideas and teased me that I will just have to wait till tonight to find out more.
I have not come to a conclusion about her overnight request. In the course of some of what we talked about over the past few days (after her PMS-ness eased) I shared with her my concerns. And at her prodding/asking, I did tell her that iit does turn me on to think of her with him all night but that I am reluctant to let Peter have that experience with her and vice-versa.
In continuing to try to be as open with her as I can be I told her that in some ways I would find the overnight easier, at least in my mind, if I was finally able to actually watch her with Peter. That after seeing them together I thought it would either be easier to say okay or that I would feel that no is the answer. I can't really articulate all of how I feel except that I guess deep down inside a part of me is still unsure about it all. Seeing her with him sexually will either make it easier for me to be okay about an overnight, or, if I find it to be too much if/when I do watch, that maybe I just couldn't take them having a whole night of that.
I know that I sound stupid but better that I share my honesty with her rather than encourage her to do something that I am unsure of. I honestly didn't think I would feel this way knowing what I do about how they are and what they do together.
She already told me that she will most likely be very late tomorrow night, as if I couldn't guess that..!
******
Her period ended a few days ago. She said this one was better than last month so I think she's VERY sold on the IUD.
We had some honest open discussion over the past few days that both made me feel more comfortable as well as less comfortable at the same time.
She asked me exactly what I was thinking about everything that was going on. I told her that I was sorry that her regular Thursday meeting with Peter was going to be coming to an end. She replied that she still hoped, especially with the warmer weather approaching, that Peter would still find time to spend with her.
I asked her if the end of their Thursday's was at all behind her overnight request. She nodded and then she said that she hoped that perhaps, if I was okay with it, that there could be others. She said something about if she can't have every Thursday, that when they could get together, that she wanted it to be for a longer period of time.
That led me to open up and tell her about my concerns about them spending a whole night together. She asked me pointedly, "what more do you think we're going to do that we haven't done already?”
I honestly had no answer for that except to say that for over 25 years now, that I was the only man she'd spent an ‘entire night’ with and that I wasn't necessarily comfortable with her sharing that with Peter. She just laughed at that and said that they've already ‘fallen asleep’ together on some Thursdays and then, just to dig it in, she added, "and when we have, he's been in me the whole time!”
In the back of my mind I knew this already for she'd mentioned it several times. She did hold me close and very affectionately kissed me and said, "baby, you don't have to worry". Seeing those big brown eyes staring at me just totally disarmed me.
At another point she asked me to tell her everything that I was thinking, that she wanted to hear it from me, what I thought about on Tuesdays, Wednesdays and Thursdays. So, what the heck, I thought I might as well just tell her everything. I told her Tuesday nights I seem to feel an urgency to have sex with her even if we're tired or busy. Somehow in my mind I need that to allow me to be okay with Wednesday and Thursdays. I then told her that I have actually come to like Wednesdays and that knowing she is ‘saving herself’ for him on Thursday was very much a turn-on.
She asked me why I don't masturbate more on Wednesdays and I told her that I actually enjoyed the arousal building until Thursday night. She giggled at that and said something like, "yeah, you sure do want me on Thursdays".
We talked about my earlier intimacy issues. I told her that I still felt unnerved at just how intimate and open she is with Peter, not just the whole being naked thing, but just how free Peter seems to be with her body. She said she still didn't totally understand how I could be okay with Peter cumming in her but not with him touching her or whatever else. I really couldn't answer why.
Suzanna even suggested that maybe I come up and join them tonight and watch but there was just no way to coordinate it with the kids. Fortunately, hopefully, our son will get his driver’s license soon (next month) and that may resolve the kid-issue. I told her that I did want to watch them and repeated again that maybe not being there for their foreplay might be easier. She just answered, "as long as you think you'll be okay when we're fucking....” She then just asked me, "do you want to watch him cum in me?"
I nodded my head yes but it took me a moment to weakly say, "yes". She smiled at that and said she thought she would like it if I could be there to share that moment with her. She said that maybe seeing that it's not so terrible would help me get over the last of my issues. I told her that I had the same thoughts but still wasn't sure I could do it. I told her that knowing she's fucking him and seeing her fucking him are 2 different things; even knowing it's his cum in her is still different than watching it happen. She had this concerned look on her face until I said again that I did want to watch her and that, in many ways, seeing him in her at that moment was in fact the pinnacle of my fantasy from so long ago that started all of this. I didn't tell her this exactly but I did tell her that I do love the visions I have of her with her legs wrapped around him.
There was still more we talked about. I asked her if she had any interest in anyone other than Peter. She smiled and asked me whether I did or did not want her to. I told her that I thought since she started with Peter, that our relationship had been strengthened and that I felt much more comfortable talking to her and that I found her even sexier than ever before. I added that I didn't want that to change if she was no longer seeing Peter.
I asked her if she was going to miss fucking Peter on Thursdays. She smiled and just said, "yes" that she was going to miss it but then she added that right now, she was just focused on enjoying the last time with Peter (yeah right!) and that she wanted to see how she herself felt after things slowed down. (She also told me that Peter has said many times that his wife was getting back to normal and wanting him more too).
As the last thing I'll share for now is that she already told me (and the kids) that she would be very late tonight. She also told me that she wanted us to talk seriously about her overnight when she gets home tonight and tomorrow. I pushed her as to when she wanted to spend the night and she said, "maybe next weekend, April 4th" and she then offered that I could come and be with them that same night if I wanted to.
So, I think I'll be ****** later tonight or tomorrow to say yes or no finally and not be able to waffle on it. Wish me luck.
*******
I guess what I am concerned about is if I say, "ok" to the overnighter that it may then become the norm either in terms of more with Peter or, if another guy comes along in the future, that it becomes something she expects. She says this is not the case.
She didn't get home until well after 11pm last night and tired as she may have been, she was there for me. I won't go into more now but she was just so beautiful and quite tender last night. I felt I had to be gentle with her. Needless to say, I didn't last very long!
This morning I asked her to send me another Email as in some ways she seems to be able to express herself a bit more openly that way. She said she would think about it and she reminded me that she wanted to also try to write me a sexier one too.
*******
It’s Saturday and Suzanna's out shopping so I'm here reading over the last few entries in the journal.
She told me she was still a little ‘tender’ last night but nevertheless, she seemed very horny as was I. Before we got into it she did say she was going to send me a sexy Email and she emphasized that she was going to be more explicit for me and she added that she hoped I would be okay about reading it. I told her that I really wanted to read about all that she felt and experienced and that she shouldn't feel she needed to shield me from anything.
We talked about other things too including the overnight. I did ask her whether this was something she wanted or whether it was something that Peter wanted. She paused for a moment to think about her answer and then said that while it was Peter who suggested it that in the past few weeks, especially with knowing that this past Thursday was the last of their ‘regular’ meetings that she found herself wanting it too.
She told me several times that it doesn't mean anything to her other than having more time to be with Peter and that she also wanted to be able to be with him and not have to know in the back of her mind that she needed to be mindful of the clock and to come home at a reasonable hour. She said that this past Thursday night she honestly wished she could have spent the whole night with him as by the end she was quite tired (and worn out!) and would have liked to just cuddle up with him and fall asleep.
I told her that I was okay with the sex part but that what she said about cuddling up and sleeping in his arms was what was getting to me. She knows that I'm concerned that this will mark a new page in what we're doing together and that I was concerned about what it would mean for us moving forward.
She said that while she could say she loves Peter, she was quick to say that she never wanted to hurt me and that if I truly felt that I couldn't accept her sleeping with him like that, that she would accept that and she wouldn't argue it but she then added that she hoped I wouldn't be upset if she tried to convince me that it would be okay for us.
We talked pretty frankly at some points. She asked me if I was still turned on by her having sex with Peter. My hard cock gave my answer away. I told her that thinking about her and him always turns me on and I added that knowing he cums in her 2 to 3 times is also very much of a turn on. She asked me if I was coming to accept things more in terms of how they were with each other. She added, "you know the whole intimacy thing you have".
I told her that in my mind and when I have her home afterwards, thinking and knowing how they are together was very arousing and that I was more able to accept that she truly is HIS when they are together.
After we fucked last night she told me as we lay there in bed that she never wanted to not have ‘this’ of how we were together and that no matter what happened, that ‘this’ would never change. She swore up and down that just spending the night with him wouldn't make a difference to us.
I’m still sitting on this fence and I think the only thing that keeps me from believing that bad things are going to happen is how and what Suzanna keeps on telling me, that she just wants it for herself and not that she's in love with Peter to the point that they can't be without each other or stuff like that. The other thing that I’m starting to admit to myself is that in some ways, well, I want to say yes to them doing more. I truly do feel that I like being a cuckold, that there is a certain satisfaction that I feel very deeply about Suzanna being sexually active with another guy. It's what makes me even look forward to Wednesday, knowing she's telling me she wants him.
I know that there's no turning back once I would say okay to them. There's this huge part of me that wants to let her do it, just to have the experience. I know that I'll feel lost sleeping alone knowing where she is but when I let myself think about it, I am coming to realize and accept that I want to feel that, at least once. Just as I want to be there and watch them, also at least once.
I know that both of these things will probably hurt like hell when they happen. I've re-lived what I saw last December when I tried to be there and watch them the first time but now, 3 months later, I recall the feeling of wanting to throw-up and of being so anxious at what was going on but, at the same time, I now feel as though I wished I'd had the strength to stay and watch.
I think back to the moments before I left, of Suzanna giving herself to him and seeing him so comfortable with her body, and all I can think of is how friggin' turned on I am whenever I think about it and I kick myself for leaving. If I let my mind go to that moment I think I'll be okay seeing it happen. I mean I do want to share that moment with her to the degree that I can and in my mind I can even see walking over to her afterwards as she lies there in a post-orgasmic bliss and I can see myself giving her a kiss goodnight and just telling her that I’ll see her in the morning. I've even masturbated to these thoughts many times. I’m thinking that if I really want this, that I must truly be a cuckold at heart and in some ways maybe it's just fate and nature and almost normal for me to say yes to her.
I doubt any of this makes sense but at least it felt good writing it.
******
I've been trying to put myself mentally where I’ll be if I say yes. In the abstract, I do love the idea of the 2 of them fucking for most of the night. I guess in that sense Suzanna is right, that there isn't anything more they can or will do with each other. I guess it's really just the knowledge of spending the whole night together, that and being together in the morning, that's the only real difference. I do sort of wonder how she'd be in the morning, waking up with him after a long night of sex. I know they've showered together but I do wonder how she'll be when it is after sleeping all night next to him. I also know that the entire time I'll be home with all of these thoughts running through my head as they are now.
The crazy thing is that I am very turned on by all of this. Wicked nervous and not totally sold on it yet but the idea of her sharing all of herself with him even more than she has now is terribly arousing! In some way I do want her to feel everything she can and everything she wants to. For her to want this, she truly must want to give Peter all of her. That's a turn-on for me to know, that she truly wants it at this point.
I am a cuckold and after giving it a lot of thought, I am going to tell her yes, they can – should – spend the night together. They were thinking of next Friday night but I pointed out that it's Good Friday, although none of us seem to be overly religious. I asked her what Peter was going to use as his excuse and he said that he'd already arranged an alibi and I reminded her that she didn't want to be the cause of any problems.
We've talked about a lot of stuff in the last few days including her asking me if I was going to miss her being with Peter. I was kind of taken by that question - it was weird, I answered yes and it felt good to say it. Like a weight had been lifted off of me. She smiled at me and said she thought I would say that.
I asked her what she wanted out of her night with Peter and I guess she got the vibe from me that I was being open and she was too. She started with the same reasons she'd told me earlier, not liking to have to rush home or whatever. I actually asked her if that was all it was or was she looking forward to being with "him" for longer.
When she didn't answer me right away I already knew the answer. She swore to me up and down that it's not love and that she doesn't feel that for him - but then as she looked away from me a little she also said that she loves sex with him. She quickly added, "not more than with you or not better than with you", "just different" and after a pause "more physical might be a way to describe it". And she looked back at me and I just said "its okay" and I then just said "I understand".
