need help...if anyone can shed some light for me

[slinky67]

hi there...i have been a member of this site for years. Have been thru a marriage break up, because of thei lifestyle...met a wonderful slutty gal from that, but never worked out....in the end, she fucked this greek, huge, body builder type and left me for him...and has just had a child to him....she broke my heart massively in the process. I have always been a cuck...whether that being acted on, or just knowing that i am as a person. I am an alpha male if you ever met one...with a good size cock...and one you could fuck me any ex's for hours on end till they orgasmed over and over, my last ex...i gave her her first orgasm ever...even though she had been with 40+ guys before me.
My issue has become something i have never had to deal with.

My current gal, is keen on the cuckolding lifestyle, she was in a sexless marriage for 10 years...and swears that will never happen again. she is cool with me being bi...a cuckold...and be submissive to her etc.
The issue is, and this is serious....she has the loosest and wettest pussy i have ever fucked...which is fine, i love that it feels right from the start that she has been gb'd...but when we fuck...i am unable to last more than 45 sec...couple of minutes max...i know i'm not thick enough for this gal...but with all my ex's i have been...i'm figuring now i am suffering of a premature ejaculation issue, which i have never, ever had to contend with and which i cant seem to be able to get on top of...does any one have any idea why this may have happened now in my life and only with this gal...i am 42yo...she is 34yo and we have been together for 16 months....something more constructive than "its cause your a sisy cuck" would be helpful! especially any ideas from women would be of greater help!

Cheers

Slinky

 

[slinky67]

this is my new gal!

just to show you what i'm dealing with!

 

[Custer Laststand]

What a sensuous-looking woman.... no wonder you have this problem.

Slinky,

I'm not a woman, but I'll comment anyway for whatever it might be worth.

The issue is, and this is serious....she has the loosest and wettest pussy I have ever fucked...which is fine, I love that it feels right from the start that she has been gb'd...but when we fuck... I am unable to last more than 45 sec to a couple of minutes max.

My impression is, you've found the ideal woman. She turns you on so intensively you're actually unable to restrain yourself from cumming almost immediately. Unfortunately, as you point out, this is not resulting in sexual satisfaction for her.

I suggest adopting alternative methods for bringing your woman to as many orgasms as she likes *before* "conventional intercourse" with your cock in her pussy. Become her cuntsucker, for instance, and *always* bring her to orgasm in that (or other) ways before proceeding further. See, for instance:

Cunnilingus: A How to Guide for Orally Stimulating the Vulva

and

The Fine Art of Queening

and/or

queens and kings-the_history_of_queening

If your woman takes to queening you and likes it, you might consider making it more comfortable (and sexy) for both of you by investing in a queening stool, as sold (for instance) on the "queensandkingswebsite."

I also suggest investing in a strapon dildo for your woman, and introducing her to fucking *you* up the ass for her pleasure. See, for instance:

Strap-On Sex - Femdom

A good DVD or VHS tape on this subject is "Bend Over Boy Friend;" a followup is "Bend Over Boy Friend 2." You can probably order them via Amazon, or obtain them from a sex shop in your town.

Your woman should be able to orgasm in this way if the two of you purchase a model that vibrates against her clit as she fucks you up the ass. Or, you could purchase a vibrating model with an attachment on the "opposite side" that fits in her pussy like a penis while she's fucking you up the ass.

Since your woman has a relatively large loose pussy, you might also consider bringing her to orgasm by sucking her cunt while simultaneously fisting her. The latter has to be done very gently and gradually, of course — especially at first — with *very* generous quantities of lube on your fingers and hand. A description of how to "fist" can be found (believe it or not) in Wikipedia.

Regardless of the technique or combination of techniques (preferably the latter) you adopt, when it comes to orgasms, always remember: ladies first!

Then, when your woman is satisfied — perhaps with multiple orgasms, if she is multi-orgasmic (find out!) — you can then fuck her "conventionally" and it won't matter if you cum in a short time. Perhaps by then she will even be relieved if you don't have to bang away at her for a long time before cumming.

