I know you feel betrayed!
You should have been told before anyone was brought in, but once we deveate from the norm, as the moral majority, desides we have to be prepared to be "found out". I will say this, the family will think less of him than you. So many men desire a woman with your willingness.
Have someone make a picture of him holding your hand while you suck at the Gloryhole. That will put the shoe on the other foot. I do not mean to make light of your concerns and I know they are real but be true to thy own self.