He keeps denying it - need help

[chiche]

I've been dating my boyfriend for the past 8 months and it has taken me several months to finally put my finger on the fact that he is truly a cuckold. Over the past 8 months I've asked him if he wanted me to cuckold him 3 separate times. Each time he has denied this.

I was truly ready to just walk away from the relationship because he just could not bring himself to open up to me about his sexual needs/desires. I decided to snoop on his computer and found that on all the porn sites he always searches for cuckold, cuckold creampie, etc.

I also found where he created a profile on this cuckolds.com back in 2007 however it says he hasn't been back.

Is it common for a man to deny he's needs to be cuckolded? In reality I'm thinking this would in fact be counter to his submissiveness. By asking me to cuckold him this would in fact be a dominant thing to do right?

I'm thinking that I won't ask him, I'm just going to have him get on his knees and in a loving way tell him he knows his proper place and that I've decided to cuckold him. He saw me fucked by another man and kept saying it was so hot but he didn't get aroused. This happened prior to me finding his website history. Had I known I would have climbed on his face and made him clean me up after my lover left.

I'm truly comfortable being a dominant in the relationship and being his Sweetness. Just need advice on how to get the initial admissions/discussion out of the way. Can any of you offer advice?

Thanks

ChiChe

 

[marys_pet]

It is entirely possible that cuckolding is something he enjoys as a fantasy, but is not prepared to experience for real. Not every fantasy is made to be lived out, and there's no shame in knowing what your limits are.

 

[chiche]

Where to go from here.

Thanks for the reply. He has tried to tell me something over and over again but keeps saying he's afraid that if he tells me it will ruin our relationship.

He prefers me to masturbate him and is truly unable to maintain an erection if he's fucking me. He can get off if I'm riding him and his favorite is for me to sit on his face while he jacks off.

When we are out at a club dancing, dinner, etc. and I have a sexy top of (lots of cleavage), he gets so incredbily turned on when other men start coming up to me and I flirt. The change in his personality is DRAMATIC when this happens.

When we are apart from each other for several days due to work travel he gets so affectionate and develops the biggest case of cucky agnst.

I wish I knew if this was just a cuckold fantasy issue, however he's truly unable to perform in the bedroom unless I'm in control.

Sigh.....Truly love this man and just want to get this brought to the surface so we can move on with our amazing lives. I'm incredibly open minded and have experience being in a femdom relationship.

Thanks again for the advice.

 

[Custer Laststand]

It sounds like you'll probably be able to get him there.

Hi Ms. ChiChe,

I've been dating my boyfriend for the past 8 months and it has taken me several months to finally put my finger on the fact that he is truly a cuckold. Over the past 8 months I've asked him if he wanted me to cuckold him 3 separate times. Each time he has denied this.

Hm... OK. I guess you mean you've ascertained he's a cuckold-in-waiting. To make him your cuckold, you'll have to marry him. Recall the definition: "a man with an unfaithful wife."

I decided to snoop on his computer and found that on all the porn sites he always searches for cuckold, cuckold creampie, etc.

Very good; apparently your intelligence-gathering strategy yielded good insight.

Is it common for a man to deny he needs to be cuckolded?

Probably. Wanting to "possess one's woman" and "fight off competitors" is supposed to be the male thing, ya' know.

I'm thinking I won't ask him; I'm just going to have him get on his knees and in a loving way tell him he knows his proper place and I've decided to cuckold him.

I suspect you have the right idea here, but this might be "too much, too soon." You might consider first establishing yourself, using your loving female authority approach, as the unambiguously-dominant partner in your relationship and your man as your clearly-submissive partner.

He saw me fucked by another man and kept saying it was so hot...

Excellent! That's very promising.

...but he didn't get aroused.

Meaning, he didn't become obviously erect...? I wouldn't worry too much about that. If he told you repeatedly he found it hot, you can assume he did.

This happened prior to me finding his website history. Had I known I would have climbed on his face and made him clean me up after my lover left.

I agree that would have been an optimal way to initially-establish his role as your cuckold.

I'm truly comfortable being dominant in the relationship and being his Sweetness. I just need advice on how to get the initial admissions/discussion out of the way. Thanks — ChiChe

Good! It sounds like you're on your way. To move your man in the direction you want in a relatively benign way, you might consider an approach along these lines:

Real Women Don't Do Housework

Lady Misato's approach (as described on this site) doesn't include cuckolding per se, but could obviously lead to that.

For a more hard-core approach to establishing yourself as dominant partner and your man's cuckoldress, you might consider an approach more along these lines:

How to Cuckold Your Husband - How To - Literotica.com

How to Cuckold Your Husband Ch. 02 - How To - Literotica.com

More info can be found here:

Cuckolding

Finally, you might consider reading Ms. Elise Sutton's extensive website and possibly subscribing to her e-zine, "Predominant" (google "elise sutton"), and/or reading:

"Female Domination: an exploration of the male desire for loving female authority," by Elise Sutton (2003, Lulu books, 297 pp [paperback]).

