Curious Wife

[Alexis]

Excellent!

I hadn't seen this thread either.

So, how do you plan to do this? Go on tell!

My story posted on another thread might help your situation or it may not.

I have definitely decided that the best way for me, knowing my husband as well as I do, is to pursue the size issue.

 

[Alexis]

Hi Ms. Cucktail,

This post is in response to Ms. Lexxi’s request that I comment on your post # 95, of 21 July 2010, above.



This is excellent. The more married women post in forums like this expressing their desires to cuckold their husbands, and the strategies they have employed to successfully bring this about with full acquiescence and acknowledgment by their husbands of their need to fuck other men while married, the more the feeling will spread among women that it’s not only acceptable but desirable to express their sexuality to the fullest, and recognize they’re capable of being much more sexual (in many if not most cases), and certainly much more orgasmic, than their husbands.



There's nothing wrong with being a serious student. Working hard and taking your work seriously, when you’re a student and later when you have a job or profession, is the way you “get ahead” (as it’s called) and reach your goals. Your “active social life” and “guys looking your way” during your student days suggests you had… and still have, no doubt… an outgoing personality and a willingness to engage in at least “light” flirting during your daily conversations with men. These personality characteristics almost certainly are standing you in good stead now that you’re a married women who takes lovers.



Losing weight is primarily a matter of eating less, while paying attention to maintaining good nutrition. Regular exercise is desirable… essential, actually… but from the point of view of weight loss, it’s secondary. (Maybe you know this by now.)



Very good. You’re a fortunate woman.



So far, so good. It sounds like you were a “well adjusted” if conventional married woman.



Oh, oh… trouble in paradise. A cloud on the horizon.



That was a VERY bold beginning. You took the bull by the horns (perhaps I should say, your husband by his cock) and you scored, big time. It’s my impression that most married women who want to expand their sexual horizons don’t have enough nerve to do that, or anything like it, and thus remain in a state of frustrated indecision re. how to proceed.



Excellent! It seems hard to imagine a better approach.



I’ll assume by “that” you mean specific unconventional or “somewhat dirty” sex acts, rather than involving others in your sexual encounters with your husband in a generic sense (the latter being your constant underlying theme). In any case, your approach shows high-level psychological insight. Always talking dirty to him during sex thus moving him just a little bit further forward each time was clearly effective. It’s hard to see how you could have moved him forward if the two of you always remained silent while fucking.





This too was a bold as well as essential key step on your part. Clearly, you were driving your husband’s transition toward acceptance of becoming your cuckold. When he said “yes,” you obviously knew you had succeeded. I would suggest, though, that your journey began (arguably) when you first spread your ass and told your husband “you’d like a big black cock in it right now”… then realized that statement turned him on.



How long, Ms. Cucktail, did it take to make the transition from “playing” with other couples with both of you participating more-or-less equally, to you fucking other men in front of your husband while he watched (mostly)?



Yes, of course, and properly so.



I think this is the classic pattern among couples who become swingers. The wife soon finds there are lots of men she can fuck as a married woman, while the husband finds there aren’t nearly as many “available” women who want to have sex with him as a married man. I gather it’s hard for “available” women to see what’s in it for them, unless the married man is really exceptional.




That sounds like a practical way to handle it.



VERY good. Your husband clearly understands and accepts his role as your cuckold. When you started your cuckold-to-be down this road, this is where you wanted to end up with him, and this is where Ms. Lexxi wants to end up with her cuckold-to-be.



There appears to be no doubt you are a “conventional, frustrated wife to satisfied cuckoldress” success story. Your account is inspirational, in the sense it provides Ms. Lexxi — as well as other women who may read this thread — with a road man that may, potentially, work for her (and them).



THANK YOU, Ms. Cucktail, for providing this valuable guidance to Ms. Lexxi on the art of transforming a husband, who expects his wife to remain faithful, to a cuckold who accepts that it is his wife’s privilege and prerogative to date and fuck whomever she wishes, while he remains faithful to her (or engages only in conditional extramarital sex, in your case, requiring your permission).