And I do. I also know that I feel like a million bucks right now. Something about setting her free to do it - it just feels right. She saw me smiling a little and she said "you're really okay with it?" and I just said that she needs to make sure that this is all it is and again she swore up and down that she just wants more of him.
I didn't ask about watching her but it did come up. She asked if I still wanted to and I nodded and said yes. Again a pause which I picked up on right away and asked "what - what's wrong" and she just said that I need to be sure its something I really want. I didn't understand why she said that until she said that "Peter is very physical with me" and all I said back was "oh" and then I just said "maybe I should wait then?". I didn't push it and sort of left it there.
The fact that this was a Wednesday night did come up. Once she heard the stuff I opened up to her with she said that we should keep up our Wednesday pattern and not have sex tonight. It was weird because I actually didn't expect to (I did not tell her though). I asked her if she'd tell me all about her night when she comes home and she said she would love to.
So, that's it - it's almost all out in the open now. I told her, Yes, when she asked if I "take care of myself" (her term for masturbating) on Wednesdays (of course she already knew that). When I admitted to being turned on thinking about her with him all night she asked me about it and I just told her that the idea of her being in bed with him, having sex whenever they wanted, her sleeping with next to her or closer, (as someone here suggested) her maybe having a "morning" with him before coming home - I told her it all turned me on. But then I added that it only turned me on if, in fact, she was coming home to me.
She knew what I meant by that and she just turned to me and said that I will always be where she calls home. I swear I almost felt a tear in my eyes! Sometimes you just feel something from your partner and this just feels good - really good.
******
I do still have some misgivings but it feels so good to be able to tell Suzanna exactly how I feel and to finally be honest with myself too.
I genuinely do want her to have the experience she wants. When I think about her waking up in his arms and them enjoying a leisurely morning fuck and the maybe showering and dressing together - it just turns me on incredibly to think about her sharing those moments with Peter. Yes, it's going to hurt - I already know how I'll feel next Friday night lying in bed alone - but I also know that I will have such fantasies that there are going to be a lot of sticky wads of tissues by the time morning comes around.
I fear that Suzanna sharing those intimate moments with him will take away from what we have together. That could be but I wouldn't be honest with myself if I didn't say I want to experience this.
I guess that's the difference I feel. Inside I want to truly experience being a cuckold - and that surely (for me) includes denial and, at times, her even preferring or wanting him more than me at times.
I may regret it later but right now, it feels wonderful to anticipate this and want it to happen.
And yes, I do see that Suzanna is getting much better at manipulating me and alleviating my concerns while still keeping me very aroused at what is going on.
*******
It is a rainy Friday evening and Suzanna is waiting for me in the bedroom.
Last night was sort of poignant in that we both admitted to each other that we missed her being with Peter. We got one of her 'toys" out and I had some fun giving her pussy a bit of a workout before I took my turn - or so we 'pretended'.
She hasn’t really talked much about her plans for next week but I am sure we will over the weekend. Tonight we are both on the tired side so I suspect it will be an early night.
******
The weekend was busier than I'd anticipated. We did do a lot of talking - Suzanna seemed somewhat reserved on Saturday until I told her that I was really okay with my decision and what she wanted. I told her that I believed what she'd said about us and that with that in mind, I wanted her to have the experience she wants (well, not in those words exactly but that was what I conveyed).
I think not being with him this past Thursday may now be getting to her as I don't think she realized herself how much her time with Peter had become part of our sexual relationship. She asked me if I was excited at all about what she was going to be doing and my hard-on gave her my answer. I told her that knowing she really wanted him was all I needed to feel okay about it (well, that plus what she'd said about us) and that if she really felt the need to give herself to him all night long - then that was okay by me. At one point I told her that just thinking of them together all night - sleeping, fucking, waking, showering, eating - that knowing she'd be his all night was a thrill for me.
Hearing that seemed to allow her to relax and express herself a bit. She told me that she feels like she's going to her high-school senior prom all over again. How she's going to be going out for a night of fun and romance and how she'll then spend the night with him.
I told her that of course I still had misgiving and such, but that it was much like Wednesday nights for me - in that it was such a turn-on that I actually find myself WANTING her to do it now. Somehow knowing when she leaves Friday morning that she won't be back till Saturday is just incredibly arousing for me.
*****
I didn't know what to expect last night and I was pleasantly surprised when Suzanna genuinely wanted to "make love" and not just fuck.
We didn't talk about Peter but I know I felt aroused thinking about the next few days and I didn't ask Suzanna but I suspect that her thoughts may have also fuelled her passion last night.
We felt so close to each other at points that it totally wiped any worries I have of her with Peter out of my mind. There is just a connection you feel with your wife at certain things that leaves no doubt. I definitely felt it and so did Suzanna judging from how she too responded.
Afterwards she did ask me if I minded not having sex with her tonight and tomorrow. I gave her a pained look and she said, "how about if I just take care of you?" - Which usually means she will give me a blow-job - my smile at that answered her question.
******
That’s it. I'm sitting here totally wired and awake and all I can think about is her in there sleeping away as if tomorrow is nothing. Maybe it is - I hope it is, but right now, it's all I can think of.
She did give me one heck of a blow-job last night. It's rare that she wants to do it - she'd usually just rather fuck, so that was a nice change.
Tonight, nothing. I knew from what pyjamas she had on that she was keeping to her decision. I guess as I thought about it, it sank in more that she did that last night for Peter too. It sounds crazy but I swear it just turned me on even more to think about it. She really wants this tomorrow and though I'm really torn up if I think about it too much, on the other hand, damn if I'm not totally horny just the same.
It’s a pretty fucked up feeling I’ve got as I sit here thinking about tomorrow night at this same time, being alone here and knowing what she's doing.
We did talk a little about tomorrow and she said that she was sure I would be okay afterwards and she asked me what I was thinking. I told her honestly that on one hand I am concerned and not all that comfortable, that on the other hand I am wicked turned on and that she needs to tell me about it when she gets back. And that was when she told me that she'd been writing "for days" as she put it and that she was going to leave me this long note that is more like a book. I sort of joked back that I'd have a lot of time to read it and she gave me that same giggle.
She turned the TV off after Leno's monologue and told me to either go to sleep or go in the other room. So here I am.
******
I feel like I’m in a dream. It still doesn't seem real that I just kissed her goodbye and actually told her to have fun.
I saw that she had packed a small bag to take with her and that didn't get to me that much. What really did was that there was only 1 toothbrush in the bathroom. I swear at that moment I felt everything all over again in an instant.
I took a moment to get hold of things and in a bit it felt better. I looked at our bed and thought about her in a hotel with Peter instead of here. But it felt okay I just let myself relax and thought about the good parts and not the bad and the feeling passed. I figure that' why I was sort of okay when she left.
Suzanna said that she told the kids she would call her from "the party" she was going to but she sort of asked me if we could maybe not talk as she didn't want to feel weird. I asked her if she could text me at least to tell me she was ok. She said "maybe" but "maybe not".
She told me to look on the computer when I get home today and again she apologized for writing a book!!
I can't believe how aroused and on edge I am knowing she's really doing this.
******
I made it through the day. Good thing it got busy here today as it took my time off all of this.
But it's now 4:30pm and I pretty much know if she isn't on her way that she will be shortly.
I will try not to masturbate tonight but if how I feel right now is any indication - I'm not sure I'll be able to hold off. My cock hasn't calmed down all afternoon.
So, I’m heading home soon to an empty house. But all I need to do is think about Suzanna getting fucked all night and I am instantly on the edge of cumming if I were to even touch myself.
******
Well - the kids are in bed at least my daughter is; my son has some sort of loud disturbing noise he calls music coming from his room in the basement. I was surprised when they told me that mom had called them on their cellphones - I didn't know she'd called.
I read Suzanna’s note and I feel so empty inside when I read what she said about how much of herself she's given and shared with Peter.
And yet if I were to drop my pants and stroke myself just a second or two I would explode like a water balloon.
I feel very anxious right now. I know what she is doing - maybe not this very second but I know how Peter is fucking her right now - it's right here in her note to me!
I have to step away from this for a while or I'm going to go crazy. Between the phone call thing and what she wrote, I don't know if I have started something more than I wanted.
Still - I am wicked horny. Very wicked horny. If I breathe deep and focus on the sex and not the things she wrote - it is good.
I need to step away right now though. I think a beer on the front porch listening to the drizzling rain might be a good place to be. Almost like it's just too much to be thinking about and I need a break. I didn't think it would be this much angst.
******
It's almost midnight now. I'm sitting here staring at this screen thinking of her. Now that it's done with I feel good about it. I wonder if they're sleeping. I am struggling to resist thinking about it too much as my cock feels like it's on a hair trigger.
I read her Email over a few times. It's actually not an Email, she just wrote it in notepad. She wasn't kidding that it’s really long, but it tells me a lot. I have to think about posting it here, it's very revealing - I almost feel like I am reading her diary.
Two things I feel from reading it before I sign off and try again to find something else to do until I can maybe fall asleep.
1) It is clear how she is with Peter and that what I saw when I tried to stay with them was very little of just how she is with him. I had thought that perhaps she'd not quite shared every bit of herself with him but it is clear that she has and does, and,
2) That as intense as it may be, I don't read into it any more than something physical which is why I think I am feeling okay right now.
I will say that seeing the empty bed next to me as I tried to watch something, anything on TV was a bit difficult. Her note basically said what she would want if it all went as she would like it to. At some of the stuff it felt like someone had stomped on my nuts and yet at other stuff my cock was wicked hard. I just cannot believe what she shared in this note she left me, some of it is incredibly personal that even I am surprised at it.
I am going to go toss around in bed and maybe have a beer to fall asleep to. I am NOT going to masturbate, I decided that earlier. I do want to be eager and ready for her whenever she gets home.
I guess that I am finding some level of enjoyment and arousal confirms that I am a cuckold.
******
Of course there's no chance for me to sleep late!!! I can't believe I’m up at 6am!!!
She’s really not here. I even had the thought that maybe she'd surprise me and be here.
One thing - I have this tent going with the blanket. I can't believe I managed to not cum yet - I thought for sure there might be a wet-dream in it for me with how horny I was trying to fall asleep last night.
I may read her note again. If I’m going to be awake I might as well feel the part.
******
It's 10am and still no sign of her. I can't bring myself to even eat breakfast I just have this empty pit in my stomach.
And yet I'm not upset or angry - I just miss her.
She told me in her note that she expected to be fucking him this morning after a room-service breakfast. I am sure she got her wish.
I can sort of picture them in the fluffy hotel robes having breakfast and then them having each other again. Suzanna described what she wanted to experience and I guess she is getting it. Thinking about them waking up and washing the remnants of last night off themselves - together in the shower gets me all worked up.
She said so much of what she wanted to feel and experience that if I just think about what she's probably done with him that I am ready to uncork!
I don't care about any of that though. At this moment I just want her to come home.
Checkout time has to be 11 o’clock so she will have to be here by noon. I can't wait to hold her in my arms.
I re-read her note yet again and while I can't post it all here as some of it is almost too revealing to the point that if you knew her you might put one and one together, I may share parts of it. There is one part that if I think about it too long I swear I would cum just like that. She describes how she wanted Peter to have her "doggy-style" - at one point she says she wants to be his "bitch" and for him to mount her like an animal and just "take her". It’s the way she wrote it that let me understand what she wants to feel.
I have to step away again for a while. I just need a break, and to also keep my cock from exploding the more I think about it.
*******
She got home just before 1pm today. I don't know if the kids noticed it but I did, maybe it's in my head but she just looked so incredible to me. Something about her eyes, this deep relaxed look, but the hug I gave her was equally returned and the quiet, "I love you" we exchanged seemed to just push all my worries and concerns aside. Something in how she felt against me as we hugged was just so wonderful. She smelled clean and tasted like tooth-paste and all I could think about was her and Peter waking up this morning and getting cleaned up together!
To think that not more than 24 hours ago she spent the night in his arms is just such a turn on right now. When the kids were out of sight she did hold me and ask me if I was okay with everything and I just said that as long as she was in my arms now and would share her experience with me later, that I was going to be okay with it.