(if you haven't done so already). Ms. Sutton's approach to femdom / female-led relationships is a fairly hard-core approach that can lead to cuckolding... although not necessarily initially... and although she claims, rather disengenously, to be personally opposed to it.

You'll note I haven't answered your question, but rather have talked around it. This is because, given your man's apparent resistance to becoming your cuckold, I suspect it will be most effective to first adopt an approach that will lead to establishing yourself as the head of your household, as it were (assuming the two of you live together), or as the dominant partner in a female-led relationship (FLR), as noted above.

Good luck! And best regards —

Custer

 

[carina_halerose]

i agree with Custer establish yourself has the dominant in the relationship. on the other hand do not force it. do it in a loving and gentle way. once he acknowledges that you are in control, then set some tightier boundries. my Mistress took her time and we moved to the point where she is in control and i have never been happier.

 

[Tammy Pantedrop]

CHI: "He can get off if I'm riding him and I sit on his face while he jacks off". Different strokes for different folks I guess. Sorry about this but I'm going to have to disaggree A little here. Don't completely "JUST DO IT". The male ego is a fragile thing and although he seemed to enjoy watching he may not be ready for you to have a Full time lover or rather be a cuckoldress full time. Continue to be Loving, supporting of his feeling, continue to be playfull (Bedroom Games), continue to flirt with other guys and truly express your desires and I'll bet that within a short time he'll surrender to you.

 

[Bradley]

2 cents

Chiche,

I'd like to offer another opinion...

What's the rush? You know that the cuck fantasy turns him on, he knows you know. Do you tease him in the bedroom? Women can be very erotic. Hide different parts of yourself from him from time to time. Make sure you show him yourself in your bra & panties a lot. Make sure that you are on top during sex. Use your hands a LOT on him to tease him & stay in control. Make up stories about work during sex. Tell him about some males that keep flirting with you and you catch them staring at you and talking about you. Tell him how much it turns you on even though you don't want it to. Ask him if he thinks you're beatiful, is he proud of you, does he like the fact that he has a hot wife, does he like the fact that you are the talk of the office, does he like the fact that is wife is so sexual, that you love talking to him about your needs, that the guys at work can tell that you are sexual and that your hormones are racing, etc. Judging by his reaction, you can easily tell what he likes or doesn't. Keep dressing sexy: sheer blouses, lace bras, make sure that he / people can see different sexy things of yours (underwear, lack of, cleavage, leg, etc) when you are out. Go out to bars together & let yourself get hit on. Going up to the bar by yourself to order drinks is a perfect time to strike up a conversation with a guy that's by himself. Be friendly. See how it goes... And then let us know how it goes...

-- Bradley

Thanks for the reply. He has tried to tell me something over and over again but keeps saying he's afraid that if he tells me it will ruin our relationship.

He prefers me to masturbate him and is truly unable to maintain an erection if he's fucking me. He can get off if I'm riding him and his favorite is for me to sit on his face while he jacks off.

When we are out at a club dancing, dinner, etc. and I have a sexy top of (lots of cleavage), he gets so incredbily turned on when other men start coming up to me and I flirt. The change in his personality is DRAMATIC when this happens.

When we are apart from each other for several days due to work travel he gets so affectionate and develops the biggest case of cucky agnst.

I wish I knew if this was just a cuckold fantasy issue, however he's truly unable to perform in the bedroom unless I'm in control.

Sigh.....Truly love this man and just want to get this brought to the surface so we can move on with our amazing lives. I'm incredibly open minded and have experience being in a femdom relationship.

Thanks again for the advice.

 

[smallcockpaul]

Good advice by bradley,

Also, have you thought that he finds the whole idea very horny but once he's cum he finds it completely different and doesn;t want it to happen? So, why not introduce a chastity device for him? It would stop him cumming and keep him horny. After a few weeks he will be begging to be a cuckold!

Don't mention the cuckold thing when you introduce the device, just say it would be fun to think of him all strapped up and would make you very horny.

Good luck

 

[Custer Laststand]

Hi Ms. ChiChe,

Here are some additional thoughts.

[My man] has tried to tell me something over and over again but keeps saying he's afraid that if he tells me it will ruin our relationship.

You can interpret that as meaning he has a sexual desire he fears is "very unusual" or "kinky" — and he assumes you and your sexual desires are "normal" — so, if he confesses what he wants you will reject him because you will be shocked and view him as "weird." I would guess your inference is probably right that he secretly wants you to make him your cuckold. In addition, he probably wants you to accept and act on his desire for you to be the dominant partner in your relationship, and to accept his desire to be your submissive.

