Only gonna say that if STB feels comfortable with where he and Sue are then why all the negativity especially after he explains it multiple ways. And pussy feels great, but denial does too! Its just different. Going cold turkey seems rough but a slow phase out over a couple of months replaced by passion for something else worked good for us. The while reconnecting by fucking is really just the last stage of holding on to your alpha. Stb wants to experience that but is scared to let go. Once he accepts the fact that it isnt his pussy anymore and begins to jerk off more with Sue, he will be less anxious about reclaiming her.
New Year, New Thread
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Far2,
Your whole comment hinges on the first sentence. If STB feels comfortable. .. The thing is if you read his comments, he DOESN'T feel comfortable. So the rest is just fluff. It's like penis and squirmy. They want Steve to follow their route and ignore that he has never thus far said he would be happy with it. Indeed has said he wouldn't.
Let's let him take the space to think clearly and make his own mind up.
Your whole comment hinges on the first sentence. If STB feels comfortable. .. The thing is if you read his comments, he DOESN'T feel comfortable. So the rest is just fluff. It's like penis and squirmy. They want Steve to follow their route and ignore that he has never thus far said he would be happy with it. Indeed has said he wouldn't.
Let's let him take the space to think clearly and make his own mind up.
Peak - I think you may be mis-characterizing how I'm feeling about everything. You are suggesting I'm not comfortable and I'm not sure that's exactly the right description, I think the word uncertain may be more applicable. Sue is most-definitely making sure of my comfort in every way including trying her best to explain to me how she feels and trying to assuage my feelings of being somehow emasculated in all of this.
I recognize that even what she's talking about wanting to happen, that it isn't going to be permanent. That's one thing I feel clearly from her and how she explains what she's feeling, that she understands that - for us at least - that we both have a need to reconnect physically at times. As many have pointed out, with or without a condom, I know that I need to feel her that way at times and she has made it clear that she feels the same. I am a little hesitant to say that her suggested schedule might be a bit too long for me - I've been honest with her and said that I need to fuck her at least once every 3 months or so to feel connected and close to her. I even apologized for it but it's perhaps the first time I've told her it in just so many words. She smiled and said she clearly felt the same - but as I said, when we talked, she felt her time-frame was longer than that but wholly agreed that it's something we both need to enjoy together. As we talked about it she said again what she'd always been saying that "if you need it, then I'm here for you honey". I looked at her and asked her if she ever felt the "need" with me and she smiled and said an honest "yes honey, I do, and it's out of love and loving you, not just being horny" and she explained that it was something she still felt and understood the need for. So, while I understand that what she wants seems somewhat extreme, at the same time, hearing and feeling/knowing this makes it easier. And yes, makes it hornier to think about.
But in being honest, the thing that scares me is how I feel about things. I feel conflicted because I've always considered myself a masculine kind of guy - I'm in good shape, work out a lot, exercise in general and like "guy kind of things" and all of that - and now I think of all of this beta-stuff that's clearly been just below the surface for a long time if not forever and it scares me that maybe this is more the real me? And yes, I think all along I've felt kind of weird and scared in a way that as a masculine kind of guy, that at the same time I am turned on by my wife with other guys - it just seems contradictory to me in my head - "real guys shouldn't want this" kind of thing.
And then, I add in the more recent thoughts that I've had that have added a lot more clarity and made me see this as more of the long-term thing it's been rather than something more flash-in-the-pan, and it just has given me pause for concern. How can a guy who has loved fucking women and enjoyed using his big cock in almost 25 women in his life - how can that same guy now come to terms with being aroused by being denied that pleasure? Its even more weird for me because I can so see myself enjoying the more explicit and more complete denial by Sue.
I admit it - there is some kind of incredible arousing complete horny feeling I have about being denied sex with her - and yes, knowing Paul will be replacing me - fully - for some period of time. I find myself thinking each time we have sex now - even with as infrequent as it can be - about how it would feel to know that may be the last time. I have read and re-read the posts from the last 2 New Years Eve's where we talked about this and sort of acted it out and each time it leaves me wanting it more. Just this morning seeing her emerge from the shower naked - seeing her body - seeing her (still) bare pussy and thinking that I may not get to feel it had my cock rock hard.
So Peak, it isn't that I'm not comfortable with it. It's that I think I'm scared to accept that it turns me on, to think of my wife like that ****** back at the frat-party, letting the other guy(s) cum in her but not me. And I think that if I knew for sure it would be something for a finite period of time, that I could definitely see letting it happen and even wanting it to happen. But I don't know that I'm ready for it to become a true reality and to find out 3 months in that it isn't something we can turn back from quite so easily. Not that it is what would happen, but as with everything, it's something we need to talk about and what the safety-valves and safe-words would be as the slippery-slope may get a lot steeper.
So, yes, I'm hesitant. But at the same time, the thought of sharing her permanently like this, I have to admit - if I/we could be more assured of how it would work out, I would clearly say yes to trying it out. I know, it sounds crazy to say that - that I would give up that much with her to enjoy it differently but I would. It even sounds crazy to me, but at the same time, my cock is rock hard here as I am typing this and thinking about it.
It wasn't a mistake letting her see Paul last Wednesday and it's not a mistake that she's seeing him again tonight. Our daughter is working in the mall at a clothing-shop, so her days/hours are variable but Sue isn't seeing Paul ever time our daughter is working - so that's a good thing - but trying to say it needs to end abruptly would be a mistake. Nothing has changed yet other than us talking so I don't know why I would want to tell her to see him less right now just because of what we are talking about, actually that she's not jumping to see him more of her own is a nice thing to feel about all of this.
Last Wednesday night was mainly spent with me trying to tell her how it made me feel to know she'd been with him earlier and was now enjoying the after-glow of their fun as she watched me pleasure myself. She left her panties on but let me see the darkened area between her legs as she told me of what they'd done. It was something I recalled thinking when we talked again and she told me of his prowess, thinking of how he'd been satisfied and how wet she likely was as I lay there next to her. I told her that knowing she was lying next to me having come from being with him and that her pussy was likely full of his cum was making me very horny. Needless to say, it didn't take much of her encouragement for me to cum. But what she did say again as I lay there after spurting all over was what she'd also said all along and that was I obviously enjoyed it, why was I always fighting it.
And I think for me that's where the real issue lies. Can I truly let go of this view of what a man is, that it's somehow not okay to enjoy my wife's open sexuality with her lover?
I recognize that even what she's talking about wanting to happen, that it isn't going to be permanent. That's one thing I feel clearly from her and how she explains what she's feeling, that she understands that - for us at least - that we both have a need to reconnect physically at times. As many have pointed out, with or without a condom, I know that I need to feel her that way at times and she has made it clear that she feels the same. I am a little hesitant to say that her suggested schedule might be a bit too long for me - I've been honest with her and said that I need to fuck her at least once every 3 months or so to feel connected and close to her. I even apologized for it but it's perhaps the first time I've told her it in just so many words. She smiled and said she clearly felt the same - but as I said, when we talked, she felt her time-frame was longer than that but wholly agreed that it's something we both need to enjoy together. As we talked about it she said again what she'd always been saying that "if you need it, then I'm here for you honey". I looked at her and asked her if she ever felt the "need" with me and she smiled and said an honest "yes honey, I do, and it's out of love and loving you, not just being horny" and she explained that it was something she still felt and understood the need for. So, while I understand that what she wants seems somewhat extreme, at the same time, hearing and feeling/knowing this makes it easier. And yes, makes it hornier to think about.