She hasn't let me touch her at all below the waist yet and barely let me caress her tits. She keeps saying, "wait till later and I'll tell you everything you want to know, but I want you to wait!". She also asked me if I was a, "good boy last night" which is her way of asking if I masturbated. She smiled when I said no.
Some of what she wrote in her note to me was very intense. I am almost scared to have her later tonight again knowing how she felt. She told me of how she feels when she is intimate with him and how she felt at the moment before I walked out on them last year. Knowing what she wrote is so incredibly sexy to me. It’s made me feel so horny I hope that she can do it again.. or maybe that's my cock talking!...
Just the idea that she may be still wet and hot from him later on tonight is making me so eager.
I know from what she wrote to me what she shared with him last night. There may be little that she has kept from him for just us but that's okay, somehow it feels very erotic and almost comforting to know what she's done.
*******
I read somewhere else that described the moments with your wife when she comes home from a lover as being like a ‘first date’. I can tell you that is exactly what it was like yesterday.
My god I was so turned on I was almost scared to have her again. Scared in the sense that I didn't want the incredible horniness that I felt to end but also scared to find out what was beneath her clothes. Just like a first date of what would she look like, how would she feel. I was almost hesitant and so cautious to undress her not knowing how she would be.
Suzanna said later on that she'd felt the same way as she used to on first dates, how would she feel letting him see her that first time, how would the sex be for them.
Every part of her was more beautiful than I'd remembered from just a day or two earlier. I was so much more aware of her. She was very hesitant too until I somehow told her that it was alright and that I was totally turned on about what she'd done.
The idea that she'd spent the night with Peter was no longer bothering me in any way. Instead the knowledge that he HAD her and used her for almost 24 hours was such a turn-on for me.
Undressing her and my hands were shaking.
She shared so much in her note of just how intimate and how much of herself she gives to him that I had no doubt that she would feel so tender in my arms and when I was in her. I knew from how she looked and how she felt that she had let herself go totally with Peter. Instead of bothering me all it did was drive me crazy with desire! I was actually worried I'd wind up almost ****** her. Instead, all I could do was just stare at her as she lay there naked for me. Finally, looking at her like that, seeing her still a little red and swollen between her legs, I actually felt sort of proud of her (and me).
I know she felt exactly the same but in my mind just knowing that Peter had made her his last night; just thinking of them orgasming together in bed knowing he was cumming in her just as he wished he could do with his own wife, pride was what I was feeling.
She felt so incredible. She encouraged me to enjoy myself as she said she, "would surely be right there with me".
Maybe the word ‘tired’ could describe how she felt but, to me, knowing how she got that way drove me crazy and she just encouraged me along telling me how she'd cum so much with Peter that she still felt so good.
I have never cum like that in years and years. Holding myself above her on extended arms and looking at her just as Peter had so many times that was it for me. I just let myself go to thinking his cock being where mine was and that was it, I let loose.
Afterwards, she stayed true to her note to me and stayed in bed with me until we'd almost fallen asleep. Even though I was spent already, knowing she'd probably slept just like that, still wet and sticky and close to him the night before, I just hugged her and held her close. The soft murmurs of, "I love you" left me no doubt how I felt about her and she about me. I did consider she may have said that same thing to Peter the night before but it felt okay if she did, I can accept that if it leads to nights like we had last night.
Seeing her naked in the bathroom cleaning herself up this morning got me hard thinking of her having done that same thing with Peter the day before! This is wonderful.
******
I feel very good about us after the weekend. Suzanna was a bit hesitant about last night but after getting together with family on and off during the afternoon, I too admitted I was pretty tired last night so all we did was hang out and talk.
Suzanna was very concerned about me and whether I was really okay. I told her that in retrospect, I seemed to have made a big deal out of something that no longer seemed that big. I told her that our ‘reunion’ on Saturday night did a LOT to ease my concerns. She smiled and said much the same thing.
She started to tell me about some of what they'd done and I told her that I had my own visions of them from her note she left for me.
I asked if she'd done everything she'd put in her note and she smiled and said very quietly that yes, they had and then she added, "maybe more...".
*******
Time for a new book.
*******
I know it sounds crazy but it is really incredible to watch and see her desires change and grow. I mean not even a year ago she had none of these interests and although it sounds weird to say it is actually fun experiencing this. It's like another dimension to our lives and in our marriage has been opened up. I am really turned on by seeing desire in her for herself now.
As strange as it sounds I really don't have a concern about our relationship together. Indeed, I do believe we may even be stronger together in that we are able to open up and admit more of ourselves to each other. Whereas she used to think I was crazy to want her to be with other guys I think she now genuinely understands that it does turn me on as perverse as that may sound. The longer we are going on this road, the more I feel that she is sensing my arousal and in some ways basing her behaviour on how I would feel. The change I see is that she seems to be more understanding of what does turn me on. I guess it's obvious to her from how I respond when she teases me or tells me things and my response is a huge hard-on and intense desire for her.
She's out food shopping right now but I've already thought about what I want to tell her later. I just want to tell her that she can do whatever she wants and that the only thing I really would want is that she continues to share and be open with me about whatever she does.
If she really wanted that it was Peter during the week and me only on weekends, I would probably go along with it just as long as it was more of an informal type of thing. I think that's where I would sort of draw the line, if it went beyond something that we were sharing together. With all of this talk now, I'm surely horned up for later tonight.
******
Last night she turned the teasing back on for sure. She started as I was undressing her, when I took her top off and then slid her jeans down leaving her just in panties and her bra, and her teasing started, "Peter likes this set. He likes the bra not being so padded so he can see my nipples get hard and he likes how tight the panties are. What do you think?" With that she did a little spin in front of me.
Then she added how it didn't really matter because she prefers being naked when she's with him. A few minutes later after we were both undressed we shared a glass of wine and she asked why I was staring at her. I just told her that it still turned me on incredibly to think of her sitting around with Peter just like she is with me.
She was lying next to me and said that she's going to miss her Thursdays with him as she was now very used to them. Then she sat up and added, just to tease me, "I normally would be lying like this with Peter" and with that she raised one leg and bent it at her knee. She saw my own cock start to throb as I looked her over and had an unobstructed view of her pussy in all its glory. "Peter likes to look at me like that too," she added.
I told her that I loved the changes in her that I've seen over the past few months and that I felt much more at ease about her and Peter. She smiled and took my face in her hands and kissed me and said she too felt a lot more confident about everything, herself, us, her work and, of course, Peter. That was when I told her that I knew things were going to change again for us and that whatever she wanted to do was fine as long as we were still us and we still shared everything. She smiled and held me close again and said she was very lucky and again kissed me.
This time though I kept going and began to kiss down her neck and her upper chest. I could tell by how her breathing had changed that she was getting turned on. By the time I took her breasts in my hands her nipples were rock hard.
I got to her pussy and she was soaked and it didn't take long before she started to pull at my body and on my cock to get up on top of her. I knelt between her spread legs and slapped and rubbed my cock against her open pussy lips and she started to moan.
She asked in between breaths if I liked what I saw and then turned it on and said that this is how she likes to be with Peter and with that she pulled her knees way back. I pushed my cock into her now gaping open pussy and she just said quietly as she pushed her hands against my chest, "go slow for a bit" adding after a pause, "I love it when Peter does that".
I felt like she was narrating one of their fucks and she could certainly tell it was having an effect on me as I could barely hold back from just slamming into her. With her hands still on my chest she pulled her knees closer together and held me back for a moment. I pulled them under my arms and held her tightly as I pushed into her. She knew I loved this position and after a minute or so she started again, "Mmm, Peter loves this position too" and then added, "I love feeling him enter me sooo slowly like you are!”
My cock was in overdrive by then and I just remember marvelling at how her pussy felt being so deep in her and how wet and open she felt in that position. I know I told her at one point how it turned me on that Peter's cock gets to go in her like mine was at the time and she moaned along with me at that thought.
She'd cum several times and I was getting close when she slid herself out from under me and sat up to have a drink of water. She looked just so radiant at that moment, well fucked;nipples hard; breasts swollen;, a sheen of sweat on her forehead with her hair all messed up. Her pussy looked delectable, swollen, open, wet and just so inviting. She sat there and casually caught her breath while I lay there with my cock still hard and throbbing. All I could think about looking at her was that this must be how she looks with Peter between their fucks. The only thing I thought would be even more erotic would be if she would have his sperm between her legs dribbling out of her!
At that moment I realized I wanted to see if I could watch them again or, at least, try to. Seeing her sitting like that last night, for whatever reason, something just said to me that I think I'm maybe ready to watch them now and the idea that her arousal I was seeing at that moment could be from her and Peter being together just drove me crazy.
I didn't tell her that but as we started in again and I got back on top of her I did tell her that it still turned me on incredibly that she was fucking Peter like she is. This time she let me have my fun and she very willingly pulled her legs back and let me hold them with my arms. She felt so damn juicy! That's all I can say to describe it, juicy!
And did I ever start to fuck her, oh man, it was like I'd been waiting for days and days. She teased me a bit more telling me that Peter likes to fuck her in this position too; she told me that he likes feeling her wet and open like I do. She then told me that she was glad I liked for Peter to cum in her as it made her feel wonderful when he does.
I think she was sort of off in her own little world as she just talked as she wasn't really looking at me. She said stuff like loving how Peter felt and liking him cumming in her and, it was clear she was saying that for me, I then had one of the best orgasms I've had in a long time. The effect of the day off and the long build-up to fucking her was incredible. I swear at the end it felt like my cock grew and swelled up even more as I finally let loose. She giggled as we both came down from our mutual orgasms and said how messy she was and felt. As we slid apart and I saw what she meant, she'd cum a lot and so had I and at that moment I felt this tremendous feeling of emotion as I thought of her and Peter showering together after they'd made a similar mess.
She slid off the bed and got a warm washcloth. She let me watch as she put one leg up on the bed and wiped herself all over and then she handed it over to let me do the same. After that we got back into bed and spooned up as we watched TV.
I asked her this morning whether she thought she'd be seeing Peter today. She said she wasn't sure and would let me know more later today about what she's thinking as she doesn't have it fully sorted out yet.
******
She did NOT do anything yesterday with Peter but we also didn't have sex last night either nor teasing or anything. It wasn't like she said no but more that it had been a long day for both of us and we were both pretty tired.
Maybe I'm seeing things but this morning she did seem to spend a bit more time getting ready than usual. She left a while ago and I'm finishing up paperwork that's impossible to do without interruptions at the office. Sounds crazy but I'm sort of hoping she'll let herself go.
******
I knew she was up to something yesterday and I'm still turned on thinking about it this morning.
When I came home last night about 6:30 she was home already putting dinner back in the oven to warm up. I kissed her and she had this big smile on her face. I asked her, "What’s up; how was your day?"
She kept on smiling and said, "It was great!"
She still had this smile so I asked, "What’s with the smile?"
She looked around making sure the kids weren't near and said quietly, "can you taste Peter on my lips?"
My eyes opened up like saucers and before I could say anything she whispered, "You said I could have fun, right? I don't know what came over me but I gave him a blow-job after work! I hope you're okay with it."
I was speechless and she said, "Are you?!" All I did was take her back in my arms and kissed her even more deeply, our tongues all over each other. I swear my mind went crazy and I could feel her lips were a bit swollen. Could I taste him at all? It was just so intense.
She pushed me away and smiled. I told her I wanted her upstairs but she said she needed to take care of dinner and that, "there would be time later".
10pm came and we turned off the TV and she joked and said, "I have your stimulus package here!" and with that she rolled towards me and began getting passionate. I was so turned on when she pulled my cock out and said, "hmmm - another cock for today!" Oh god, that was intense. When she started sucking on me all I could think was that she'd done the same for Peter not 5 hours earlier. I was near bursting right away.
She pushed me back on the bed and she climbed on top first and it was the most incredible sex show I've ever seen from her. She squatted over my stiff cock and put on this incredible show for me as I lay there. She had her hands all over herself, rubbing her clit; pulling her pussy open; squeezing her breasts and nipples and all the while slowly lowering herself onto my cock!
As she came to rest she leaned forward and I held her tightly as I pushed the last few millimetres of my cock into her. I told her that was so hot and she said, "I know ..... Peter likes it too!”
