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My story - the ups and the downs

  • Thread startercp1970
  • Start date
Alas, the guy who gave us the quote was way too expensive to even consider using him, even if he comes with 'fringe benefits'

I don't think it was him who turmed her on, I think it was when i started talking about her ex online boyfriend.. I will try and bring that subject up again soon.

SB64 - I hope you are right and at times I think you are, but then at other times I feel maybe its never going to go beyond a fantasy for her.
 
Nothing since November 26th!! she has lost all interest.. I have tried to initiate 3 times and she just says no. The last time I tried was 2 nighst ago, I said why have you lost interest and she said I dont know. The funny thing is we are getting on really well, just no sex or any interest.
I am pretty certain she hasn't done anything with anyone else recently as she has not had any opportunity. She has not had any of her unexplained outings.. so I don't know what is up and not sure what to do next???
 
You speak of your wife as if she were a machine you were trying to port to. She is human and you would almost certainly be better backing off and using your time to really reconnect with her. And for god's sake ignore Custard. He pushes everything as if all life were his puppets and then goes all strange when real life (and shit) actually happens. If she really wants this, she will say so eventually. Stop pushing, its enough to put anyone off.
 
Cp1970,

peakmb said:
And for god's sake ignore Custard.
Click to expand...

PeekabooMB has given you some good advice. To paraphrase Mark Twain: I wouldn't want to have anything to do with anyone who actually listened to me.

—Custer
 
peakmb said:
You speak of your wife as if she were a machine you were trying to port to. She is human and you would almost certainly be better backing off and using your time to really reconnect with her. And for god's sake ignore Custard. He pushes everything as if all life were his puppets and then goes all strange when real life (and shit) actually happens. If she really wants this, she will say so eventually. Stop pushing, its enough to put anyone off.
Click to expand...

Peakmb, you have it completely wrong, it may be my fault, I may have given the wrong impression. I am not trying to get my wife to do anything. We have a great sex life (normally) she is very keen and expects me to start with her, in fact I have at times upset her if I haven't initiated. Its this last 2 weeks that she has behaved a bit out of character.
 
MacNfries said:
cp1970, I've followed your thread since you started it; I think you write well ... very descriptive & detailed. Normally, I don't let myself get involved in continuing threads because they're sorta like watching a TV program that says "continued ... ". You miss an episode, get behind, and find yourself out of sync with what's going on. I would like to toss in my opinion, however, if I may.

I think there's a lot going on in your woman's head right now ... frustration, desire, etc ... lots of confusing emotions. On top of that, you've mentioned more than once her sensitivities with sex during her menstrual cycle. I'm thinking that actually has more to do with those highs & lows than maybe you or her realize. Menstruation causes chemical imbalances and affect different women in different ways for sure, but, they also affect the same woman different ways each cycle, plus she's got a lot rattling around in her head ... I detected she's confused with you, she even seems to be confused by herself and her own emotions & thoughts. I've said this more than once, women approach sex differently than men ... they look for the emotional benefits of sex that men don't necessarily need just to have sex. You're basically denying her of that ... wanting her to follow through with a physical encounter but restricting the emotional involvement. Women usually have problems with doing that.

You need to help her regain her balance of confidence. You eluded to it several times ... bragging on her looks, etc. I would continue doing that. Taking her out to functions where she can dress up a bit and look sexy, and continue reassuring her as to how important she is to you. I'd lay off the encouragement of her hooking up with someone for now. Your agreement with her even confused me. If I were female and in a sound relationship with you, I'd have problems with having a physical relationship with an outside party, as I wouldn't be sure how you really would react to it.

She's been denied physical experiences with other men to this point, and she's super curious to explore right now. She is going to take that next step and I wouldn't be surprised if she took it without your acknowledgement.

I'd work on firming up your relationship with her, first ... maybe come back to the cuckolding later when she's more stable. Good luck ... Mac
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Thanks Mac, relationship is great, its just that she has lost interest in sexual relations right at this moment. I am not too stressed about it, I do wonder if its realted to the whole theme of Hotwifing/cuckolding or not?

Regarding your comments above about her taking the next step without my acknowledgement - I agree100% on that, I will not know that it happened until she decides to tell me. I will not know before.
 
Custer Laststand said:
Cp1970,



PeekabooMB has given you some good advice. To paraphrase Mark Twain: I wouldn't want to have anything to do with anyone who actually listened to me.

—Custer
Click to expand...

Custer, is that like not joining a club that would let me in as a member?
 
cp1970 said:
Custer, is that like not joining a club that would let me in as a member?
Click to expand...

I think that was Mark Twain's original comment: "I wouldn't join any club that would have me as a member."
 
Gents,
I hate to spoil a good story with the truth but, "I wouldn't join any club that would have me as a member," was said by Groucho Marx. Of course it was funny when he said it.
 
This is quite a journey. I thank you for sharing. It must be therapeutic for you, on some level.