He prefers me to masturbate him and is truly unable to maintain an erection if he's fucking me.

Hm... you should probably look at a recent article on the relationship between erectile dysfunction (ED) and heart disease, and call it to your man's attention, if you think he actually has ED and it isn't entirely psychological. See:

http://www.cuckolds.com/forums/cuckolds-news/15433-news-item-ed-heart-disease-risk.html

It's positive that your man prefers you masturbate him. You can use this to extract his secrets from him, as outlined below.

He can get off if I'm riding him...

This is even more positive. It implies he wants you to be sexually dominant (always in female-superior positions so he can view you as fucking him), so much so he can't keep it up if he's in a male-superior position (such that he views himself as fucking you).

...and his favorite is for me to sit on his face while he jacks off.

That's extremely positive. It implies your man definitely wants to be your submissive, especially in a sexual sense. Also, this should enable you to train him to eat cum from your pussy. I.e., ride him until he cums, then slide forward and ride his face (queen him) while demanding, in a sultry-sexy voice, that he "clean" your pussy by licking, sucking and swallowing his own cum while you're queening him. A good article on this subject can be found here:

http://femalesupremacist.org/subject_queening.html

When we are out at a club dancing, having dinner, etc., and I have a sexy top on (lots of cleavage), my man gets incredbily turned on when other men start coming up to me and I flirt. The change in his personality is DRAMATIC when this happens.

This strongly implies your man has a cuckold personality.

When we are apart from each other for several days due to work-travel, he gets very affectionate and develops the biggest case of cucky angst.

This suggests that, in spite of your man's underlying cuckold personality, he's also afraid that if you fuck another man when you're apart he'll lose you to that man. (This fear is a very normal source of male anxiety.)

I wish I knew if this is just a cuckold fantasy issue; however, he's truly unable to perform in the bedroom unless I'm in control.

I would interpret this as a strong desire for you to be the dominant partner in your relationship with him, especially in a sexual sense, and for him to be submissive to you. He doesn't want to admit that to you verbally, though, because he fears you'll no longer consider him "manly" and might therefore reject him. (See Ms. Elise Sutton's book, "Female Domination: an exploration of the male desire for loving female authority," and/or her website at the link noted above.)

Sigh.....I truly love this man and just want to get this brought to the surface so we can move on with our amazing lives. I'm incredibly open minded and have experience being in a femdom relationship.

You can assume your man loves you, too. That's why he fears losing you because of (what he views as his secret and) "kinky" and "unmanly" desires. You can be confident your open-mindedness and your comfort with a femdom relationship will enable you to guide him to where you want him. Always being confident in your relationship with him, and communicating this to him via your demeanor and body language, will be among your strongest assets. Men find women who are confident, especially in a sexual sense, powerfully attractive.

To bring your man's secret desires out into the open — in essence, to force a confession — I suggest a strategy along the following lines.

1. Stop allowing your man penetrative sex, even with you riding him on top.
2. Tell him henceforth, he will cum only when you give him permission to cum and he must ASK for your permission.
3. Have sex with him by ordering him to take off his clothes and lie on his back in the nude. Remain more-or-less fully but provocatively dressed yourself; say, in a short skirt without panties. Tell him he may not touch his cock.
4. Straddle and ride his face (queen him) until YOU orgasm.
5. Then lie beside him, order him to "get it up, sweetheart" (preferably without you touching his cock), then begin masturbating him with your hand. Remind him he is not to cum until you give him permission, which he must ASK for.
6. As he approaches orgasm and he asks you if he may cum now, tell him "no darling, not yet" (in a sultry voice) and stop masturbating him. If necessary, abort his orgasm by squeezing the base of his cock hard or pulling downward on his balls (i.e, pull his balls toward his feet).
7. Then, tell him you love him and you will always accept him as he is, and you want him to tell you, now, the secrets about himself he's been holding back. Otherwise, you will not allow him to cum.
8. If he hesitates and still declines to tell you, say "OK darling, that's it, no more sex today" (or words to that effect), then order him to get dressed without allowing him to cum.
9. The next day, repeat. Always require him to bring you to orgasm FIRST by queening him or otherwise sucking and licking your pussy, and do this as often as you like, but don't allow him to penetrate you or touch his cock, and don't allow him to orgasm when you masturbate him (but bring him to the brink), until he tells you his secrets that he's been holding back. When he does, reward him in a suitable way that will probably involve allowing him penetrative sex via you riding him on top until he cums, then mounting his face and queening him while demanding (in your usual sultry voice on such occasions) he "clean" your pussy and swallow his own cum.

Please let us know how your strategy (that is, whatever strategy you adopt) works out. Good luck!

—Custer

 

[NYJOE]

There is another possibility.

Perhaps your boyfriend is afraid to admit to you that he wants you be with other men because he fears the you will then think he does not really love you and therefore may loose you?