—Custer

Thank you Custer for honoring my request to break down cucktail's excellent post in a way that only you can do.

 

[Alexis]

So Lexxi...tell us your most likely plan of action for meeting your first very-well-hung Black lover,and cuckolding your so-far unsuspecting hubby. I'm very interested in what you're leaning towards...

I am going for the "size" thing. I really do think that is my best bet in my situation.

 

[Alexis]

Custer,

I'm not as adept at the "quoting" yet as you are ... so I'll answer your questions as best I can without referencing your statements.

1) How long did it take for to transition from couples to him watches me primarily with other men?

Well that is really still ongoing. We still prefer to swing with couples. But getting four people's schedules to match, as well as four people with chemistry, is sometimes difficult. But as you pointed out, it is alot easier to find a "single man willing toplay with a married woman". We were with our first couple in August 2008. We'd love to be able to play much more than we do .... but our life limits us somewhat ... so when we do play we like to take full advantage.

Our first experience with my husband just watching occured in the spring of 2009. We were at a party, but then we all headed out to a club to dance and whatnot. We thought that this would be a night where nothing happened (they do occur ..lol). After the club closed, we all jumped in cabs. We thought we were just dropping people off and going home, but everyone wanted to keep drinking and having a good time so we went into our friends place for a nightcap. We were relatively new withthis crowd and when people started pairing up, all the was left was hubby, me and two guys. Hubby started to undress me, and then the two guys came over and started to help him ... to my astonishment, hubby back away and sat on the end of the couch and watch me with these two guys.

I hope this answers the question

2) I was never a frustrated wife ... and some here would say he isn't a cuckold at all. I'll let others decide that for themselves, but we are happy and comfortable with what we have .....

No one seems to be as adept as Custer when it comes to breaking down every thought in a post.

I would like to thank you, Cucktail, for your valuable insight into this lifestyle.The more I read, the more I feel like "I can do this!".

 

[Alexis]

Lexi,

Wow! Just read your thread and I'd love to comment in a number of ways, but I'll try to withhold myself somwhat.

First, as near as I can tell I'm the only BBC commenting on the thread - personally I've provided guidance and "coaching" to nearly two dozen couples who've started from where you are - to the ultimate conclusion of hubby looking at that glistening black cock being withdrawn from his wifes freshly fucked pussy leaking the seed of her first black lover.

I can direct you to threads of my own adventures on dark cavern forms if your interested - I post there under the same screen name. But I digress.

My personal preference is to play with submissive couples where I can "train" the couple to serve BBC. In some cases the hubby is an observer, in most he is a participant by being humiliated and/or dominanted.

Had I not just discovered your thread today - I'd be in a conversation about meeting you in Las Vegas!
Vega - what an opportunity! You have the chance to say hubby - were in Vegas - we could do anything here! Press any limits...what should we do? He of coures will still never suggest you go fuck a black guy - but you could open this door in a big way.
You could ask him - do you ever get jealous - (then point out that either you've never seen it, or it's erotic when you've seen him do it).

You could tell him that you want to experiment with making him jealous...then go have sex (with him)...where he can "show you his jealousy" and release his energy...that is a very addictive energy and feeling.
I'm sure you can get him to play with this idea - even if reluctantly.
After you get a few drinks in him at a club...you can have him sit and watch you as you go flirt and dance. This will be an EXCELLENT gauge of what your likely to encounter in leading him down this road.

That should be more than enough to get you started...if things go VERY well....you will know how to manage him from there.

By the way- in your thread I don't think you said where your from? I have not checked your profile, so if it's there - I apologize.

I'm enjoying your thread.

Now this post.....has made me wet.

 

[Alexis]

Hi Ms. Lexxi,

Only 4 more days until your trip to Las Vegas with your cuckold-in-waiting. I hope you're implementing the crucially-important strategy pointed out (in effect) by Ms. Cucktail... that is, *talking suggestively* (or "dirty," if you prefer) with him, when the two of you are in bed together, while holding his wienie and balls in (preferably) both hands.

