Seems like a lot of people are having an issue logging into chat since we updated. Here is what you need to do: Logout of the chat and forums, clear your cache and cookies. Log back in to the forum, then login to the chat with the same user/pass you use for the forums.
Excellent, well written story. Glad to see a new author! If you're worried about a story being too long feel free to use the chapters option. Imo, there's no such thing as 'too long' when it comes to storytelling