rudder said:I have been really busy. We had a talk, and subsequently I was invited to a July 4th party at "his" house.
Sounds like your talk with your wife did not result in hostility.
rudder said:I did ask her about him, but I did not ask her directly if they were having sex... I know they are. Don't you think she should tell me?
Yes. A way to bring it out might be to simply act in accordance with your knowledge that your wife is having an affair, without treating it as any big deal. For instance, whenever she comes home, ask her how it's going with her boyfriend. Tease her about being so hot she has to go outside her marriage to find sexual satisfaction. Ask her how good he is in bed, and whether she has multiple orgasms with him — etc. Use your imagination. Treat it as something married women do.... especially attractive married women like your wife.... so of course you expect her to have a lover.
rudder said:No, she's not pregnant.
At the risk of mentioning the obvious: if, at some point, you and your wife decide to have children, the two of you will definitely need to talk about her extramarital sex, since she will then need to go off birth control.
rudder said:My wife has a degree in kinesiology. She works for a sports team. Her job is seasonal.
That sounds consistent with what you've said about her athletic abilities. Thanks for clarifying that.
rudder said:My wife cleans the house as well.
OK.
rudder said:I am a workaholic, and I love pampering her.
Apparently it's not too unusual for men whose work is high-stress and involves a lot of responsibility, such that they're responsible for pretty much everything on the job, to desire marriages in which their wife is in charge of everything at home and they just do what she tells them to do. If that's more-or-less your situation, it seems consistent with your FLR marriage.
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