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My story - the ups and the downs

  • Thread startercp1970
  • Start date
Susan's Slave - thanks for the response, but you have it wrong.... sorry if its my fault for describing it in such a way.... neither my wife nor I are strong willed in fact the opposite... and what happened to us is a great warning for others, to make sure that if you come to an understanding and agree rules or how something as 'sensitive' as a cuckolding relationship is to be, make sure that everyone is on the same page.

Our problem was that my wife thought that we had agreed that she was free to do whatever she wanted... I thought we had agreed that she would not have an online affair as that was mostly emotional. She landed up doing the only thing that I thought we had agreed she could not do.

THE point here is, when we agreed the 'rules' if she had said she may take an online boyfriend, I would have agreed to it, also if she had said no to my email saying the arrangements exclude online, I would have been OK with that too.

From the moment I found out, we worked VERY hard as a couple to make it work, was it easy for me? No --- i challenge every cuck on this site to see if having your wife 'talk' online to her boyfriend for up to 2 hours, 4 or 5 nights a week is 'fun' 'hot' or 'easy'... at the end of the day she ended it because it wasn't working for her anymore.

I will finish my story very soon, or rather get it up to date... the journey we are on has yet to be finished...
 
Part 19 - up to date

So that all happened around 5 weeks ago. Since then its been a real rollercoaster of a ride.

My wife is convinced that my performance issues are due to the fact that things are 'boring' and vanilla now. I went to the doctor who ran the usual tests - which came up clear. He suggested I try a half dose of Viagra to help ease the stress... this option was NOT one my wife was happy to consider, she felt that it would be a real turn off for her.

The good news is that things are looking up, its worked the last 3 times, but the stress of performing has yet to go away. She told me I don’t need to wear the panties anymore. I have stopped, which is a pity, I was really enjoying wearing them.
 
Where to from here?

I really want to thank everyone for their support and patience in putting up with my long drawn out story, It was too difficult to post in one session plus I don't get a lot of time online

So where to from here?

We had a very good talk 3 days ago, I again suggested that she find someone else to fuck - she admits to wanting to, but feels that it wont work for us - she keeps saying what will happen if I get emotionally involved with him? so where to from here I really don't know, I would realyl appreciate soem advice.
 
cp1970

This is kind of late but there is a program called Eblaster you put on your computer. Once it is on your computer you can see everything that anyone does on it. And I mean everything anything sent,typed,I/M,Face Book,etc..
If you had you could have seen all the stuff going on with your wife and she never would have even known. Ive used it and it works.
 
cp1970 said:
My wife is convinced that my performance issues are due to the fact that things are 'boring' and vanilla now. I went to the doctor who ran the usual tests - which came up clear. He suggested I try a half dose of Viagra to help ease the stress... this option was NOT one my wife was happy to consider, she felt that it would be a real turn off for her.
Click to expand...

I suggest you get a new doctor. Viagara doesn't ease any stress. My husband and I went to the doctor when we started swinging to get a Viagara / Cialis prescription for him. The first few times, he was having performance issues. The doctor explained to us, that these pills remove an enzyme that blocks blood flow to the penis, when the penis is stimulated and there is a desire to have sex, then there is nothing to prevent the blood from flowing into the penis. But there has to be a desire to have sex.

The doctor was real nice about it too, sat down and talked to us, never judged us, and we discovered it wasn't so much nerves that was hindering my husband, as it was he thought I didnt want him to have sex, and was testing him .... I told him he was foolish, and since then he has never had an issue ... but god love him, he still sometimes, will sit and watch ... he says he truly loved those first few times where he couldn't play (well not fully) and watched me with another couple while he tried to get hard. :)
 
Doc was great, told him a cut down version of my story, he said the Viagara will help - but have not used it yet seems to be working ok now.
 
so advice here please

How do I get my wife to take the final step and actually do it? She knows I want her to - but she is reluctant to as she is worried what may happen.
 
questions

CP you are stuck in a tough place right now, it seems as of you wife to soem extent doesnt trust herself, do you think maybe her feelings for her online boyfriend were stronger than she maybe let on to you?

How certain are you that the affair is really over. Is it possible that she has just gone underground with it?
 
SB - I am 100% certain the affair is over - my wife proved beyond a shadow of doubt that she does not lie to me. She told me its over and it is. I am so certain that I have not ever logged into her MySpace account since that first time...