But in being honest, the thing that scares me is how I feel about things. I feel conflicted because I've always considered myself a masculine kind of guy - I'm in good shape, work out a lot, exercise in general and like "guy kind of things" and all of that - and now I think of all of this beta-stuff that's clearly been just below the surface for a long time if not forever and it scares me that maybe this is more the real me? And yes, I think all along I've felt kind of weird and scared in a way that as a masculine kind of guy, that at the same time I am turned on by my wife with other guys - it just seems contradictory to me in my head - "real guys shouldn't want this" kind of thing.
And then, I add in the more recent thoughts that I've had that have added a lot more clarity and made me see this as more of the long-term thing it's been rather than something more flash-in-the-pan, and it just has given me pause for concern. How can a guy who has loved fucking women and enjoyed using his big cock in almost 25 women in his life - how can that same guy now come to terms with being aroused by being denied that pleasure? Its even more weird for me because I can so see myself enjoying the more explicit and more complete denial by Sue.
I admit it - there is some kind of incredible arousing complete horny feeling I have about being denied sex with her - and yes, knowing Paul will be replacing me - fully - for some period of time. I find myself thinking each time we have sex now - even with as infrequent as it can be - about how it would feel to know that may be the last time. I have read and re-read the posts from the last 2 New Years Eve's where we talked about this and sort of acted it out and each time it leaves me wanting it more. Just this morning seeing her emerge from the shower naked - seeing her body - seeing her (still) bare pussy and thinking that I may not get to feel it had my cock rock hard.
So Peak, it isn't that I'm not comfortable with it. It's that I think I'm scared to accept that it turns me on, to think of my wife like that ****** back at the frat-party, letting the other guy(s) cum in her but not me. And I think that if I knew for sure it would be something for a finite period of time, that I could definitely see letting it happen and even wanting it to happen. But I don't know that I'm ready for it to become a true reality and to find out 3 months in that it isn't something we can turn back from quite so easily. Not that it is what would happen, but as with everything, it's something we need to talk about and what the safety-valves and safe-words would be as the slippery-slope may get a lot steeper.
So, yes, I'm hesitant. But at the same time, the thought of sharing her permanently like this, I have to admit - if I/we could be more assured of how it would work out, I would clearly say yes to trying it out. I know, it sounds crazy to say that - that I would give up that much with her to enjoy it differently but I would. It even sounds crazy to me, but at the same time, my cock is rock hard here as I am typing this and thinking about it.
It wasn't a mistake letting her see Paul last Wednesday and it's not a mistake that she's seeing him again tonight. Our daughter is working in the mall at a clothing-shop, so her days/hours are variable but Sue isn't seeing Paul ever time our daughter is working - so that's a good thing - but trying to say it needs to end abruptly would be a mistake. Nothing has changed yet other than us talking so I don't know why I would want to tell her to see him less right now just because of what we are talking about, actually that she's not jumping to see him more of her own is a nice thing to feel about all of this.
Last Wednesday night was mainly spent with me trying to tell her how it made me feel to know she'd been with him earlier and was now enjoying the after-glow of their fun as she watched me pleasure myself. She left her panties on but let me see the darkened area between her legs as she told me of what they'd done. It was something I recalled thinking when we talked again and she told me of his prowess, thinking of how he'd been satisfied and how wet she likely was as I lay there next to her. I told her that knowing she was lying next to me having come from being with him and that her pussy was likely full of his cum was making me very horny. Needless to say, it didn't take much of her encouragement for me to cum. But what she did say again as I lay there after spurting all over was what she'd also said all along and that was I obviously enjoyed it, why was I always fighting it.
And I think for me that's where the real issue lies. Can I truly let go of this view of what a man is, that it's somehow not okay to enjoy my wife's open sexuality with her lover?
Steve,
I think we can all agree that you are a cuckold. You enjoy your wife getting pleasure from the attentions of other men. You might even enjoy watching and hearing about those attentions for an extended period of time. What others have been talking about though is for that period to be permanent. A change in your relationship that I do not believe you are ready for, wanting or even seriously thinking about. For the moment I don't think Sue is either. You both seem to see this is as somehow stretching the game. Becoming yet more extreme but still holding on the belief that someone you can both snap wholly or at least partly back. I believe that this difference, which in reality or the next few months may be small, is the crucial component in allowing you to proceed with Sue's plan. The issue is whether you trust her. Do you believe her when she says it can end at some time, that you can get relief from it if you become desperate and that it isn't merely a strategy for Sue to move to complete permanent denial by stealth. I think you can and should trust her, and you can and will move with the plan and I don't think you will be any less of a man if you do.
I think we can all agree that you are a cuckold. You enjoy your wife getting pleasure from the attentions of other men. You might even enjoy watching and hearing about those attentions for an extended period of time. What others have been talking about though is for that period to be permanent. A change in your relationship that I do not believe you are ready for, wanting or even seriously thinking about. For the moment I don't think Sue is either. You both seem to see this is as somehow stretching the game. Becoming yet more extreme but still holding on the belief that someone you can both snap wholly or at least partly back. I believe that this difference, which in reality or the next few months may be small, is the crucial component in allowing you to proceed with Sue's plan. The issue is whether you trust her. Do you believe her when she says it can end at some time, that you can get relief from it if you become desperate and that it isn't merely a strategy for Sue to move to complete permanent denial by stealth. I think you can and should trust her, and you can and will move with the plan and I don't think you will be any less of a man if you do.
Let go and just enjoy the ride Stb! Your wife doesn't think any less of you and you shouldn't either! You have led her here, she knows what you both are after, now let her take you there. Sure, you will start with a set period of denial, which I believe is a good thing for you both, but then I suspect that it will move into longer stretches until it is something that is much more permanent. But i bet when you will be okay with that once you become accustomed to a new normalcy of your sex together. Loving cuckold denial works and it shouldn't effect how you see yourself as a man!
For Raks - 3 months is probably the longest I would choose to go for without some kind of intercourse with her. Maybe a bit longer or maybe a bit shorter depending on things. I think, as Far2 put it, setting some kind of boundaries to start with is probably a good thing.
But even when I'm talking with Sue about, she wavers back and forth too - she admitted that it is a lot of fun for her to have sex with me and see how it affects me and how it turns me on to be using a condom with her when she admits she can still close her eyes and still enjoy the sensations she shared with Paul. So she is far from set on completely cutting me off. The thing is, I can understand what she's asking for. She wants us to accept that we are going to change the norm - that we're going to change what we both see as "the way it is" between us. Yes, the alpha part of me still enjoys and I guess, in a way, clings to the last and hopeful next feeling of her bare. But the beta part of me says that maybe it is time to embrace things and change how we see each other. I think, in a way, I still have some expectation of her letting me fuck her and that it is something that will change between us - to when I won't look forward to that as something other than something truly special for us to share. I know it sounds crazy to think of that kind of denial as being arousing but the thought of masturbating while knowing she wants his cock is a thought that seems to always drive me crazy and make me wicked hard.
