How we play
For us after almost 3 years we have our routine that we are comfortable with and seems to work. We have an ad on the pay side of Dark Cavern, and on a couple of swinger sites. If we get a response we answer through the site or I refer the guys to her email address. I check the emails as that part of it bores her. I periodically check her yahoo messenger and if a guy pms I say up front they've reached hubby, and if that doesn't freak them out I go over how we like to play it there, which saves some time. My wife doesn't chat on yahoo, so I ask the chatters to email her account where she will see it.
She asks for a photo, g-rated, in her first email to the guy. Or if he sends a photo with it, and she likes it, she emails back and asks for a phone number and a convenient time to talk. She doesn't like a lot of emails, preferring to talk on the phone--which filters out the posers quickly. She calls the guy, and if the vibe is right after the call we start checking our schedules looking for a time when we all can get together.
The criteria is not that difficult, but she has determined what she likes and how we like to play it. Basically the guy should be clean, professional, over 33 years old, and able to carry on a decent conversation. We also let him know in the phone conversation that I'll be there watching, that I'm very straight, and that I like to take video and photos for our personal viewing only. We will share photos of her as well with him, but her face won't be visible. (And nothing with his face visible will ever show up anywhere either).
We don't play in our small town but prefer to go to a metro area nearby (Atlanta), or when we travel, which takes in most of the major cities in the Southeast.
So after an email, a phone call, we meet for drinks in a hotel bar, and if there are no negative vibes he is invited to join us in our room in that same hotel. I usually excuse myself to the men's room and take my time to allow things to get started, and when I step out my wife and her new lover are usually making out, so I turn on the camera, and try to be as unobtrusive as possible. (I'm a voyeur, not a director).
In three years we've only had one negative experience, when this guy who already had his cock in my wife, freaked about my taking photos--although we had gone over this with him several times up front. (And from his conversations he was into sissy hubs into humiliation--but it didn't go that far or he would have been asked to leave over that too!)
Of the guys we have played with, over half we have played with several times and still do when our schedules make it possible. (Unfortunately we have a busy day-to-day life and we can only play once in 4-6 weeks on average).
And we're not into black superiority, any more than we would tolerate white superiority. We treat the guy with respect, we expect the same, after all I'm sharing my wife with you! Having said that, during the act she loves being talked to dirty with some name calling.
She prefers black guys because she was always curious about black guys in her conservative school, which was taboo there, and I suspect that intensified her interest in interracial. When she tried it the first time she loved it, and still does. That doesn't mean she quit me, or swinging with the right couple from time to time.
It works for us! She loves it, and I love watching he enjoy it.
This probably went way beyond your question at the start of this thread, but it is us.