For good commentary on the importance of conversation in guiding your cuckold-in-waiting, I suggest reading (if you haven't already) or reviewing (if you have):

Real Women Don't Do Housework

The clock is running...

—Custer

I am very upset that we won't be going to Vegas, but even though I will miss out on some wonderful opportunities I had planned, this kind of makes me more determined than ever to get into this lifestyle.

 

[Alexis]

Hi Ms. Lexxi,

A website on female/male relationships that used to be maintained by Dr. Cherry Lee and her associate, Dr. Ronnie West (both pseudonyms), but was discontinued after Ms. Lee said it was using up too much of her time, has been re-constituted here:

Index Page for Modern Directions

It includes a large section on "cuckold husband / hotwife" marriages and LTRs, including white married women fucking black lovers and other interracial (IR) sex. I strongly recommend it. It's directly relevant to the form of marriage you want to lead your husband to (by his penis), and has the advantages of being very sane and well-written. I.e., it's neither crude nor pornographic.

One of the letters on this site, from an e-mail received from a white married woman who fucks black lovers, was in a situation that seems quite analogous to yours when she first started... except instead of telling her black colleague "she couldn't fuck him because of her marriage," she went ahead and fucked him (at a time when she was pissed off at her husband). He then accepted her need to do that. It can be found here:

My Husband vs. My Lovers

It's one I happened to notice today. Please note, however, there are many letters on this site that are relevant to your "problem," in addition to being quite erotic.

I encourage you to continue turning yourself on by thinking about fucking black men, and to continue planning, and to continue observing your husband's responses, and to continue taking into account the feedback he gives you (often, perhaps, unknowingly), and to modify your directions accordingly in order to keep him moving forward, always. I hope you've begun to take action by now, and will soon provide us with a draft of your plan of action...

Lasciviously —

Custer

Your comments, and the links you provide are very helpful and informative to me. Keep them coming!

I do still get very turned on thinking of black men, but my recent plans to initiate my hubby all centered around our trip to Vegas.

I will have to come up with a new way of initially approaching him, but I still feel my best bet is with the size vs. SIZE thing.

 

[Alexis]

Tell him you're bi-curious and would like to kiss a girl. You're better off telling him this and being up-front about it. He may even be into it and encourage you to go and explore.

I'm wondering where this came from. It does bring back a memory though, but that's another story.

 

[Alexis]

Let me say one thing. When I talk about using the size thing, what I essentially mean is,

I would refer to things in the following manner...

I would say something about someone having a big dick,
not about him having a small one.

I would refer to someone as big,
NOT bigger.

I would ASK about size,
not TELL about size.

Although I really do fantasize about having a sissy cuck husband, as many of you have stated, HE needs to be into it too. So, my goal here is to see if I can somehow find a way to get him to that point, but if it's 100% not in the cards for that to happen, I will be more than happy if I can just find a way to get some BIG BLACK DICK without ruining my marriage.

 

[Custer Laststand]

Hi Ms. Lexxi,

Your comments (below) bring to mind a web site you can use to have a lot of fun with your cuckold-in-waiting. If you haven't done anything like this before, you might think of it as his first exercise or learning experience in "small penis humiliation" by his wife (you).

Let me say one thing. When I talk about using the size thing, what I essentially mean is, I would say something about someone having a big dick, not about him having a small one. I would refer to someone as big, NOT bigger. I would ASK about size, not TELL about size. ... etc ...

Go to:

The Visualiser - The Cock Comparison site

It's an interactive site where you can enter the dimensions of your cuckold-to-be's cock, then compare it in various ways to the cocks of other men, expressed as statistical distributions, drawings (and possibly photos).

The home page has two "sides" you can enter: one for women, the other for men. I suggest trying it out yourself first (make up some numbers if you don't know his exact length and "girth" [circumference]), so you can play around with the site and get used to using it. You might try the women's side first (for yourself), then also try the men's side (which might be more suitable for your cuckold-in-waiting).

Then, tell him... with a slight look of mischief on your face... you found a fun web site you'd like to try out with him. You'll need to be prepared to give him a hand job (or whatever you normally do to get him hard), and you'll need a tape measure for measuring his cock.