But even when I'm talking with Sue about, she wavers back and forth too - she admitted that it is a lot of fun for her to have sex with me and see how it affects me and how it turns me on to be using a condom with her when she admits she can still close her eyes and still enjoy the sensations she shared with Paul. So she is far from set on completely cutting me off. The thing is, I can understand what she's asking for. She wants us to accept that we are going to change the norm - that we're going to change what we both see as "the way it is" between us. Yes, the alpha part of me still enjoys and I guess, in a way, clings to the last and hopeful next feeling of her bare. But the beta part of me says that maybe it is time to embrace things and change how we see each other. I think, in a way, I still have some expectation of her letting me fuck her and that it is something that will change between us - to when I won't look forward to that as something other than something truly special for us to share. I know it sounds crazy to think of that kind of denial as being arousing but the thought of masturbating while knowing she wants his cock is a thought that seems to always drive me crazy and make me wicked hard.
Exactly, it will be crazy sexy for you both to know that why you are doing this and that in itself will fuel your "new" form of sex which is you masturbating for both of your pleasure. You may want to negotiate for being allowed to pleasure her. I personally find more fulfillment by being able to lick my wife to orgasm than i do by getting myself off for my pleasure. Do you feel similar?
raksdeer said:
Rak,
I must assume that you are speaking in reference to post #439 “Sometimes it is amazing how some do not know how to be supportive and also be non-judgmental of choices made by consenting adults.” If this was the case, let me be very clear, this was a general remark to the group, if I wanted to bring specific attention to you, I would have done so openly in the forum and or via private message.
I for one try to not be judgmental when it comes to the lifestyle choices of others, as so many individuals and couples are all over the spectrum in your respective lifestyle choices. As to your seven (7) questions as it relates STB’s narrative as you call it.
You would be naive to believe that every relationship which involves cuckolding are truly open and honest, much less has a full level of trust. As far as the marriage of Steve and Sue, YES I believe that for a relationship to last as long as there’s has, Steve and Sue have had a great level of trust, honest, and open communication. What you have been seeing over the last couple of years is the same in every relationship, both have been holding back just a bit due to the internal conflicts about how they each feel respectively and how that may be inferred through dialog. For both to be completely honest with each other they must FIRST be completely honest to themselves. This is something that you have surely read through Steve’s own post.
As to your question about a couple taking extreme steps and should it be conscious choice of both partners, all members/partners within a relationship will need to determined what works best for their respective lifestyle dynamic. This is a very personal choice between a husband, a wife and in some cases another individuals in which they have brought into the relationship. In the case of Steve, Sue and Paul, it is critical that Steve and Sue are on the same page and at some point the three of them should all sit down and have a talk to clear the air of the direction of the overall relationship as he has been a part of it far longer than any of the other men in which Steve and Sue have been involved with.
As Steve has said within his various post, he opened up the marriage to this lifestyle, he opened up to Sue about his beta desires, as expected at this point Steve is dealing with conflicted feeling which only he can address for himself. Yes he is apprehensive, yes he is conflicted and this is normal for someone that has come out of the closet per say about their own preferences. This is another area were a person needs to come to terms about his or her own preference, desires, needs, feelings, viewpoints before they can clearly formulate a clear series of thought for the purpose of having a truly open honest discussion about everything. Internal individual conflicts verses comfort level, this is something that only Steve can answer.
As to the dynamic which may or may not involved what many here consider denial of one form of sexual contact or another, this is an area which is about choices and the desires of each member within any relationship. What some consider denial other may consider normal. As to your remarks about Sue feeling an "obligation", I think everyone should be glad that Steve and Sue can speak openly about those feelings. Many other marriages would simply find excuses not to have sex, in some cases even cheat without the knowledge of the other partner within the marriage, these are truly common issues in many marriages that have lasted as long as Steve and Sue’s has. I for one, commend them both for having this discussion even if it makes them both uncomfortable, at least they are talking about it.
As to your final question, “why the hurry to deny? What is the emergency? Why the push?”, I have already addressed this in other post including this reply.
Enjoy your viewpoints, and next time you think I am speaking about you, send me a PM to address it with me so we are not hi-jacking Steve’s thread. I will refrain what I said early on, let me be very clear about post # 439, this was a general remark to the group, if I wanted to bring specific attention to you, I would have done so openly in the forum and or via private message.
Steve,
I think you need to step back a little and decide what you want from yourself and Sue going forward. Over the last 12 months you have moved your stance like a cat on a hot tin roof on many issues. Most particularly on connection with Sue, sex frequency, the status of Paul and several others. You have now jumped into a zone (or more correctly been pushed into it by Sue) where in the past you would never have been and are attempting to justify it to yourself by saying you have probably always felt it and are only just now accepting that. Looked at from the outside, it would be easier to make a case for clinical depression brought on by your wife slowly moving away from you than your current comments. I can almost hear the denied chorus muttering as I say this. Perhaps what I am saying most of all is make sure. You are mentally entering a zone that it will be difficult if not impossible to reverse your marriage out of. You still don't know how far Sue intends to go. You don't know the level of Paul's duplicity. They have both lied to you by ommission. After this summer Sue may well plan to spend half the week or more at Paul's house, maybe occasionally having you over to watch. It would fit in better with her stated comments than the current meetings. I said before you have to trust Sue. I think I should have added trust but Verify.
I think you need to step back a little and decide what you want from yourself and Sue going forward. Over the last 12 months you have moved your stance like a cat on a hot tin roof on many issues. Most particularly on connection with Sue, sex frequency, the status of Paul and several others. You have now jumped into a zone (or more correctly been pushed into it by Sue) where in the past you would never have been and are attempting to justify it to yourself by saying you have probably always felt it and are only just now accepting that. Looked at from the outside, it would be easier to make a case for clinical depression brought on by your wife slowly moving away from you than your current comments. I can almost hear the denied chorus muttering as I say this. Perhaps what I am saying most of all is make sure. You are mentally entering a zone that it will be difficult if not impossible to reverse your marriage out of. You still don't know how far Sue intends to go. You don't know the level of Paul's duplicity. They have both lied to you by ommission. After this summer Sue may well plan to spend half the week or more at Paul's house, maybe occasionally having you over to watch. It would fit in better with her stated comments than the current meetings. I said before you have to trust Sue. I think I should have added trust but Verify.
Peak - yeah - I know - I feel like I've been pulled in as many different directions as you've observed. But I think I understand a lot of it now and yes, that I see things a little more clearly especially over the past 6-8 months. But your point of this being pushed on me, or seeming to be, as opposed to it just happening or happening more slowly over a period of time is also something that's been on my mind.
She did see Paul yesterday afternoon. She asked me and I told her I was okay with it as it's not going to change anything right now whether she saw him or she didn't. But it did lead to her sharing a lot of thing with me last night. She was home just before dinner time but it wasn't until we had some alone time later on that we talked about things. She told me that he'd cum in her twice and that she'd cum "many more times than that" and she looked at me and asked me if that wasn't what I'd wanted to feel, her desiring another man more than me.