As for your premature ejaculation problem.... you might be able to deal with it by going to a "legitimate" clinic for sexual problems. P.E. is very widespread and (as I understand it) is among the more-or-less standard problems men seek help for at such clinics.

Good luck!

—Custer

*Thanks, BTW, for posting your photos of your new woman friend. She looks hot.... very sensual. It isn't hard to see why you're so turned on by her.

 

[slinky67]

thanks custer

I do agree with a few things you have said. I guess some of the things that confuse me is...i lusted much more for my ex girlfriend....the sex was on the verge of magical with her and had the tightest pussy in the world...almost an out of body experience with her...so much so i cant even put it in words.

This one is more conservative, well was when we first met...she had 15 of so black bf's before she settled with her ex husband for 10 years...but i am yet to see her let loose sexually as she did as a teen. I have wondered now that the cuck thing is now feeding off itself...the more i feel that my cock isnt big enough to make her jerk, moan or anything really...no matter how hard i pound...i blow straight away...thus the more of a dud fuck i am...the more it feeds the inadequacy cuckold thing. The other week at dinner, we got talking about sex, and she said to me jokingly, that sometimes...fucking me is like fucking a 16yo boy, cause i get on, thrust uncontrollably and squirt. i laughed, but realised there is some truth to it as well...I have always been the one, where my ex's cant get enough of me and wanted to fuck over and over again...cause i could go for hours...yet for some reason...things have turned on me for some reason.
She doesnt really care that i blow within a minute or so, as i think it does something for her self esteem...but it is probably making an impact on my own.
she is open to strap on sex and is always happy with me giving head/rimming etc. i guess i am wondering if this has just happened with this girl cause of the different dynamic we have...the damage done by my ex that i loved to death and never knew anyone sexier...and then her running off with the muscly bodybuilder (and i assume he is hung as well beyond what i am, knowing her) or is it just a progression through life and does premature ejaculation just come about for any reason. The bit i don't understand is...people who do suffer from it, do so if the get to much friction or sensitivity...where i am getting the opposite...as in i can hardly feel any friction etc. yet cant control it. even if i masturbate....i used to be able to edge myself for hours and sometimes days....now, i might fondle or play with myself now and again in the middle of the night...and then realise i am going to cum without having any control over it at all, not even enough time to grab a tissue etc. ...so i'm fucked if i know why this has come about...anyone that has been thru something similar would help a lot with their insight!

Cheers

Slinky

 

[CuckdSissy]

ehm... that gal is twenty kinds of hawt... I think CL is onto something.

Things that have helped me in similar situations...
<> wear thick rubbers to lessen the sensation.
<> consider a chastity device... abstinence will help you focus
.. speaking of focus.. while in coitus.. you need to get your head out of the game a little.. perhaps... you're in deep subspace and you need to pull out a bit and focus on her.

V/R --K

 

[MasterTrainer7]

wow! with a smoking hott babe like that, I can't blame you for premature ejac.. I almost had a premature ejac. just looking at her pic! - just kidn.. but, really, when this starts happening it's because you're so turned on by her that you can't contain yourself.. I will tell you to try the natural approach first and if that doesn't work try the blue pill - viagara.. the natural approach is to think about something completely different when you're getting so hott and bothered that you may cum.. for example, once you feel you're getting close to ejac.. start thinking of race cars going around a track and visualize the track and all the cars going by - or think about a fast moving train passing in front of you and REALLy visualize that train going by fast in front of you.. what you're doing here is your're telling your mind to focus on something completely different that changes very quickly with each 1/2 second so your mind stays preoccupied for a few seconds on something that gets it away from the scene you're just having with your hott slut. If you have good mind control, it works everytime.. I know it does for me.. if not, then talk to your doc and see if you can get seom viagara.. this helps a lot with this problem, but you don't want to over do it.. just take one and then try having sex the next day without the pill.. it's better if you can do it naturally.

Good luck,

MT

 

[Saraha]

I agree with Custer on this one. He always gives advice.

After a painful previous relationship breakup, your body is so excited with a new woman in your life that your body "peaks out". Basically your body is giving her a complement of her sexiness - you are turned on !!!!!!!!