As reagrds her feelings, yes I am wondering the same... I have not asked her what her feelings are for him now after 3+ months, maybe I should!!!

Although I really don't think she will want to talk about the past.. and to be honest nor do I
 
clarity

I think I may have given the wrong impression when I told my story. Quite a few people got the idea that I came down heavily on my wife for her online affair. I want to clarify this....

I was very shocked when i found out... but got over the shock quickly and within one day of finding out was doing my upmost to encourage my wife to keep it going...at no stage did i ask/pressure her to end it.

With hindsight I think maybe that part of her 'fun' was the fact that i did not know, she did nothing to hide it and in fact a few times when i asked what she was doing on the computer so late at night (1 am on a few occasions) she said talking to my boyfriend.. I thought she was joking as I never imagined it was overseas and I thought there is no ways she is talking to a local guy at 1 am.... when something is right under your nose......

I think that she ultimately dumped him because he got too demanding and she was feeling under pressure trying to balance her time....
 
CP - what do you think teh next step is for you guys? I feel that myabe you may struggle to deal with her finding a real boyfriend, is it a possibility that you don''t really want anything more than a fantasy?
 
advice needed

SB I wish I knew what the next step is.

My wife admits that she is very turned on by the idea of fucking another guy. She has had a hot online affair with a guy that she enjoyed a lot. But I think that she is scared of what may happen. She is not the type of woman to go out and meet a guy in a bar and take him to a hotel room for a good time. She would want to sleep with a guy who she liked and maybe therein is where the problem lies.

She told me that if she had met the online boyfriend in person she would have fucked him 100% for sure and still would like to. We spoke about this yesterday, and I found out a bit more about why she ended it with him. After I found out, she (naturally) reduced her time she spent talking with him, as it felt a bit different for her, she also said no to more phone calls from him.. he was not happy with these two things and started giving her a bit of a hard time.. she felt that the relationship was no longer the fun and hot thing it was before.... Even though she did not tell him I had found out about them, he sensed that things were different and the pressure he put on her ultimately caused her to end it.

As to your question about what I really want.. I would like her to follow her fantasies and find a boyfriend. I am scared about the emotional aspects to that as she would seem to have to have feelings for a guy before she would do anything? I would appreciate some advice from anyone there who has been in this position.
 
You say teh online boyfrioend was overseas? Don't know your financial position, but to me it would seem like a simple solution, sned her away for a few days to meet with him. She gets to fullfill her fantasy (as do you) - with no real ongoing emotional attachement beyond what she has today, to me it sounds like she still has soem feelings for him anyway.

CP - you said you were having erectile issues - does this mean that you are not having sex with your wife right now?
 
SB, it was discussed, she said no to the idea. She said its over between them and she does not want to reopen the whole thing up again.

Regarding my 'issue' have not had a problem the last few times, so holding thumbs its over.

She has started up making those comments again, for example yesterday we had some friends over... including some visitors of friends of ours from another town, after she said to me, "that guy was hot, I could have had him"
 
Interesting comment

Interesting comment by my wife last night.. I said something about her having a fantasy about fucking another guy, she snapped back at me, its NOT a fantasy. I said Oh what is it then, she just looked at me and said nothing...
 
what do other posters think?

CP, in my opinion its not a when its an if !!! she IS going to fuck another guy, its inevitable - i think its simply a matter of when an opportunity presents itself.
what do others think?
 
SB64 I think you may well be right. I think that it is a case of the right guy in the right place....

She is not going to ever go to a bar and get picked up. But i think that she will find a guy who she is attracted to and flirt with him to attract his attention. If he makes the right movess I think she will do it.

We had an interesting chat last night, I may have to go to the town that her online ex-lover lives for a conference next year. I asked if she would come with - her answer was no, she cannot go to that town. I did not get a chance to find out her reasons before being interrupted by our daughter.
 
spoke more about it, she does not wnat to bump into him, she feels it will be awkward, she is worried about all 3 of our reactions and that if we did bump into him with his wife, she may well realise that somethign was up.

I think that the real reason is that she really wants to fuck him and can't work out how it would happen....
 
how it would happen? what do you mean CP?

Basically this is what I think, at soem stage your wife is going to fuck another guy, accept it....
 
There is nothing wrong with a wife fucking anyone she is attracted to, as long as she does not hide it from the husband.
She don't have to let him watch, but he needs to know she is getting dicked on the side.
Just my opinion.
 
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