I told her plainly that while I'd enjoyed the fantasy part of it and that I enjoyed the physical aspects of it (the denial part), I told her that I was having a hard time hearing her say that, that she desired him more than me and that she enjoyed the sex with him more than me. She held my hand and asked me - isn't that what you wanted? - isn't that what you said you wanted when you describe how you wanted to be the beta? - and then she also said it "isn't it part of what you wanted as a cuckold?". She doesn't often use that word and it caught me off guard but it also made the question very pointed.
I told her that I could accept her desire being focused elsewhere but that now that it was happening, that I felt unsure about it as well as unsure about other things - bringing to mind the concerns raised by Peak and Raks and others. So much so that I looked at her and asked her plainly "is there more to this with Paul?". She asked me what I meant and I seemed to have found the courage and focus to simply tell her exactly what was on my mind. I told her "I need to know if it's just you wanting to fuck the heck out of him? Or is there more - do you want more than that with him?......" and then I added "and if you do, what does it mean for us?".
She was quiet for a moment and then she said "I never had and never will lie to you baby" and she proceeded to tell me that it IS mainly that she is enjoying the sex with him incredibly so. She even said that the taboo-ness that has come up due to working around our daughter's work schedule is making it even more exciting to be with him - but that she admits that is likely to fade back over the next few weeks - but she giggled and joked that she feels like she did back in high-school and college when her hormones first took off and she couldn't wait for the next time to have sex and she added that she was excited to "feel excited by it". And she did say that she cared for him and that it was hard for her to express how she felt emotionally about him. She said that she has to feel something with him to enjoy the sex like she is with him and that I should know that she's not just doing it without wanting to do it and without wanting it herself. I asked her if she loved him - thinking she'll either keep giving me the same answer or one day she'll say something different - and again she said the same, that she doesn't love him as she does me or anyone else in a family/emotional way, but that she does have feelings for him and that he's not just some stranger. I asked her again and she said "maybe, I guess it could be a form of love if you must hear me say it" but she added and clarified - rather strongly that she doesn't feel en emotional need or connection to him, not that she feels she must have him or must be with him from that sense - but she did say quite clearly several times that the sex between them has gotten even better. She looked at me and said "you haven't been with us in a while" and she blushed a little and said "it's really good now between us" and just from the look on her face and how she said it, I have to say that I sort of understood just from the tone of voice and how she said it, that I sort of almost understood why she'd asked what she had of me.
As we talked she got undressed and when she lay back on the bed naked I was surprised as I thought she was going to just be getting changed. She looked at me and said "I thought you'd be horny for me by now honey?" and I looked at her and said "oh, you mean you want to?" When she nodded yes I asked her "is it because you want to or because you want me to?" It was awkward but I knew what I was asking and so did she. She looked up and said "it's what I want to share with you now, so yes, I want you honey". I asked her what happened to "not wanting me" and she said "I'm not ready for that yet either" and then after a pause she added "I do want you tonight" and she gently spread her legs apart to show me all of her as she lay there on the bed. For a moment the feeling of her being like a goddess swept over me but when I started to focus in on her again I saw she'd lazily started to finger herself as I heard her say the end of the sentence of ".... get undressed and climb in here with me".
I pulled the condom onto my cock as I lay down on the bed next to her and for a moment I think I had a tear in my eye and before she could ask I told her "I'm not sure I can give this up baby" as I rubbed my cock up against her leg and she pulled her knees back a bit more for me. She looked at me and pulled me to kiss her and as she did she said "it'll be okay baby, when we're both ready, it'll be okay" and with that she pulled me into a kiss with her and as our tongues found each other I felt her hand guide my cock to lay flat against her pussy mound. "Rub it up and down against me first baby". I moved up onto my knees and we both watched my latex (polyurethane) covered cock slide up and down against her swollen pussy. She looked up at me and said stuff to me - some of it was just bits and pieces - "ooh so good" or "ooh your're so hard" - but at another point as I started to push into her she told me how she loved feeling Paul enter her "just like you are" and she proceeded to tease me intensely as I pushed all the way in and she told me how she ".... love to feel him fill me up....".
Now I was horny from the whole scene and to be honest, it was pushing out all of the negative and conflicted feelings I was having. After fucking her for well near 30 years I could tell as I entered her that she was into it. I can tell when she's faking it and I can definitely tell when she would say "this is just for you" when she'd basically allow me to just use her to get off - and last night - there was no doubt she was into it. Not just from how wet she was as I know a lot of that was still from Paul, but it was how open her pussy felt and even more so - how she felt once I was fully into her. When she's not into it she'll pretty much just lie there and let me have my way - but last night I could feel her thrusting up at me to take me deeper and I could feel her pussy trembling inside as she felt me go deep and then stay before pulling back.
She teased more but I was too into it after a little bit to respond - maybe I was super-aware or whatever, but she just felt amazing to me. And sure enough, not more than a few moments later, her teasing chatter also ceased and I felt her pull her legs back and hunch downward to give me even more access. She can fake an orgasm with the best of them but she can't fake the sudden rush of slick wetness that occurs in her pussy when she cums and I felt that sensation at least twice before my instinct took over and I plunged into her one last time.
No, I was good through fucking her, it was afterwards when I felt my cock starting to shrink and I felt her reach down and hold the condom on as she slid my out of her pussy - it was then that I suddenly got very upset and she saw it start almost immediately. I leaned down against her and held her tightly and told her that I was scared to give that up between us and to make it be something we shared less of. I told her I could deal with my whole "manhood issue" and all of that but when it came down to it, that I wasn't sure I could do without feeling her like that. She slid the wet condom off my cock and pulled me close to her and held me and said that she understood and she pushed my face back to look at me and she said "it scares me a little too honey".
She did see Paul yesterday afternoon. She asked me and I told her I was okay with it as it's not going to change anything right now whether she saw him or she didn't. But it did lead to her sharing a lot of thing with me last night. She was home just before dinner time but it wasn't until we had some alone time later on that we talked about things. She told me that he'd cum in her twice and that she'd cum "many more times than that" and she looked at me and asked me if that wasn't what I'd wanted to feel, her desiring another man more than me.
I told her plainly that while I'd enjoyed the fantasy part of it and that I enjoyed the physical aspects of it (the denial part), I told her that I was having a hard time hearing her say that, that she desired him more than me and that she enjoyed the sex with him more than me. She held my hand and asked me - isn't that what you wanted? - isn't that what you said you wanted when you describe how you wanted to be the beta? - and then she also said it "isn't it part of what you wanted as a cuckold?". She doesn't often use that word and it caught me off guard but it also made the question very pointed.
I told her that I could accept her desire being focused elsewhere but that now that it was happening, that I felt unsure about it as well as unsure about other things - bringing to mind the concerns raised by Peak and Raks and others. So much so that I looked at her and asked her plainly "is there more to this with Paul?". She asked me what I meant and I seemed to have found the courage and focus to simply tell her exactly what was on my mind. I told her "I need to know if it's just you wanting to fuck the heck out of him? Or is there more - do you want more than that with him?......" and then I added "and if you do, what does it mean for us?".