Your premature is a normal response to the great disappointment of losing your marriage. DON'T THINK SOMETHING IS WRONG WITH YOU. Your cock is working properly, all is well. Many guys in their 40's need viagra to get an erection.

The sexy clothing your new better half is wearing shows us all that she is adventurist in sex...........many men wish their wife was just like her.....some wives lie on their back and "dream of England", and don't wriggle their ass one little bit to help out.

 

[Custer Laststand]

Here's an alternative point of view.

Slinky,

I see you and I view your "problem" from two different perspectives. Yours appears to be: "Why do I ejaculate prematurely with my current woman, when that was not a problem with my previous women?" In my reply above, my perspective was: "Your premature ejaculations are a fact of life for you now; so what can you do to satisfy your current woman, in spite of that?"

Since I didn't connect too well with what you were asking (apparently), I'll try again but from (what appears to be) your perspective. The following is speculative, but for the sake of putting something forward I'll suggest your "problem" may be related to these comments in your initial post:

The issue is, and this is serious....she has the loosest and wettest pussy i have ever fucked...which is fine, i love that it feels right from the start that she has been gb'd...but when we fuck...i am unable to last more than 45 sec...couple of minutes max. ....etc.... does any one have any idea why this may have happened now in my life and only with this woman?

Your "problem" may also be related to your comment saying you want your current woman to cuckold you, and she is "cool" with that (as well as with some other things, like [I gather] being dominant in her relationship with you).

Is it possible, due to the above, that you assume subconsciously, on a sexual level — in part, because your woman's pussy always feels wet and, in essence, freshly-fucked — that she *is* freshly-fucked, and therefore you can't restrain yourself from depositing your own sperm as rapidly as possible, prior to her orgasm, so the probability of her being inseminated by *your* sperm (as opposed to the sperm of your hypothetical competitor) is maximized when *she* orgasms, soon thereafter?

If so, your subconscious "sperm wars" strategy is self-defeating if your woman does not orgasm after you cum in her pussy (because you ejaculated too soon, so the action is over). In other words, you are right to view your premature ejaculations as a problem, both from a reproductive point of view (if your woman indeed has sex with other men), and from the point of view that you are not satisfying her. The latter, of course, is potentially even more serious because — even if neither of you wants her to get pregnant, and she doesn't — not satisfying her could result in her leaving you for another man who is able to satisfy her. (Hence, the need for alternative strategies such as those I suggested in my first reply, above.)

To gain some insight into this, I suggest reading the review of:

“Sperm Wars: The Science of Sex,” by Robin Baker (New York: Basic Books, 1996, 319 pages), that can be found here:

Sperm Wars: The Science of Sex. - book reviews | Journal of Sex Research | Find Articles at BNET

The review is by Michael W. Wiederman, Ph.D. (Ball State University, Department of Psychological Science, Muncie, IN 47306). Note the following interesting excerpt from Wiederman’s review:

“The story does not stop there. Through experiments conducted in his lab, Baker found that timing of female orgasm during or around the occurrence of vaginal intercourse further affects the likelihood of fertilization. During female orgasm the woman's cervix dips and the opening to the cervix gapes open, much like an elephant's trunk while taking in water. If a seminal pool is present in the vagina at that point, a significant number of sperm will be helped along by this "up-suck" phenomenon. So, to maximize conception, a woman should experience an orgasm immediately after a man ejaculates. If the woman experiences orgasm when a seminal pool is not present, vaginal secretions are likely to be "sucked up," thereby increasing the acidity of the cervical environment. Accordingly, female orgasm prior to male ejaculation strengthens the cervical filter and reduces the likelihood of fertilization. In this context, Baker also discusses the role of nocturnal orgasms in women's sexuality.”

"Sperm Wars" is available via amazon.com . It looks quite interesting; I just ordered a used (but in good condition) copy; the hardcover price is modest. It's more modest still if you order it in paperback.

I don't think one's inclination to ejaculate sooner vs. later is primarily related to whether one's woman has a tight or loose pussy (if one doesn't have a physical problem that inhibits ejaculation), because "sex is mostly between your ears." Thus, it seems possible to me your premature ejaculation problem may be related to something like the above.