First, let me say that I am not cuck. I am married and my wife is a "Hot Wife". In other words, she fucks other men, with my participation or knowledge and agreement (It's not permission...it's out of respect and value of our relationship that she doesn't want to do anything that would upset me and harm our marriage). This is something we both enjoy.

So, that being said, I am concerned about your wifes apparently insensitive remarks that you have shared. "Less than a man, she needs or deserves a real man". I am also concerned about the level of emotional involvement she seems to exhibit. Though she is being honest with you I don't think she is being honest with herself.

The rough around the edges, strong confident man...the "working man" image...many women are attracted to that. Many women find that particularly exciting during the fertile days of their cycle. Your wife seems to be among them. But I think she is also drawn to a more sensitive man.... a good partner...a good husband and father. Bad boys can be fun be they aren't husband material.

I think her insensitive remarks are actually passive aggressive displays. I think, in those moments she is both angry at you for not being the "he-man" and herself for wanting you to be.

With regards to your penis size, you are correct. The vast majority of men are slighly under 6 inches in length. The percentage of those under that is roughly equal to those over. Being overweight is a major factor in shorter lengths.

I think at least part of your attraction to her having a boyfriend or sex with other men is a deflection of your feelings of inadequacy. She is reinforcing these feelings in you.

I think the two of you need to sit and honestly discuss the other aspects of your relationship. Do you love each other? Are you both committed to your marriage? Are both your emotional needs being met, outside of your sexuality?

If all of these are true or at least not outside the realm of possibility then you need to spend some time nurturing your marriage. Do this with the understanding that you will arrive, together, at an agreement regarding your sexual life together. One that is enjoyable for both of you. You can only arrive at that once you have what makes the two of you tick, as individuals and as marriage partners, so defer the decision till your partnership is on track.

Nothing in sexuality is "wrong" if it is mutually acceptable (short of sex with children, mutilation, etc.).

Kindness and respect are essential to a healthy relationship. Give both and expect them in return.

Finally, sexually stimulating things are a moving target. What is hot now may not be later. For both of you. Accept that this is the human condition. Be prepared to move with your feelings.

You sound like a decent guy and I wish you both the best outcome.
 
Thanks bmc.. great advice, but i think i may have given people the wrong impression.. we have a great marriage and we are very close and we get on really really well. The comments she makes are always said in a fun way and titilate both of us.. when she is not interested in sex (like now) she makes no comments at all.

We are both tunred on with the idea of her sleeping with another guy, it may be what she feels, but she knows I love it and its definitely NOT said in a nasty or bitchy way at all

and BTW I donot at all feel inadequate, I am exactly average in size. I feel very comfortable being average

Thanks to you and all the other posters, I really do appreciate the feedback and advice
 
She is back

Well last night was interesting, at around 6pm she whispered to me... tonight I want a massage and you can give me a turn, but you are not having a turn, as you haven't earned it. By a turn she meant to finger her.. she knows that I find it very hot when she denies me.

So when we finally got to bed last night, I gave her a great long massage that started on her back and then slowly went lower and lower, she was as wet as when I finally worked my fingers to her pussy lips...

After fingering her for a few minutes, she rolled over onto her back and grabbed me (I was as hard as anything) and guided me inside her..

She was dripping and I managed to last quite a while... afterwards I said I thought I wasn't getting a turn, she said I didnt let you inside me for your benefit and laughed.
 
CP - any updates? I love hearing your story as it is not dissimilar to mine. Unfortunately mine did not end well, yours seems so much more promising...
 
SB - how did your story end might I ask? and how similar is your story to mine?
As for an update its back on again, we have had some hot sex in the last 2 days. I do not know why she lost interest or what was happening.
 
well Cp, it turned out that my wife was cheating on me, that all teh talk about boyfriends all teh teasinf etc was to gauge my reaction. The issue was that she lied to me. When we made our arragement she swoer she hasd never doen anything with anyone. The reality was she had been cheating on me for 7 years!! yes 7 years.

I found a note hidden very well in her draw. The note was 4 years old and had been hiden ther for years, it must have got dislodged from its hiding place after so long.

I confrionted her and she finally admitted to the affair - it turns out that she has never been faithful to me from the getgo.. the reason for teh incraesed sex between us was - a combination of her finding out that I was turned on by the idea of hotwifing and her BF was away for 6 weeks. It is staggering hwo blind one can be but....

Well we are at couples conselling etc she ended teh affair, and we are working thriugh issues. So my cuckolding is limited to reading about the rest of you on here
 
SB that is not a great story at all, I hope you guys can work it out.
 
It is her birthday next week. I asked her if she thinks her ex online BF will make contact, she said not sure. I know she would love to email him and touch base, but she also wants to let sleeping dogs lie.

She will tell me if she hears from him I believe... her hormones are raging again, we are having very hot sex almost everynight this week, I can hardly keep up!!!!
 
mxh521
Sometimes this board is truly staggering. I would say, if you have to ask, you should probably start in a darkened room with your right hand. After a few months like this, switch to your left hand. Then a few months later come back and ask again ..
 
mxh start your own thread!!!
 
  • #100
CP how about an update? did her ex make contact?
 
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