She was quiet for a moment and then she said "I never had and never will lie to you baby" and she proceeded to tell me that it IS mainly that she is enjoying the sex with him incredibly so. She even said that the taboo-ness that has come up due to working around our daughter's work schedule is making it even more exciting to be with him - but that she admits that is likely to fade back over the next few weeks - but she giggled and joked that she feels like she did back in high-school and college when her hormones first took off and she couldn't wait for the next time to have sex and she added that she was excited to "feel excited by it". And she did say that she cared for him and that it was hard for her to express how she felt emotionally about him. She said that she has to feel something with him to enjoy the sex like she is with him and that I should know that she's not just doing it without wanting to do it and without wanting it herself. I asked her if she loved him - thinking she'll either keep giving me the same answer or one day she'll say something different - and again she said the same, that she doesn't love him as she does me or anyone else in a family/emotional way, but that she does have feelings for him and that he's not just some stranger. I asked her again and she said "maybe, I guess it could be a form of love if you must hear me say it" but she added and clarified - rather strongly that she doesn't feel en emotional need or connection to him, not that she feels she must have him or must be with him from that sense - but she did say quite clearly several times that the sex between them has gotten even better. She looked at me and said "you haven't been with us in a while" and she blushed a little and said "it's really good now between us" and just from the look on her face and how she said it, I have to say that I sort of understood just from the tone of voice and how she said it, that I sort of almost understood why she'd asked what she had of me.
As we talked she got undressed and when she lay back on the bed naked I was surprised as I thought she was going to just be getting changed. She looked at me and said "I thought you'd be horny for me by now honey?" and I looked at her and said "oh, you mean you want to?" When she nodded yes I asked her "is it because you want to or because you want me to?" It was awkward but I knew what I was asking and so did she. She looked up and said "it's what I want to share with you now, so yes, I want you honey". I asked her what happened to "not wanting me" and she said "I'm not ready for that yet either" and then after a pause she added "I do want you tonight" and she gently spread her legs apart to show me all of her as she lay there on the bed. For a moment the feeling of her being like a goddess swept over me but when I started to focus in on her again I saw she'd lazily started to finger herself as I heard her say the end of the sentence of ".... get undressed and climb in here with me".
I pulled the condom onto my cock as I lay down on the bed next to her and for a moment I think I had a tear in my eye and before she could ask I told her "I'm not sure I can give this up baby" as I rubbed my cock up against her leg and she pulled her knees back a bit more for me. She looked at me and pulled me to kiss her and as she did she said "it'll be okay baby, when we're both ready, it'll be okay" and with that she pulled me into a kiss with her and as our tongues found each other I felt her hand guide my cock to lay flat against her pussy mound. "Rub it up and down against me first baby". I moved up onto my knees and we both watched my latex (polyurethane) covered cock slide up and down against her swollen pussy. She looked up at me and said stuff to me - some of it was just bits and pieces - "ooh so good" or "ooh your're so hard" - but at another point as I started to push into her she told me how she loved feeling Paul enter her "just like you are" and she proceeded to tease me intensely as I pushed all the way in and she told me how she ".... love to feel him fill me up....".
Now I was horny from the whole scene and to be honest, it was pushing out all of the negative and conflicted feelings I was having. After fucking her for well near 30 years I could tell as I entered her that she was into it. I can tell when she's faking it and I can definitely tell when she would say "this is just for you" when she'd basically allow me to just use her to get off - and last night - there was no doubt she was into it. Not just from how wet she was as I know a lot of that was still from Paul, but it was how open her pussy felt and even more so - how she felt once I was fully into her. When she's not into it she'll pretty much just lie there and let me have my way - but last night I could feel her thrusting up at me to take me deeper and I could feel her pussy trembling inside as she felt me go deep and then stay before pulling back.
She teased more but I was too into it after a little bit to respond - maybe I was super-aware or whatever, but she just felt amazing to me. And sure enough, not more than a few moments later, her teasing chatter also ceased and I felt her pull her legs back and hunch downward to give me even more access. She can fake an orgasm with the best of them but she can't fake the sudden rush of slick wetness that occurs in her pussy when she cums and I felt that sensation at least twice before my instinct took over and I plunged into her one last time.
No, I was good through fucking her, it was afterwards when I felt my cock starting to shrink and I felt her reach down and hold the condom on as she slid my out of her pussy - it was then that I suddenly got very upset and she saw it start almost immediately. I leaned down against her and held her tightly and told her that I was scared to give that up between us and to make it be something we shared less of. I told her I could deal with my whole "manhood issue" and all of that but when it came down to it, that I wasn't sure I could do without feeling her like that. She slid the wet condom off my cock and pulled me close to her and held me and said that she understood and she pushed my face back to look at me and she said "it scares me a little too honey".
Very well written Steve. I can see that you both felt the need last night, especially so as Sue has previously defered from sex with you after a heavy session with Paul. It all leaves open the central question in all this. If it makes you apprehensive and unsure, and Sue a little scared, why go there and why go on the current timetable? My previous comment about these steps creating some irrevocable change still stands. I'm not suggesting you do or you don't just that you both be equally certain whichever way you jointly decide.
Steve it is good to see that your still posting. I would agree with Peak that your recent post was very well written. While I continue to try to be one of the few encouraging lights on the thread I also have concerns. You and Sue are at a point were you really should take some time to have this conversation about the expending topic WITHOUT turning it into a sexual contact time, you both need to have a very clear perspective and approach to what could be a life changing series of events for you both. The sex at this point is simply a distraction, a deferment of the much more series discussions at hand.
Hi STB,
First can I join the chorus of people who have praised your writing ability, the way that you convey situations and emotions is amazing. In fact at times I have wondered if this was a well crafted "interactive" story with each episode written to respond to the desires and comments of your loyal followers. If you were paid by the word you'd be rich by now
I have found your revelations of the workings of an Alpha -> Beta thought process fascinating and I never know whether to be in awe of your ability to share the super sexy and sexual Sue or whether to think you are weak for the very same reason - which I guess mirrors the mix of comments in your threads.
I am an Alpha, but not a cruel Dom type of person, in fact your descriptions of Paul could easily apply to me, which is why my comments are coming from a different place to many, let me explain...
Frankly I have little interest in the cuckold other than that he lets me fuck his wife as and when I want (yes, I have played those Dom "humiliation" games a few times but it's not really me) which is why I can say to you what is important is not whether you and Sue stop penetrative sex, but what happens with Paul.
People like Paul and I spend our time keeping the wife happy enough that she will keep allowing us to fuck her, whilst keeping her at arms length - I certainly don't want any of my women to be more than NSA fuck buddies, but as your post says the sex gets better when the woman does have some sort of emotional attachment with the lover - hence the balancing act.
My question to you (which I think one of your regular posters may have asked a few pages back) is how long do you think that Sue's relationship with Paul can continue?
Not because of you and your feelings or Sue and hers, but because of his.
He may be a confirmed bachelor, who never wants a live-in partner, but I somehow I doubt it.
He may still be happy just fucking Sue, but at some point he's going to want want all Alpha's want - fresh pussy.
So if tomorrow he meets "the next woman" in his life where is that going to leave you and Sue?
My suggestion to you is to repeat what has been posted several times before, you and Sue must ensure that you have a connection and that you keep on re-connecting, because come that day when things change you will need that bond to get through it.