—Custer

 

[slinky67]

hmmm...i guess your right on a couple of levels

thanks guys for your responses...very helpful... i know its not a matter of life and death, but googling this prob...doesnt factor in cuckold tendencies, it only shows the medical angles of this....I suppose, i am trying to battle this out from a couple of different directions...with my ex...when she was naked...my heart would palpitate...and i would be rock hard...as hard as granite...i kid you not...and then be able to pound her within an inch of her life. She was 26yo...and a school teacher...but she would cuckold me in ways that weren't always above board... which hurt at times as well as turned me on.

This one, is much more dominant, much more honest, and has much more of an understanding of this lifestyle...so i do respect her on a lot more levels i guess, but possibly don't love her as deeply as i did my ex.
I'm not too sure if i need viagra...erections are no problem...but entering my ex...would make her back arch and head drop back...this one seems as an analogy...entering her is like falling in a pool of warm water....and seems my cock just swims around in her...if you get what i mean.

So...the bit i have to figure out is... her vagina is obviously going to feel like this for ever...my cock is never going to get thicker....so trying not to be overly turned on by this sensation is going to be very hard...especially when being a cuckold is your major fetish...and being too small for your woman adds to it...i just have never experienced it in real life. Plenty of role playing of it...but never dealt with it for real...and thus never had to deal with cumming too soon....even five minutes from start to end...would suffice for now...but anything under a minute...rates for an adult male as pathetic...and then helps feed the inadequate cuckold feelings.

And thanks for the compliments on her...she had no idea how to be sexy when we met...her ex fucked her up...but for those who think its impossible...its not...it does take time and understanding...but i believe any girl will let the genie out of the bottle...if supported, encouraged the right way...and then accept her when she does start to make that shift.

 

[bibottomhubby2bbwslut]

Don't forget that a lot of sex is mental, and our bodies' reactions don't always "match" what we expect them to be. In your case I think the combination of your new girlfriend's acceptance of and interest in cuckoldry, combined with her looser, just-fucked-feeling pussy, are making you lose control. I think your choice is whether to explore ways to fight your body's natural reaction to orgasm quickly, or to go along with it and maybe make it a part of the whole cuckold fantasy. There are techniques you could work on to control premature ejaculation. However, if she's not too put off by it and it's not too much of a mind fuck for you, playing with the whole idea that you are coming too fast and she needs a stud with more stamina to fulfill her needs could be fun. Another area to consider is that you might still be hung up a bit on your ex and thoughts of her with another man are making it difficult for you to maintain your control. It's also possible this situation will work itself out on its own as you become more comfortable with your new lady.

I don't think it's anything too serious at this point, and probably shouldn't be TOO much of a concern for you unless it continues for too long without you wanting it to. However, on the off chance that there might be something physical going on, I would suggest having a medical checkup if you haven't had one recently, just in case.

 

[slinky67]

yeah possibly

I must admit...being a cuck...i have visualised my ex being fucked endlessly...i was never able to cum in her cause she couldn't be on the pill...and knowing she is pregnant to another guy and visualising him cumming in her over and over again...first to get her pregnant and over the last 9 months etc. and not me even though we had talked a lot about having a child has done a bit of damage i guess, even the fact that he is twice my size physically, would definiteley be hung, and ultimately successfully seeded her with i guess in cuckold world...his sperm hit the spot in the end and mine never got close...ie: he took in 4 months of knowing her to get her there...what i couldn't give her in 3 years...so i guess it has had an impact.

my new girl so far has been cool with me cumming way too soon...she will even whisper dirty things as soon as i enter her...or push her finger in my arse straight away knowing i wont be able to not cum...and then lay there and giggle away as i lay on top of her trying to get my breath back...so she is totally cool with it for now...and i have always loved to play along with it when it has happened by accident...only now...i have absolutely no control over it...which is pissing me off...not having control over my body function...is not where i thought i would be.

Just the same...i guess...i will play along with it for now...try and try and try to not think of my ex be fucked and knocked up by her guy...and see what i can do from there...just everything i do or think at the moment seems out of my control...which i'm not a fan of to be honest with you.

 

[pook]

Zoloft.