That did it for me, I thrust up into her so hard that I almost knocked her off of me and I grabbed both her ass cheeks and held her as I started to just go wild. She just told me over and over, "Do it; fuck me good". We've used this position before but usually she wants to turn over at the end when I'm about to cum and when she'd already cum several times. Not last night though. In between both our moaning she asked me if I could get off in that position and from what she'd said and done there was no doubt. I moaned back "yeah" and she just started urging me on. It was so erotic. I mean she'll be vocal and graphic and stuff but she really got into it saying, "Fuck me ... cum in me ... fill me up already" over and over. The lubricant was incredible and I swear I felt like a machine at one point. At the end I grabbed her ass cheeks harder and pulled her down onto me as I finally let loose. She let out this incredibly sexy low moan and I felt her whole body shake just after I'd started to come down, it was so incredible to feel.
After that we just lay together and she joked, "so, I guess you were okay with my surprise tonight?!"
I held her close and it was one of those moments I've spoken of and I think I can understand it. She had a wild time with Peter, not just yesterday after work, but at other times and it seemed to me last night that what we just had together was like it was added onto what had happened earlier. It was kind of like icing on a cupcake or a dessert after a great meal. At that moment I felt that same closeness I've felt before but I think with more understanding now.
To understand the issue I had with watching them previously (I remember it vividly as it was quite intense for me at the time) they aren't opposed to me watching them at all and back in December we all agreed that it would be good for us, especially me to be there. I do still want to do that and I'm fairly sure they would still be wanting it too. I had some issues back then that I think are, if not totally behind me/us now, at least at the point where I can deal with it.
Suzanna shared that with me this morning that they ARE getting together tomorrow night adding, "So it’s a good thing you enjoyed yourself last night!"
It may be one of the last few times on Thursdays.
******
It’s Wednesday so we're not going to be messing around tonight. It's weird that it feels almost normal now for this on Wednesdays and also for me to actually WANT her to fuck Peter tomorrow night so I can have her later on. Now that I think I have this revelation on why this feels so good for us it'll be interesting to see if I continue to feel this way or if it's just all in my mind.
Still, the idea that she just gave Peter a blow-job yesterday, just like that, is keeping me hot and horny for tonight.
******
Last night was just as good as Thursdays always are and I actually find myself almost eagerly awaiting them. She was a bit later than usual, not getting home till well after 7pm. I was okay with that as I know they are enjoying their last few evenings together, at least for a while.
I was thinking that perhaps a sports/exercise type of excuse might be good for Peter to use as a reason for late nights to his wife but I haven't suggested it to Suzanna yet.
She shooed me away from following her upstairs right away and I begrudgingly gave in. By 10pm I was so eager to rip off her sweatshirt and pants.
I did go down on her last night before we started to get into it. Her pussy was not quite a true creampie but Peter’s semen in her is an obvious taste. Since getting her IUD it's been much more pleasant to go down on her and lick her without tasting spermicide. If I did have the chance one day I don't think I’d hesitate to do it right after he'd finished in her. I have long told Suzanna that even tasting my own cum in her is a turn on; something about knowing a cock was deep inside her when it let loose.
She was pretty tired by 10pm though so after getting her most of the way to another orgasm, I climbed on top and she was fine with me holding her legs back and doing it the way I wanted. Looking down at my cock in her and knowing Peter was in her earlier is, to this day, still a wicked turn on. She held her knees back for me and encouraged me to, "do it for yourself" and assured me she'd be right there with me.
Even a few hours later it seemed she was still VERY wet inside and she told me several times how physical and amorous Peter had been. In my head I told myself that was her way of telling me he'd cum a lot in her and going with that thought it didn't take me long to add my own load to her.
I offered to go down and lick her clean afterwards but she said she'd had enough for one night and felt kind of sensitive ‘down there’ so instead I got her a warm washcloth and we went to bed shortly afterwards.
******
Last night didn't go as planned. We got into a bit of an argument about something unrelated to sex and it spilled over into the bedroom such that there was no nookie last night.
All is mended now, actually, all was mended late last night so there is hope for this evening.
******
All was forgiven last night. Our son was out until quite late (after midnight when he got a ride home) so from 9pm on we had quite a bit of time for ourselves.
Suzanna came out and asked me how I was feeling lately about everything that was going on. I told her that I was happy and I added that her being happy really added to my happiness too. She too said she liked how things were right now and that she was going to miss her Thursdays when they come to an end at the end of March. She told me that Peter had been feeling some pressure at home and that he felt they should change things up a bit. She said that while they haven't figured out what they may do she was hopeful that they would find some alternative.
That was the opportunity so I asked her if Peter could find some other excuse to get out of the house like maybe joining a gym or something like that.
Suzanna said that she didn't see how that would work for her since that would mean she'd need some sort of ‘story’ for her to use with our kids plus, she didn't think it would be something they could ‘schedule’.
I told her she could try being more spontaneous. She was surprised at me suggesting a thing, that I would be okay with that. I was a bit confused and she said that she thought scheduling Thursdays made it easier on me and wasn't sure I would be okay with her running out at other times.
I told her it wasn't me she needed to be concerned about but more what she'd say to our kids. In reality, they probably wouldn't notice or care as long as it didn't impact them.
She said she'd think about it and talk it over with Peter as an option.
I just came out and asked her if she's ever thought of someone other than Peter. She smiled and said that she does but that she's got a good thing going right now and unless that changes, she just enjoys thinking about it and doesn't have any desire to pursue anyone else. She then looked at me and said something about it, "taking a while to get really comfortable with someone" and she then re-emphasized how safe and comfortable she is with Peter.
We started getting amorous and as we undressed and got onto the bed she told me, "you know, he wants to spend the night with me". Just like that, very nonchalantly, as if it's no big deal.
I stopped playing with her to just look at her and asked if that’s something she wanted. She was quiet for a moment which pretty much told me her answer but she did say, "Well, it would be nicer than always having to run out afterwards". I wasn't sure what to say as this was definitely a first!
I had long expected to hear this from her maybe even WANTED her to fancy this. All I could say back was, "how would it happen?”
She told me they'd just tossed the idea around. Peter said that he was thinking that he'd tell his wife that this big-project was coming to an end and there was a big party and that he'd be staying overnight. She thought it might work but wasn't sure how I would be about that.
I told her that I'd need to think about it for a while. I said, "I'm not saying no but I'm not saying yes, yet, either". She smiled and said something like she'd try to convince me to be okay with it and that became the basic premise of all of her teasing last night!
She told me all sorts of stuff as we got frisky in bed; she told me how nice it would be for her not to have to jump up and get all cleaned up to come home; she told me how fun it would be to have sex with him in the morning.
I told her it wasn't the sex that was giving me agitation; it was her spending the entire night with him. To be honest, it brought back a lot of the intimacy-issues I'd felt earlier but, at the same time, it turned me on incredibly and I couldn't hide that from her last night.
She told me to think about how he might be able to easily have sex with her 2 or 3 times before they'd fall asleep and how maybe they could do more in the morning! She did that just to dig into me since I'm at best good for 2 times before I'd need a rest. Just the way she said it, like she really wanted him to fuck her all night long, damn, it really got me hot.
When we finally were fucking she told me how lucky she is that she gets to, "feel this from 2 great guys," As she lay back and really let me get deep into her she asked me in that giggly coy manner, "it really turns you on to know Peter fucks me like this too, doesn't it?"
That was it, on top of everything else, at that moment thinking of Peter deep in her like I was; thinking of her body milking his cock the way she was doing mine; thinking of him cumming inside her over and over just set me off like crazy.
As we lay there afterwards hugging and kissing I asked her if she thought there was a chance I could maybe watch them again. She rolled herself onto her side and looked at me and said, "Do you think you'll be able to?"
All I said was, "I want to try".
She smiled and said, "I'll talk with Peter and see what he thinks".
******
I know how I felt last night but now, later on the next day, I am having second thoughts about how I feel about her spending the night with him.
I started to think about it more and I don't know if it's such a good idea for them to spend the entire night together. I was looking at her in the kitchen earlier and thinking about a lot of stuff such as how I'm really okay with them fucking (that part is easy to accept) but now, after thinking about it, I'm worried about whether spending the whole night is a good idea or not.
I think maybe I’m rushing things a bit too much or something as this isn't feeling that good with me the longer I'm think about it. I know we have a lot of time to talk about it before it might happen so I'm going to try to put it out of my head for a while. Maybe thinking about watching them again started this ill feeling in me again. Then there’s my suggestion of ‘maybe he can go to the gym’ idea part of me says I’m crazy for encouraging them to continue. On top of that is the other part of me that wants to see where it all goes. I just have the shivers thinking about it now that the sexual-high from last night has worn off a bit.
*******
Sometimes I think it's crazy that it was me who wanted to get on this roller-coaster in the first place.
Last night we didn't really talk much more about it, I just told her that I needed some time to think about it. She was all concerned at first that I was going to say no until I told her that I need to think about it some more; that I wasn't necessarily going to say no but that I needed time to get my thoughts together and then to have time to discuss them with her more. She seemed to like that idea and seemed to be comfortable with waiting to talk about it when I was ready.
Since we were talking so openly she asked me more about my request to watch them again or, as she put it, to ‘try to’ watch them again. She asked me what I was thinking and added whether I thought that watching them might be part of my deciding on her overnight request. I hadn't really connected the two but when she asked it that way, I told her that I guessed that if I was okay with watching them, that it would probably help my decision as there would be less for me to have on my mind. (I didn’t mention that there might be more!).
As we got friskier she started asking me more about watching her. I told her that I found their foreplay difficult to witness and I confessed that I also found thinking about that part to be difficult sometimes. She asked me to tell her more so I just laid it out that I did want to see her and Peter fucking but that seeing them be so tender and loving together during foreplay just seemed too difficult for me. Yes, I do KNOW that they do all of this stuff together; I know how they must be for Suzanna to have the sex she does with him; I know he must really get her going.
What I don't know is whether I could take watching them fucking but not watching them build up to it.
Anyway, that's what I suggested in reply to her, that maybe I find a way to come in and join them after they're past the touchy-kissy parts. She smiled at that suggestion and just said, "Whatever would make you be okay with this." Then she said, "I'll talk to Peter and be sure he's okay but I'm sure he will be. He was okay with what we tried last time; I guess he'll be fine with this new idea.”
We did make love last night after our talking wound down. She was very tender with me and hugged me a lot as I entered her. She told me over and over again how she loved me and loved that we could talk so openly about all of this. Once I was in her all the way I told her that, even now, if I just let myself think that Peter’s cock has been where mine was at that moment , that it just filled me with desire for her.
Let’s just say that she ‘gently teased’ me after that. I was on top of her with my arms fully extended and we were both watching our bodies come together. She tipped her hips back a bit (I KNOW she likes to look down and see my hard cock going in and out of her) so we could both watch her. She teased me by saying stuff about, "Peter liking this position too" and her liking to watch him just like she was with me.
As our passions built up I dropped drop down and held her tightly. I felt her legs wrap around mine and soon the only thing we both heard was each other’s moaning. In my head all I could do was see image after image of her and Peter (and I'm sure from how she felt with me, that she may have been doing the same) but all we said to each other were loving words. We did cum almost together, she reached first and feeling her tremble under me was enough to send me over the edge right behind her.
We have quite the snowstorm out here today so I'm off to shovel the driveway before venturing into work a bit late. Not much more to share right now. I would like to say that I'm okay with them spending the night together but I'm not able to tell her that just yet.
*******
I wanted to share some of what we talked about on Wednesday. It was some pretty frank and open conversation that she started out with her asking me, "how do you feel with us not having sex tonight?”
I was caught off guard by that as one of her opening lines! She told me to be honest with her and that there wasn't much I could possibly say that would change anything. So, after downing the last of my beer I came out and told her that it drove me crazy with desire that she was saving herself for Peter the next night. She told me that she also liked it that she liked how she felt, knowing that I wanted her and herself but knowing that the next person she WOULD have sex with was Peter.
I told her that after she went on the IUD that I didn't expect her to let me have her on Wednesdays anyway. She was surprised by that; surprised that I knew her that well and knew of how she was thinking and feeling.