Anyway, enough of my drivel, thanks again for your fascinating and entertaining posts and please continue with them
First can I join the chorus of people who have praised your writing ability, the way that you convey situations and emotions is amazing. In fact at times I have wondered if this was a well crafted "interactive" story with each episode written to respond to the desires and comments of your loyal followers. If you were paid by the word you'd be rich by now
I have found your revelations of the workings of an Alpha -> Beta thought process fascinating and I never know whether to be in awe of your ability to share the super sexy and sexual Sue or whether to think you are weak for the very same reason - which I guess mirrors the mix of comments in your threads.
I am an Alpha, but not a cruel Dom type of person, in fact your descriptions of Paul could easily apply to me, which is why my comments are coming from a different place to many, let me explain...
Frankly I have little interest in the cuckold other than that he lets me fuck his wife as and when I want (yes, I have played those Dom "humiliation" games a few times but it's not really me) which is why I can say to you what is important is not whether you and Sue stop penetrative sex, but what happens with Paul.
People like Paul and I spend our time keeping the wife happy enough that she will keep allowing us to fuck her, whilst keeping her at arms length - I certainly don't want any of my women to be more than NSA fuck buddies, but as your post says the sex gets better when the woman does have some sort of emotional attachment with the lover - hence the balancing act.
My question to you (which I think one of your regular posters may have asked a few pages back) is how long do you think that Sue's relationship with Paul can continue?
Not because of you and your feelings or Sue and hers, but because of his.
He may be a confirmed bachelor, who never wants a live-in partner, but I somehow I doubt it.
He may still be happy just fucking Sue, but at some point he's going to want want all Alpha's want - fresh pussy.
So if tomorrow he meets "the next woman" in his life where is that going to leave you and Sue?
My suggestion to you is to repeat what has been posted several times before, you and Sue must ensure that you have a connection and that you keep on re-connecting, because come that day when things change you will need that bond to get through it.
Anyway, enough of my drivel, thanks again for your fascinating and entertaining posts and please continue with them
Well, with losing the last few days/weeks of posts, not really sure what the last ones were about.
Rather than trying to remember exact context and such, I thought what I would post was some of what we talked about yesterday once we had the house to ourselves. The conversation started with what Paul was doing for Fathers day (spending it with his kids) but soon morphed into a bit more of a discussion about him and the future. I asked her pretty plainly what she was thinking about and I was surprised by her responses. Without trying to recap the entire conversation, I will say that for maybe the first time I heard her talk about "life after Paul" and she said at one point that she knows it's not going to last forever. When we talked, she said some of the things that Enigma and others had posted, that she too thinks he is going to want more in the future than she's going to be willing to give, or as she reluctantly shared, that he also might "tire of her" and she said that she was already sometimes feeling like a golf-widow. I asked her if he was planning or had mentioned another golf-weekend like she'd gone on before with him and she seemed a little disappointed when she said that he hadn't talked about it yet so I pointed out that there's still a lot of summer left.
She asked me how I felt about things and I told her that for now, I feel okay about her and Paul. As we talked she asked about how I was feeling about the whole "beta thing" and if it was still what I wanted. It led to an interesting short conversation as I asked her back how she felt and if she was enjoying it and she said that she loved how I was letting her do what she wanted and to experience what she wanted. She said that she appreciated that I could feel relaxed and okay about her enjoying her sexuality with Paul and that she was feeling good that she could genuinely enjoy herself with him and that I wanted that for her. She told me again how I shouldn't feel threatened by him and that the liked that I was okay with everything.
We talked a lot about her emerging desires and she admitted that she is feeling them, that she wants to feel consumed by Paul. When I pushed her a bit I asked if this was again her desire for a "whole big affair" and she denied that saying she really doesn't want the emotional stuff, that she feels herself pretty well sorted out in that sense. But she did admit to wanting to intensify the sexual feelings between her and Paul and when I pushed her a bit more she said that she's feeling like she wants to explore this exclusivity/denial stuff because of what I wrote above - that she feels good about things right now and feels that its something she could do and enjoy with Paul - and then she said it - she said that she wants to do it "while things are still good between all of us" and when I asked her about that she said that things could change at any time and that right now it "just feels like it's the right time". As we talked she acknowledged that it may not last forever with Paul and that in the future she may not feel the same comfort and confidence in being able to do it. She giggled and said that if things fade out with Paul, that as she's getting older, that the opportunity to try something like this might not even happen again.
Rather than trying to remember exact context and such, I thought what I would post was some of what we talked about yesterday once we had the house to ourselves. The conversation started with what Paul was doing for Fathers day (spending it with his kids) but soon morphed into a bit more of a discussion about him and the future. I asked her pretty plainly what she was thinking about and I was surprised by her responses. Without trying to recap the entire conversation, I will say that for maybe the first time I heard her talk about "life after Paul" and she said at one point that she knows it's not going to last forever. When we talked, she said some of the things that Enigma and others had posted, that she too thinks he is going to want more in the future than she's going to be willing to give, or as she reluctantly shared, that he also might "tire of her" and she said that she was already sometimes feeling like a golf-widow. I asked her if he was planning or had mentioned another golf-weekend like she'd gone on before with him and she seemed a little disappointed when she said that he hadn't talked about it yet so I pointed out that there's still a lot of summer left.
She asked me how I felt about things and I told her that for now, I feel okay about her and Paul. As we talked she asked about how I was feeling about the whole "beta thing" and if it was still what I wanted. It led to an interesting short conversation as I asked her back how she felt and if she was enjoying it and she said that she loved how I was letting her do what she wanted and to experience what she wanted. She said that she appreciated that I could feel relaxed and okay about her enjoying her sexuality with Paul and that she was feeling good that she could genuinely enjoy herself with him and that I wanted that for her. She told me again how I shouldn't feel threatened by him and that the liked that I was okay with everything.
We talked a lot about her emerging desires and she admitted that she is feeling them, that she wants to feel consumed by Paul. When I pushed her a bit I asked if this was again her desire for a "whole big affair" and she denied that saying she really doesn't want the emotional stuff, that she feels herself pretty well sorted out in that sense. But she did admit to wanting to intensify the sexual feelings between her and Paul and when I pushed her a bit more she said that she's feeling like she wants to explore this exclusivity/denial stuff because of what I wrote above - that she feels good about things right now and feels that its something she could do and enjoy with Paul - and then she said it - she said that she wants to do it "while things are still good between all of us" and when I asked her about that she said that things could change at any time and that right now it "just feels like it's the right time". As we talked she acknowledged that it may not last forever with Paul and that in the future she may not feel the same comfort and confidence in being able to do it. She giggled and said that if things fade out with Paul, that as she's getting older, that the opportunity to try something like this might not even happen again.
Steve,
Maybe you were going to add more later but in the missing posts I seem to recall that Sue had said she was no longer urgent in pushing your denial agenda and that you were in for some sort of treat on Father's Day as the children had absented themselves. Just wondered how that panned out for you.
On the Paul front, a number of us have been speculating for some time how the Paul thing would progress. In any natural state it will either burn hotter or colder so a steady state requires its own maintenance. Do you think Sue has had more discussion than she has shared with Paul on this already? She did seem to have thought it would last longer a few weeks ago.
Maybe you were going to add more later but in the missing posts I seem to recall that Sue had said she was no longer urgent in pushing your denial agenda and that you were in for some sort of treat on Father's Day as the children had absented themselves. Just wondered how that panned out for you.