Afterwards, it will be impossible for him to not realize (it sounds like, from what you've said) that his cock is well down on the "small" end of the spectrum... and you won't have to tell him that. It will be obvious. You can conclude the exercise, possibly, by teasing him about "what a cute little pee-pee" he has, as you kiss him to let him know you think it's really cute.

—Custer

 

[Saraha]

When you can milk your husband's secret fantasies out of him without passing judgement on what they turn out to be, he may want to know what yours are, and then you can negotiate on helping each other turn dreams into reality.

 

[sptbj2]

When you can milk your husband's secret fantasies out of him without passing judgment on what they turn out to be, he may want to know what yours are, and then you can negotiate on helping each other turn dreams into reality.

Saraha is very wise and often posts very good advice. I know that I am very eager to help my wife's fantasies come true as well as share my fantasies with her. A little communication goes a long way. You might be surprised that you and your husband share many fantasies. Just talk with him.

 

[Jaxunman]

Let me say one thing. When I talk about using the size thing, what I essentially mean is,

I would refer to things in the following manner...

I would say something about someone having a big dick,
not about him having a small one.

I would refer to someone as big,
NOT bigger.

I would ASK about size,
not TELL about size.

Although I really do fantasize about having a sissy cuck husband, as many of you have stated, HE needs to be into it too. So, my goal here is to see if I can somehow find a way to get him to that point, but if it's 100% not in the cards for that to happen, I will be more than happy if I can just find a way to get some BIG BLACK DICK without ruining my marriage.

Lexxi, this sounds reasonable. Just remember, that once the communication with your husband starts and you two actually begin to open up to each other, you still may not get everything you desire. But all is not lost. Barriers can create tension, a good tension, in both of you. Small barriers explored TOGETHER and overcome together are very satisfying. For lack of a better example, many people "win" when playing the lottery without ever winning the jackpot prize. While your husband may eventually be ok with sharing you with others, he may never agree to humiliation, chastity, or emasculation. Wouldn't you consider that a win? If he wanted to be present and simply watching quietly when you were with others, rather than you dating others alone, would that not still allow you to fulfill your desire for bigger men?

I applaud your decision to not simply cheat. I think you would have found it to be a cold and empty way to achieve your fantasy of BBC. By taking this slower approach and including your husband, while maybe not getting everything you want, it will make the fantasies that come to reality much more satisfying.

 

[Alexis]

Hi Ms. Lexxi,

Your comments (below) bring to mind a web site you can use to have a lot of fun with your cuckold-in-waiting. If you haven't done anything like this before, you might think of it as his first exercise or learning experience in "small penis humiliation" by his wife (you).



Go to:

The Visualiser - The Cock Comparison site

It's an interactive site where you can enter the dimensions of your cuckold-to-be's cock, then compare it in various ways to the cocks of other men, expressed as statistical distributions, drawings (and possibly photos).

The home page has two "sides" you can enter: one for women, the other for men. I suggest trying it out yourself first (make up some numbers if you don't know his exact length and "girth" [circumference]), so you can play around with the site and get used to using it. You might try the women's side first (for yourself), then also try the men's side (which might be more suitable for your cuckold-in-waiting).

Then, tell him... with a slight look of mischief on your face... you found a fun web site you'd like to try out with him. You'll need to be prepared to give him a hand job (or whatever you normally do to get him hard), and you'll need a tape measure for measuring his cock.

Afterwards, it will be impossible for him to not realize (it sounds like, from what you've said) that his cock is well down on the "small" end of the spectrum... and you won't have to tell him that. It will be obvious. You can conclude the exercise, possibly, by teasing him about "what a cute little pee-pee" he has, as you kiss him to let him know you think it's really cute.

—Custer

I checked out this site. I have to be honest. My husband and I don't really talk that much about sex...OK we don't hardly talk at all about it.

I would have a problem just coming out and bringing up a "sexually oriented " site I saw on the internet.

The lack of communication on our part is why it's been so hard to bring anything about this lifestyle up with him.