Zoloft. Go to your doc, tell him you're mildly depressed, and get a script for Zoloft. After a few days on that stuff you will have to work for an hour to get off once. And the second time could take forever..

Check it out.

 

[Custer Laststand]

Slinky,

Re.:

only now...i have absolutely no control over [my premature ejaculations]...which is pissing me off...not having control over my body function...is not where i thought i would be. ... etc... just everything i do or think at the moment seems out of my control...which i'm not a fan of to be honest with you.

See Wikipedia:

Selective serotonin reuptake inhibitor - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

and note the first paragraph:

"Selective serotonin reuptake inhibitors or serotonin-specific reuptake inhibitor: (SSRIs) are a class of compounds typically used as antidepressants in the treatment of depression, anxiety disorders, and some personality disorders. They are also typically effective and used in treating premature ejaculation problems as well as some cases of insomnia."

I would not suggest lying to a physician and telling him (/her) you have a problem with depression, though. That could result in a bad outcome.... like, your physician prescribing something for depression that has no effect on libido, out of misplaced concern you don't want your ejaculations inhibited.

Rather, I suggest telling your physician in a straightforward way you have a problem with premature ejaculation, and you understand selective serotonin reuptake inhibitor (SSRI) may be helpful for that.... what are his (/her) thoughts on it? Presumably he (/she) would write you a prescription, if in agreement, or suggest an alternative if he (/she) is aware of something better.

—Custer

 

[Custer Laststand]

Slinky,

Regarding one of your earlier comments:

My current gal is keen on the cuckolding lifestyle, she was in a sexless marriage for 10 years, and swears that will never happen again. She is cool with me being bi... and a cuckold... and being submissive to her, etc.

and your more recent comment:

.... My new girl so far has been cool with me cumming way too soon. She will even whisper dirty things as soon as I enter her.... or push her finger in my arse straight away, knowing I won't be able to keep from cumming.... then, lay there and giggle away as I lay on top of her trying to get my breath back. So, she is totally cool with it for now.

This suggests you can probably use your premature ejaculations as an aide to persuading your sexy woman to cuckold you. That is, tell her softly, when you are in bed with her, that you know you aren't lasting long enough to satisfy her, so you hope she'll seek pleasure with other men because you're sure there are others "out there" who will be longer-lasting and more capable of satisfying her.... etc. Also, I suggest encouraging her to continue teasing you about your premature ejaculations — she has the right idea here. It may be helpful if you let her know you appreciate her taking pleasure in her ability to control your ejaculations at her whim, thus "being in control" of you sexually.

At the same time, your comment (above) suggests an obvious way for your woman, whom you mentioned you would like to dominate you in the bedroom, to attain satisfaction while you do also. As I suggested above, persuade her to purchase a vibrating strapon dildo (but you pay for it), then use it to fuck you up the ass until she orgasms. Then, or whenever she wants to, she can reach around under your belly and masturbate your cock until you cum.... which would presumably happen rapidly, due to your anal sensitivity you mentioned. I.e., in this fashion she could satisfy herself, satisfy you, and increase her confidence in her ability to dominate you in the bedroom — thus increasing her confidence in her ability to successfully make you her cuckold.

But to avoid losing your woman to another man, with respect to her vis-a-vis your orgasms (per my comment above), always remember: ladies first!

—Custer

 

[slinky67]

ok

ok...well...we sat and chatted about it last night...and this is what we came up with. Firstly, as she was not wrapped in the thought of being too loose and admitted she wasn’t feeling great about possibly being the cause of our mismatched fit...she is just starting to feel good about her very slutty past which I have encouraged to talk about...and was worried that was the cause of our problem...so to prove its not her I explained the unofficial thickness test....i googled it for her to show i wasnt making it up and we did the famous toilet roll test...and it was obviously no shock to myself...that it was a fairly loose fit. With that... she laughed hysterically as she slid the tube up and down without any resistance at all...and said “I knew it wasn’t me...no other guy has ever complained about me being loose”...so after that and reading the googled articles...they referred to the term needle dick often...and so she feels she feels better if she uses that term when the topic arises...to clear her mind she isnt at fault...which I was more than cool with.