On the Paul front, a number of us have been speculating for some time how the Paul thing would progress. In any natural state it will either burn hotter or colder so a steady state requires its own maintenance. Do you think Sue has had more discussion than she has shared with Paul on this already? She did seem to have thought it would last longer a few weeks ago.
That is correct Peak - our talks were just about why her feelings had increased as they seemed to have and what her thoughts were about it all. She is right that when we don't talk about it happening as in "when", that it is easier to talk about and feel each other out more about.
I know that they've talked more recently about the peculiarities (I like that word) that Sue and I share. I don't think she's shared her thoughts about the future with him in those terms, nor has she complained about her golf-widow status. But he is aware of the things that turn me/us on that she is doing. I didn't ask specifically but I believe he is well aware that she would like to be only his sexually at some point.
After spending some time over at her parents and having lunch there, we came home and lounged around for the afternoon till the kids decided they'd had enough swimming and lying in the sun. After they left our talk became quite open and erotic and easy as I have shared a bit of. By later last night however, I have to say, after all of the talking had wound down and it had had it's obvious effects on both of us, she was quite amorous and incredibly sensual with me last night. She climbed up on top of me and for the first time in a long long time she 'sat' on my face (more like squatted above me) and let me totally enjoy licking her pussy. She reached down and stroked my cock while she teased me that her pussy was clean for a change. And then she teased even more and said that it'll be staying that way too.
I admit that i had thoughts that she might have wanted/allowed me bare but that apparently wasn't the case. And honestly, it was what I expected and if anything, it made me horny that she had said it, even if I would have loved to have not heard it. Her pussy sort of gaped open as she squatted over me and I had to lean upwards on my elbows to get to everything I wanted. She loved it when I put my hands on the lower part of her butt with my fingers towards the middle and when I gently pulled her open even wider. She moaned out loud as my fingers played with the area between her butt and her vagina and as I teased around her now swollen opening. I didn't put my fingers inside her though - that was reserved for my tongue.
I have to say, I relished in tasting her - her juices have this most exquisitely sweet taste to them. Yes, I'll admit I missed the taste of Paul's semen in her though, after all this time, it almost seemed like that was how she would normally taste! But as she felt her desired orgasm sweep over her, it was just awesome to feel her pussy at that moment feel like it was almost reaching out and as it if were almost sucking at my tongue as she moaned loudly. LOL in that I laughed then as I am now at remembering my thought of wanting to thank Paul for her keeping herself totally bare as the absence of any pubes really made pleasuring her so much nicer!
I wasn't sure how things were going to go but after that, she rolled off to one side and lay there - fully spread eagle - and told me that I could have some fun with her. I had a thought from the distant past of going and finding 4 neck-ties and restraining her to the bedframe, but that was a fleeting thought as I moved to kneel between her legs and I was just captivated by her. I know she's no 10 to everyone, but to me, she's an 11. It was a very erotic moment as she pulled her knees back and she smiled as she saw me staring. "You okay?" she asked me and all I could do was smile as I looked up at her and I said "yeah, I was just looking at you". She giggled and asked me what I was thinking and I remember that without even a second of thought I said something that I was thinking of her lying like this with Paul. I didn't even think about what I said until the end as I said "....Paul" and I caught myself. She smiled at me and then said "you can have more if you want" as she pulled her knees apart.
I loved hearing her ask for it, hearing her ask me to lick her pussy and I didn't miss the opportunity. I had her close to orgasm before I felt it was my turn to finally have sex with her again. I did lay my bare cock against her pussy and I know that she almost immediately lifted her head up and looked down at it - I think she was about to say something until I reached down and lifted it up and slipped on a condom. By the time I looked back up at her after making sure it was going on correctly, she had already put her head back down and was smiling. This time though when I lay my cock back against her pussy, I started to rub it up and down and then when I was fully hard again, that was when I first started to rub it all around her vaginal opening. She was very wet and it seemed as soon as my cock touched it and she felt it probe inside a bit, she let go with a pent up orgasm that made her shriek out loud, but also opened her pussy up and made it very slippery and easy for me to enter her.
Once I was in her, it was as if all aspect of being a cuckold and beta for me and of her as the alpha were gone. She moaned and squealed for me to fuck her and her pussy gushed as I did. Even through the condom, there was just no mistake as she turned into a bowl of jelly beneath me. I immediately recognized that she was really really horny and then realized that she hadn't seen Paul in quite a long time (for them) and that was likley what was going on. I pushed all the way into her and she moaned loudly at how tight I made her feel and at one point I joked back something about how it didn't feel quite that tight "way inside" which made her squeal out loud nonetheless.
For as horny as needy as I was, as I was on top of her fucking away I also knew I wanted to make it last. At an appropriate moment when I'd pushed deeply into her and was kissing her as I stayed deep, just as I began to pull out I pulled at her shoulders at the same time and dragged her onto the top as I rolled onto my back leaving her sitting on me impaled on my cock. She moaned "oooooooooh" as she let her full weight fall onto me taking me as deeply as she could. The thought of being buried 7+ inches deep in her was erotic enough, but then, knowing Paul undoubtedly enjoyed her that way too made it even more intense for me. She leaned forward to kiss me and again, my hands moved to her butt and then her lower butt where I again began to play with her ass and the sensitive area just below where I was in her pussy at. She ground herself against me as I grazed across her puckered butt and then she seethed in my ear as she felt me again grab her butt cheeks and this time, feel me pull her open even wider.
A moment later as she ground herself against me an intense orgasm swept over her that left her lying flat against my chest and gasping for breath. It felt as if her pussy were alive - like it were trying to eat my cock for dinner - and even as she lay there prone against me, I could still feel her shaking and quivering.
Well, she may have cum but I didn't and a moment later she must have realized it as she slid herself off of me and saw just how huge my cock still was inside her. She lifted one leg and then rolled herself off of me at which point she said in an exhausted voice "now! it is your turn". And yes, I'll say openly that I did enjoy my alpha moment of taking her legs in my arms and pushing them back as I took my place again between her legs. She responded as if it were nothing out of the ordinary - it actually made me feel wonderful at that moment to feel her vaginal contractions on my cock and to hear her moan loudly each time I'd push in and she'd clench down. Again, despite my huge hardon, for a moment there I was actually really really enjoying fucking her - just the sensation of being so connected with her - feeling her as if she were a part of me. We kissed while we fucked and it was just incredibly erotic. But in the end - the feelings began and I so enjoyed feeling it. She felt it too - I felt my cock seem to swell even more and her eyes opened confirming it was for real. She moaned and said something about "....wanting it soon...." and yes, I admit my thoughts did go to her likely saying that to Paul as he enjoyed her even more intimately. But those were short-lived as very soon the familiar urge began and she was totally into it too. However she does it, she seemed to widen her hips and let me in even deeper. The sucking squishing sounds were clearly audible as her pussy flooded all over. Finally, maybe a few minutes later I could hold back no more as I held her legs tightly under my arms and I came and came and came. Her eyes' opened and she said "I can feel it baby..... soooo hot.....". And finally a moment later it was my turn to collapse onto her.
We lay there for a moment and then she gently reached down and took hold of my cock and then slowly pulled me out. She paused to move her fingers to hold the condom in place as she pulled me all the way out and I rolled over off of her. I lay there catching my breath until she moaned and I leaned up on my elbows and she said "look at how much is in here!!!!" and I have to admit, it looked like one of the largest loads of cum from me in a long time.