She opened up with me too. She said she loved the sexual experience and desire that Peter has brought out in her. She said that she feels so confident personally and sexually and I told her I could tell from when we're together. I asked her what she thought was going to happen after March and she was honest and said she didn't know.
She said Peter had already started to suggest to his wife that once his Thursday meeting/conference calls are over that he may start going to the gym. So perhaps my suggestion was not so wild after all.
I asked her if she was going to miss her Thursdays. She hesitated a bit before answering me and nodded. She said she was sorry if that bothered me or anything but that she has now come to really enjoy and even look forward to seeing him.
I told her it was really okay, that I wanted her to enjoy herself and I reminded her of what we'd talked about last week and at other times, of how I felt what we had together when she comes home is just like the dessert after a good meal; that it builds on from what she's doing and that I was no longer scared to say it, that I too enjoyed her having sex with Peter.
She asked me why I wanted to watch her. I was stuck on how to say what I wanted to say so I stumbled along trying to tell her that I wanted to be a part and to be there as she experienced her (and his) pleasure. She asked me why I thought I'd feel different now than the last time. I was honest and I told her that since I opened up with her and that since I felt more confident and comfortable with all of this that I thought I would be able to see them in a different light.
I told her that I thought I still felt threatened and that I don't know that I really accepted it back then but I told her that now I do and that I wanted to join them after they'd gotten started. She smiled at that idea and admitted that she too felt a bit uneasy with me watching the start of them getting started.
She was saying something about how long to wait and how that might work out okay. My mind was still racing at everything and there was this quiet pause and she just looked at me and then leaned over and kissed me which brought me back to our conversation. I knew what I wanted to say but it just didn't fit into what we were talking about and the conversation wandered all over until I finally just said it. I looked at her, "I want to be there when you both cum". I said it quietly just like that and she just looked at me and smiled, as if it said everything in those few words.
Last night was very arousing for me. Maybe for the first time as we cleaned up in the kitchen and we were going through some of the mail and stuff, I suddenly realized that this night (actually every Thursday night) that the whole time we keep ourselves busy till our son goes to bed. In that time, the entire time, she's got Peter's cum in her! I don't know why but that was all I could think about last night. I mean this is nothing new, it's obvious when we get in bed and stuff, but for some reason it just hit me last night in a strange way. I couldn't take my eyes off her crotch the rest of the time till we went upstairs just after 10pm.
My mind had been racing knowing that not more than 4 hours earlier Peter had been fucking her and that she'd been wet from him since then. When we did get into our room I started pretty aggressively but she pushed me back and said I should relax and wait a bit and for me to, "get comfortable" (which means strip down to our undies). She did the same and it was just so erotic seeing her sitting on the bed next to me wearing just panties and a bra and, again thinking the whole time, knowledge of what lay between her legs was just driving me crazy!
She saw my cock struggling inside my boxers and she reached in and fished it out and then just sat back and looked at it. She didn't so much tease me as simply make me aware that she had fucked Peter earlier. "Peter was hard like that before, uh, before I got him to calm down." She spread her legs apart a bit and showed me the damp spot between them, "I'm all wet from him". She pulled down the bra-cups and said, ".. and my nipples are still hard from him".
She wasn't teasing me; she was telling me exactly how she felt!
Finally when she did get naked she started to stroke me and as she spread her legs said, "Do you want to see Peter's pussy?"
Oh god did that get to me and I know she felt it in my cock in her hand. She spread her legs a little wider and said, "He made a mess earlier but I cleaned up a bit before coming home."
With that I could see how wet and swollen she was and I told her, "Looks like he was a bit rough on you"
She gave me that same giggle again and said quietly, "The second time he was".
That drove me crazy and to be honest I don't recall anything specific after that other than just about jumping on her and starting to kiss her and run my hands all over her body.
*******
Normally I would be turned on (that's funny, ‘normally’) but last night I seemed to be very aware of all of Suzanna, all of her curves and nooks and crannies as I ran my hands all over her we kissed. I cupped her butt and ran my fingers down to her pussy and I could feel she was very damp and very HOT; I just had to have her.
I pushed her onto her back and began kissing my way down her neck; down her chest, sucking gently at her nipples, wondering if I could taste Peter at all, and then down to her pussy. I licked tenderly as I very gently spread her lips apart. My wet fingers glided almost frictionless between them and I softly pulled her open.
It seemed like I was so much more aware of everything last night than usually; looking down and seeing her lying there with my fingers spreading her pussy apart; seeing her breathing heavy and her nipples pointed towards the ceiling like little pebbles, it was incredible. I pushed my finger inside her vagina. It was hot and felt almost like melted wax inside. I arched my finger and rubbed the ‘roof’ near where I think her g-spot is and she let out this moan that sent chills through me. I pulled my finger out and licked it. Yes, I could taste Peter in her. It's an obvious taste but it was so damn arousing to me I thought my cock was going to burst as I leaned down to lick her gently. Her pussy lips felt so tender and warm and smooth to my tongue and when I ran it up the middle of her between the wetness, the taste and how she arched her back and moaned, oh god, it was just incredible. I thought I'd cum without even touching myself. I'd tasted Peter's cum in her before but last night it just seemed to touch a nerve and drove me crazy.
The next thing I knew we were fucking and fucking hard. There is nothing as incredible as feeling her getting wetter and wetter the deeper inside I pushed.
We both only lasted a few minutes and it seemed I'd brought her to climax several times and she wasn't far behind me at the end. As I lay on top of her thrusting gently she wrapped her arms and legs around me and I am pretty sure she had a really nice long orgasm as we both hugged tightly.
I know it sounds so fairy-tale-ish and I'm sure it probably would have been pretty boring to watch but, for me, cumming inside her at that moment was just very intense last night.
We talked a little afterwards and I came out and asked her if she'd ever consider or want another guy? She turned my head and stared at me for a moment and said something like, "when I'm ready, maybe, but right now you and Peter are all I need".
I’m hoping for a little Friday-night action but I'm not sure she's up to it as, actually, we both seem a bit tired today!
*******
I may have not made it clearer but from what Suzanna has said and from what I've picked up on, Peter's wife is beginning to resume her ‘wifely duties’ more and more. She mentioned it more than once when I asked jokingly, "so, what happened with your quickies with Peter?!” I’m thinking that's also part of what may be bringing an end to their regular Thursday nights. I seriously doubt the whole ‘gym idea’ will work out and I certainly don't think a ring from Peter is in the cards....
So I'm guessing that this will soon become a test for Suzanna of just how much does she like having another guy. I’ve told her that I will miss the intensity it's brought us and our relationship and reminded her that she is free to find another guy but I seriously don't see her having any interests there right now. Maybe after they stop the weekly get-together but I don't see a desire in her at the moment. Suzanna also did remind me that Peter sort of had an interest in her before all of this started, she merely gave into it.
******
Suzanna had told me over and over again that she was going to probably be very late tonight. She was non-committal until last night when she said she thought she'd be home by 10pm or so. I knew this already as she'd told me, also several times, that she wanted to enjoy the last few Thursdays as much as she could.
Aside of the occasional teasing, not much happened last night. She did linger in her panties and then naked for a while last night as we got ready for bed. At one point she said, "Not for you till tomorrow night; remember, I'll be late too". That sort of stuff.
This morning after she dried off from the shower (and I know she did it to tease me) she pranced around naked as she did her makeup and then put together a little bag of stuff to take with her for later. I've seen this before but not her so open about putting stuff in it. Aside of a pair of panties and a tight top she picked out a dildo and some lubricant and openly let me see her put them in her bag along with 2 Penthouse Letters magazines. It took only a few seconds and when she looked up and saw me watching she smiled and then started getting dressed.
******
She didn't get home till after 10:30 and all I can say is that she looked quite happy and quite tired.
We went upstairs right away. She smelled clean so I knew she'd washed up and probably took a shower with Peter. When we kissed I swore I could feel her lips were slightly swollen. Her whole body felt warm. She kissed me back but said she was quite tired and said "but you can have me if you want".
She helped me undress her and after lifting her butt to let me slide off her panties I saw her pussy all swollen, reddened and glistening between her pussy-lips. I knew at that moment I didn't care how tired she was.
She helped by holding her legs back for me and apologized (no doubt knowing it turned me on) for how tired and ‘worn out that Peter left her’. I just let my mind go to what they must have been doing earlier for her to feel this limp and tired and that was it, I tried to hold back but after just a little bit of fucking the 2 day wait had gotten to me and I came deep inside her adding to what Peter had previously left.
As we lay there afterwards I asked her to tell me about her night and she said she couldn't just tell me everything right then as it was already late and we were tired. Instead she said to me that she'd send me an Email today and tell me then.
She tried to renege on the offer to send me an Email today saying she'd feel weird writing it to me so I told her to pretend she was writing it to a girlfriend and to just say whatever she wanted. I'm hoping for something good!
******
She sent me the Email last night and I wound up masturbating to it as soon as I read it! Wow, I'm still turned on and aroused by it today. She laughed when she found out I jerked off to it already last night and said that she was glad I liked it. I told her it was great and that she should write some more. She asked me what I did and didn't like.
It was like we'd opened a new door for us and it was interesting seeing what she'd seem to focus on and what she shared with me. She was scared that some of it would hurt me or bother me. I told her it was actually easier reading it from her than imagining it in my head. She asked if any of it bothered me and I said I felt okay about most of it except for the ‘heart mind and soul’ part but I understood that she meant that for the moment and not beyond that.
I also confessed that I had thought it might have been a bit more graphic. That I thought she might be more expressive about some of the more juicy parts. She said that she is not a good writer (she complimented me again on me being the writer in the family) but said she'd try, as she said, "to make it more dirty next time".
I saved the Email as a Text file and copied it here, it was also longer than I thought it would have been.
To:
Me!
Hi baby,
I'm going to make this short and to the point. I tried to write something longer but you know me, it's like talking on the phone, I don't know when to hang up.
I met Peter in the bar at the Hilton, he splurged for a change! It was nice, we had 2 drinks and had some food. By then I was so horny, sitting there with him, knowing what we were going to be doing, I felt so turned on.
I know you don't like to hear about this part, but from the moment he locked the room door I was naked. I just did it, took off my clothes and folded them on the dresser. Peter didn't even ask me to. I just like it, it makes me feel like I am his. When he looks at me it turns me on that he is seeing all of me.
He was still dressed as we kissed and I let him feel me. I even spread my legs apart for him a little bit so he could feel how wet I was. I told him I wanted him and with that I undid his pants and knelt down.
His cock is like yours, maybe a little thicker and it felt so nice to feel it in my mouth. You know how I like connecting with him, just like you. I like to feel you and Peter get harder and harder.
All I could think about was Peter and how I wanted him. I'm sorry if it pains you to hear this but at that moment, I was Peter's, in heart, mind and soul. He pulled me up and we kissed as he then put me on the bed.
He was naked next to me a moment later. We are so good together, it just feels so natural to be in bed with him. I know his rhythm and he knows mine. A moment later he gently began to lick my pussy and drive me wild.
We were in our own world and I was wishing his tongue was a foot-long! I screamed as he made me cum like that the first time pushed his fingers into me. We kissed and he held me as I so enjoyed what he was doing to me.
I wanted him as I came down from my orgasm. I needed him. I needed something in me. I sucked him for a second and then I got on top of him. He held me to him as we kissed, it was so intense, I could feel his big cock rubbing between my lips and against my clit. I slid up and he teased me for a second before I slid back and took him in me.
That feeling the first time he (or you) enters me touches me so deeply. It is like I am totally giving myself to him. He is in me, I can feel him, his thick penis sliding gently in. I can feel my pussy contracting and then feel it getting wet as he rubs all around my hole and then pushes himself back in. Each time he pulls out and then pushes back in he goes deeper and deeper and each time I am wetter and wetter.
I am almost sorry when he is in me all the way and there is no more but he held my butt and ground himself against me and I came down from my daydream and I began to fuck him. He felt so incredible so deep in me.