As far as the cumming too quick...we have decided for now to just run with it...and turn it into a positive. And if it doesn’t come good over the next few months may take it further...on a medical level.

 

[tpeman]

you're cumming, that's good enough. Just consider that you are turned on by her, extremely. Fuck her a 2nd time within the hour.

 

[Bradley]

slinky

By no means is this the kind of good advice that Custer gives out, but I think I would play up the fast ejaculation thing. I mean girls do like that. Imagine if your girl came as soon as you could get a finger on her. What would be hotter than that? So, it is a huge kick when a guy comes straight away. It's a good sign that she likes it too, that she is teasing you for it & making it worse. Do you still stay hard, can you give her another go? Can you make her cum in other ways?

 

[slinky67]

well sort of

i can give her orgasms in other way...she loves being rimmed while masturbating herself to climax. As far as myself...no...i have never been able to cum more than once...but that was never a problem before cause i could go for hours on end...stop...once she recovered and fuck like a stallion for a couple more hours...by the end of it...with the extra time to build up my cum reserves and possibly edging myself for days before hand...the amount of semen i could squirt was sometimes insane...i'm not joking...girls would be in hysterics over the huge amount i could cum....now between not being able to edge myself at all anymore and cumming within a minute of so...the amount is sort of embarrasing as well in my eyes, compared what i was capable of.
I guess, what i was wondering in all of this..was is this possibly a change in life body wise for me...is it a sub state i am entering on a subconcious level...is it realisation i am inadequate to fill this girl pussy properly and this is playing on my humiliation fetish...is this me from here on...a prem ejaculator and just learn to live with it and add this to our sexlife???
i guess i was wondering others fell into one of these at a mid 40 age and is it a change of life thing or partner thing?

 

[Custer Laststand]

Lifelong cuck,

This is the first time I've ever heard this term, Queening but a short tale about the first time I was ever subjected to this by my wife. ....etc.... She lost her temper and grabbed a handful of hair, went astride my face and told me to taste who had just fucked her. She said how good it had been to be fucked by a real man who made her cum, all the while now riding my face as she held my head tight by the hair, she screamed at me to suck his cum out of her cunt, to taste what a real man's cum tastes like and to learn she fucked other men because they made her feel like a woman and made her feel satisfied. With both hands full of hair she was rubbing her cunt harder and harder into my face, then she shuddered to a stop, sat back on my chest with her cunt pressed tight to my lips, shuddered a few more times, then said of God that was good, that's the first real orgasm you've ever given me. At this point she gingerly dismounted me and lay down beside me, she calmly told me who had fucked her and how many times, then said how much she'd enjoyed herself with both of us and how she was going to use me like that again and how it had turned her on to feed her lovers cum to me.

That's very cool. So, from then on did your wife queen you regularly after fucking her lovers — and if so, did that become the basis of your sexual relationship with her, since it was a way.... perhaps *the* way.... you could give her orgasms, while simultaneously acknowledging, in the most physical way possible, her right to date and fuck other men while also demonstrating your acceptance of her sexual domination and humiliation of you?

—Custer

 

[lifelong cuck]

Would be nice

Lifelong cuck,



That's very cool. So, from then on did your wife queen you regularly after fucking her lovers — and if so, did that become the basis of your sexual relationship with her, since it was a way.... perhaps *the* way.... you could give her orgasms, while simultaneously acknowledging, in the most physical way possible, her right to date and fuck other men while also demonstrating your acceptance of her sexual domination and humiliation of you?

—Custer

Unfortunately no, while there were one or two occasions where she did subject me to 'Queening' they were very few and far between. Most of my wife's strong sexual interaction with me was fuelled by drink and/or temper. Most of the time my wife chose to dominate me through silence and withdrawal of all sexual favors from me while fucking any guy she fancied. Only rarely and most of that much later, did she ever allow me to be present while she got fucked. For many years she would just tell me it was time for bed so she could have her pleasures with whoever she'd brought home or she'd take him to the guest room and leave me to do as I wished.

The other more cruel domination was how her comments would take all self confidence from me and leave me feeling I was sexually inadequate.