Sinead said:
This isn't the first time I've been rejected, so I'm not THAT torn up about it. Honestly, I even expected it. But I tried, I can at least say that.
I suppose most people can say that (about rejection). I certainly can. And, it's true — you certainly did try.
Sinead said:
But she admitted to me that she is getting a sort of meta-pleasure out of the abandonment and handing over of her body, delight at being used for my pleasure. Do you remember?
Yes.... now that you've reminded me, I do recall you saying that.
Sinead said:
She admitted that being passive and powerless liberates her from the stress of proper behaviour and that she hates the experience, but it brings a tingle of adrenalin and when i am around, she looks forward to the revolting touch of my hands on her body.
This seems well beyond the kinds of things most women would be willing to admit in casual conversation. But then, openly feeling up your cousin's wife in public seemed well beyond how most women would express themselves toward another woman they felt attracted to (or at least, that's my impression). In any case, her words seem to convey a hint of bisexuality, which is positive from your point of view.
Sinead said:
I am very attracted to this woman my cousin's wife but only in a sexual way. To be honest the reasons I'm drawn to her are her looks and her clothes. ....... [and] I love her height and her curvy stature. She is so radiant and tall and big and soft.
Well.... there's nothing wrong with being attracted to her. The photos you posted show she is, in fact, a gorgeous and strongly sexual-looking woman.
Sinead said:
What is wrong with this woman my cousin's wife?
Hard to say. As a straight dude (as we're called), my ability to comment on that is limited, at best.
Sinead said:
Why was she allowing me to touch her and grope her? ......
Maybe when she referred to "the stress of proper behavior" (quoted by you, above) she meant, mostly, the stress of pretending at all times that since she is married, she is not supposed to show even the slightest interest in any man other than her husband (your cousin) — because doing so would not be "proper." Simultaneously your photos suggest she is strongly sexual, but the longer her marriage continues, the less interesting routine sex with her husband seems. Allowing you to feel her up in public was a way of allowing herself to break through the strictures of always having to seem "proper" (as she said, per your quote above) and experience something sexual with someone who was "safe;" i.e., you. I say "safe," because if anyone objected that her allowing you to feel her up was not "proper," she could always say something like: "Oh, it isn't going anywhere. That's just my husband's cousin; she's overly affectionate."
Sinead said:
She is so tall and big and soft. I just want to have sex with her. I feel like I'll never come across a woman of her caliber again. Never before has a woman attracted me this much physically. Should i grope her again? What do you think?
First, I'll say that thinking of your cousin's wife as "the only one for you" is a fallacy. I'm quite sure there are other purely-lesbian and bisexual women out there who are plenty attractive. (The latter are, almost certainly, numerically much greater than the former.) Since people don't walk around with signs announcing their sexual orientations, for the most part (the "coming out" phenomenon notwithstanding), you might begin thinking in terms of an on-line search to find other women of the kind(s) who appeal to you. And, I suggest undertaking this effort simultaneously along with the efforts you undertake to re-establish a personal relationship of some kind with your cousin's wife — since you don't know, a priori, whether the latter will succeed.
If, when you invited her out for coffee, she talked with her husband (your cousin) about it, and possibly mentioned you'd been feeling her up, his (apparently negative) response may have caused her to conclude she must extend her "always seeming proper" exterior shell to include you. Although speculative, this may explain her decision to ignore and avoid you.
Thus, my second suggestion is to take an approach with your cousin's wife that is oriented toward what appears to be her underlying anxiety — i.e., having to "seem proper" at all times.
..... I edited out my suggestion to refer your cousin's wife to the "HotwifeLetters dot com" site, because it occurs to me it might backfire. .....