Is that what you wanted to finally hear from me? Maybe that's why you wanted this note? Oh I fucked him, oh god did I fuck him. I'm almost embarrassed to think of how wet I was for him and to think of how much I wanted him. I could feel his body under mine and feel his cock in me so deep as I squeezed him. His cock was rubbing everywhere inside me just driving me crazy with desire. My god did I cum on him like that. I reached down and rubbed myself just a bit and that was what I needed. Oh was I loud;without the kids around, it was sooooo good.
He held me close again as I was coming down from that orgasm and I was still shaking as I felt him against me. He held me close and he started thrusting up into me.
I pulled my knees forward a bit and I kissed him back and told him it was his turn. I told him he needed to cum. We kissed more as he really started to get faster and faster. I didn't mind and a few minutes later he held me really tight and thrust really deep and I knew he was about to cum.
I love Peter cumming in me. I have always loved that you were okay with that too. Obviously Peter loves it too and it was obvious Thursday night as he just felt so good deep in me. It was like he was a part of me. Like my pussy was a baby milking his cock. I felt so good just feeling him like that in me that I orgasmed again as he began to stop. We both lay there for a long time afterwards. I told him I loved him and he told me the same. It felt good to feel that with him after what we'd just done.
Peter had brought a bottle of champagne and he finally pulled out of me to go open it. You know how I like to watch you in me well, it’s no different with Peter. Seeing his penis slip out of me all wet and sticky always turns me on. I know he likes to look at me (like you do) and see how I look afterwards. I used to not like it but now you know it doesn't bother me at all. I think it looks all messy but apparently you and Peter have the same reaction!
I was all tingly as we lay there naked together in the bed drinking champagne. We watched a dirty movie on the TV for a while but after maybe an hour and most of the champagne was gone, I wanted him again.
Unlike you, Peter can go again pretty soon. It’s one of the things I love about him! This time I knew from experience with him that he would want to be on top. I knew what to expect. Peter likes the same positions you do, my knees way back or them bent tight under his arms. You know how I feel in that position, totally ******* and open. My pussy, my entire body is his at that moment.
He used some lubricant and then he just pushed it into me. I wanted him to do it just like that. I wanted to feel him back in me. I wanted to feel him take me as his. I relaxed my muscles and opened myself up as much as I could and it felt so incredible to be filled like that! To feel this hard man so deep in me. The idea that he would have me again made me feel so turned on that I was almost embarrassed at how wet I felt and sounded. The squishing sounds coming out of me were almost funny at times. But feeling Peter in me, feeling so fulfilled and satisfied, it just felt so natural for him so deep in me. I wrapped my legs around him and held him tightly as I was close to cumming. Feeling his body against me; my nipples against his chest; his hair tickling my clit; I was on fire.
He was so deep in me he was pushing me into the bed. I held it there as long as I could before I pulled my knees back for him at the end.
I knew he needed it as much as I did at that moment. I needed to feel him spasm in me again. I needed to feel how hot I would be inside. I needed to feel his body shake against me and to hear him gasp and moan in my ear. I knew when I did I would cum with him.
A moment later it happened. I felt him thrust into me and I went with it and let him in me as much as I could. It felt like he was so deep in me when he finally came I was almost in tears from how I felt. He let out a moan that I know is how he sounds when he really climaxes and that just drove me crazy. I could feel the heat from his cum in me again as he held me close.
I know you and I cum at the same time a lot and it's always intense. It was the same way with Peter. It was like we were on fire. Every motion from either of us just kept the moment going.
Finally he did roll over off of me and we both lay there next to each other giggling and laughing and catching our breath. It had to be well after 8pm as Peter poured us the last of the champagne.
I know I thought about you at one point during the night. I think I laughed when I thought that you really got your wish. That your little wifey just had spectacular sex with her lover and was lying there still naked with him. I hope you are enjoying the fruits of your efforts, I know I am.
The dirty movie was still on the TV (or maybe it was a different one) and we joked about the positions that the actors were in. Peter curled up behind me and he poked his penis back into me from behind. I was still very messy and very wet. I pushed back against him and once we got comfortable we lay like that for a while. It felt so nice to know we had time to enjoy more. I felt him caress me a lot like you do but his hands and his body feel different than yours.
I knew what he was doing. I wanted it too. He knew if I would give him long enough that he might cum a 3rd time. He didn't even need to ask me, I knew what he wanted and when he felt me push back against him he knew it too.
After a few minutes we moved up to me on my hands and knees. I pushed back for him and my god, I felt like a bitch being mounted. I pushed back for him and it was so incredible to feel so full and so incredibly good. I wished he were twice the size to just keep making me cum more and more. I leaned forward and let him have me as much as he wanted. I had already cum so many times that I just wanted him to have some more and I knew he'd need some time to get there. I let myself get lost in the moment and just focused on feeling him in me - that was all I could think about, all I could focus on, feeling him so deep in me and his hands holding my hips.
I don't remember anything else really until feeling Peter cum again. He held me so tightly and he seemed so urgent, even desperate to cum one last time. It was a pretty wild moment when he finally did. Just feeling and hearing him easily brought me to orgasm again.
I know we both lay there for a while after that. We talked about this and that until we both saw that it was after 10pm already. Peter too said he needed to get cleaned up before he went home.
I didn't shower with him (at least not this time), instead I just cleaned up with a washcloth while Peter did the whole 9 yards. I thought about you for a moment - wondering what you would think of your wife and her lover washing up in the bathroom together. I knew I was pretty tired already and I knew I had to drive home to you. I stayed naked for Peter for a little longer. I love how he looks me over all the time. But all good things have to come to an end. I reminded him that I was due for my monthly next week and that was when he asked me again about staying overnight with him. I told him that I still wasn't sure yet and that I still needed to talk to you about it.
And then I came home. Thoughts of Peter were soon replaced by thoughts of you!! I'm glad I was able to be there for you when I got home.
Well, that's it. Did I say too much? I don't know, I looked it over like 3 times and changed things each time. It's not at all what I thought it would have been. I guess I won't be writing any stories for Penthouse Letters.
Luv,
Suzy
I know Suzanna read and re-read and revised what she sent to me several times over. I had asked her and she apologized to me for taking so long and then assured me that what she started out with was more like a book than a short-email.
I can ask her to share more of her feelings. I see that she, like me, finds it easier to put things in Email than it is for her (or I) to come out and say it out loud.
I believe I know and understand how she felt and what she thought about - but then again, I do only know what she's told me verbally. I'll ask her how she'd feel about trying to share all her thoughts.
She did mention the overnight thing in her Email to me. To be honest we have not talked about it again just yet but I did say that it was something we need to talk about soon.
I have to say that reading her note to me was, in many ways, easier than hearing her tell it to me in person. Either she intentionally didn't mention a lot of the stuff that gave me so much concern or discomfort or I am making more out of it than she is giving to it. As we talk more this week I may reach some decisions.
I don't know if I’m making too much out of this. I mean what more can they possibly do together? On the other hand, the idea of my wife sleeping with him for the entire night and all that entails is still a bit too much for me right now.
******
Where she says that she is ‘his’ does touch me. It is such a strange feeling. All at once I am both turned on as well as hurt. I'm at a loss to find the right word as hurt isn't it but I do feel it in the pit of my stomach when I let myself think about her with him. Despite that feeling though the other part of me is incredibly aroused that she can be as physical and sexual with him as she is.
The other line that affected me was when she describes herself as a bitch being mounted. All I can think about is her jutting her ass and pussy back towards him as he just used her. Even now it makes me both want to puke as well as masturbate to think about it.
The thing is, aside of those individual moments and her ability to convey how she felt at them, I still love the idea of her fucking another guy. That they are as comfortable together as she says is a bit unnerving (that's closer to how it feels than hurt) but despite that, I still love her being so sexual.
I've known for several months that she likes to be naked with him. I saw it first-hand for the short time I was able to stay with them before Christmas when I tried to stay and watch. I was okay with her being naked with him back then right up until I saw him put his hands all over her and how she gave into him so willingly and openly.
******
Tuesdays are somewhat intense nights for us (well, me at least) in that mentally the sex is a bit more consuming. Despite this having been a routine situation, I still find myself incredibly aroused at knowing she is unavailable the next day and that she will next be with Peter again before me.
She has promised me that tonight we will have time to talk. I asked what her thoughts were on the future with and without Peter and she said she has some ideas and teased me that I will just have to wait till tonight to find out more.
I have not come to a conclusion about her overnight request. In the course of some of what we talked about over the past few days (after her PMS-ness eased) I shared with her my concerns. And at her prodding/asking, I did tell her that iit does turn me on to think of her with him all night but that I am reluctant to let Peter have that experience with her and vice-versa.
In continuing to try to be as open with her as I can be I told her that in some ways I would find the overnight easier, at least in my mind, if I was finally able to actually watch her with Peter. That after seeing them together I thought it would either be easier to say okay or that I would feel that no is the answer. I can't really articulate all of how I feel except that I guess deep down inside a part of me is still unsure about it all. Seeing her with him sexually will either make it easier for me to be okay about an overnight, or, if I find it to be too much if/when I do watch, that maybe I just couldn't take them having a whole night of that.
I know that I sound stupid but better that I share my honesty with her rather than encourage her to do something that I am unsure of. I honestly didn't think I would feel this way knowing what I do about how they are and what they do together.
She already told me that she will most likely be very late tomorrow night, as if I couldn't guess that..!
******
Her period ended a few days ago. She said this one was better than last month so I think she's VERY sold on the IUD.
We had some honest open discussion over the past few days that both made me feel more comfortable as well as less comfortable at the same time.
She asked me exactly what I was thinking about everything that was going on. I told her that I was sorry that her regular Thursday meeting with Peter was going to be coming to an end. She replied that she still hoped, especially with the warmer weather approaching, that Peter would still find time to spend with her.
I asked her if the end of their Thursday's was at all behind her overnight request. She nodded and then she said that she hoped that perhaps, if I was okay with it, that there could be others. She said something about if she can't have every Thursday, that when they could get together, that she wanted it to be for a longer period of time.
That led me to open up and tell her about my concerns about them spending a whole night together. She asked me pointedly, "what more do you think we're going to do that we haven't done already?”
I honestly had no answer for that except to say that for over 25 years now, that I was the only man she'd spent an ‘entire night’ with and that I wasn't necessarily comfortable with her sharing that with Peter. She just laughed at that and said that they've already ‘fallen asleep’ together on some Thursdays and then, just to dig it in, she added, "and when we have, he's been in me the whole time!”
In the back of my mind I knew this already for she'd mentioned it several times. She did hold me close and very affectionately kissed me and said, "baby, you don't have to worry". Seeing those big brown eyes staring at me just totally disarmed me.
At another point she asked me to tell her everything that I was thinking, that she wanted to hear it from me, what I thought about on Tuesdays, Wednesdays and Thursdays. So, what the heck, I thought I might as well just tell her everything. I told her Tuesday nights I seem to feel an urgency to have sex with her even if we're tired or busy. Somehow in my mind I need that to allow me to be okay with Wednesday and Thursdays. I then told her that I have actually come to like Wednesdays and that knowing she is ‘saving herself’ for him on Thursday was very much a turn-on.
She asked me why I don't masturbate more on Wednesdays and I told her that I actually enjoyed the arousal building until Thursday night. She giggled at that and said something like, "yeah, you sure do want me on Thursdays".
We talked about my earlier intimacy issues. I told her that I still felt unnerved at just how intimate and open she is with Peter, not just the whole being naked thing, but just how free Peter seems to be with her body. She said she still didn't totally understand how I could be okay with Peter cumming in her but not with him touching her or whatever else. I really couldn't answer why.
Suzanna even suggested that maybe I come up and join them tonight and watch but there was just no way to coordinate it with the kids. Fortunately, hopefully, our son will get his driver’s license soon (next month) and that may resolve the kid-issue. I told her that I did want to watch them and repeated again that maybe not being there for their foreplay might be easier. She just answered, "as long as you think you'll be okay when we're fucking....” She then just asked me, "do you want to watch him cum in me?"
