Resistance - is it futile?

[desert]

So now i have to ask something, and curious as to what Custer has to say. This guy likes stretching the limits. Some claim they are ******. I myself just go with the flow but he is in a better position than me. For anyone especially who claims they are ****** I have to ask a big question. Who in the relationship decides where the line is drawn? And where is that line drawn? I am not understanding how one can be ****** and yet set the boundries..can someone clue me in?

 

[Custer Laststand]

OneForSure,

Thank you for the comments.

You're welcome....

Much of the excitement comes from stretching a bit beyond what is comfortable. It becomes exciting. ....

.... often the response I get [from my wife] is either "I haven't decided" or "If you're asking, you must really want to explore this area."

Hm.... sounds like you do, in fact, have some desires to explore this area. Maybe you should, after all, consider introducing your wife to

Femme your hubby #1

although not too obviously, of course. You will need to find a way to make her aware of it, perhaps indirectly (if she isn't already). Note the author points out that a married woman pursuing this course can, of course, stop at whatever point she likes....

Perhaps if I set a limit, like wearing a bra at a time that would cause a lot of embarassment - like to dinner with friends or to work.

Sure.... go for it.

I enjoy stretching a bit, just not too much.

Perhaps you could condition yourself consciously to adopt the view that while continuing to feel some underlying anxiety, which will fuel your background hard-to-resist feelings of erotic attraction to this idea, you will simultaneously accept your wife's guidance and assume she will proceed in the ways that are best for you and for your relationship with her. Trusting your wife to guide you could have the effect of relieving you of responsibility, thereby reducing your anxiety. Make it a New Year's resolution....

On that note, I'll wish you and your dominant sexy wife a Happy New Year in advance — and will look forward to hearing back from you when you wear your first dress.

—Custer

 

[cuckoldax]

Custer you're quite the pyschoanalyst. Heres a question to wrap your mind around..... why dont you take all that "knowledge" of yours Custer and find a job...instead of posting shitty comments at 2 o'clock in the afternoon..

 

[OneForSure]

Thank you Custer

Custer,
Thank you for your comments. They are appreciated, and thoughtful. Please do not even honor the negative posts with a reply. It's not worth it.

I have used the klink, and will consider showing my wife, but I am really not trying to push her in that direction. She's headed there in spite of what I want.

 

[racquel]

transition

Custer,
Thank you for your comments. They are appreciated, and thoughtful. Please do not even honor the negative posts with a reply. It's not worth it.

I have used the klink, and will consider showing my wife, but I am really not trying to push her in that direction. She's headed there in spite of what I want.

As a life long cross-dresser with an understanding and accepting wife I would encourage you to take this oppertunity to fully explore this aspect of your personality. You know you want to or it would not be open for discussion. If your wife wants you to be her girlfriend then sister I encourage you to throw away your boxers immedietly and you will never regret it I promise.
I also agree with you about Custer,he is indeed thoughtful and a real asset to this forum and cuckoldax is an ass.

 

[Custer Laststand]

Desert,

So now I have to ask something, and I'm curious as to what Custer has to say. This guy likes stretching the limits. Some claim they are ******. I myself just go with the flow, but he is in a better position than me. For anyone especially who claims they are ****** I have to ask a big question. Who in the relationship decides where the line is drawn?

I don't have a good answer to your question, in part because it's very broad. You seem to be seeking an answer that would apply to all couples where one takes the lead and "forces" the other to perform humiliating erotic and/or sexual acts, or behave in humiliating ways, or accept humiliating behavior, or some combination of these things, that the other partner apparently does not want.

So, I'll take a guess. My "seemingly reasonable" starting assumption is, the partner who takes the lead is the one who tends to be more dominant in the relationship. This tends to be the partner who is more assertive, forceful and outgoing. Given this, I suspect the more submissive partner who acquiesces in being "******" to engage in humiliating sexual and/or erotic behaviors does so because he or she secretly wants to do those things.... but would not do them without being "******," for fear of being laughed at, viewed contemptuously, or rejected by the more dominant partner. This fear stems from the socially unacceptable or taboo nature of these behaviors. This risk disappears, however, if the more submissive partner is ordered or "******" to engage in these behaviors by the more dominant partner, because then he or she is doing what the more dominant partner wants.

And where is that line drawn? I do not understand how one can be ****** and yet set the boundaries.... can someone clue me in?

I suspect there's no simple answer to this question. It depends on the nature of the partners, the ways in which they interact with one another ("synergy"), and the ways in which the responses of one to the actions of the other form positive or negative feedback loops. By "positive feedback loop" I mean an interaction that tends to be self-reinforcing. By "negative feedback loop" I mean an interaction that tends to be self-damping. The answer to your question, in other words, is probably a function of the individuals themselves.

—Custer