By the way...very cool site.

 

[Alexis]

When you can milk your husband's secret fantasies out of him without passing judgement on what they turn out to be, he may want to know what yours are, and then you can negotiate on helping each other turn dreams into reality.

This is interesting, and probably very true. The key word is "when". That's what I'm working on.

 

[Alexis]

Saraha is very wise and often posts very good advice. I know that I am very eager to help my wife's fantasies come true as well as share my fantasies with her. A little communication goes a long way. You might be surprised that you and your husband share many fantasies. Just talk with him.

So, in your case, how did you START talking about sexual fantasies? Am I, or better still, are we wierd because we don't really talk about sex that much?

 

[Alexis]

Lexxi, this sounds reasonable. Just remember, that once the communication with your husband starts and you two actually begin to open up to each other, you still may not get everything you desire. But all is not lost. Barriers can create tension, a good tension, in both of you. Small barriers explored TOGETHER and overcome together are very satisfying. For lack of a better example, many people "win" when playing the lottery without ever winning the jackpot prize. While your husband may eventually be ok with sharing you with others, he may never agree to humiliation, chastity, or emasculation. Wouldn't you consider that a win? If he wanted to be present and simply watching quietly when you were with others, rather than you dating others alone, would that not still allow you to fulfill your desire for bigger men?

I applaud your decision to not simply cheat. I think you would have found it to be a cold and empty way to achieve your fantasy of BBC. By taking this slower approach and including your husband, while maybe not getting everything you want, it will make the fantasies that come to reality much more satisfying.

Thanks so much for your post. I am very happy I didn't cheat...not quite my style I don't think. I realize I probably won't get "everything I want", but if I just get to have sex with a black guy without severely hurting my marriage, that would certainly be enough for me. The rest of my fantasies about this lifestyle would just be icing on the cake, but very probably won't happen.

 

[Alexis]

Many of you have made mention of the need for communicating, sharing fantasies and talking openly about sex with each other.

One thing I've realized since I started posting here, reading your replies, talking via PM's and reading through other threads, is that my husband and I "REALLY SUCK' at that.

I cannot recall a time when we really even talked about sex other than when we were first starting out with it. It was just a matter of "no, not like that", or "that's it, just like that". Since we got "familiar" with each other in bed, I really don't think we've brought up sex in conversation at all. We just "have it".

I don't know if it's because we were both inexperienced and therefore maybe "embarrassed" about talking about it, or if it was something else, but this has to change if I'm ever going to succeed in entering this lifestyle.

One of the reasons I have not brought up the "size" thing is. quite frankly, I really don't know how to begin. Talking about sex at all is something we just don't do.

I think the best thing for me, rather than to keep trying to figure out a way to bring up the size thing, is to figure out a way to just bring up the subject of sex and go from there.

Somethimg like..."Honey, we never seem to talk about our sex life. Are you still as satisfied now as you were when we first started making love."?

And then maybe something like..."or are there some things that are growing old or you're getting bored with"?

Also maybe..."is there anything new you have been thinking about"?

I can bring up questions like these very romantically, rather than threateningly, and also, these type of questions, no matter how he answers, also demand a response from him of "what about you"?

Let me know what you think.

 

[slaved]

Sit down with your husband. Kiss him. Make out with him. Turn him on. Then whisper in his ear that exchanging sexual fantasies and things you'd both like to do sexually turns you on. You should start and start with something tame (at least tame in comparison to screwing other men) Get him to open up a little and tell you a few things and work your way up. Ask him if he ever thinks about fucking other women...maybe if he has a sexual crush on Meagan Fox? If you can get him to say something like that you can tell him about your thing for Will Smith (or someone) Work your way up to "i've always wanted to fuck a black guy"

Dunno about your husband but my wife could get me to talk about just about anything under those circumstances.

 

[jojo4017]

Lucky guy, your husband that is. How hot to have a wife that loves you but is planning to turn him into a cuck and he hasn't a clue. You will succeed if you do it right and he will enjoy it. My wife has lost her sex drive and it is frustrating for me, I still think she is so hot. Good luck.