I nodded my head yes but it took me a moment to weakly say, "yes". She smiled at that and said she thought she would like it if I could be there to share that moment with her. She said that maybe seeing that it's not so terrible would help me get over the last of my issues. I told her that I had the same thoughts but still wasn't sure I could do it. I told her that knowing she's fucking him and seeing her fucking him are 2 different things; even knowing it's his cum in her is still different than watching it happen. She had this concerned look on her face until I said again that I did want to watch her and that, in many ways, seeing him in her at that moment was in fact the pinnacle of my fantasy from so long ago that started all of this. I didn't tell her this exactly but I did tell her that I do love the visions I have of her with her legs wrapped around him.
There was still more we talked about. I asked her if she had any interest in anyone other than Peter. She smiled and asked me whether I did or did not want her to. I told her that I thought since she started with Peter, that our relationship had been strengthened and that I felt much more comfortable talking to her and that I found her even sexier than ever before. I added that I didn't want that to change if she was no longer seeing Peter.
I asked her if she was going to miss fucking Peter on Thursdays. She smiled and just said, "yes" that she was going to miss it but then she added that right now, she was just focused on enjoying the last time with Peter (yeah right!) and that she wanted to see how she herself felt after things slowed down. (She also told me that Peter has said many times that his wife was getting back to normal and wanting him more too).
As the last thing I'll share for now is that she already told me (and the kids) that she would be very late tonight. She also told me that she wanted us to talk seriously about her overnight when she gets home tonight and tomorrow. I pushed her as to when she wanted to spend the night and she said, "maybe next weekend, April 4th" and she then offered that I could come and be with them that same night if I wanted to.
So, I think I'll be ****** later tonight or tomorrow to say yes or no finally and not be able to waffle on it. Wish me luck.
*******
I guess what I am concerned about is if I say, "ok" to the overnighter that it may then become the norm either in terms of more with Peter or, if another guy comes along in the future, that it becomes something she expects. She says this is not the case.
She didn't get home until well after 11pm last night and tired as she may have been, she was there for me. I won't go into more now but she was just so beautiful and quite tender last night. I felt I had to be gentle with her. Needless to say, I didn't last very long!
This morning I asked her to send me another Email as in some ways she seems to be able to express herself a bit more openly that way. She said she would think about it and she reminded me that she wanted to also try to write me a sexier one too.
*******
It’s Saturday and Suzanna's out shopping so I'm here reading over the last few entries in the journal.
She told me she was still a little ‘tender’ last night but nevertheless, she seemed very horny as was I. Before we got into it she did say she was going to send me a sexy Email and she emphasized that she was going to be more explicit for me and she added that she hoped I would be okay about reading it. I told her that I really wanted to read about all that she felt and experienced and that she shouldn't feel she needed to shield me from anything.
We talked about other things too including the overnight. I did ask her whether this was something she wanted or whether it was something that Peter wanted. She paused for a moment to think about her answer and then said that while it was Peter who suggested it that in the past few weeks, especially with knowing that this past Thursday was the last of their ‘regular’ meetings that she found herself wanting it too.
She told me several times that it doesn't mean anything to her other than having more time to be with Peter and that she also wanted to be able to be with him and not have to know in the back of her mind that she needed to be mindful of the clock and to come home at a reasonable hour. She said that this past Thursday night she honestly wished she could have spent the whole night with him as by the end she was quite tired (and worn out!) and would have liked to just cuddle up with him and fall asleep.
I told her that I was okay with the sex part but that what she said about cuddling up and sleeping in his arms was what was getting to me. She knows that I'm concerned that this will mark a new page in what we're doing together and that I was concerned about what it would mean for us moving forward.
She said that while she could say she loves Peter, she was quick to say that she never wanted to hurt me and that if I truly felt that I couldn't accept her sleeping with him like that, that she would accept that and she wouldn't argue it but she then added that she hoped I wouldn't be upset if she tried to convince me that it would be okay for us.
We talked pretty frankly at some points. She asked me if I was still turned on by her having sex with Peter. My hard cock gave my answer away. I told her that thinking about her and him always turns me on and I added that knowing he cums in her 2 to 3 times is also very much of a turn on. She asked me if I was coming to accept things more in terms of how they were with each other. She added, "you know the whole intimacy thing you have".
I told her that in my mind and when I have her home afterwards, thinking and knowing how they are together was very arousing and that I was more able to accept that she truly is HIS when they are together.
After we fucked last night she told me as we lay there in bed that she never wanted to not have ‘this’ of how we were together and that no matter what happened, that ‘this’ would never change. She swore up and down that just spending the night with him wouldn't make a difference to us.
I’m still sitting on this fence and I think the only thing that keeps me from believing that bad things are going to happen is how and what Suzanna keeps on telling me, that she just wants it for herself and not that she's in love with Peter to the point that they can't be without each other or stuff like that. The other thing that I’m starting to admit to myself is that in some ways, well, I want to say yes to them doing more. I truly do feel that I like being a cuckold, that there is a certain satisfaction that I feel very deeply about Suzanna being sexually active with another guy. It's what makes me even look forward to Wednesday, knowing she's telling me she wants him.
I know that there's no turning back once I would say okay to them. There's this huge part of me that wants to let her do it, just to have the experience. I know that I'll feel lost sleeping alone knowing where she is but when I let myself think about it, I am coming to realize and accept that I want to feel that, at least once. Just as I want to be there and watch them, also at least once.
I know that both of these things will probably hurt like hell when they happen. I've re-lived what I saw last December when I tried to be there and watch them the first time but now, 3 months later, I recall the feeling of wanting to throw-up and of being so anxious at what was going on but, at the same time, I now feel as though I wished I'd had the strength to stay and watch.
I think back to the moments before I left, of Suzanna giving herself to him and seeing him so comfortable with her body, and all I can think of is how friggin' turned on I am whenever I think about it and I kick myself for leaving. If I let my mind go to that moment I think I'll be okay seeing it happen. I mean I do want to share that moment with her to the degree that I can and in my mind I can even see walking over to her afterwards as she lies there in a post-orgasmic bliss and I can see myself giving her a kiss goodnight and just telling her that I’ll see her in the morning. I've even masturbated to these thoughts many times. I’m thinking that if I really want this, that I must truly be a cuckold at heart and in some ways maybe it's just fate and nature and almost normal for me to say yes to her.
I doubt any of this makes sense but at least it felt good writing it.
******
I've been trying to put myself mentally where I’ll be if I say yes. In the abstract, I do love the idea of the 2 of them fucking for most of the night. I guess in that sense Suzanna is right, that there isn't anything more they can or will do with each other. I guess it's really just the knowledge of spending the whole night together, that and being together in the morning, that's the only real difference. I do sort of wonder how she'd be in the morning, waking up with him after a long night of sex. I know they've showered together but I do wonder how she'll be when it is after sleeping all night next to him. I also know that the entire time I'll be home with all of these thoughts running through my head as they are now.
The crazy thing is that I am very turned on by all of this. Wicked nervous and not totally sold on it yet but the idea of her sharing all of herself with him even more than she has now is terribly arousing! In some way I do want her to feel everything she can and everything she wants to. For her to want this, she truly must want to give Peter all of her. That's a turn-on for me to know, that she truly wants it at this point.
I am a cuckold and after giving it a lot of thought, I am going to tell her yes, they can – should – spend the night together. They were thinking of next Friday night but I pointed out that it's Good Friday, although none of us seem to be overly religious. I asked her what Peter was going to use as his excuse and he said that he'd already arranged an alibi and I reminded her that she didn't want to be the cause of any problems.
We've talked about a lot of stuff in the last few days including her asking me if I was going to miss her being with Peter. I was kind of taken by that question - it was weird, I answered yes and it felt good to say it. Like a weight had been lifted off of me. She smiled at me and said she thought I would say that.
I asked her what she wanted out of her night with Peter and I guess she got the vibe from me that I was being open and she was too. She started with the same reasons she'd told me earlier, not liking to have to rush home or whatever. I actually asked her if that was all it was or was she looking forward to being with "him" for longer.
When she didn't answer me right away I already knew the answer. She swore to me up and down that it's not love and that she doesn't feel that for him - but then as she looked away from me a little she also said that she loves sex with him. She quickly added, "not more than with you or not better than with you", "just different" and after a pause "more physical might be a way to describe it". And she looked back at me and I just said "its okay" and I then just said "I understand".
And I do. I also know that I feel like a million bucks right now. Something about setting her free to do it - it just feels right. She saw me smiling a little and she said "you're really okay with it?" and I just said that she needs to make sure that this is all it is and again she swore up and down that she just wants more of him.
I didn't ask about watching her but it did come up. She asked if I still wanted to and I nodded and said yes. Again a pause which I picked up on right away and asked "what - what's wrong" and she just said that I need to be sure its something I really want. I didn't understand why she said that until she said that "Peter is very physical with me" and all I said back was "oh" and then I just said "maybe I should wait then?". I didn't push it and sort of left it there.
The fact that this was a Wednesday night did come up. Once she heard the stuff I opened up to her with she said that we should keep up our Wednesday pattern and not have sex tonight. It was weird because I actually didn't expect to (I did not tell her though). I asked her if she'd tell me all about her night when she comes home and she said she would love to.
So, that's it - it's almost all out in the open now. I told her, Yes, when she asked if I "take care of myself" (her term for masturbating) on Wednesdays (of course she already knew that). When I admitted to being turned on thinking about her with him all night she asked me about it and I just told her that the idea of her being in bed with him, having sex whenever they wanted, her sleeping with next to her or closer, (as someone here suggested) her maybe having a "morning" with him before coming home - I told her it all turned me on. But then I added that it only turned me on if, in fact, she was coming home to me.
She knew what I meant by that and she just turned to me and said that I will always be where she calls home. I swear I almost felt a tear in my eyes! Sometimes you just feel something from your partner and this just feels good - really good.
******
I do still have some misgivings but it feels so good to be able to tell Suzanna exactly how I feel and to finally be honest with myself too.
I genuinely do want her to have the experience she wants. When I think about her waking up in his arms and them enjoying a leisurely morning fuck and the maybe showering and dressing together - it just turns me on incredibly to think about her sharing those moments with Peter. Yes, it's going to hurt - I already know how I'll feel next Friday night lying in bed alone - but I also know that I will have such fantasies that there are going to be a lot of sticky wads of tissues by the time morning comes around.
I fear that Suzanna sharing those intimate moments with him will take away from what we have together. That could be but I wouldn't be honest with myself if I didn't say I want to experience this.
I guess that's the difference I feel. Inside I want to truly experience being a cuckold - and that surely (for me) includes denial and, at times, her even preferring or wanting him more than me at times.
I may regret it later but right now, it feels wonderful to anticipate this and want it to happen.
And yes, I do see that Suzanna is getting much better at manipulating me and alleviating my concerns while still keeping me very aroused at what is going on.
*******
It is a rainy Friday evening and Suzanna is waiting for me in the bedroom.
Last night was sort of poignant in that we both admitted to each other that we missed her being with Peter. We got one of her 'toys" out and I had some fun giving her pussy a bit of a workout before I took my turn - or so we 'pretended'.
She hasn’t really talked much about her plans for next week but I am sure we will over the weekend. Tonight we are both on the tired side so I suspect it will be an early night.
******
The weekend was busier than I'd anticipated. We did do a lot of talking - Suzanna seemed somewhat reserved on Saturday until I told her that I was really okay with my decision and what she wanted. I told her that I believed what she'd said about us and that with that in mind, I wanted her to have the experience she wants (well, not in those words exactly but that was what I conveyed).
I think not being with him this past Thursday may now be getting to her as I don't think she realized herself how much her time with Peter had become part of our sexual relationship. She asked me if I was excited at all about what she was going to be doing and my hard-on gave her my answer. I told her that knowing she really wanted him was all I needed to feel okay about it (well, that plus what she'd said about us) and that if she really felt the need to give herself to him all night long - then that was okay by me. At one point I told her that just thinking of them together all night - sleeping, fucking, waking, showering, eating - that knowing she'd be his all night was a thrill for me.
Hearing that seemed to allow her to relax and express herself a bit. She told me that she feels like she's going to her high-school senior prom all over again. How she's going to be going out for a night of fun and romance and how she'll then spend the night with him.
