Welcome to the forum!
Jacob,
Thanks for posting your situation, which is an interesting twist on "cuckold husband/hotwife" relationships.
Greetings all, I just read the post by "SoonToBe" about the "Pain & Pleasure of waiting for her" and decided to join your community.
Welcome!
OK...
My wife only has sex with her lover.
Well, that's reasonable enough. Nothing unusual about that...
I am allowed to see her nude...
That's very generous of your wife...
...and up until this point, I have been allowed to masturbate while she showed me her vagina after she has been with her lover...
That too has been very generous of your wife...
...but that just changed. Now, she wants me to masturbate twice before she is with her lover.
Hm... interesting... but, I assume you can accommodate her without any problem...?
She feels it's too easy for me to know she's with him because I'm turned on by that, so she is forcing me to masturbate before she has sex with him so I can think about their relationship without being turned on by it.
That strikes me as optimistic on your wife's part. If you aren't intensely turned on and beating your weenie while you think about what she and her lover might be doing sexually while she's out on her dates, how does she know your disinterest will not lead you to (for instance) watch football games on TV and not think about her and her lover at all?
She feels this is necessary for me to really understand their relationship because I am now thinking about it and not masturbating to it.
I don't want to seem critical of your wife (my apologies if this strikes you in that way), but I think this is an error in logic.
First, with the new procedure she has imposed on you, you are, in fact, still gaining sexual satisfaction by thinking about what she might be doing with her lover, but with the minor difference that she's allowing you to beat your weenie before the fact instead of during the fact.
Second, your wife may inadvertently be increasing your sexual satisfaction by being present to supervise you while you beat your weenie (which sounds like an extra turn-on for you), and furthermore by requiring you to beat your weenie twice while she supervises you, thereby doubling your sexual satisfaction.
And third, your wife has no guarantee you won't beat your weenie again after she departs, perhaps two or three times more, while thinking about what she might be doing while she's out with her lover. (Surely your wife knows that many men can beat their weenies to orgasm three or more times in the same day, given sufficient mental or visual/mental stimulation...?)
She said like someone who cheats, the guilt comes after the orgasm, not during, so I must have my orgasms before she is with him.
Hm... well, with all due respect to your no-doubt gorgeous wife, I'll have to say this seems to me to be another error in logic. Your wife, not you, is the one who is "cheating" by fucking another man (according to the conventional definition), but in any case, many properly-adapted cuckoldresses feel no guilt at all about fucking men other than their husbands. Also, most properly-conditioned cuckolds, as you appear to be, feel no guilt about encouraging their wives to fuck other men. Rather, they feel they're encouraging them to act in accordance with their inner desires and view married women fucking a wide variety of other men as "the way of the world" (to steal the title of Ron Suskind's book [2008], which has nothing to do with cuckolding).
She said it [requiring me to beat my weenie twice before she goes out with her lover] shifts [my thoughts from] focusing from my selfish desires to focusing on the importance of their relationship.
I think you are the one who will have to comment on the truth, or lack thereof, of this reasoning by your wife. It seems to me to be... well... hypothetical. Do you agree she is right about this?
On the whole my feeling is, the change in your "beating your weenie schedule" that your wife has imposed on you is minor, at most. You might suggest to her that if her desire is to impose a real and enforceable change in your beating-your-weenie schedule, she begin requiring you to wear a male chastity device and become your sole key holder. If your wife is unfamiliar with the advantages of this increasingly widespread practice (it seems) among married women who take lovers, you might suggest she read:
Male chastity advantages for women:
Making Him Your Dream Man: Male Chastity FAQ
In addition, you might suggest to your wife she may find it advantageous to also reinforce, on a daily basis, your appreciation of your status in her marriage by pantying you. I recommend referring her to:
Advantages to married women of pantying their husbands — a "how to" guide:
Making Him Mind, The Transition Begins
These are some thoughts that came to mind as I read your post. I do not, of course, mean to discourage you, as your boss-wife's cuckold, or your boss-wife in any way. Overall, your obedience in response to her desires and requirements is commendable.
—Custer
