Hala said:
Update* I've come to a compromise of sorts with my husband.
Good.
Hala said:
I'm allowing him to have sex with another woman one time...
What!!?? But, well, if it's just one time...
Hala said:
...just to see what he'd say. I'm actually hurt because he didn't say "no" to this offer, he actually said yes.
I suppose it would be unkind to say that outcome was the obvious risk, so I won't say that.
Maybe this was actually your husband's underlying goal when he insisted (seemingly) he didn't want you to see your new bull anymore...
Hala said:
...and it actually hurts me. To top it off he wants to do it with a girl he may have feelings for. I don't want to give up my cop friend because it's strictly sex, but I really don't want my husband with another girl let alone a girl he may have had a connection with.
I thought this was supposed to work the other way around. A man is supposed to fear his woman taking a lover because women are likely to get "emotionally involved" and "fall in love" (or so men assume), whereas if a man takes a lover his woman shouldn't worry about that (he also assumes), because for him it's "just sex"... or so men say.
Hala said:
Any idea what I should do?
It looks to me like you've made progress, so I'd say go with it... but, with a variation.
You might consider talking with your husband about both of you getting into this as swingers. That is, suppose you were to meet your bull and your husband were to meet his woman friend (assuming she agrees) at the same restaurant/bar, preferably with live music and a dance floor where you can show off your hula talents.
Then, having become better acquainted over dinner and drinks, and turned on with some dancing, all 4 of you could retire to the same double hotel room (reserved in advance) — or you and your bull could retire to one room and your husband and his woman friend to another, if you-all prefer — for a hot night.
You will then have your bull, and your husband won't complain anymore (presumably) because you will be allowing him to have a lover too, and the four of you can go from there.
If something along these lines appeals to you (at least somewhat)... even if you have some reservations... you might let me know, and I'll say a bit more.