I told her that of course I still had misgiving and such, but that it was much like Wednesday nights for me - in that it was such a turn-on that I actually find myself WANTING her to do it now. Somehow knowing when she leaves Friday morning that she won't be back till Saturday is just incredibly arousing for me.
*****
I didn't know what to expect last night and I was pleasantly surprised when Suzanna genuinely wanted to "make love" and not just fuck.
We didn't talk about Peter but I know I felt aroused thinking about the next few days and I didn't ask Suzanna but I suspect that her thoughts may have also fuelled her passion last night.
We felt so close to each other at points that it totally wiped any worries I have of her with Peter out of my mind. There is just a connection you feel with your wife at certain things that leaves no doubt. I definitely felt it and so did Suzanna judging from how she too responded.
Afterwards she did ask me if I minded not having sex with her tonight and tomorrow. I gave her a pained look and she said, "how about if I just take care of you?" - Which usually means she will give me a blow-job - my smile at that answered her question.
******
That’s it. I'm sitting here totally wired and awake and all I can think about is her in there sleeping away as if tomorrow is nothing. Maybe it is - I hope it is, but right now, it's all I can think of.
She did give me one heck of a blow-job last night. It's rare that she wants to do it - she'd usually just rather fuck, so that was a nice change.
Tonight, nothing. I knew from what pyjamas she had on that she was keeping to her decision. I guess as I thought about it, it sank in more that she did that last night for Peter too. It sounds crazy but I swear it just turned me on even more to think about it. She really wants this tomorrow and though I'm really torn up if I think about it too much, on the other hand, damn if I'm not totally horny just the same.
It’s a pretty fucked up feeling I’ve got as I sit here thinking about tomorrow night at this same time, being alone here and knowing what she's doing.
We did talk a little about tomorrow and she said that she was sure I would be okay afterwards and she asked me what I was thinking. I told her honestly that on one hand I am concerned and not all that comfortable, that on the other hand I am wicked turned on and that she needs to tell me about it when she gets back. And that was when she told me that she'd been writing "for days" as she put it and that she was going to leave me this long note that is more like a book. I sort of joked back that I'd have a lot of time to read it and she gave me that same giggle.
She turned the TV off after Leno's monologue and told me to either go to sleep or go in the other room. So here I am.
******
I feel like I’m in a dream. It still doesn't seem real that I just kissed her goodbye and actually told her to have fun.
I saw that she had packed a small bag to take with her and that didn't get to me that much. What really did was that there was only 1 toothbrush in the bathroom. I swear at that moment I felt everything all over again in an instant.
I took a moment to get hold of things and in a bit it felt better. I looked at our bed and thought about her in a hotel with Peter instead of here. But it felt okay I just let myself relax and thought about the good parts and not the bad and the feeling passed. I figure that' why I was sort of okay when she left.
Suzanna said that she told the kids she would call her from "the party" she was going to but she sort of asked me if we could maybe not talk as she didn't want to feel weird. I asked her if she could text me at least to tell me she was ok. She said "maybe" but "maybe not".
She told me to look on the computer when I get home today and again she apologized for writing a book!!
I can't believe how aroused and on edge I am knowing she's really doing this.
******
I made it through the day. Good thing it got busy here today as it took my time off all of this.
But it's now 4:30pm and I pretty much know if she isn't on her way that she will be shortly.
I will try not to masturbate tonight but if how I feel right now is any indication - I'm not sure I'll be able to hold off. My cock hasn't calmed down all afternoon.
So, I’m heading home soon to an empty house. But all I need to do is think about Suzanna getting fucked all night and I am instantly on the edge of cumming if I were to even touch myself.
******
Well - the kids are in bed at least my daughter is; my son has some sort of loud disturbing noise he calls music coming from his room in the basement. I was surprised when they told me that mom had called them on their cellphones - I didn't know she'd called.
I read Suzanna’s note and I feel so empty inside when I read what she said about how much of herself she's given and shared with Peter.
And yet if I were to drop my pants and stroke myself just a second or two I would explode like a water balloon.
I feel very anxious right now. I know what she is doing - maybe not this very second but I know how Peter is fucking her right now - it's right here in her note to me!
I have to step away from this for a while or I'm going to go crazy. Between the phone call thing and what she wrote, I don't know if I have started something more than I wanted.
Still - I am wicked horny. Very wicked horny. If I breathe deep and focus on the sex and not the things she wrote - it is good.
I need to step away right now though. I think a beer on the front porch listening to the drizzling rain might be a good place to be. Almost like it's just too much to be thinking about and I need a break. I didn't think it would be this much angst.
******
It's almost midnight now. I'm sitting here staring at this screen thinking of her. Now that it's done with I feel good about it. I wonder if they're sleeping. I am struggling to resist thinking about it too much as my cock feels like it's on a hair trigger.
I read her Email over a few times. It's actually not an Email, she just wrote it in notepad. She wasn't kidding that it’s really long, but it tells me a lot. I have to think about posting it here, it's very revealing - I almost feel like I am reading her diary.
Two things I feel from reading it before I sign off and try again to find something else to do until I can maybe fall asleep.
1) It is clear how she is with Peter and that what I saw when I tried to stay with them was very little of just how she is with him. I had thought that perhaps she'd not quite shared every bit of herself with him but it is clear that she has and does, and,
2) That as intense as it may be, I don't read into it any more than something physical which is why I think I am feeling okay right now.
I will say that seeing the empty bed next to me as I tried to watch something, anything on TV was a bit difficult. Her note basically said what she would want if it all went as she would like it to. At some of the stuff it felt like someone had stomped on my nuts and yet at other stuff my cock was wicked hard. I just cannot believe what she shared in this note she left me, some of it is incredibly personal that even I am surprised at it.
I am going to go toss around in bed and maybe have a beer to fall asleep to. I am NOT going to masturbate, I decided that earlier. I do want to be eager and ready for her whenever she gets home.
I guess that I am finding some level of enjoyment and arousal confirms that I am a cuckold.
******
Of course there's no chance for me to sleep late!!! I can't believe I’m up at 6am!!!
She’s really not here. I even had the thought that maybe she'd surprise me and be here.
One thing - I have this tent going with the blanket. I can't believe I managed to not cum yet - I thought for sure there might be a wet-dream in it for me with how horny I was trying to fall asleep last night.
I may read her note again. If I’m going to be awake I might as well feel the part.
******
It's 10am and still no sign of her. I can't bring myself to even eat breakfast I just have this empty pit in my stomach.
And yet I'm not upset or angry - I just miss her.
She told me in her note that she expected to be fucking him this morning after a room-service breakfast. I am sure she got her wish.
I can sort of picture them in the fluffy hotel robes having breakfast and then them having each other again. Suzanna described what she wanted to experience and I guess she is getting it. Thinking about them waking up and washing the remnants of last night off themselves - together in the shower gets me all worked up.
She said so much of what she wanted to feel and experience that if I just think about what she's probably done with him that I am ready to uncork!
I don't care about any of that though. At this moment I just want her to come home.
Checkout time has to be 11 o’clock so she will have to be here by noon. I can't wait to hold her in my arms.
I re-read her note yet again and while I can't post it all here as some of it is almost too revealing to the point that if you knew her you might put one and one together, I may share parts of it. There is one part that if I think about it too long I swear I would cum just like that. She describes how she wanted Peter to have her "doggy-style" - at one point she says she wants to be his "bitch" and for him to mount her like an animal and just "take her". It’s the way she wrote it that let me understand what she wants to feel.
I have to step away again for a while. I just need a break, and to also keep my cock from exploding the more I think about it.
*******
She got home just before 1pm today. I don't know if the kids noticed it but I did, maybe it's in my head but she just looked so incredible to me. Something about her eyes, this deep relaxed look, but the hug I gave her was equally returned and the quiet, "I love you" we exchanged seemed to just push all my worries and concerns aside. Something in how she felt against me as we hugged was just so wonderful. She smelled clean and tasted like tooth-paste and all I could think about was her and Peter waking up this morning and getting cleaned up together!
To think that not more than 24 hours ago she spent the night in his arms is just such a turn on right now. When the kids were out of sight she did hold me and ask me if I was okay with everything and I just said that as long as she was in my arms now and would share her experience with me later, that I was going to be okay with it.
She hasn't let me touch her at all below the waist yet and barely let me caress her tits. She keeps saying, "wait till later and I'll tell you everything you want to know, but I want you to wait!". She also asked me if I was a, "good boy last night" which is her way of asking if I masturbated. She smiled when I said no.
Some of what she wrote in her note to me was very intense. I am almost scared to have her later tonight again knowing how she felt. She told me of how she feels when she is intimate with him and how she felt at the moment before I walked out on them last year. Knowing what she wrote is so incredibly sexy to me. It’s made me feel so horny I hope that she can do it again.. or maybe that's my cock talking!...
Just the idea that she may be still wet and hot from him later on tonight is making me so eager.
I know from what she wrote to me what she shared with him last night. There may be little that she has kept from him for just us but that's okay, somehow it feels very erotic and almost comforting to know what she's done.
*******
I read somewhere else that described the moments with your wife when she comes home from a lover as being like a ‘first date’. I can tell you that is exactly what it was like yesterday.
My god I was so turned on I was almost scared to have her again. Scared in the sense that I didn't want the incredible horniness that I felt to end but also scared to find out what was beneath her clothes. Just like a first date of what would she look like, how would she feel. I was almost hesitant and so cautious to undress her not knowing how she would be.
Suzanna said later on that she'd felt the same way as she used to on first dates, how would she feel letting him see her that first time, how would the sex be for them.
Every part of her was more beautiful than I'd remembered from just a day or two earlier. I was so much more aware of her. She was very hesitant too until I somehow told her that it was alright and that I was totally turned on about what she'd done.
The idea that she'd spent the night with Peter was no longer bothering me in any way. Instead the knowledge that he HAD her and used her for almost 24 hours was such a turn-on for me.
Undressing her and my hands were shaking.
She shared so much in her note of just how intimate and how much of herself she gives to him that I had no doubt that she would feel so tender in my arms and when I was in her. I knew from how she looked and how she felt that she had let herself go totally with Peter. Instead of bothering me all it did was drive me crazy with desire! I was actually worried I'd wind up almost ****** her. Instead, all I could do was just stare at her as she lay there naked for me. Finally, looking at her like that, seeing her still a little red and swollen between her legs, I actually felt sort of proud of her (and me).
I know she felt exactly the same but in my mind just knowing that Peter had made her his last night; just thinking of them orgasming together in bed knowing he was cumming in her just as he wished he could do with his own wife, pride was what I was feeling.
She felt so incredible. She encouraged me to enjoy myself as she said she, "would surely be right there with me".
Maybe the word ‘tired’ could describe how she felt but, to me, knowing how she got that way drove me crazy and she just encouraged me along telling me how she'd cum so much with Peter that she still felt so good.
I have never cum like that in years and years. Holding myself above her on extended arms and looking at her just as Peter had so many times that was it for me. I just let myself go to thinking his cock being where mine was and that was it, I let loose.
Afterwards, she stayed true to her note to me and stayed in bed with me until we'd almost fallen asleep. Even though I was spent already, knowing she'd probably slept just like that, still wet and sticky and close to him the night before, I just hugged her and held her close. The soft murmurs of, "I love you" left me no doubt how I felt about her and she about me. I did consider she may have said that same thing to Peter the night before but it felt okay if she did, I can accept that if it leads to nights like we had last night.
Seeing her naked in the bathroom cleaning herself up this morning got me hard thinking of her having done that same thing with Peter the day before! This is wonderful.
******
I feel very good about us after the weekend. Suzanna was a bit hesitant about last night but after getting together with family on and off during the afternoon, I too admitted I was pretty tired last night so all we did was hang out and talk.
Suzanna was very concerned about me and whether I was really okay. I told her that in retrospect, I seemed to have made a big deal out of something that no longer seemed that big. I told her that our ‘reunion’ on Saturday night did a LOT to ease my concerns. She smiled and said much the same thing.
She started to tell me about some of what they'd done and I told her that I had my own visions of them from her note she left for me.
I asked if she'd done everything she'd put in her note and she smiled and said very quietly that yes, they had and then she added, "maybe more...".
*******
Time for a new book.
*******