I'd like to say there was more but in reality, I think almost fell asleep right after that.
I know that they've talked more recently about the peculiarities (I like that word) that Sue and I share. I don't think she's shared her thoughts about the future with him in those terms, nor has she complained about her golf-widow status. But he is aware of the things that turn me/us on that she is doing. I didn't ask specifically but I believe he is well aware that she would like to be only his sexually at some point.
After spending some time over at her parents and having lunch there, we came home and lounged around for the afternoon till the kids decided they'd had enough swimming and lying in the sun. After they left our talk became quite open and erotic and easy as I have shared a bit of. By later last night however, I have to say, after all of the talking had wound down and it had had it's obvious effects on both of us, she was quite amorous and incredibly sensual with me last night. She climbed up on top of me and for the first time in a long long time she 'sat' on my face (more like squatted above me) and let me totally enjoy licking her pussy. She reached down and stroked my cock while she teased me that her pussy was clean for a change. And then she teased even more and said that it'll be staying that way too.
I admit that i had thoughts that she might have wanted/allowed me bare but that apparently wasn't the case. And honestly, it was what I expected and if anything, it made me horny that she had said it, even if I would have loved to have not heard it. Her pussy sort of gaped open as she squatted over me and I had to lean upwards on my elbows to get to everything I wanted. She loved it when I put my hands on the lower part of her butt with my fingers towards the middle and when I gently pulled her open even wider. She moaned out loud as my fingers played with the area between her butt and her vagina and as I teased around her now swollen opening. I didn't put my fingers inside her though - that was reserved for my tongue.
I have to say, I relished in tasting her - her juices have this most exquisitely sweet taste to them. Yes, I'll admit I missed the taste of Paul's semen in her though, after all this time, it almost seemed like that was how she would normally taste! But as she felt her desired orgasm sweep over her, it was just awesome to feel her pussy at that moment feel like it was almost reaching out and as it if were almost sucking at my tongue as she moaned loudly. LOL in that I laughed then as I am now at remembering my thought of wanting to thank Paul for her keeping herself totally bare as the absence of any pubes really made pleasuring her so much nicer!
I wasn't sure how things were going to go but after that, she rolled off to one side and lay there - fully spread eagle - and told me that I could have some fun with her. I had a thought from the distant past of going and finding 4 neck-ties and restraining her to the bedframe, but that was a fleeting thought as I moved to kneel between her legs and I was just captivated by her. I know she's no 10 to everyone, but to me, she's an 11. It was a very erotic moment as she pulled her knees back and she smiled as she saw me staring. "You okay?" she asked me and all I could do was smile as I looked up at her and I said "yeah, I was just looking at you". She giggled and asked me what I was thinking and I remember that without even a second of thought I said something that I was thinking of her lying like this with Paul. I didn't even think about what I said until the end as I said "....Paul" and I caught myself. She smiled at me and then said "you can have more if you want" as she pulled her knees apart.
I loved hearing her ask for it, hearing her ask me to lick her pussy and I didn't miss the opportunity. I had her close to orgasm before I felt it was my turn to finally have sex with her again. I did lay my bare cock against her pussy and I know that she almost immediately lifted her head up and looked down at it - I think she was about to say something until I reached down and lifted it up and slipped on a condom. By the time I looked back up at her after making sure it was going on correctly, she had already put her head back down and was smiling. This time though when I lay my cock back against her pussy, I started to rub it up and down and then when I was fully hard again, that was when I first started to rub it all around her vaginal opening. She was very wet and it seemed as soon as my cock touched it and she felt it probe inside a bit, she let go with a pent up orgasm that made her shriek out loud, but also opened her pussy up and made it very slippery and easy for me to enter her.
Once I was in her, it was as if all aspect of being a cuckold and beta for me and of her as the alpha were gone. She moaned and squealed for me to fuck her and her pussy gushed as I did. Even through the condom, there was just no mistake as she turned into a bowl of jelly beneath me. I immediately recognized that she was really really horny and then realized that she hadn't seen Paul in quite a long time (for them) and that was likley what was going on. I pushed all the way into her and she moaned loudly at how tight I made her feel and at one point I joked back something about how it didn't feel quite that tight "way inside" which made her squeal out loud nonetheless.
For as horny as needy as I was, as I was on top of her fucking away I also knew I wanted to make it last. At an appropriate moment when I'd pushed deeply into her and was kissing her as I stayed deep, just as I began to pull out I pulled at her shoulders at the same time and dragged her onto the top as I rolled onto my back leaving her sitting on me impaled on my cock. She moaned "oooooooooh" as she let her full weight fall onto me taking me as deeply as she could. The thought of being buried 7+ inches deep in her was erotic enough, but then, knowing Paul undoubtedly enjoyed her that way too made it even more intense for me. She leaned forward to kiss me and again, my hands moved to her butt and then her lower butt where I again began to play with her ass and the sensitive area just below where I was in her pussy at. She ground herself against me as I grazed across her puckered butt and then she seethed in my ear as she felt me again grab her butt cheeks and this time, feel me pull her open even wider.
A moment later as she ground herself against me an intense orgasm swept over her that left her lying flat against my chest and gasping for breath. It felt as if her pussy were alive - like it were trying to eat my cock for dinner - and even as she lay there prone against me, I could still feel her shaking and quivering.
Well, she may have cum but I didn't and a moment later she must have realized it as she slid herself off of me and saw just how huge my cock still was inside her. She lifted one leg and then rolled herself off of me at which point she said in an exhausted voice "now! it is your turn". And yes, I'll say openly that I did enjoy my alpha moment of taking her legs in my arms and pushing them back as I took my place again between her legs. She responded as if it were nothing out of the ordinary - it actually made me feel wonderful at that moment to feel her vaginal contractions on my cock and to hear her moan loudly each time I'd push in and she'd clench down. Again, despite my huge hardon, for a moment there I was actually really really enjoying fucking her - just the sensation of being so connected with her - feeling her as if she were a part of me. We kissed while we fucked and it was just incredibly erotic. But in the end - the feelings began and I so enjoyed feeling it. She felt it too - I felt my cock seem to swell even more and her eyes opened confirming it was for real. She moaned and said something about "....wanting it soon...." and yes, I admit my thoughts did go to her likely saying that to Paul as he enjoyed her even more intimately. But those were short-lived as very soon the familiar urge began and she was totally into it too. However she does it, she seemed to widen her hips and let me in even deeper. The sucking squishing sounds were clearly audible as her pussy flooded all over. Finally, maybe a few minutes later I could hold back no more as I held her legs tightly under my arms and I came and came and came. Her eyes' opened and she said "I can feel it baby..... soooo hot.....". And finally a moment later it was my turn to collapse onto her.
We lay there for a moment and then she gently reached down and took hold of my cock and then slowly pulled me out. She paused to move her fingers to hold the condom in place as she pulled me all the way out and I rolled over off of her. I lay there catching my breath until she moaned and I leaned up on my elbows and she said "look at how much is in here!!!!" and I have to admit, it looked like one of the largest loads of cum from me in a long time.
I'd like to say there was more but in reality, I think almost fell asleep right after that.
- Status
